Very skittish semi feral, would appreciate any tips!

berry89

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Hi all! My coworker has been feeding a feral/semi feral for a few months and was able to trap her. Unfortunately he is not able to keep her, so I took her. He had already taken her to the vet, and they said she is healthy, and she does seem it. She is spayed and has her shots, and is probably about 8-9 months old. She had a small respiratory infection when I first brought her home, but that's cleared up and she's doing great, physically. I've had her for just over 2 weeks now, and she will not come out of hiding around me. I know this may be a VERY slow process, just looking for any feedback or advice, as this is all new to me! When I first brought her home, I gave her the bathroom and let that be her safe room. She was slow to eat at first but now eats and drinks fine, and uses the litterbox without issue. She still will not eat or come out at all if I am in the room, but she is eating normally otherwise. She tolerates me petting her gently with a wand toy, but I am not sure if that is just out of fear. She does not hiss or swat at me when I've attempted touch, just stays very still and watches me, or runs if she can. She has toys in there but she does not use them, she has shown no interest in them at all. I did also get a Feliway diffuser that is running in there.

I spend time with her in there, and talk to her gently, but she still stays hidden behind the toilet. (I have not blocked off this space as she is not inaccessible to me there, I can nudge her out from the other side If I really needed to.) She had a box she was hiding in at first, but she seems to have abandoned that. I just can't imagine she's more comfortable on the cold tile than on the pillow in the box. As long as I am not in the room, she comes out and walks around, I have a camera in there and she is definitely getting more confident in that room. The hallway connected to the bathroom is a dead end on one side, and can be blocked off at the other end, I am considering doing so and opening the bathroom door so she can begin to have a tiny bit more space (it is a small hallway). I also thought because I work from home this will allow her to hear my voice all day when I am on calls, and maybe get a bit more used to hearing me moving around. Unfortunately I have a desktop setup and am unable to work from the bathroom with her. I have tried leaving the door open in small amounts, with the end of the hallway blocked off, and she has VERY tentatively come out, but as soon as she hears me or thinks I noticed her, she runs right back into the bathroom behind the toilet. Do you think it's a good idea to start leaving the door open like this, or is it too soon? I fear if I continue to keep the bathroom door closed she will continue to just run into hiding every time I open the door. I know that there's no set timeline for this, just looking for any feedback or advice that might be helpful! She really does seem so sweet, and I feel awful that she is so frightened. I know she was used to being outside, but it's getting cold out, and the city where I live is not safe for ferals as there are a lot of dog fighting rings and ferals are used as bait. I just want to help this baby feel same and comfortable.

In her safe spot:
image_50367745.JPG
 

tarasgirl06

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Hi all! My coworker has been feeding a feral/semi feral for a few months and was able to trap her. Unfortunately he is not able to keep her, so I took her. He had already taken her to the vet, and they said she is healthy, and she does seem it. She is spayed and has her shots, and is probably about 8-9 months old. She had a small respiratory infection when I first brought her home, but that's cleared up and she's doing great, physically. I've had her for just over 2 weeks now, and she will not come out of hiding around me. I know this may be a VERY slow process, just looking for any feedback or advice, as this is all new to me! When I first brought her home, I gave her the bathroom and let that be her safe room. She was slow to eat at first but now eats and drinks fine, and uses the litterbox without issue. She still will not eat or come out at all if I am in the room, but she is eating normally otherwise. She tolerates me petting her gently with a wand toy, but I am not sure if that is just out of fear. She does not hiss or swat at me when I've attempted touch, just stays very still and watches me, or runs if she can. She has toys in there but she does not use them, she has shown no interest in them at all. I did also get a Feliway diffuser that is running in there.

