Welcome to The Cat Site
your cat community
Interact with our community

Waiting For A Cat

Discussion in 'Cat Behavior' started by Catlover9845, Mar 9, 2019.

  1. Catlover9845

    Catlover9845 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    10
    41
    Mar 9, 2019
    Hi,

    After several years of asking and begging, my wife has finally agreed to let me get a cat, with the caveat that we need to wait until 2-3 months after she gives birth to our first child. She's not pregnant yet.

    My question is, what is the best time to get a cat around a pregnancy? Before, during, shortly after (2-3 months) or even longer - 6 months to a year? If there's a solid consensus that it's better to get it before, I may be able to push for it...
     
    calico man, rubysmama, tarasgirl06 and 2 others purraised this.

  2. tabbytom

    tabbytom Happiness is being owned by a cat Staff Member Mentor

    8,449
    9,731
    May 12, 2016
    Garden City, Singapore
    graphics-hello-463535.gif amirfk12, on behalf of The Catsite community, a warm Welcome-Cats-Animated-welcome-comment-001.gif to you.

    So glad that you’ve joined this site and you are in the right place for all things cat and this site is loaded with tons of rich resources and you’ll find friendly and helpful cats around and many of our cats are very knowledgeable in cat related stuffs.

    Great that your wife agreed to let you have a cat :clapcat:

    As for your question on the best time to get a cat, please :hangin: on for awhile and wait for other members who has gone through the similar situation as you may be able to help you answer your question.

    New Here? I Have A Few Suggestions For You!
    How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post
    Community Guidelines & Practices - Frequently Asked Questions
    Forum Rules

    Feel free to ask questions if you have any and start a new thread of your own and post them under the appropriate forum headings and do check out the many informative articles we have here in Articles | The Cat Site

    Enjoy your stay and see ya around :wink:
     
    zed xyzed, Catlover9845, calico man and 4 others purraised this.

  3. Furballsmom

    Furballsmom Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

    14,449
    17,998
    Jan 9, 2018
    Colorado USA
    Hi!
    I think wait until 3-6 months - that will give you-all a better chance to have settled into a routine, however if you find you're still sleep deprived you might want to wait a little longer :)
     

  4. PushPurrCatPaws

    PushPurrCatPaws TCS Member Top Cat

    7,378
    7,240
    May 22, 2015
    I think it depends on whether you want to get a kitten or an adult cat.

    Kittens can cause a lot of sleep deprivation as it is, so maybe if you find a wonderful cat aged 2/3 yrs old or older at a rescue or shelter, that would hopefully be an easier adjustment during an already exciting and stressful time.
    :catlove:
     

  5. Catlover9845

    Catlover9845 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    10
    41
    Mar 9, 2019
    Definitely thinking about a kitten. I'm looking for a breed that is great with kids and doesn't shed a ton. I'm thinking of a toyger, but haven't settled on that for sure.
     
    Furballsmom purraised this.

  6. neely

    neely TCS Member Staff Member Forum Helper

    6,239
    8,493
    Dec 22, 2005
    Another warm welcome to TCS! :wave3: I have to admit I smiled when I read your post. Reason being, before our first child was born we had two cats and sometime afterwards we added two more. :biggrin:

    This is obviously a difficult question since you know your wife and situation best. My first question would be, have you ever had a cat before? If the answer is yes then it would probably be okay to get a cat prior to your wife getting pregnant. If the answer is no then you may want to wait because it could be an adjustment. However, putting on my tiny devil's advocate hat and speaking from someone who has two kiddos myself, you never know exactly how long it will take your wife to become pregnant. I don't mean to get personal since that's not the purpose of your post. I'm just trying to think of all the possibilities that could arise.

