Trying to gain this female feral cat's trust

[capybart]

I trapped a feral cat in the beginning of October after seeing her around since August. She had 3 kittens with her back then, who I saw once or twice and never again (I assume they didn't make it unfortunately... Lots of coyotes and other predators in the area). In September mama cat started coming back around, and I began feeding her dinner every night until we trapped her.

She's gone to the vet and is perfectly healthy, suspected to be about 1 year old, and-- according to the vet-- is apparently a Balinese! Not a usual breed for a feral cat, which is what initially gave me hope that I could socialize her.

We brought her in on October 5th and have since then had her in a closed off room. She started off in a cage, a couple weeks in we opened the door to the cage to give her free-roam of the room. The cage has food, litter box, and carrier inside. She only ever comes out to eat or use the litter box at night (she will also run around and try to escape through the window at night) and stays curled up inside the carrier ALL day.

I know it takes lots of time and patience, and right now I am at the point in the process where I sit with her on the floor during the day and just get her used to my company. I'm playing classical/harp music on a low volume and I periodically offer treats inside the carrier where she hides (she eats them if I leave the room). I just started spending time in the room with her a few days ago. For the first couple weeks I just left her alone but even alone in the room all day she still wouldn't leave the carrier.

Is there anything else I should be doing, or am I doing anything wrong? Or is it just a waiting game until she learns she can get out of the carrier in the day? Should I go back to leaving her alone and wait for her to come out on her own?

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
Keep doing exactly what you're doing, --sitting with her, talking to her now and then, don't look at her directly (that can seem aggressive to cats), and the music is helping even if it doesn't seem like it. Have it on periodically, and off at other times.

We don't know what all happened to her previously, and you're right, a couple weeks isn't a lot. That she is eating, including those treats, and using the litter is truly awesome. This little girl will come around

 

[tabbytom]

In September mama cat started coming back around, and I began feeding her dinner every night until we trapped her.

She's gone to the vet and is perfectly healthy, suspected to be about 1 year old, and-- according to the vet-- is apparently a Balinese! Not a usual breed for a feral cat, which is what initially gave me hope that I could socialize her.

We brought her in on October 5th and have since then had her in a closed off room. She started off in a cage, a couple weeks in we opened the door to the cage to give her free-roam of the room. The cage has food, litter box, and carrier inside. She only ever comes out to eat or use the litter box at night (she will also run around and try to escape through the window at night) and stays curled up inside the carrier ALL day.

First, we thank you for trapping this kitty and for taking her in and for giving her a warm and fur-ever loving home and a safe sanctuary to live out her life

I agree with what Furballsmom mentioned.

What you've been doing is good and keep it up. It's good that the door to the cage is opened and she's been out eating and using the litter box. These are signs that she's getting use to it except that she does not have the full confidence as yet if there's someone around.

Continue the routine of you sitting there with her playing soft music and whispering or talking softly and lovingly with her. Visit her often and each time sit a little closer to the cage. Use a little more towels and place it inside the cage so that the towels will soak up her scents and after day or two, remove the towels and place it around the room. This is to help her gain confidence as there's familiar scent around so that she don't freak out. Also, do the opposite, place your clean unwashed non perfumed clothings with her so that she can get use to your scents too. This will boost her confidence same as her own familiar scents around the room.

Leave the cage door opened all the time so that she don't feel trapped as age is already kind of trapped for the time being the room so that she don't feel doubled trapped. Always announce your arrival by calling out her name softly and as you enter the room, open the door gently and take a peek and say hello to her before entering. This way, you'll not spook her.

You can use a ball and roll to her or use a cat wand to entice her to come out. Once she feels safe with you, she try to play ball or catch the cat wand and if she dies, place a small treat for her to reward her. Keep trying and don't give up. Right now, every progress is very important and you don't want regress. It may take awhile or even days, weeks or months before she has complete trust in you. Most importantly is is never betray her trust.