I spend time with her in there, and talk to her gently, but she still stays hidden behind the toilet. (I have not blocked off this space as she is not inaccessible to me there, I can nudge her out from the other side If I really needed to.) She had a box she was hiding in at first, but she seems to have abandoned that. I just can't imagine she's more comfortable on the cold tile than on the pillow in the box. As long as I am not in the room, she comes out and walks around, I have a camera in there and she is definitely getting more confident in that room. The hallway connected to the bathroom is a dead end on one side, and can be blocked off at the other end, I am considering doing so and opening the bathroom door so she can begin to have a tiny bit more space (it is a small hallway). I also thought because I work from home this will allow her to hear my voice all day when I am on calls, and maybe get a bit more used to hearing me moving around. Unfortunately I have a desktop setup and am unable to work from the bathroom with her. I have tried leaving the door open in small amounts, with the end of the hallway blocked off, and she has VERY tentatively come out, but as soon as she hears me or thinks I noticed her, she runs right back into the bathroom behind the toilet. Do you think it's a good idea to start leaving the door open like this, or is it too soon? I fear if I continue to keep the bathroom door closed she will continue to just run into hiding every time I open the door. I know that there's no set timeline for this, just looking for any feedback or advice that might be helpful! She really does seem so sweet, and I feel awful that she is so frightened. I know she was used to being outside, but it's getting cold out, and the city where I live is not safe for ferals as there are a lot of dog fighting rings and ferals are used as bait. I just want to help this baby feel same and comfortable.

In her safe spot:
View attachment 403509
Hello B berry89 and beautiful panfur, and welcome to TCS! We hope you enjoy it here and find a lot of supportive friends.
So far, very good! and yes, cats do take their own time to gain confidence and join in, especially if they are feral/semi-feral. She's spayed, which is the most important thing, and health, which is excellent! You're doing everything right.
A lot of cats love interactive play with a wand-and-lure toy such as Cat Dancer or da Bird, available in most cat supply venues. You may try introducing her to this, which will help her to get more used to your presence. But I can't think of anything beyond that -- as long as she has access to good food and water, a clean box, and a comfortable place to curl up, plus window(s) to look out of, she'll need to decide when to venture out on her own. Leaving the bathroom door open is definitely a good idea, so that she can explore on her own and learn where everything/everyone is. She'll be able to listen to your voice, too, which is good.
Please keep us informed as to her progress, won't you? and we love pix here at TCS!
 

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10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
How To Get A Cat To Come Out Of Hiding? – TheCatSite Articles

It is very kind of you to help this poor little cat. TBH, you aren't doing anything wrong and reading your post makes me feel that she is coming around, just slowly. Don't let your feeling about the bathroom get in the way of realizing that you are helping this cat and this is one of the steps. She is much better off with you, safe in a room, and might even know that herself. It is just all so new to her that she is not overly responsive. She has a pillow if she wants it, so don't feel guilty about her liking of the floor.

Leaving a door open is a good idea. From your description, I am understanding that you are able to block what would be an exit to the rest of the house.....where you don't want her to go yet and find a nice inaccessible hidey hole. I have kept young cats in bathrooms for quite a while when necessary. They can be made very comfortable and above all it is safe. Bait cat vs. your bathroom? Not much of a choice.

Years ago, when I helped maintain a feral colony at my workplace, dogs did come one night and decimate the colony.....so it could happen.
 

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I have also kept kittens and young cats in bathrooms 2 locations ago, when it was really the only room available, with a lined basket, litterbox, food, water, cardboard scratcher and toys. Your sweet cat is sheltered and safe, and loved. In time, she will know this and come out of her shell. Outdoor life can be VERY traumatizing for a cat. You are being a hero for her!
 

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Inaba Churu - Cat Treats (4-Pack)

Thank you so much for helping this cat! Have you tried Churu treats or any other particularly enticing treats? What I like about Churu is that since it’s like a push-up pop you can hold the package out at a distance from your body so they can enjoy the treat without getting extremely close to you. Most cats go crazy for them, so if you can get her to eat it you can gradually bring the treat closer to your body as you feed it to her. She may eventually rub against you or you can try to gently pet her while she’s having the treat once she seems more comfortable eating it from your hand. You can start out by placing some of the Churu treat on a bowl for her to try and to get her used to the scent. If she will eat it from a bowl but not from your hand you can squeeze out some of the treat so there’s a little dollop on the end of the package and lay it down on the floor, or on a bowl, for her to lick it off the end of the package, so that she’ll get used to seeing the package and then hopefully will start eating it from your hand. Good luck with her!
 
