Venting....

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terestrife

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Your story about your father touched some deep chords. We do not always know what others are feeling. In fact, we never do unless they tell us. Many people, particularly males in many cultures but I guess, also people like me who are "on the spectrum" do not necessary wear hearts on sleeves. But the feelings are there. And sometimes we hide them from ourselves until something catastrophic happens to bring them to the forefront.
Kids really bear the brunt of all that has come before. They are all blank slates at birth and though there are some who are clinically mentally ill, most are not -- they take in all around them and are informed by everything they see, hear, and feel. IMHO it is the most important job there is -- raising kids. If a person is not prepared to give their all to it, they really should not do it IMHO. This is why I chose not to and made sure I would not be faced with that job. Each generation inherits everything from everyone before them, and will be tasked with making decisions that affect all around them. Failing to do the very best for them, to prepare them for that, is a terrible failure, I believe. I could not take that on, and I certainly give big props to all who put their best into the job.
As an adult i do understand that some people dont find it easy to express themselves. I was very angry with my father for a very long time. It really affected me to see my mother forgive him for everything he put her through. I'm just sad that she had to pass away for him to apologize to her.

As a child it is harder to understand why adults arent emotionally available. Kids wear their hearts on their sleeves. I know im not a mom, but i know what its like to raise a child and the incredible responsibility that carries. I might not live with my niece anymore, but i still feel responsible for her. I don't think that will ever go away.

It always astounds me how kids are always listening and learning. Even when they seem distracted and are playing. I had to learn fast to think before i said anything in front of Abby. She has never heard me put her down, or even put myself down. I have never mentioned weight issues, or any of my insecurities in front of her.

I am very grateful that her mom is open enough to listen to my advice. She might not always do what i suggest, but she always listens. Abby always talks to me and i can catch things before they become an issue.

I am so glad that we now have the choice whether or not we want to become parents. It always bugs me when people have children for selfish reasons. To save a marriage, or because it's what they think is expected of them. The children end up miserable and become miserable adults. I agree with you, raising kids is the most important job there is, and the jobs that involve helping children. :heartshape:
 

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As an adult i do understand that some people dont find it easy to express themselves. I was very angry with my father for a very long time. It really affected me to see my mother forgive him for everything he put her through. I'm just sad that she had to pass away for him to apologize to her.

As a child it is harder to understand why adults arent emotionally available. Kids wear their hearts on their sleeves. I know im not a mom, but i know what its like to raise a child and the incredible responsibility that carries. I might not live with my niece anymore, but i still feel responsible for her. I don't think that will ever go away.

It always astounds me how kids are always listening and learning. Even when they seem distracted and are playing. I had to learn fast to think before i said anything in front of Abby. She has never heard me put her down, or even put myself down. I have never mentioned weight issues, or any of my insecurities in front of her.

I am very grateful that her mom is open enough to listen to my advice. She might not always do what i suggest, but she always listens. Abby always talks to me and i can catch things before they become an issue.

I am so glad that we now have the choice whether or not we want to become parents. It always bugs me when people have children for selfish reasons. To save a marriage, or because it's what they think is expected of them. The children end up miserable and become miserable adults. I agree with you, raising kids is the most important job there is, and the jobs that involve helping children. :heartshape:
I saw or heard that about 40% of kids are mistakes -- meaning they are not planned for. I'd say that's on the low side. But yes, many of us, though far from all, have the ability to make choices over whether or not to have kids. All my life, I've wished that only those that are wanted, by people who are able to support them and care for them, would come into this world. This world would be a very, very different place if that was so.
You did a wonderful thing by not putting Abby OR yourself down in front of her. Yes! Kids hear everything. And because they are not able to process everything through adult intelligence (as neither are we, but that's another story) it is CRITICAL for adults to deal with them as you have. Slights follow kids around all their lives. They can create huge problems, for the kids and sometimes for the world.
If only people would be careful!
 
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terestrife

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I saw or heard that about 40% of kids are mistakes -- meaning they are not planned for. I'd say that's on the low side. But yes, many of us, though far from all, have the ability to make choices over whether or not to have kids. All my life, I've wished that only those that are wanted, by people who are able to support them and care for them, would come into this world. This world would be a very, very different place if that was so.
You did a wonderful thing by not putting Abby OR yourself down in front of her. Yes! Kids hear everything. And because they are not able to process everything through adult intelligence (as neither are we, but that's another story) it is CRITICAL for adults to deal with them as you have. Slights follow kids around all their lives. They can create huge problems, for the kids and sometimes for the world.
If only people would be careful!
There are still people that believe they have no control over their own bodies. My niece isnt on BC and says that her second pregnancy (she miscarried sadly) was an accident. I dont know how people can say that with all the options out there for both men and women.