    In the end, I think the best decision is one that would insure the cat or kitten and your family are settled in and happy. Sometimes fate comes into play and the right time to get a cat is when you fall in love with a new furry friend. :catlove: I wish your wife and you the best of luck. I think you are wise to come here and ask for advice and support. I hope I have helped answer your question and look forward to seeing your future family both feline and baby. :heartshape:
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2019

  7. talkingpeanut

    talkingpeanut TCS Member Top Cat

    11,360
    3,207
    Oct 12, 2015
    I would really recommend that you do not get a kitten. I think you will want a young adult cat so that you can get to know its personality. It does not seem like your wife is fully sold on the cat idea. Introducing a wild kitten to a house with a baby may not be ideal. A kitten also needs a ton of attention, like hours of play a day, and it will be difficult to adjust into a baby's routine.

    In addition, with a kitten, you won't know what their adult personality will be. If you get to know cats from a rescue or a shelter, you will have much more information, including whether they are good with kids, their energy level, whether they are timid, etc.

    There are so many wonderful cats in rescues and shelters. Maybe try to get to know some with her wife so she can bond, too.
     
    goingpostal, She's a witch, Fish Em and 7 others purraised this.

  8. war&wisdom

    war&wisdom TCS Member Super Cat

    734
    891
    Aug 2, 2018
    Baltimore, MD
    And breed doesn't make much of a difference. I know it often does with dogs, but not with cats. For example, Ragdolls are supposedly chill cats, but there have been several posts on this site in the past few months complaining that a newly-acquired Ragdoll kitten is too active. (Well, yeah, because you got a kitten!)

    Individual temperament is much more important, and getting a cat who's at least a year old will enable you to pick one with a compatible personality.
     
    Last edited: Mar 9, 2019

  9. losna

    losna TCS Member Super Cat

    1,078
    830
    Aug 3, 2014
    I will add my vote for not getting a kitten. Go to a shelter and ask for an adult cat that is good with babies and explain your situation. You will 100% wind up with a better personality and behavior fit.
     
    Catlover9845, calico man, rubysmama and 4 others purraised this.

  10. PushPurrCatPaws

    PushPurrCatPaws TCS Member Top Cat

    7,378
    7,240
    May 22, 2015
    One of the best ways I make decisions for myself is to read up on a subject from a variety of angles. :) Then I think I've considered both the pros and cons for my own situation and maybe learned of a few things which I did or did not want to face if I chose one thing over another.

    There is a Cat Care section here with a lot of great articles, and within the articles are even more links for one to read. There's a good chance you've already read a lot of stuff about cats and kittens, but just in case - some of these articles are:
    First-time Cat Owner's Guide
    A Kitten Or An Older Cat - Which Should You Adopt?
    Why You Should Adopt A Senior Cat
    Kitten Proofing Your Home: 13 Practical Tips
    Toxoplasmosis And Cats
    Bringing Home A New Cat - The Complete Guide
    How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home

    :goodluck:
     
    Catlover9845, calico man, rubysmama and 3 others purraised this.

  11. tarasgirl06

    tarasgirl06 TCS Member Top Cat

    10,501
    22,732
    Sep 19, 2006
    Glendale, California
    Hello @amirfk12 and family, and welcome to TCS! Other posters have some very good thoughts and have supplied some informative links which hopefully will be helpful when the time comes to make your choice. I have a slightly different perspective to share, which is that, when I was born, my parents' sweet male cat was about 3 years old. They had rescued him from the streets, which is the way I have always preferred to adopt cats. He was my best friend, confidante and playmate for fifteen years. We did everything together. He slept on the foot of my bed every night. And my mom taught me gentleness, kindness, compassion, love, and respect for him and for cats in general. There have been many cats in my life, and there are currently 3, all rescues, ages 15, 14, and 11. When my family adopts, it's for life. And I am the same way.
    Babies raised with cats grow up generally healthier, with resistance to allergies, and kinder, if the parents teach them as mine did me. It's the best way for kids to grow and become good people, I think! All the very best to you and your family. *And I, too, would advocate for a mixed-breed adult cat.*
     
    Moka, Catlover9845, DreamerRose and 5 others purraised this.