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berry89

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Thank you everyone for the tips! I have the door open consistently now, she is still mostly staying in the bathroom and she has come out a few times cautiously if it's quiet. I do have the other end of the hallway blocked for now, as there are too many places she could hide away in the main living area where I may not be able to reach her, but the hallway gives her a little more safe space to explore. She did not eat as much during the day yesterday or this morning yet (I think she is a little more nervous with the door open), and she knocked her water bowl over last night, but she ate last night, so she is eating when she is hungry. She doesn't play with toys if I offer them, but there is one feather wand that I can tell she has been messing with a little when I'm not around. I will try the Churu treats, I don't think she will take it from me right away, but I'll try putting it in a bowl with the package like you suggested. I'm perfectly fine being patient with her and just taking this day by day, she is slow to warm but I have faith she will get there. I do appreciate the reassurance that I'm not making any glaring mistakes and I will keep you updated!
 

tarasgirl06

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Thank you everyone for the tips! I have the door open consistently now, she is still mostly staying in the bathroom and she has come out a few times cautiously if it's quiet. I do have the other end of the hallway blocked for now, as there are too many places she could hide away in the main living area where I may not be able to reach her, but the hallway gives her a little more safe space to explore. She did not eat as much during the day yesterday or this morning yet (I think she is a little more nervous with the door open), and she knocked her water bowl over last night, but she ate last night, so she is eating when she is hungry. She doesn't play with toys if I offer them, but there is one feather wand that I can tell she has been messing with a little when I'm not around. I will try the Churu treats, I don't think she will take it from me right away, but I'll try putting it in a bowl with the package like you suggested. I'm perfectly fine being patient with her and just taking this day by day, she is slow to warm but I have faith she will get there. I do appreciate the reassurance that I'm not making any glaring mistakes and I will keep you updated!
A couple of suggestions: You can buy tip-proof water bowls at just about any "pet" supply venue -- petco.com is mine.https://www.amazon.com/dp/B015QHZD08/?tag=thecatsite And to be safe, I would strongly suggest putting away toys with feathers when you are not playing with her. Any feather or small part could be swallowed and an emergency ensue. I always cat-proof any environment we are in, kind of like child-proofing. Anything that would be dangerous to a small toddler would be dangerous for cats, too, so it would have to be put away/kept out of reach.
 
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berry89

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That makes sense, I did move all of my things out of the bathroom and only left her toys, so that's all she has in there, but now I removed the toy with feathers also. Last night she seemed a little more relaxed, and she almost ate a little wet food from my hand. She sniffed it and nudged it with her nose, but stopped herself and wouldn't eat it until I put it down. This is more than she's done previously, she normally completely ignores any food I offer her. I put it down in front of her, and after some very serious contemplation, she did eat it while I sat there, she normally waits until I leave the room. Later I went back in to talk to her a bit before I went to bed. It was pretty late and I think she may have been asleep before I went in because she had her eyes half closed. I laid down on the other side of the toilet, so she was still "protected" by the toilet but she can clearly see me, it's not a big bathroom. I slow blinked at her and talked to her softly, and after a few minutes of watching me she actually closed her eyes and put her head down. She may have just been tired, and she didn't actually fall asleep because the second I got up she noticed, but she normally watches me pretty intently so it has to show some trust that she felt safe enough to close her eyes. Today, not so much yet, she would not eat in front of me, but I will spend time with her in there after work and see how we do. I am hoping she is beginning to feel more comfortable. I will have to bring her with me to my parents' house in a few weeks for the holidays (I do not have anyone who can watch her here), and I'm a little concerned that traveling with her may traumatize her again. Is there anything I can do to help prepare for that? It's just a couple hour car ride but we will be staying overnight.
 