I was downstairs when my niece was talking to her mom. And my sister still seems to believe she will magically create some business and make a lot of money. Seems shes no longer looking for work. I heard her saying that she doesnt want her husband paying bills here otherwise he might think he owns the house. :stars: We're falling behind on utilities and they're planning a trip to disney world. :censored: I hear them both talking about junk they are buying online, and no one seems concerned about the mess we are in. Im just glad shes finally helping.

I know its my anger speaking, but i caught myself hoping my niece would be stuck in a house where people do everything to make her uncomfortable. I force myself to wake up early so i can do stuff without having to keep an eye out for her son. He tends to follow me. lol And then he starts annoying the cats.

And i can have breakfast without her blasting the TV. Now shes waking up early too and she got pissed when i turned off the TV when she went upstairs. She has that TV blasting all day even though i have asked her to shut it off to save on electricity. She sees me watching youtube on my phone and still turns the TV back on. She seems to think the universe revolves around her. She says the stuff i watch on the phone annoys her... When im always using headphones because shes blasting the TV and i cant listen to what i want.

My niece is one of the most self absorbed people i have ever met in my life. Shes the kind of person that will be the nicest person to you so long as you let her have her way. She becomes a complete witch when you go against her. I have to put on a nice face to her otherwise she starts giving attitude to the cats. Can you believe someone that childish can be 30 yo?

Its frustrating, i cant even spend time with my cats anymore. Her son is downstairs all the time (except for nap times) if i make the mistake to go see the cats, he follows me and starts harassing them.

I wish we had turns in the kitchen the way that you do in your house. But with her having a kid, shes downstairs 24/7. Which is funny, shes downstairs all day and the kitchen in a pigsty.
 

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There are still people that believe they have no control over their own bodies. My niece isnt on BC and says that her second pregnancy (she miscarried sadly) was an accident. I dont know how people can say that with all the options out there for both men and women.

I was downstairs when my niece was talking to her mom. And my sister still seems to believe she will magically create some business and make a lot of money. Seems shes no longer looking for work. I heard her saying that she doesnt want her husband paying bills here otherwise he might think he owns the house. :stars: We're falling behind on utilities and they're planning a trip to disney world. :censored: I hear them both talking about junk they are buying online, and no one seems concerned about the mess we are in. Im just glad shes finally helping.

I know its my anger speaking, but i caught myself hoping my niece would be stuck in a house where people do everything to make her uncomfortable. I force myself to wake up early so i can do stuff without having to keep an eye out for her son. He tends to follow me. lol And then he starts annoying the cats.

And i can have breakfast without her blasting the TV. Now shes waking up early too and she got pissed when i turned off the TV when she went upstairs. She has that TV blasting all day even though i have asked her to shut it off to save on electricity. She sees me watching youtube on my phone and still turns the TV back on. She seems to think the universe revolves around her. She says the stuff i watch on the phone annoys her... When im always using headphones because shes blasting the TV and i cant listen to what i want.

My niece is one of the most self absorbed people i have ever met in my life. Shes the kind of person that will be the nicest person to you so long as you let her have her way. She becomes a complete witch when you go against her. I have to put on a nice face to her otherwise she starts giving attitude to the cats. Can you believe someone that childish can be 30 yo?

Its frustrating, i cant even spend time with my cats anymore. Her son is downstairs all the time (except for nap times) if i make the mistake to go see the cats, he follows me and starts harassing them.

I wish we had turns in the kitchen the way that you do in your house. But with her having a kid, shes downstairs 24/7. Which is funny, shes downstairs all day and the kitchen in a pigsty.
Sounds like it's time for some tough love. If it was me I'd sit her down and explain in detail exactly what problems her BS is causing, and make sure she knows how much it is not appreciated, especially having to clean up after her.
 