  12. rubysmama

    rubysmama Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

    8,457
    10,300
    Nov 25, 2013
    Canada
    Hello and welcome to TCS. :wave2:

    I'm thinking if you want to adopt a kitten, you should get it now, so you (and hopefully your wife) can enjoy all the fun of new cat parenthood, that will range from silly kitten antics to possible sleep deprivation before you settle into parenting human children. Since your wife isn't pregnant yet, that would pretty much ensure the kitten would be at least a year old by the time any babies came along.

    Even if you decide to adopt an adult cat, I still think it would be nice to have time to enjoy the cat before the human babies arrive.

    Like @tarasgirl06, my parents had a male adult cat when I was born, so I never knew life without a cat, and have loved cats my entire life. I highly recommend having a cat as an older "sibling". :catrub:

    TCS has this article on Cats And Babies: All Your Questions Answered! that you might find helpful.

    As well there's, How To Mix Cats And Kids The Right Way
     

  13. war&wisdom

    war&wisdom TCS Member Super Cat

    734
    891
    Aug 2, 2018
    Baltimore, MD
    That's a good point -- if you're really set on a kitten, get it now so that the crazy kitten antics have subsided by the time the baby comes. (Again, it doesn't matter what breed of cat you get; kittens are almost always balls of energy.)
     
    Catlover9845, marmoset, calico man and 3 others purraised this.

  14. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    17,514
    20,533
    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    If you are really settled on a kitten, then the sooner the better. You want the kitten settled in and on a schedule before introducing a NEW family member with no schedule at all!!! And very young kittens are SO into everything that they aren't best with newborns, simply due to their natural and irrepressable curiosity.

    If, on the other hand, you would consider an older cat, then I would suggest looking into rescues, as well. Most of them have background on a good many of their cats, and may have one that is known to be great with small children. If you go that direction, then you may bring a cat in at almost any time.
     
    Catlover9845, marmoset, rubysmama and 2 others purraised this.

  15. calico man

    calico man TCS Member Young Cat

    97
    463
    Mar 2, 2017
    Lodi, CA
    TCS members have given great advice and all I can add is that you are wisely planning ahead and looking out for the best interest in your soon to be larger "family", which will obviously include your kitten. Why don't you have your wife look at TCS and see how wonderful it is having a cat? Good luck and keep us posted!
     

  16. rubysmama

    rubysmama Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

    8,457
    10,300
    Nov 25, 2013
    Canada
    Not sure if you've had a cat before or not, but in addition to my post upthread, I wanted to also post this TCS article on 15 Things You Should Know Before Adopting A Cat just so that you and your wife can have an idea of what cat parenthood can involve.
    :petcat:
     

  17. tabbytom

    tabbytom Happiness is being owned by a cat Staff Member Mentor

    8,449
    9,731
    May 12, 2016
    Garden City, Singapore
    Glad that you've got your questions covered and also many other helpful links besides your questions which were given by other members too.

    Feel free to ask as many questions as you can before really committing into getting a cat in your situation. I'm sure many of our members will be glad to help you answer them :thumbsup:
     

  18. Catlover9845

    Catlover9845 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    10
    41
    Mar 9, 2019
    This was really helpful. Thank you all for your comments and support. Inspired by this I also Googled many articles, and had a frank talk with my wife, leaving her the option, but giving her some more facts. She just agreed that we can get a cat now. Now we have to see if we want to adopt a cat from a shelter who's a year a or two old, or try to get a cat from a breeder on shorter notice. Thanks again and I'll check back in once I know what's going to happen.
     

  19. rubysmama

    rubysmama Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

    8,457
    10,300
    Nov 25, 2013
    Canada
    :woohoo::banana1::banana2::bunnydance::banana2::banana1::woohoo:

    That's great! Looking forward to hearing about / seeing pics of your kitten/cat when he/she arrives home.
    :petcat: :catlove: :cutecat:
     
    tarasgirl06 purraised this.

  20. neely

    neely TCS Member Staff Member Forum Helper

    6,239
    8,493
    Dec 22, 2005
    You're entirely welcome! That's what we're here for and glad you persuaded your wife to bring a cat into your life now. :clap: We will be looking forward to any feline updates you might have in the near future. :thumbsup:
     
    tarasgirl06 purraised this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.