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That makes sense, I did move all of my things out of the bathroom and only left her toys, so that's all she has in there, but now I removed the toy with feathers also. Last night she seemed a little more relaxed, and she almost ate a little wet food from my hand. She sniffed it and nudged it with her nose, but stopped herself and wouldn't eat it until I put it down. This is more than she's done previously, she normally completely ignores any food I offer her. I put it down in front of her, and after some very serious contemplation, she did eat it while I sat there, she normally waits until I leave the room. Later I went back in to talk to her a bit before I went to bed. It was pretty late and I think she may have been asleep before I went in because she had her eyes half closed. I laid down on the other side of the toilet, so she was still "protected" by the toilet but she can clearly see me, it's not a big bathroom. I slow blinked at her and talked to her softly, and after a few minutes of watching me she actually closed her eyes and put her head down. She may have just been tired, and she didn't actually fall asleep because the second I got up she noticed, but she normally watches me pretty intently so it has to show some trust that she felt safe enough to close her eyes. Today, not so much yet, she would not eat in front of me, but I will spend time with her in there after work and see how we do. I am hoping she is beginning to feel more comfortable. I will have to bring her with me to my parents' house in a few weeks for the holidays (I do not have anyone who can watch her here), and I'm a little concerned that traveling with her may traumatize her again. Is there anything I can do to help prepare for that? It's just a couple hour car ride but we will be staying overnight.
It definitely won't be any good for her to travel, then be in an unfamiliar place overnight, then travel again before she has a chance to calm down. If it's just going to be you and your parents see if they can come to your place instead, if not it would be best for her if you cancel.
 

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That makes sense, I did move all of my things out of the bathroom and only left her toys, so that's all she has in there, but now I removed the toy with feathers also. Last night she seemed a little more relaxed, and she almost ate a little wet food from my hand. She sniffed it and nudged it with her nose, but stopped herself and wouldn't eat it until I put it down. This is more than she's done previously, she normally completely ignores any food I offer her. I put it down in front of her, and after some very serious contemplation, she did eat it while I sat there, she normally waits until I leave the room. Later I went back in to talk to her a bit before I went to bed. It was pretty late and I think she may have been asleep before I went in because she had her eyes half closed. I laid down on the other side of the toilet, so she was still "protected" by the toilet but she can clearly see me, it's not a big bathroom. I slow blinked at her and talked to her softly, and after a few minutes of watching me she actually closed her eyes and put her head down. She may have just been tired, and she didn't actually fall asleep because the second I got up she noticed, but she normally watches me pretty intently so it has to show some trust that she felt safe enough to close her eyes. Today, not so much yet, she would not eat in front of me, but I will spend time with her in there after work and see how we do. I am hoping she is beginning to feel more comfortable. I will have to bring her with me to my parents' house in a few weeks for the holidays (I do not have anyone who can watch her here), and I'm a little concerned that traveling with her may traumatize her again. Is there anything I can do to help prepare for that? It's just a couple hour car ride but we will be staying overnight.
Not sure -- Talien Talien brings up some valid points, but each cat is unique in personality, wants and needs. If you are trying to get her used to a carrier, I would definitely line it with some soft bedding, towelling, foam, or other cloth, and spray it with Feliway spray. Leave it open, and put some treats in it, or food that she loves. Just let her explore it a few times without closing or moving it. Then gradually leave her in it with the door closed for a few moments. If she panics, of course, let her out! but if not, and she settles, that would be wonderful.
With wet food, sometimes a topper can help. I use dried bonito flakes, available at most cat supply venues. They LOVE them. They're natural and healthy. The Churros or other squeezable treats are very popular too, but we haven't tried them.
 

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Thank you for taking care of this beautiful house panther. Sounds like things are going well. In time she will come round and I'm sure she appreciates all you are doing for her. She just needs to get used to the sights and sounds of her new home.
 

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On tenterhooks reading this! please continue to keep us updated! talking to her really does do wonders, I think…kitties often pretend they aren’t listening to you, but I think they soak it all in: the tone of your voice, your body posture…this will take time but it’s a magic process. Thank you for saving this kittie!
 
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berry89

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So she's still mostly staying in the bathroom, behind the toilet. I'm wondering if I should try and block that spot off, but so far I haven't. She can still observe me from there, and she knows that I know where she is. I did get some of the churu treats and she is licking it off my fingers about 50% of the time now if I offer it, usually after a minute or two of coaxing and sweet talking. Sometimes she backs away and if she resists I usually place it on the plate or a spoon and she will eat it in front of me. She's eating meals in front of me if I sit in or just beyond the bathroom door, usually tries to wait me out to see if I am leaving but eventually gives in and comes out to eat, watches me between bites and then goes back to her spot. Otherwise If I'm in the bathroom, she's almost always behind the toilet. She's been tolerant of me touching her when I've needed to, I needed to put some flea medicine on her today and she was surprisingly calm, not thrilled but didn't fight me, I do think she recognizes that I'm trying to help her and not hurt her. She really is only leaving the bathroom to explore the hallway at night when I am asleep, and my concern is that since I've had the door open she seems less active. She was previously all over the bathroom when I left the door shut, now she mostly stays in that one spot. She may just need some more time, I hope as she starts to feel comfortable with me she will feel more comfortable exploring a bit. Still not interested in toys in the least, or any kind of play.