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BIG props to Talien Talien .
Well, I do have to say that I'm a strategist, a realist, and a planner -- it's the way I'm wired, and my dad was very much like this as well -- and when my roomie accepted my offer, I was thrown into a sort of crisis mode, the way people are when facing a huge change in their lives. How do three people and three cat co-exist harmoniously? The main areas of contention were the kitchen and the bathroom. I only had one working toilet at the time, so I talked to my roomie about this and he not only knew a VERY good plumber, he agreed to go in half on the toilet when I'd found one that I thought would work, and fit, in that tiny room. As for the kitchen, it's normal size, but a galley kitchen, which means long and narrow, so two people cannot work in it at the same time. We basically have three very different diets! but my roomie will make two different things to feed herself and her husband. I'm really easy -- whatever's quick and edible by me is okay. I can eat the same things day after day (and I do, for breakfast, and for lunch, unless I'm sick) and my cleanup is pretty fast. Feeding my cats ALWAYS happens before feeding myself. That's three times a day. So, yeah, we have to schedule. They wanted to change theirs a couple of times, so we worked that out. People can do this. They have to want to, and they have to honor that plan and have consideration for the others who live with them. It's not hard. In fact, it's easier than having no plan and living in chaos, which wouldn't work with me at all.
 
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terestrife

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Sounds like it's time for some tough love. If it was me I'd sit her down and explain in detail exactly what problems her BS is causing, and make sure she knows how much it is not appreciated, especially having to clean up after her.
Talking to her is useless. To give an example. She has a dog full of fleas\ticks, in a hot garage. In miami heat, with a cheap fan to cool him down (and the windows open.) Everyone has recommended she give the dog up, she refuses. Shes spending money on buying fancy $30 outfits for her son, but she cant be bothered to buy flea medicine for her dog. On the same day she told me she didnt have money to get flea medicine, she bought herself a dress, and a kimono at target. The price of a flea medicine.

The point of me saying that, is when people try to tell her what to do, she will do the opposite. Or think of herself first before other people. I have tried talking to her about things she does that bother me and she gets an attitude and starts ignoring me, and being annoyed with the cats. If i act nice and fake with her shes easy to get along with, and she'll even look after the cats.


BIG props to Talien Talien .
Well, I do have to say that I'm a strategist, a realist, and a planner -- it's the way I'm wired, and my dad was very much like this as well -- and when my roomie accepted my offer, I was thrown into a sort of crisis mode, the way people are when facing a huge change in their lives. How do three people and three cat co-exist harmoniously? The main areas of contention were the kitchen and the bathroom. I only had one working toilet at the time, so I talked to my roomie about this and he not only knew a VERY good plumber, he agreed to go in half on the toilet when I'd found one that I thought would work, and fit, in that tiny room. As for the kitchen, it's normal size, but a galley kitchen, which means long and narrow, so two people cannot work in it at the same time. We basically have three very different diets! but my roomie will make two different things to feed herself and her husband. I'm really easy -- whatever's quick and edible by me is okay. I can eat the same things day after day (and I do, for breakfast, and for lunch, unless I'm sick) and my cleanup is pretty fast. Feeding my cats ALWAYS happens before feeding myself. That's three times a day. So, yeah, we have to schedule. They wanted to change theirs a couple of times, so we worked that out. People can do this. They have to want to, and they have to honor that plan and have consideration for the others who live with them. It's not hard. In fact, it's easier than having no plan and living in chaos, which wouldn't work with me at all.
You've been very blessed with the roommates you have. I am very grateful you all found each other. I have lived with other people all my life and its always been chaos. The petty silly arguments, and the tension. I learned that being insincere is the only way to get along with people. Putting on a nice act. People dont like being told what to do. I have to go through my sister to get my niece to listen.

I recently asked my niece nicely to help me out with turning off lights and devices as the electricity was higher, she seemed nice and agreeable.... The TV is on all day long. I have to treat her like a little girl and ask my sister to step in. People only listen to the owner of a home.
 

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Talking to her is useless. To give an example. She has a dog full of fleas\ticks, in a hot garage. In miami heat, with a cheap fan to cool him down (and the windows open.) Everyone has recommended she give the dog up, she refuses. Shes spending money on buying fancy $30 outfits for her son, but she cant be bothered to buy flea medicine for her dog. On the same day she told me she didnt have money to get flea medicine, she bought herself a dress, and a kimono at target. The price of a flea medicine.

