I realize it's a long trip, but I do hope your wife will be able to meet the cat before you definitively decide that the toyger is "the one".She's seen pictures and a video, but couldn't make it out for a visit - it was a 2 hour drive each way, so I had to take off from work.
I wouldn't be concerned if your wife had been wanting to adopt a cat forever, or if she had a history of loving every cat she has ever met, but because she's only just agreed to having a cat in your home, I feel she needs to be on board 100% to prevent any future friction or unhappiness involving your new feline family member. JMHO, of course.
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