She has a carrier that has been on the ground in the hallway. I can tell she's been in it because I can see some fur in there, but I think only a few times. I put a couple treats in there last night and I saw her walk in there on the camera. Unfortunately my family cannot come here. I know it's not ideal for her, but unless it will devastate her progress I likely won't be cancelling. I will try and make it as comfortable as possible and ordered some of the Feliway spray for her carrier. As for a name, I've mostly just been calling her honey, and she seems to know when I say "hi honey" so she might be stuck with it now. Maybe not a typical black cat name, but she's so sweet :)
 

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Sounds like things are going well it does take time with semi ferrals to build trust. But I think they do release that you want to help them. It's good news that she is taking food from you 50% of the time and will tolarate you touching her. My daughter blocked off behind the loo with her boy, you'll probably find she finds another safe space, hopefully the carrier in the hallway. My daughter has had her boy a few months now and believe me your patience will be rewarded. This is my daughters boy he's blind in one eye and was terrified of everything when she took him in. As you can see from day one to bathroom pic hidden inside a bag. To now following my grandson for treats to shouting at my daughter about the birds outside. Hope honey turns into a cuddle cat too and I think that's a lovely name for a sweet girl.
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Deacon Blues

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Our adopted ferals remain a little wild. They have been in our home for a year+ We find that their wildness is a treasure, in itself…they are such unique creatures and they enrich our lives through their wildness,…
 

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Former ferals are always a little different. Every one of my present cats is a former feral and all have adapted. One has remained more shy, two are exceptionally outgoing and want to be held like babies. This little cat will find her own happy medium with you. Licking the treat is really a huge step and shows where she is on the "former feral scale." I have outdoor only ferals who have never gotten within 10 feet of me even when I am holding plates of food.
 

tarasgirl06

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So she's still mostly staying in the bathroom, behind the toilet. I'm wondering if I should try and block that spot off, but so far I haven't. She can still observe me from there, and she knows that I know where she is. I did get some of the churu treats and she is licking it off my fingers about 50% of the time now if I offer it, usually after a minute or two of coaxing and sweet talking. Sometimes she backs away and if she resists I usually place it on the plate or a spoon and she will eat it in front of me. She's eating meals in front of me if I sit in or just beyond the bathroom door, usually tries to wait me out to see if I am leaving but eventually gives in and comes out to eat, watches me between bites and then goes back to her spot. Otherwise If I'm in the bathroom, she's almost always behind the toilet. She's been tolerant of me touching her when I've needed to, I needed to put some flea medicine on her today and she was surprisingly calm, not thrilled but didn't fight me, I do think she recognizes that I'm trying to help her and not hurt her. She really is only leaving the bathroom to explore the hallway at night when I am asleep, and my concern is that since I've had the door open she seems less active. She was previously all over the bathroom when I left the door shut, now she mostly stays in that one spot. She may just need some more time, I hope as she starts to feel comfortable with me she will feel more comfortable exploring a bit. Still not interested in toys in the least, or any kind of play.