The point of me saying that, is when people try to tell her what to do, she will do the opposite. Or think of herself first before other people. I have tried talking to her about things she does that bother me and she gets an attitude and starts ignoring me, and being annoyed with the cats. If i act nice and fake with her shes easy to get along with, and she'll even look after the cats.




You've been very blessed with the roommates you have. I am very grateful you all found each other. I have lived with other people all my life and its always been chaos. The petty silly arguments, and the tension. I learned that being insincere is the only way to get along with people. Putting on a nice act. People dont like being told what to do. I have to go through my sister to get my niece to listen.

I recently asked my niece nicely to help me out with turning off lights and devices as the electricity was higher, she seemed nice and agreeable.... The TV is on all day long. I have to treat her like a little girl and ask my sister to step in. People only listen to the owner of a home.
Yeah on all of the above, almost all of the time, unfortunately. But that won't stop me throwing out ideas. If one of them works, great. If not...??? because giving up isn't possible, is it? When you have loved ones who depend on you, you can't do that. But I know. I lived for years with an abusive relationship because my loved ones were everything to me, and he made it possible for us to have a very nice lifestyle. We need to be resilient and resourceful all the time. I know it's so draining living in a situation like that, but always know your cats love you unconditionally and need you.
 

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Talking to her is useless. To give an example. She has a dog full of fleas\ticks, in a hot garage. In miami heat, with a cheap fan to cool him down (and the windows open.) Everyone has recommended she give the dog up, she refuses. Shes spending money on buying fancy $30 outfits for her son, but she cant be bothered to buy flea medicine for her dog. On the same day she told me she didnt have money to get flea medicine, she bought herself a dress, and a kimono at target. The price of a flea medicine.

The point of me saying that, is when people try to tell her what to do, she will do the opposite. Or think of herself first before other people. I have tried talking to her about things she does that bother me and she gets an attitude and starts ignoring me, and being annoyed with the cats. If i act nice and fake with her shes easy to get along with, and she'll even look after the cats.
Yeah, it's too bad she doesn't actually care about her Dog. If the Dog is in the garage every day that's no life, and he could actually die from the heat plus fleas. Open windows won't do much good if it's 90+ degrees outside. That's animal cruelty.
 

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Yeah, it's too bad she doesn't actually care about her Dog. If the Dog is in the garage every day that's no life, and he could actually die from the heat plus fleas. Open windows won't do much good if it's 90+ degrees outside. That's animal cruelty.
YES. My cats are my FIRST priority. They are fed, watered and cleaned for before me. EVERY day. EVERY night, I clean for them and make sure they have plenty of fresh water and adequate food for overnight. That's what you do when you love someone. I am so fortunate to have had parents who did that for me and our cats and taught me personal responsibility. I couldn't live any other way. And I'm not a dog person but it breaks my heart reading about that dog. That dog should be in the care of someone who will love him and treat him well.
 
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e loved ones who depend on you, you can't do that. But I know. I lived for years with an abusive relationship because my loved ones were everything to me, and he made it possible for us to have a very nice lifestyle. We need to be resilient and resourceful all the time. I know it's so draining living in a situation like that, but always know your cats love you unconditionally and need you.
Dont worry, i havent give up. I just focus on making things work with the least hassle possible. I noticed when i stopped overly correcting my nephew. My niece seemed more interested in teaching him to stop bothering the cats. She was so annoyed with me correcting him that she would get annoyed with the cats. Now that i only step in when its necessary shes stepped up in protecting the cats.

Its like i have to find work arounds to make this living situation easier. And you're right its important to stay resilient and resourceful. Trying to lessen the stress in the house, as its not good to be so stressed all the time.

You're a strong woman, most people that have been in your situation only remember the bad. You always mention that your ex made it possible for you to have a nice lifestyle. Some people cant see the good, because of the overwhelming bad. I cant imagine being in a situation like that. I am happy your living situation now is more positive. :heartshape: I would love to have your more positive outlook to life.

Yeah, it's too bad she doesn't actually care about her Dog. If the Dog is in the garage every day that's no life, and he could actually die from the heat plus fleas. Open windows won't do much good if it's 90+ degrees outside. That's animal cruelty.
Believe me, i know that. I have warned her of dogs dying of heat stroke, especially in Miami heat. I have told her the garage is hot.

Her own BF told her to her face that shes abusing the dog. She kept yelling at him to shut up, and tried to slap his head... Ended up scratching her childs face instead, and now he has a scar. :frustrated:She becomes blinded when shes angry, and wont listen to anyone. Its why i avoid confronting her anymore, it just leads to ugly situations.



