Venting....

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terestrife

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Yeah, it did happen really fast. But she probably doesn't want to pass up the chance, since he seems so great. If I were her, I probably would want to do the same thing, but slower.
i get that. :loveeyes::redheartpump: all i can do is wish her well. my sister has always told me shes afraid to be alone. hopefully this marriage will be the right one. :bouquet:
 
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terestrife

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Does anyone know if it's normal for people in love to be so absorbed by their partner that they ignore family. My sister tends to ignore texts she gets. She'll sometimes respond but not always. I don't hear from her for days and she sends me a silly text commenting that her husband mentioned me during the wedding video because he knows she loves me. Not sure what she was talking about.

I sent her a text that I'm going to have to get an endoscopy to figure out a digestive issue I'm having and two days later, no response. And yet the same day she's responding in the family chat. I can see she saw my text and then didn't answer.

Do people in love do this? It's not just me she's ignoring.

My mom once told me that my sister tends to see herself as Alice in wonderland, I never understood what she meant until now.

I don't have much experience with love so maybe I'm missing something.

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I don't know if I should talk to my sister about her possibly renting out my room. I have the feeling Bill's are going to come in and she expects us to deal with it. I want to save up to move out. I'm willing to give up my room if it means I can save up money.

I don't like the thought of a stranger being here, but I need the money.
 
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maggiedemi

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Where will you sleep if you rent out your room? Yes, people are like that when they first fall in love. They are totally absorbed in each other and floating on clouds. She'll come back down. :) I would just send her another text and ask her if she read the first one. She'll get the hint.
 
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Where will you sleep if you rent out your room? Yes, people are like that when they first fall in love. They are totally absorbed in each other and floating on clouds. She'll come back down. :) I would just send her another text and ask her if she read the first one. She'll get the hint.
I was thinking of sleeping in the living room. I Just worry about the cats and most of all my baby nephew. I'm not sure I like the thought of a stranger here. But my sister is in the clouds. I don't know if I should pay part of the bills here and try my best to save up.


Love makes people act all kind of different ways. She'll probably come back down from her love high soon.
It's just weird. She ignored me. Then puts in the family chat that her daughter hasn't called her. :confused2: so she's not in such a blind high.
 
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terestrife

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Today the water bill came in and my sister asks me for the money. :angryfire: I'm doing what I can to find work and saving up for my apartment. I'll do what I can to help with the crucial bill's that we're using. But she's going to have to figure out the mortgage and association for her own house.

I had the feeling she would lean on me before the husband.
 
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terestrife

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She should go halves on the bill. Is she making you pay all of it?
Yes I paid the full water bill. But tomorrow my nieces bf Is giving her $500 for bills. Hopefully she sends all the money to the bills. Not sure how much bills will be left over for me.
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Supposedly next week they'll be contacting the person they've chosen for the interview I went to last week. I really hope I get it. I really liked the people I met. I got a good feeling being there.

I've been applying for part time jobs. I got sent a rejection email for being a shopping cart picker upper for a grocery store. :flail:can't even get a job picking up shopping carts. :frustrated::bawling2:
 
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terestrife

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Just an update.

Haven't had much luck finding work. I had a phone interview last week, but not much else.

Things have been peaceful in the house I love my sister, but her constant complaining and negative energy made me dread going home at night.

She's avoiding looking for work until now because her husband asked her to help.

Her daughter called me (lives in another state with her husband) she's 20 and going through a hard time. She got offered a job and since it was last minute she couldn't afford to get shoes that fit the dress code.

So she calls her mom for help and she tells her she has no money. So my sister is living with this guy and has no money to herself.

She's been telling her daughters that she's worried her home will end up lost. She doesn't want to lose the home that she owns, but won't help us keep it going.

:ohwell:

Anyway, at least things are most peaceful. I keep applying for jobs but haven't had luck. Been having some minor health issues lately so my energy is drained.
 
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terestrife

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Huh. That part doesn't sound so good. I would want at least a small allowance if I was a housewife.
Especially knowing my sister, she loves cooking and cleaning I'm sure their house is spotless.

Who knows maybe he does give her something. But her daughter told me she was trying to ask family for money for something she needed.
 

CatLover49

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We all need a safe space sometimes to share thoughts and get feedback from people that are outside of it all. Trust me, I get that. The joy of an internet forum is if someone doesn't want to read something, they don't have to. So know that anyone who reads and responds did so because they want to.