Remember to do the slow eye blinks with her. Slow blink and look away slowly as this makes her in charge of the situation. keep doing the slow blink and once in awhile, take a peek and see if she blink back at you. If she does, even a little, the battle is half won already.

Keep us posted and ask any questions you have. There's no such thing as a stupid question.

 

[capybart]

Hi!
Keep doing exactly what you're doing, --sitting with her, talking to her now and then, don't look at her directly (that can seem aggressive to cats), and the music is helping even if it doesn't seem like it. Have it on periodically, and off at other times.

We don't know what all happened to her previously, and you're right, a couple weeks isn't a lot. That she is eating, including those treats, and using the litter is truly awesome. This little girl will come around

Thank you that's a good point, she's made quite some progress already it's just harder to notice when I'm so anxious to make sure she can live a happy comfortable life indoors!

 

[capybart]

First, we thank you for trapping this kitty and for taking her in and for giving her a warm and fur-ever loving home and a safe sanctuary to live out her life

Thank you so much for all the kind words and advice! The towels and clothes idea is very good I'll start that soon. Right now she is in a big cage with two levels and she sits on the second level inside her carrier so it's been difficult to try to encourage her to come out with a toy or something since she isn't on ground level, but the treats seem to be at least somewhat working so far!

She seems to be very submissive, she will look down/hide her face when we sit close to her to avoid eye contact which I can't really tell yet if that's good or bad. But she has shown she's okay with sleeping with me in the room inside her carrier during the day. Also she's being kept in my bedroom right now so I sleep in there at night, which is when she's awake and active!

I will keep doing what I'm doing and remind myself to be patient, and I'll wait for her signal to move onto the next step. Thank you!!

 

[tabbytom]

Thank you that's a good point, she's made quite some progress already it's just harder to notice when I'm so anxious to make sure she can live a happy comfortable life indoors!

Just remember, along the way may have a hiccup or two but don't be discourage. It's always one step forward and two steps back. Once she feels loved and confidence and trust is at a higher level, she'll be thankful that she's indoors now. Let her explore the room and the house at her own pace and always have this safe room for her to retreat to.

Oh, while typing this message, your reply came in. I just want to add on, if possible, leave her carrier on the lower level and block up the upper level and have the carrier face the cage door. Since her food and litter box is outside, she does not need to be at the upper level so that she won't be there permanently and it'll be harder to get her out in that sense.

You can also get a big cardboard box to replace the cage. Cats like to be in cardboard boxes as it also acts as a temporary hiding place for her and it'll be easier to lure her out.

It's good that she's sleeping in the carrier with you at night but minus the cage right? If that's the case, remove the cage when she's in your room and replace with a cardboard box put the towels with her scents in it. These are steps to make the transition easier and quicker. If she is in the high loft of a double level cage, it'll take much more time. The closer she is to you the faster the socialization.

 

[Furballsmom]

I'm so anxious to make sure she can live a happy comfortable life indoors!

As tabbytom said, you have her in a safe, warm place with good food, water and all the comforts now. There's absolutely no need to rush things, she's there with you which means you're past the most difficult part.

So, relax, and enjoy her company in whatever manner she presents herself. The more calm you are and the less emotional pressure you exude/project, the easier things will be for you both .

she will look down/hide her face when we sit close to her to avoid eye contact

As I mentioned, don't look directly at her until she's more comfortable with you-all

 

[tabbytom]

I will keep doing what I'm doing and remind myself to be patient, and I'll wait for her signal to move onto the next step. Thank you!!

Hi there, just checking in on how are things going on?

 

[jeanw]

I'm just seeing your thread for the first time. Lots of good advice here.

I took in an injured female feral 5 years ago. She was ?? maybe 5 years old then. My experience is that it takes a long long long time to gain their trust. Every cat of course is different. Her name is Boots - only in the last 6 months or so has she come to me for petting and scratching her head rather than me always being the one to offer affection. Her initial reaction is still to be afraid a lot of the time - even though I'm totally non-threatening.

Just keep doing what you're doing and don't give up. Since she's only a year old, hopefully she will come around quicker.

Let us know how it goes.

