Very Needy Cat

Alicia88

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My Murphy baby is the neediest, loviest cat I've ever been around in my life. Usually, it's no problem and results in pictures like this:
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Yeah, totes adorbs. However, Murphy is VERY attached to me. He gets very stressed if I take a shower and leave the house before he has time to "mark" me again. Twice, we've left them alone overnight and Murphy was so stressed, he released his scent glands when we came back. Twas a smell like no other.
When I was in the hospital having this little booger, my husband still came home at night to comfort and cuddle the cats. I was gone for 2 nights. Murphy still freaked and released the scent gland when I came home. I'm having another baby in June. Any suggestions for helping Murphy to handle it better? Connor and Mickey are very lovey and snuggly, but not to the extent that Murphy is and they aren't bothered or stressed if we're not here for a short time. Murphy is just extra sensitive, I guess.
 

Krienze

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Oh, no. Poor baby. It sounds like he has some serious separation anxiety going on.

I hesitate suggesting things like lavender oil sprays because I'm not sure if that could be toxic to the cat (ask your vet maybe?)

Your vet might be able to prescribe some anxiety medication?

Sammy sometimes gets wound up when we leave, so we play relaxing cat music on our alexa for him and he sleeps mostly through it while we're gon.

Sweet picture by the way =) He looks like such a snugglebug
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi! Such a sweet pic! Have you tried any calming products? Not all work on all cats, so you might have to experiment a bit to find one that might help Murphy. Feliway products are mentioned often on this site, and another is Bach Rescue Remedy which are drops you can rub into his ear. Some members have used these to help calm a cat before a vet visit. You can also do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to look for more types.

You could also test recording your voice and playing that for him to see if it would calm him any. Perhaps, even a video - or, possibly live through something like Skype? Relaxing music, as Krienze Krienze suggested, would be another good idea to try. And, when you are gone, leave some worn, unwashed clothing of yours for him to lay on - he might find your scent soothing in your absence.
 
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fionasmom

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That is the sweetest picture of the three of you...and Murphy is an orange boy like my Jamie. I would agree that any calming product that is safe for use around your children is worth a try; however, I don't know if I think that Murphy is upset or just very stressed by your absence. If so, a product may not change his mindset that you are not around. I would proceed with all the other suggestions like music, recordings, and unwashed clothing. If need be, I would look into the anti anxiety meds to be used on occasion as it might be a great relief to him, as well as to you, to not experience what sounds like very strong separation anxiety.
 

susanm9006

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Maybe it goes with the name but my Murphy girl was the absolute neediest cat I ever had, a true Velcro cat and I loved every minute of it. Fortunately no releasing of her glands though. Does your boy love catnip? If so maybe you could distract him when you come in from being gone. If that doesn’t work, some kind of treat he likes maybe?
 
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Alicia88

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They all really love catnip. I haven't found any treats Murphy likes. He ignores them. They all love tuna, though. We give them some on special occasions. We could open up a can when we get home with baby girl.
 

susanm9006

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Since he liked catnip I would have your husband or your sitter go in before you and pour out a bunch for the cats. They mellow out quickly on it so hopefully by the time you come in he will be much calmer.
 

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I don't know if this suggestion would work, what with you expecting a new baby soon, but another cat might help. Lily has great separation anxiety because she was abandoned as a mom with five kittens. If I so much as go to another room, she cries and cries. But Mingo will sometimes go to her when she cries, and that calms her down. At least she knows she's not alone. One time Mingo left my bed and went to her in the middle of the night when she woke up in the living room and didn't know where she was. He brought her back to bed.
 
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Alicia88

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Another cat definitely isn't possible. Our lease says we can only have 2 so we already have to hide Mickey whenever maintenance or anyone is here. It's not like he's alone, though, with both Mickey and Connor here. And Murphy and Connor were littermates. They've been inseparable since birth.
 
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Alicia88

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He's just very attached to me in particular. He snuggles the whole family. He insists on pets and attention from anyone who comes into our house- even total strangers he's never met before. But he's made it clear that I'm his favorite.
 

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First congratulations on your :heartshape: baby!!!!


I would do a two prong approach.

1) medicate the cat now, every day to try to balance out your overly stressed furbaby. (? Prozac cream? It takes weeks to build up/get right dose etc. so start now.) Also at the very least it sounds like your cat needs a light sedative (if not porozac) for the days you are in the hospital & maybe a couple days later when you first bring baby home.

2) Next I would work on your cat’s separation anxiety. I would research & try at home first then get a cat behaviorist if I had to (I doubt it.)

My easily stressed clingy brat released his glands in the car once. I love having him bonded to me but I ignore him when he goes and does his thing in another room. Just to try to prevent him being overly attached. Honestly the best thing for him is his calm brother being around him, looking at him like he is nuts, when he is stressing out. ⭐Not recommending a cat for you because of new baby stress/sleep deprivation

My cuddle bug, yes he sleeps like that:
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My clingy boy’s enmities support brother 😉 AB2B2794-D22B-4493-ACB8-3D27BF60156B.jpeg
 
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Alicia88

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That's the really crazy thing. He doesn't even get that worked up over going to the vet. He's only ever gotten upset enough to release the scent glands if I've been gone overnight. Other than that, he never seems anxious or stressed. Totally calm and snuggly. And since I'm rarely ever gone, daily medication seems unnecessary.
 

Hellenww

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He's only ever gotten upset enough to release the scent glands if I've been gone overnight. Other than that, he never seems anxious or stressed
It might not be a stressed response but a super happy one. There was recently a thread and several of us have had happy gland releasers.I hope the catnip mellows him out enough that he can be a calmer happy. Cat smells when happy

Is he stressed when you're out of the house or only when you're home and he can't get to you?
 
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Alicia88

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John - my husband - said he acted just fine while I was in the hospital. He just released the scent when I walked in the door. I've never heard of cats doing it when they're super happy, but I suppose that's possible. After I got home, he was all over me - even more than usual.

And when we brought Aedan home, we banished the kitties from the bedroom at night. I wasn't worried that they'd purposely harm him, but I was concerned that they would accidentally snuggle too close to his face and suffocate him. They scratched at the door for a while but seemed more put out and annoyed with us than stressed.
 

danteshuman

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Sounds like you have fired it out, you have a love (stink) bug!!!!!!! I grew up with a giant snuggly cat as a small kid & he added so much to my life!!! Your kid(s) are extremely lucky to have your cuddly doting 🐈 in their lives as they grow up!!!

The good news it isn’t separation anxiety! (which can be very serious and cause health problems from stress.)

My kitty’s bff/brother was getting snuggly so I lightly scratched the base of his tail for a few minutes when he released his stinky but juice of death! M 🤣🤢😹 We thought it might be because he had recently had half his tail amputated and possible light nerve damage. To hear he was super happy was a relief!!! Luckily he has yet to do it again. I only give him quick tail end scratches now 😉
 
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