YES. My cats are my FIRST priority. They are fed, watered and cleaned for before me. EVERY day. EVERY night, I clean for them and make sure they have plenty of fresh water and adequate food for overnight. That's what you do when you love someone. I am so fortunate to have had parents who did that for me and our cats and taught me personal responsibility. I couldn't live any other way. And I'm not a dog person but it breaks my heart reading about that dog. That dog should be in the care of someone who will love him and treat him well.
I do the same. lol i even lecture them that they are lucky to have me. That they get their breakfast before i do. And yet they are still demanding. :lol: Even when i am in pain i clean up their litter mess, which drives me crazy. lol Have to vacuum twice a day. Whenever i am paid i always get their stuff first. Instead of taking a 2 year old to disney, she should save up to get the dog to the vet, and get him flea medicine.

Rehoming him will be very difficult. When he is scared he will scratch and ruin doors. He has had a spraying issues thats been ongoing for years. Huge puddles of pee. He pees on every furniture he can. We had to deep clean the house because his pee wasnt lifting from the grout.

It doesnt matter if you walk him, he will still pee and sometimes poo in the house. Hes a very finicky dog, and my mom was the only one that really liked him. lol
 
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terestrife

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I'm fully aware I may be stepping in something here, but I'm going to say it anyway. Have you considered making an anonymous animal cruelty report?
Its crossed my mind. But i worry that she'll wonder how anyone outside the house would know. I dont want her knowing it was me. I dont want to risk her getting angry and doing something to the cats. I dont know if shes capable of that at this point.

Plus, im worried they will automatically put him down. Who will adopt a very old dog that pees all over the furniture?
 

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Its crossed my mind. But i worry that she'll wonder how anyone outside the house would know. I dont want her knowing it was me. I dont want to risk her getting angry and doing something to the cats. I dont know if shes capable of that at this point.

Plus, im worried they will automatically put him down. Who will adopt a very old dog that pees all over the furniture?
Yeah, that's what I meant by stepping in something. Does he bark much? If so then it's entirely possible a neighbor would notice, especially if he's rarely or never let out.

There are people who adopt or foster older animals so they can take give them a good life for whatever time they have left, and it's Florida so it's entirely possible he could live in an outdoor enclosure where peeing on things isn't an issue.

And being euthanized is a possibility, but.....is that really any worse than how he's being treated?
 

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terestrife terestrife You're absolutely right on trying workarounds and limiting stress. Stress impacts animals worse, especially cats, who are more sensitive physically and emotionally than humans. I do this even in our pretty harmonious household, because sometimes my roomie(s) get lax about stuff and I have to talk to her/him/them. I'm NOT good at this and loathe doing it, but I can't let things go because once you start, it goes downhill. Same with living with my exes. All of them. Each of them. I'm really better off on my own with my cats, but in these times, I am SO grateful for my roomies. They are far more "pros" than "cons" for me and I really believe I'd be a puddle of pity (self) right now if they weren't here. "Strong"? IDK about that. It's a matter of "have to" here. When Ex #3 told me he was dumping us, I knew lives were at stake and I knew I was far from strong. So I just had to learn a lot quickly and get over my shyness and reluctance to deal with difficult situations. Because it wasn't only me that would suffer otherwise. And I couldn't risk that.
I wish your sister's dog could just "disappear" into the care of, say, Best Friends or some other reputable, caring organization that does deal with older, problem dogs. BFAS does incredible work with just these kinds of dogs, and cats, and other animals; and people in the know, know to look to them first when wanting to adopt a special-needs/older animal. If you look at their blogs, you'll be able to read story after story of animals who've been rehabbed and adopted by people who truly love them. They work in cooperation with over 200 affiliated shelters all over the country.FAQs
As for seeing the bright side, there usually IS one just about everywhere. There was even a poem written by someone in a death camp in WWII that said 'I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.' A Poem of Belief by a Jewish Prisoner in a Nazi Concentration Camp
For me, it's usually either riches of a personal nature (happiness, love) or of a physical nature (material things, lifestyle quality) but not often both at one time. I'd choose the former over the latter if I had to, but the former without the latter is very hard, as you know. Thanks to my parents, I am now fortunate enough to have both, and I work hard to hold onto them. Sharing with others in need is part of that.
 
