Trying to get my semiferal girl comfortable with petting

DB89014

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Hi all, I am trying to get my semi feral girl used to being touched if possible. I have read how that can deepen their bond to you but I also don't want to cross any boundaries and set her back. She has made progress since I've had her. She will play with me, eat in front of me, she no longer hides when I come into the room or reach out to her attempting to give her treats (although she still does run and hide on occasion) but she will not actually take food from my hand. She will roll onto her side and seems relaxed in my presence but if I move too fast she'll still bolt. I had started trying to pet her with a wand with a cloth at the end but she wants no part of it and she will immediately go into hiding. Should I continue to attempt this or should I back off? Any advice is greatly appreciated
 

tabbytom

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but she will not actually take food from my hand. She will roll onto her side and seems relaxed in my presence but if I move too fast she'll still bolt. I had started trying to pet her with a wand with a cloth at the end but she wants no part of it and she will immediately go into hiding. Should I continue to attempt this or should I back off? Any advice is greatly appreciated
Rolling on the sides and exposing the belly is a sign of confidence and trust in you and that is great progress. Many cats are skittish when they sense fast movements especially for cats that have been living outdoors as a stray or feral as they meet all kinds of threats and their first defense in to scramble.

You can sit on the floor which make you smaller and not so intimidating and give her treats by hand or get her food ready and try to feed her by hand. It may take sometime for her to eat off your hand as not all cats will do that but it's worth trying.

Instead of petting her with the cat wand, as she lays on her side, you try to sit as close to her as possible with minimum movements. Talk softly to her and keep calling her name and keep praising her for laying on her side. Once she feels comfortable with you sitting next to her, slowly form your hand into a fist and let her smell your hand. A hand in a form of a fist shows no threats as it looks like another cat's head trying to do a head bump. Let her smell your hand and let her get use to your fist.
After awhile if you think she is comfortable with your fist, stroke her gently along her face towards her ear. If she don't mind you doing that, the next pet will be the same but tis time as you stroke her face, gently open up your fist and you continue the stroke all the way to the ear. Repeat several times till she used to it and once she's ok, continue the stroke in one stroke all the way to her neck.

Do it slowly and if first time it fails, never mind, don't give up, repeat again later. Do it several times a day over the next few days and weeks. Just don't rush in and most important thing is you must not let her loose her confidence in you and do not betray her trust.

It takes time, just be patience. Again, not all cat will allow that but it's worth giving it a try. Do one thing at a time and don't confuse her.

Do let us know the outcome.
 

Jcatbird

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Yes to all the above! You can also lay down very still on your back to show her trust. You can place a treat on your leg or tummy to see if she will come to claim it. I have often had cats take food from a dish on me before they would take food from my hand. She might trust the wand more if you just leave it somewhere that she can find it to investigate on her own. Once she knows it is not going to be a threat, she may begin to run on it. A soft hairbrush may work the same way and feel good to her. After these things carry her scent, she knows they are hers and they are not as scary. You have been doing great with her! Slow and with patience and she will trust more and more. She may bump you with her head or rub against you with her face as a beginning to touching. Sometimes they prefer to make that first move.
 

pearl99

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All and all of the above!
My Waffles will still startle if I move suddenly after 5 years. Patience and letting her make moves is key.
I had luck also with Waffles putting food closer and closer to me then on my legs on a dish while sitting still and not moving at all.
He seemed to prefer one finger extended rather than a fist for him to check out. Go with what works.
If she makes a move progressing it can help to not react, such as if she head butts you just staying still and letting her sniff and whatever she wants, leaning in or backing off.
Laying down on the floor helped too.
you’re doing great with her.
 
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DB89014

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Thank you all for the advice I will definitely give those things a try. I had read some things that stated if you waited too long to get her used to being touched you would miss the window of opportunity, and also that I should not stop trying to attempt to pet her if she was hissing at me or responding negatively so I think I felt pressured to do too much too soon and I was getting discouraged. I will take it one step at a time and see how it goes!
 

pearl99

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Thank you all for the advice I will definitely give those things a try. I had read some things that stated if you waited too long to get her used to being touched you would miss the window of opportunity, and also that I should not stop trying to attempt to pet her if she was hissing at me or responding negatively so I think I felt pressured to do too much too soon and I was getting discouraged. I will take it one step at a time and see how it goes!
For me I feel that listening and honoring their communication, such as hissing, will build confidence in you, that you can be trusted and to me it would help build a relationship. Hiss = "I'm scared" or "this is too much" or "back off," so they learn that you're not a threat and will listen. Plus I don't want to get bitten or clawed, but mostly trust building :petcat::purr:
 
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DB89014

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That makes more sense to me than to keep trying when she's clearly upset. Im keeping my fingers crossed she'll come around and learn im just here to take care of her
 
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