- Mar 23, 2012
- Reaction score
As an adult i do understand that some people dont find it easy to express themselves. I was very angry with my father for a very long time. It really affected me to see my mother forgive him for everything he put her through. I'm just sad that she had to pass away for him to apologize to her.Your story about your father touched some deep chords. We do not always know what others are feeling. In fact, we never do unless they tell us. Many people, particularly males in many cultures but I guess, also people like me who are "on the spectrum" do not necessary wear hearts on sleeves. But the feelings are there. And sometimes we hide them from ourselves until something catastrophic happens to bring them to the forefront.
Kids really bear the brunt of all that has come before. They are all blank slates at birth and though there are some who are clinically mentally ill, most are not -- they take in all around them and are informed by everything they see, hear, and feel. IMHO it is the most important job there is -- raising kids. If a person is not prepared to give their all to it, they really should not do it IMHO. This is why I chose not to and made sure I would not be faced with that job. Each generation inherits everything from everyone before them, and will be tasked with making decisions that affect all around them. Failing to do the very best for them, to prepare them for that, is a terrible failure, I believe. I could not take that on, and I certainly give big props to all who put their best into the job.
As a child it is harder to understand why adults arent emotionally available. Kids wear their hearts on their sleeves. I know im not a mom, but i know what its like to raise a child and the incredible responsibility that carries. I might not live with my niece anymore, but i still feel responsible for her. I don't think that will ever go away.
It always astounds me how kids are always listening and learning. Even when they seem distracted and are playing. I had to learn fast to think before i said anything in front of Abby. She has never heard me put her down, or even put myself down. I have never mentioned weight issues, or any of my insecurities in front of her.
I am very grateful that her mom is open enough to listen to my advice. She might not always do what i suggest, but she always listens. Abby always talks to me and i can catch things before they become an issue.
I am so glad that we now have the choice whether or not we want to become parents. It always bugs me when people have children for selfish reasons. To save a marriage, or because it's what they think is expected of them. The children end up miserable and become miserable adults. I agree with you, raising kids is the most important job there is, and the jobs that involve helping children.