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terestrife

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Yeah, that's what I meant by stepping in something. Does he bark much? If so then it's entirely possible a neighbor would notice, especially if he's rarely or never let out.

There are people who adopt or foster older animals so they can take give them a good life for whatever time they have left, and it's Florida so it's entirely possible he could live in an outdoor enclosure where peeing on things isn't an issue.

And being euthanized is a possibility, but.....is that really any worse than how he's being treated?
He mostly makes a whining noise when he is afraid. I have been hopeful that my sister would take him. Last time she was here she was going to take him, but he was badly full of fleas and she couldnt put him in her car like that. My niece is still buying junk in amazon for her son, and hasnt bought the dog flea medicine. I will look around at organizations around me to see what the options are.

When i first moved here i had pushed for them to enclose a part of the yard for him, and the porch, but nothing has happened so far. :frown:

terestrife terestrife You're absolutely right on trying workarounds and limiting stress. Stress impacts animals worse, especially cats, who are more sensitive physically and emotionally than humans. I do this even in our pretty harmonious household, because sometimes my roomie(s) get lax about stuff and I have to talk to her/him/them. I'm NOT good at this and loathe doing it, but I can't let things go because once you start, it goes downhill. Same with living with my exes. All of them. Each of them. I'm really better off on my own with my cats, but in these times, I am SO grateful for my roomies. They are far more "pros" than "cons" for me and I really believe I'd be a puddle of pity (self) right now if they weren't here. "Strong"? IDK about that. It's a matter of "have to" here. When Ex #3 told me he was dumping us, I knew lives were at stake and I knew I was far from strong. So I just had to learn a lot quickly and get over my shyness and reluctance to deal with difficult situations. Because it wasn't only me that would suffer otherwise. And I couldn't risk that.
I wish your sister's dog could just "disappear" into the care of, say, Best Friends or some other reputable, caring organization that does deal with older, problem dogs. BFAS does incredible work with just these kinds of dogs, and cats, and other animals; and people in the know, know to look to them first when wanting to adopt a special-needs/older animal. If you look at their blogs, you'll be able to read story after story of animals who've been rehabbed and adopted by people who truly love them. They work in cooperation with over 200 affiliated shelters all over the country.FAQs
As for seeing the bright side, there usually IS one just about everywhere. There was even a poem written by someone in a death camp in WWII that said 'I believe in the sun, even when it is not shining.' A Poem of Belief by a Jewish Prisoner in a Nazi Concentration Camp
For me, it's usually either riches of a personal nature (happiness, love) or of a physical nature (material things, lifestyle quality) but not often both at one time. I'd choose the former over the latter if I had to, but the former without the latter is very hard, as you know. Thanks to my parents, I am now fortunate enough to have both, and I work hard to hold onto them. Sharing with others in need is part of that.
I know what you mean, i hate having to tell people what to do. Its like living with children. I dont need anyone to remind me to clean up the messes i make. So it annoys me when i see people leaving crumbs and dirty plates sometimes overnight. I couldnt take being in your situation and having to remind people to do things. I would be much more at peace living alone. But i can understand wanting the companionship. I think people able to adapt and move forward in difficult times is definitely a sign of strength. :heartshape: Change can really tear down most people.

Thanks for the link, i will look into the organization. My sister commented last time that she was interested in taking the dog. I dont know if she will, but i am hopeful. I will try talking to her.

What a beautiful poem. It shows there is hope, even in such a terrible and hopeless situation. My sister seems to believe our family has jewish ancestors. She seems to think they escaped to Cuba for safety. Whenever she would ask older family members they wouldnt want to respond.

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I don’t know if I have lost any weight. But I am physically feeling great. My back pain has improved. I don’t know if it’s the walking, or the antioxidant I am taking that improves nerve damage.

But this past week I have been more active. Its just simple things that I used to do without thinking. I cleared out my closet. I got a new drawer to organize stuff and built it myself. I am getting rid of excess stuff from my bedroom so I can feel more comfortable.

