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I couldnt sleep last night. Kept thinking about things. I was remembering my mom how she told me never to wait for someone to help me out. I always asked her why it didnt upset her that her kids didnt help her more. My oldest brother always made sure his mother in law had a working car. But my mom and i were stuck sharing one car that kept leaving us stranded out in the hot miami sun. She told me she didnt expect anyone to help her that she had to figure things out on her own.
I've had so many family members promise help and end up failing me. My last home belongs to the youngest of my older brothers, he swore to my mother that i would always be welcome there. He promised to help me until i got on my feet. But we ended up fighting and i left. Then my sister swore i could move in, and get on my feet. Then she ends up avoiding work for 2 years. At first it made sense because she was grieving the loss of her husband, but then she ran away and married another guy after a year of her husband passing. At this point she just doesnt want any responsibility. Like my mom said, my sister lives in the clouds.
My middle oldest brother has rental properties and i asked him for help months ago, and he was just insistent that i stay with my sister. He makes a lot of money on his properties, and by breeding cats from home.
Now my oldest brother is offering help. It just feels like i'm meant to face another disappointment. I would love to be able to stand on my own, and not have to depend on anyones kindness. I just stayed up most of the night worrying about things. Thinking about the house i am in that is in both foreclosure and has a lien on it. Worrying because i want my cats to live someone comfortable. Where they have to be nervous moving around because my niece cant control her child.
With everything going on, including my health issues, i just feel tired.
I've had so many family members promise help and end up failing me. My last home belongs to the youngest of my older brothers, he swore to my mother that i would always be welcome there. He promised to help me until i got on my feet. But we ended up fighting and i left. Then my sister swore i could move in, and get on my feet. Then she ends up avoiding work for 2 years. At first it made sense because she was grieving the loss of her husband, but then she ran away and married another guy after a year of her husband passing. At this point she just doesnt want any responsibility. Like my mom said, my sister lives in the clouds.
My middle oldest brother has rental properties and i asked him for help months ago, and he was just insistent that i stay with my sister. He makes a lot of money on his properties, and by breeding cats from home.
Now my oldest brother is offering help. It just feels like i'm meant to face another disappointment. I would love to be able to stand on my own, and not have to depend on anyones kindness. I just stayed up most of the night worrying about things. Thinking about the house i am in that is in both foreclosure and has a lien on it. Worrying because i want my cats to live someone comfortable. Where they have to be nervous moving around because my niece cant control her child.
With everything going on, including my health issues, i just feel tired.