I don't know if it will help, but six years ago I was also working a job where I barely made enough. I did the math one time and I was going about $20 in the hole every week even working full time. A large part of that was the commute but another part was my ex. I am not going to hijack your thread with my long tale but he was an abusive manipulator and I didn't see it. Everyone else in my life did, I did lose friends over him. I was miserable but a whole lot went into why I stayed.

I ended up with two weeks off work at one point. I spent those two weeks applying to everything I could. Everything and anything regardless of how qualified I was. I ended up with ten interviews in those two weeks and from those one job offer.

It took another year for me to leave him. It hasn't been easy, some friends I lost for good, but I've also made new friends. I am not the same as I was. That job I got? It was the key to me discovering me. I got really lucky to fall into something that is wonderful. I love what I do now and they truly value me. It helps that I now make enough to pay the bills plus have a little left over. It did take a while to get there but I had to focus on me.

The point of this long drawn out share is that you have to focus on you. Don't worry about your sister or her long lost love interest. When he's there hang out in your space and apply to jobs. Don't be picky. Interviews for positions you don't want are practice. And who knows, you might find something you weren't looking for that is perfect for you.

There isn't an easy way to climb out of debt. I am not going to pretend there is. But if you haven't already, consolidating into a lower interest rate can really help. Your payments might also be lower to allow you a little wiggle room to save for your own place.

Just focus on you. What is best for you. How to get yourself (and your cats) into a better position. When you doubt tell yourself you are worth your time. Celebrate you and how wonderful you are. The rest will follow.
I’m feeling frustrated and don’t really have many people to talk to. Ive been posting here recently about problems I’ve been having. I hope im not annoying anyone, lol don’t really have many people that I can speak to honestly. Ive learned that speaking my mind can have really ugly consequences so I tend to not speak up anymore.


Last year I left my childhood home because my brother and I kept having issues about the cats and he was feeling frustrated and annoyed with them. This grew into us getting into a silly fight about something not related to the cats, and I moved into my sisters house.


My sister is being kind enough to let me try to pay down my debt. But I already owe 2000$ on a card that I used to help her out. She promised to pay it, but she now sees it as my debt since im not helping out in the house anymore. My nieces boyfriend, and I, were paying the bills while she was at home for a year grieving her husbands passing.


With the money I make, old debt, my car, and the cats, I cant afford my own place. Ive been going to interviews, and have an interview this week. But nothing is changing. Im looking into getting a weekend job for more money.


I sometimes have these ugly feelings that if I didn’t have the cats, I wouldn’t have the responsibility or the expense. It makes me feel so awful to have these feelings.


I posted recently about my sisters new found husband. They married 34 years ago, and thought they had divorced, but didn’t. Shes been talking to him for three weeks, and shes invited him over to stay for three days. Im stressed out because this random guy is staying with us for three days soon.


Every time I think about my next step, I keep my cats in mind. I cant just pack up and head somewhere for the weekend while theres a stranger in the house, because where in the world would I take them? I cant even afford to go anywhere anyway.


This all makes me miss my mother. We used to fight like crazy, but she was always there for me. Ever since shes been gone, I feel like the main support in my life is gone. We were partners and helped each other in decisions. I feel like the past two years ive been trying desperately to climb a ladder that’s not really leading anywhere, and yet I continue scrambling, and stumbling down the ladder.


The only person that ever understood me completely is gone. I feel unstable, as if I don’t have a sure footing around me. My sister been in a nasty mood since she got with her boyfriend, and keeps saying she needs her own life and for people to not bother her. Even though she stayed home living for free for a year. I love my sister. But there are moments I resent her.


Ever since my mother died the anger issues I have always had have intensified. Anyway, ive written enough, I thought I’d add some snap chat pictures of the kittys that i took today, to cheer up this post a little bit…


Im sorry that this post is me just whining and complaining. Lol

FOCUS on ureself n ure kitties..and NO ure kitties are NOT the problem here.THINK REALLY HARD...URE CATS ARENT THE PROBLEM..:hellocomputer::yeah::think::petcat::catman:
 
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terestrife

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FOCUS on ureself n ure kitties..and NO ure kitties are NOT the problem here.THINK REALLY HARD...URE CATS ARENT THE PROBLEM..:hellocomputer::yeah::think::petcat::catman:
Thank you for taking the time to respond. Anyone that knows me in the forum knows I take care of my cats and love them.

