Tragic Accident Not Sure How To Handle It

[shell429]

We have several cats, my favorite being Moonshine who was only 10 months old. My 7 year old son was apparently playing with her in his room. She was jumping in and out of the food bin. I'm not sure what went through his mind, but at some point she jumped in and he closed and latched the lid. Some hours went by, we were all out of the house. Then we discovered Moonshine still in the food bin had suffocated to death. I am torn up with grief and guilt and while I know it was not intentional I don't know how to handle this with my son who caused her death. I thought he was old enough to know not to do things like that. I just can't look at him right now. My whole family is torn up over losing her like this. She really was our favorite cat, she had the best personality and just was so lovable. I was at work and the rest of the family was attending a wedding during the time that she was dying. I just don't know how to handle this and I'm just crushed.

Michelle

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I know your heart is broken. Just as I know your son did not intentionally harm Moonshine. It is going to be delicate in the extreme, but somehow he needs to know that thoughtless actions can have disastrous results without overly burdening him, and that is going to depend on your son. I have no way of knowing his level of maturity, only you know that.

In the mean time, find another type of food container, one that will not allow this to happen in the future.

Rest you gentle, Moonshine, dream you deep. You were so loved, and are missed so much. Your family wanted the best for you, but you know that.

 

[catsknowme]

What a terrible accident!!! But it WAS an accident. I concur with changing the food container to another system and also explaining to your son what has happened and why. Many years ago, I knew a family whose litter of five kittens went missing and a day later, the little ones were discovered deceased in the clothes dryer where a youngster only 4 years old had put them....it was AWFUL for that family, especially for the older children and the mother cat who kept searching and calling for her babies. I send you my condolences - Moonshine sounds like she was a real treasure and will be sorely missed.

 

[mizzely]

This is definitely difficult, I'm sorry you are dealing with this!

I think I would sit down with your son and tell him you know it was an accident, and that you love him regardless. He's likely already feeling pretty guilty. I would ask him to explain what happened so that you know his side of the story (if he hasn't been the one to come forward with the info) and explain that you are hurt and angry but at the situation. Definitely make sure he understands that he needs to be careful because accidents happen but can be avoided if we pay attention.

That's just my gut feeling from over here outside the situation.

I'm so sorry

 

[di and bob]

Your son is too young to understand that death is permanent, but he needs to know that Moonshine will not be coming back. It may be a good time to check for more things like that food bin that may be a trap for animals or other children. Make sure he understands that he needs to tell you if he locks any of the animals (or other children) up. Allow him to talk about it if he feels the need to, he may be feeling guilt for what he did based on the reactions of others around him. Accidents are just that, they are horrible, but they DO happen, often with tragic consequences. Take a head count of all the animals in the house every time they are left alone for any length of time, it may prevent another tragedy. Have someone assigned to do this.
He had no intentions of bringing harm to Moonshine, it was a tragic accident.You cannot hold guilt for something you had no intention of happening. It does demonstrate how fragile life is, and that we should live (and love our loved ones) each and every day that is granted to us. No one has a guarantee of a tomorrow. Little Moonshine loved her family, she would never want anyone of you to hold such guilt and sorrow over her death. She knows it was an accident, she loves you all too much for any of you to be in so much pain.
I know how much this hurts, and how long the tragedy can play in your head, I walked across a busy street and did not know my little one was following......., you learn to live with the heartache, but have to forgive yourself and your son to go on living as you should, a life full of happiness and love, not tears and sorrow. Sweet Moonshine would never want this for you, live your life as you would want for her if you were the first to go. The bond you formed with her will never be taken from you, she left you a legacy of love to pass on. She shared your life's journey for a short while, now her journey's path will parallel yours until one day it crosses again. Hold her in your heart and use the wonderful memories of happier times to bring comfort to your soul. She will always share a part of her heart with you, love is not subject to physical laws, so is eternal. I will pray for you and your family, my heart goes out to you all , take care and know you are not alone in your grief........RIP precious Moonshine, please send the pure light that is your namesake to bring comfort to the grieving hearts that miss you so terribly much. Let your new star in the heavens bring peace to the hearts of a little boy and his family who will forever hold you in loving hearts. Goodnight, sleep tight, little Princess!

 

[shell429]

Thank you all for your responses. I attached a photo of our sweet girl. We already threw the food bin away and bought a large self feeder.

 

[Antonio65]

She was wonderful indeed, a real and rare jewel.
I don't know how you can handle this, too many things I don't know about your family and your son, but I am rather sure of how I would handle it... and I don't think you would like to read that.
But do know that I will be thinking of Moonlight.
RIP beautiful angel

 

[shell429]

I'm having him pay for her cremation out of his savings. My daughter is making her an urn to put her ashes in. I know I will find peace eventually but for now it's really really hard to look at him and not immediately think of what he did. He was my little cat lover, my daughter preferred our dogs but he was always the one who wanted to play with the cats and have them sleep in his bed. Moonshine used to sleep with my daughter, but he asked not long ago to have her with him and I agreed. Hindsight being 20/20 I shouldn't have. But I know I can't go back and change anything. If he was 4 years old I feel I could forgive easier because at that age they really don't know consequences. But at 7, I thought he would know not to do cruel things like that.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Seven is still young to truly realize consequences, or at least how permanent they can be. He probably had no clue about what "air-tight" would mean, what it even was. Now he, so very sadly, does. And your reaction is very human. With time, you will BOTH come to terms with this, know that it was a tragic accident, and move through it. Not "get over," but "move through." Do remember that the concept of "air tight" is beyond MANY children that age. They just don't think like that. You and your family are in my heart.

 

[Sallysoo]

I am v sad too. It was an accident that no one wanted and could forsee. I can understand and feel your pain. It will be a painful period intially, for your son too as he must be sad and feel bad about the incident. He may not recall what he had done unknownly. You hv to be strong too. As at now, you hv to talk openely about it and grieve over the loss. It is good to face the truth and thereafter hv to move on with life. The kitty will always hv a precious place in your heart.

 

[zed xyzed]

I am so sorry, She was a beautiful girl

 

[orange&white]

 

[WallahZareef]

Please be there for your son. You don't want this accident to mess with his psyche. Hug him, cry with him, let him know that you know it was an accident but he needs to be more careful. Have him write a letter to the cat, and have him read to the family. He needs an outlet to let his emotions and he needs to feel comfortable in grieving. At the end of the day this is your son, who is only 7 years old. You want him to recover from this incident, so you need to be the strong adult.

 

[Mark Lehrkind]

Your story made everyone here cry. We are sorry for your loss. Try to be strong, it is always tough to be around for others.

 

[dorymb]

Oh I am so sorry for you. What a tragic experience for your family.