She has a carrier that has been on the ground in the hallway. I can tell she's been in it because I can see some fur in there, but I think only a few times. I put a couple treats in there last night and I saw her walk in there on the camera. Unfortunately my family cannot come here. I know it's not ideal for her, but unless it will devastate her progress I likely won't be cancelling. I will try and make it as comfortable as possible and ordered some of the Feliway spray for her carrier. As for a name, I've mostly just been calling her honey, and she seems to know when I say "hi honey" so she might be stuck with it now. Maybe not a typical black cat name, but she's so sweet :)
Personally, I would not block her safe place. She is learning to trust you and doing very well, actually! Taking away her safe place might make her reconsider. I'd let her keep that place until she no longer wants or needs it.
I'd keep up offering interactive play. She may accept it in time. Most cats can't resist the lure of "prey" and playing with someone they love.
Honey is a sweet (sorry) name for her! If it fits and she accepts it, I would keep it!
Baby Su, born feral and 17 now, has only ever truly bonded to me, though she did consider our beloved angels Tarifa and Samuda to be friends. She likes my roomie quite well, too.
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DomiEstelle

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So she's still mostly staying in the bathroom, behind the toilet. I'm wondering if I should try and block that spot off, but so far I haven't. She can still observe me from there, and she knows that I know where she is. I did get some of the churu treats and she is licking it off my fingers about 50% of the time now if I offer it, usually after a minute or two of coaxing and sweet talking. Sometimes she backs away and if she resists I usually place it on the plate or a spoon and she will eat it in front of me. She's eating meals in front of me if I sit in or just beyond the bathroom door, usually tries to wait me out to see if I am leaving but eventually gives in and comes out to eat, watches me between bites and then goes back to her spot. Otherwise If I'm in the bathroom, she's almost always behind the toilet. She's been tolerant of me touching her when I've needed to, I needed to put some flea medicine on her today and she was surprisingly calm, not thrilled but didn't fight me, I do think she recognizes that I'm trying to help her and not hurt her. She really is only leaving the bathroom to explore the hallway at night when I am asleep, and my concern is that since I've had the door open she seems less active. She was previously all over the bathroom when I left the door shut, now she mostly stays in that one spot. She may just need some more time, I hope as she starts to feel comfortable with me she will feel more comfortable exploring a bit. Still not interested in toys in the least, or any kind of play.

She has a carrier that has been on the ground in the hallway. I can tell she's been in it because I can see some fur in there, but I think only a few times. I put a couple treats in there last night and I saw her walk in there on the camera. Unfortunately my family cannot come here. I know it's not ideal for her, but unless it will devastate her progress I likely won't be cancelling. I will try and make it as comfortable as possible and ordered some of the Feliway spray for her carrier. As for a name, I've mostly just been calling her honey, and she seems to know when I say "hi honey" so she might be stuck with it now. Maybe not a typical black cat name, but she's so sweet :)
Will you only be gone 1 day? Honestly with food, water, and litter, she should be OK I'd think while you leave. Does your camera connect to your phone?

What's your idea of devastation? I have 2 semi feral sisters currently jn yhe same state as your kitty. I've been feeding them for 3months and they really trusted me outdoors. They would smell my hand when I would be putting food down, try to eat while I was putting the food down, would be my shadows, would go nuts for the laser pointer and cat nip. I never pet them or anything. But they know me.

And they are just aa terrified as yours is. I had them kennelled for 2 days then let them out. 2 steps forward and 5 bsck is what you should expect.

I 100%, under NO circumstance would ever put them through that much more trauma snd take them into a car, and then jnto ANOTHER strange home, with people I don't kniw...smells ..sounds. it will literally be so traumatizing for your cat. She isn't even comfortable and feeling safe at your home and with you. Then put her jnto a carrier (scary) put her jn a car(SCARY) snd then bring her jnto ANOTHER Strange home (triple freaking scary) Can you guarantee it will be quiet and no loud noise and no loud laughter will happen? Bc those are things that will FURTHER sca
These cats, may have had trauma jn the past. They already don't trust us. Then when they show small signs of maybe deciding to trust just a little, you go right bsck to trapping her and transporting her. Then coming Back home.
 
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berry89

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I would be gone for probably 3 days. If it were just one I wouldn't even be considering bringing her. I was gone for Thanksgiving for 1 day and she was fine, but this would be longer. I would expect some setback in her progress from this, I understand that. She would be isolated in a private bathroom as she is here, with access to only me. It is in the back of the house, away from any areas that would be loud or chaotic. The alternative would be leaving her here, and coming back one day for an hour or so to make sure she's ok. And then leaving again. But I'm not sure I can guarantee I'll be able to do that. I wouldn't be considering it if I felt like I could leave her alone here.
 
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