I bug sprayed the house. My niece is trying to hire a professional and I want to avoid taking my cats out of the house. Lol

I gave a good cleaning to my cats area. Which by the way, bad news. My nephew figured out he can fit through the opening that the cats go through. So now their area isn’t as safe as it used to be, which is frustrating. :frustrated:

Most important of all, I deep cleaned my cats litter robot. I had been managing it by wiping it down using an enzymatic spray. I hated doing that, as I like taking it outside and giving it a good cleaning often with the hose and cleaning products. Dumping out the litter and putting new. I’ve been in so much pain that I wasn’t able to do that for months. I know that sounds awful. :frown:

I feel so much stronger. I know this all makes me sound pathetic, as its simple things most people can do. But I felt so physically drained for so long, and im finally starting to feel like my old self again.
 

Talien

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He mostly makes a whining noise when he is afraid. I have been hopeful that my sister would take him. Last time she was here she was going to take him, but he was badly full of fleas and she couldnt put him in her car like that. My niece is still buying junk in amazon for her son, and hasnt bought the dog flea medicine. I will look around at organizations around me to see what the options are.

When i first moved here i had pushed for them to enclose a part of the yard for him, and the porch, but nothing has happened so far. :frown:
Does the Dog let you pet him? If so, you could dust him with DE to thin out the Fleas, and when they've started dying off you could rub it into his fur to get at the ones hiding closer to his skin. After that a bath will clean everything off. Or just ask your sister to get a topical flea medication (or get it yourself) and administer that.

The garage would have to be sprayed/fumigated too since he's in it a lot of the time, it's going to be infested.
 
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terestrife

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Does the Dog let you pet him? If so, you could dust him with DE to thin out the Fleas, and when they've started dying off you could rub it into his fur to get at the ones hiding closer to his skin. After that a bath will clean everything off. Or just ask your sister to get a topical flea medication (or get it yourself) and administer that.

The garage would have to be sprayed/fumigated too since he's in it a lot of the time, it's going to be infested.
Trust me i know, i plan on spraying it this weekend. i'll try the DE on him. Hopefully it helps. :frown: I am not sure if they will bother buying him flea medicine. My nieces BF has been to the hospital twice in the past week. They dont know whats wrong with him. Just that he is having kidney issues. They are looking for a specialist for him. He hasnt been able to work this past week and they told him to take a week off. Money will be tight for them for a while.

I used to buy his flea medicine but i need my niece to take responsibility for her own dog. Plus, for some reason flea medicines dont seem to work on him anymore. Frontline and Advantix dont make a difference anymore.
 

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Your sister can get some Capstar to give to the dog before she takes him anywhere. It'll kill whatever fleas are on him at the time, sure it only lasts 24 hours but if she's taking him somewhere else that should be enough.

It's alarmingly satisfying (and disgusting) to give a Capstar to an infested animal and then watch the fleas just start falling off. . .
 

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Right, Talien Talien . And yes, once you get the fleas eradicated with a topical (PLEASE do not get Bravecto. It is extremely dangerous. You can google that. Also anything Hartz makes.) and keep administering it as directed, you should not have a flea problem. You can "bomb" the garage (without him in it!) and then all should be well on that front. It's not only crucial for him, it's crucial for all of you. Fleas carry diseases. Advantage is my trusted brand. They have a dog version too.
Can you put something over the area so that your nephew cannot access? Also, crucial.
Yes, I've read that there was Jewish emigration to Cuba, and all around the "Americas" in part because the US was turning Jewish people from Europe back in the aftermath of WWII. You can also google that shameful and unforgivable topic.
Good on you for the cleaning! And in no way should you be ashamed or feel "weak". You are doing the best you can. That is all anyone on this earth can do.
 
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Talien

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Trust me i know, i plan on spraying it this weekend. i'll try the DE on him. Hopefully it helps. :frown: I am not sure if they will bother buying him flea medicine. My nieces BF has been to the hospital twice in the past week. They dont know whats wrong with him. Just that he is having kidney issues. They are looking for a specialist for him. He hasnt been able to work this past week and they told him to take a week off. Money will be tight for them for a while.

I used to buy his flea medicine but i need my niece to take responsibility for her own dog. Plus, for some reason flea medicines dont seem to work on him anymore. Frontline and Advantix dont make a difference anymore.
That happens sometimes if a particular flea treatment is overused by people in an area, the flea population builds up a resistance to it. I remember hearing about that from someone else I know who lives in Florida and a few other people here who live in florida have posted that those brands have stopped working for them. Revolution should still work, and like Willowy mentioned Capstar should work too.

Do you think you'd be able to light a fire under your sister about it? Fleas will start going after people too when they multiply enough, so everyone in that house is a food source for them.
 
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