But I can't deny that they drive me crazy. Especially my cat Kitty, she's so spoiled. Lol I feed them early on weekdays so she expects food at 5 am on weekends. :fuming: her meows can start between 3 to 5 am.

Lol I had to buy a sound machine that dulls her high pitched meows. I feel bad for my family that hears her. :disappointed: they know I'm not sleeping well so they ignore it on the weekends. :angrywoman: crazy cat. :blush: my mom used to feed her at whatever hour she would wake her just to make her go away. Lol

I would wake up and she'd tell me she threw pillows and socks at kitty to make her go away. :flail: but it never worked. I never understood her struggle until now.

Oddly enough the only time kitty stopped her middle of the night cries was when my mom was nearing the end of her life. Somehow I think she knew and didn't bother her.
 
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terestrife

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I hope so, because housework is still work even if people think it isn't.
I agree. My brother told me I lived like a queen, because I was at home doing chores and caring for his daughter. People act funny when it comes to money. It's why I'm determined to stand on my own. It's why I'm worried about her being dependent on this random guy.
 

CatLover49

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Thank you for taking the time to respond. Anyone that knows me in the forum knows I take care of my cats and love them.

But I can't deny that they drive me crazy. Especially my cat Kitty, she's so spoiled. Lol I feed them early on weekdays so she expects food at 5 am on weekends. :fuming: her meows can start between 3 to 5 am.

Lol I had to buy a sound machine that dulls her high pitched meows. I feel bad for my family that hears her. :disappointed: they know I'm not sleeping well so they ignore it on the weekends. :angrywoman: crazy cat. :blush: my mom used to feed her at whatever hour she would wake her just to make her go away. Lol

I would wake up and she'd tell me she threw pillows and socks at kitty to make her go away. :flail: but it never worked. I never understood her struggle until now.

Oddly enough the only time kitty stopped her middle of the night cries was when my mom was nearing the end of her life. Somehow I think she knew and didn't bother her.
I kinda feel where ure coming from about kitty meowing at wee hrs of morning.My boy just started it in last few months;hes almost 11 yrs in July..He does it around 1_2 am n stops n starts again 5_6am n thats when I go on n get up around 6:30..for now.But we gotta lovem:wave3::goodluck::heartshape:
 

CatLover49

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Does anyone know if it's normal for people in love to be so absorbed by their partner that they ignore family. My sister tends to ignore texts she gets. She'll sometimes respond but not always. I don't hear from her for days and she sends me a silly text commenting that her husband mentioned me during the wedding video because he knows she loves me. Not sure what she was talking about.

I sent her a text that I'm going to have to get an endoscopy to figure out a digestive issue I'm having and two days later, no response. And yet the same day she's responding in the family chat. I can see she saw my text and then didn't answer.

Do people in love do this? It's not just me she's ignoring.

My mom once told me that my sister tends to see herself as Alice in wonderland, I never understood what she meant until now.

I don't have much experience with love so maybe I'm missing something.

-

I don't know if I should talk to my sister about her possibly renting out my room. I have the feeling Bill's are going to come in and she expects us to deal with it. I want to save up to move out. I'm willing to give up my room if it means I can save up money.

I don't like the thought of a stranger being here, but I need the money.
Yes its normal.Like:agree:Like the other member said she will come back down to earth..:woo::dance::agree:
 
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terestrife

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A truer word was never spoken. ;)
Thanks again for always responding. ;)
I kinda feel where ure coming from about kitty meowing at wee hrs of morning.My boy just started it in last few months;hes almost 11 yrs in July..He does it around 1_2 am n stops n starts again 5_6am n thats when I go on n get up around 6:30..for now.But we gotta lovem:wave3::goodluck::heartshape:
Kitty does the same sometimes. Lol sometimes I'll tell her to stop and she listens. :biggrin:

I think a lot of the negativity I have with the cats is that I'm tired of arguing because of them. I had to leave my child hood home because of resentments between me and my brother. I was constantly fighting with him because he hated the cats. I moved to my sister's house and she whines because of the hair. Now my niece is whining about the cats too. She has a nasty dog that pees all over the house, but she's worried about cat hair getting on her baby's stroller

I love the cats. But so dang sick of people whining about them.

Yes its normal.Like:agree:Like the other member said she will come back down to earth..:woo::dance::agree:
She's doing better. She's actually started texting us and not ignoring us. She was upset that she didn't see my message about the procedure I had to do.
 
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