 

[capybart]

Hi there, just checking in on how are things going on?

Hi, thank you for checking in!

I think she is starting to do better. She's made some very small steps but I think it's still progress! I'm just waiting to see what happens after the vet appointment she has tomorrow, she might hate us for a bit after that...

I put a few of my shirts in the areas I know she likes to hang out at night, and I took some of the towels from in her cage and put them inside some cardboard boxes around the room. She's finally stopped hiding in the carrier all day and will hide in the boxes instead! She's also started to eat treats in front of me when I offer them, although it takes her about 5 minutes before she works up the courage to try out the treat. I've also noticed she's much more confident at night. She doesn't get spooked when I talk to her after dark when I hear her come out from hiding and eat food. Last night I even saw her stretch out by the window on top of her cage and give herself a bath, and she didn't mind that I was still awake!

Tomorrow morning I have a consultation with someone from the humane society about making sure I'm doing all the right things to help socialize her, as well as taking all the advice on this thread!

Oh, I also started leaving treats around the room at night in the areas she likes to explore to (hopefully) encourage her to keep exploring!

 

[tabbytom]

I think she is starting to do better. She's made some very small steps but I think it's still progress!

That's good to hear. If done right, in no time she'll be won over. keep it up and keep us posted!

 

[Furballsmom]

Last night I even saw her stretch out by the window on top of her cage and give herself a bath, and she didn't mind that I was still awake!

This sounds fabulous!!

I would be surprised if the humane society would have much else to add to what you're doing. Whatever they say, don't let them change what you're doing, which is to say you don't need to, or want to rush her and personally, I'm concerned they may try to get you to hurry things along.

She's doing absolutely wonderfully, as evidenced by that grooming session !!

 

[Tobermory]

I adopted a three-year-old feral three years ago. I did all of the things you’re doing and that others suggested. They really do work! It just takes enormous patience.

It was weeks before I could touch her, and I learned that I had to let her come to me. If I reached out to her, she’d run back to her safe place and hide. So I’d sit on the floor and hold my hand out low with the back of it toward her and talk softly to her. She eventually, tentatively, rubbed against it. But if I raised my hand higher than her head, she’d scurry away. I could only rub the back of my hand slowly down her side. After several weeks, I could pet her as long as I did it slowly and spoke softly to her. (It was months before my husband could touch her because I couldn’t get him to stop reaching out to try to pet her.)

Mocha is about six now, and is probably one of the most affectionate cats I’ve ever had. She’s a total lap cat and sleeps with me every night. She’s never gotten on my husband’s lap, but she’s always nudging him to pet her. But there are still times that she will flinch or shy away when she’s startled. And I can’t pick her up; she freaks out. She’s still learning to be a companion kitty. It takes time and patience...but it is so incredibly rewarding!

 

[sweetlilac]

This may sound weird but my feral was very conflicted about me even after being alone (her sibs died); then an alpha male showed up and came indoors, whom i pet and hugged. She looked at this and thought, you can do that? Suddenly she got much more competitive or friendly, maybe learned by watching. Maybe have a super chill friendly cat come over and show the feral cat what friendliness looks like? Worked like a charm for KittyKat.

 

[capybart]

Well it's still a steady and slow progress, but I think we are moving forward! She no longer hides in the carrier all day and instead hides in a box I placed for her by the window. She also has gained more confidence in coming out at night; I can still be awake and making noise, as long as it's dark in the room!

Recently she's started to get a little aggressive which I thought at first was a step back. But after thinking about it for a bit, I noticed overall she seems much less afraid around me or in general, and the only times she has gotten aggressive (hissed and swatted at me) were when I was getting just a bit too close when handing her treats. I think maybe in a weird way it's actually good, because I think that means she's more confident to assert her own boundaries and tell me to back off, rather than just curling up and hiding in the corner!

Today I even saw her start to drool when I came in the room to offer treats, haha!

Again, thank you everyone for all the encouragement and advice I appreciate it all so much!

 

[Furballsmom]

You are fantastic