Tough Time Dealing With Chotu The Stray

[Psybug]

Chotu seems to be less affectionate as the days go by and i try to keep him indoors but the moment his buddy kitten comes, he wants to go out. Today i got the cabin crate and catnip to play with and am halfway through the process of getting him to leave with me but the more i watch his behaviour, the more i feel disheartened and think i should just leave him behind. Hes become spoiled (my fault) and i am finding the whole situation unmanageable. I kept him in the soft cabin crate for 20 mins and played with him...but then things just went sour...
What on earth am i going to do? If i dont take him then i definitely dont have the funds to ensure food for him after i leave. So am really fed up of this situation...all advice would be appreciated.

 

[dragonlady2]

Although Chotu appears to be less affectionate, he could also be picking up on your stress level. Sounds like you are second guessing taking him. I was in a similar situation and followed through with taking the two cats with me. I don’t regret that decision. It was a drastic change for them but they managed beautifully. In fact when I left the catio open by mistake, only one went for a walkabout and returned within 20 minutes wanting back in and the other wouldn’t budge out of the catio. Cats are smarter than given credit for...trust that your plan to take him is a good one. Better than leaving him behind.

 

[Psybug]

Thank you so much.... i am just very out of sorts with the situation and i know as the days go by (one month left to travel) I need to get him to like his cabin carrier as we will be on a plane for 17 hours. So i have to increase his time in the carrier by half an hour everyday which means i will play with him whilst hes in it... which i have no issues doing but trying to keep him indoors is absolutely challenging and doesnt seem to work right now. And once we get to canada i need to socialise him to 2 dogs and in an unknown house which i try not to think about as thats just additional and unnecessary worry which i really dont have the bandwidth for.... but thank you for your kindness in your response and not judging me as i do enough of that in regards to this darling that i love so much and am really wanting to give him a better safer existence...thank you

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
These may help for the move even if not absolutely specific;
How To Safely Introduce A Cat And A Dog

9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment

How To Help A New Cat Adjust To Your Home

 

[kittychick]

Psybug - I've kept up some on your and Chotu's journey but I apologize if I miss something in my answer here. And I promise - - - no judging from me. This site is very judge free----which is wonderful, isn't it?

I first want to say - - -I 100% understand that this is a tough situation. I wouldn't want to leave him either - - - and wouldn't, if it can at all be avoided. If you end up having no other choice - do you have anyone living very near to you that knows Chotu at all and that you know will be kind to him and caring? I certainly understand handing over the money for a lifetime of food for Chotu to someone isn't possible (I know we couldn't!) - but if it's someone you trust, could you send money for food/vet care if necessary/etc. in "chunks" - - like a month at a time? And for extra "insurance" - I'd ask for pictures of Chotu periodically-- - just so I knew that he was there, and was being cared for. I know that would make me feel more assured he was being cared for!!!!

However, I think if you can at all, you should take him. He's bonded with you, and you've obviously bonded with him too! I do think it's possible - - - not easy - - but possible!!! And that's what all of us are here for - - -help through the tough times!!! So.....

If I remember correctly, Chotu was a feral (or a very skittish/shy stray) when you met him? And you fixed him recently (this past week?) - AND you're also moving to another country - Canada very shortly, correct? Wowza! That's a lot! I'm SO glad you keep coming back to this site for suggestions and a shoulder to lean on. Moving countries is stressful even WITHOUT moving a feral cat (or any pet!) - - so try to take deep breaths and slow your probably wildly careening brain down a bit if possible (easier said than done, I know! I'm a worrier - - - I'd bouncing off my walls at this point!!!!!! ) But that's why I love this wonderful site - you don't have to feel alone!

As D dragonlady2 pointed out - - cats are VERY attuned to their environment and the people and other animals within it. They pick up on stress, frustration, etc. so the more calm you can be when near him, the better (I know - MUCH easier said than done!!!).

You're obviously a VERY caring person who's trying to do the best thing possible for Chotu - just the fact that you've gotten him fixed is fantastic. That should help him a bit as far as calming him down - - the fewer hormones coursing through him, the better in the long run.

Have you talked with your vet about the plane ride and Chotu's situation? He can likely prescribe a light medication to help him make it through the trip more easily (making it easier on YOU too!). Be sure he understands that you've just begun socializing him (so he doesn't just prescribe a giant pill that will make it difficult to get down him!). He may even be able to give you something that can be mixed into pate style food, or stuffed into a treat, etc.

This may have been suggested - -but have you put a Feliway plug-in in his room there - and once he arrives in his new home? It's a pheromone liquid that helps calm some cats -- they also have a spray that can be used in any carrier/room he'll be in, etc.). Jackson Galaxy also has several natural sprays that are similar - and targeted to specific situations (I've had great luck with them in some cases, - but sometimes neither have helped). Jackson makes one specific to helping feral kitties their fears. I've used this - - again, sometimes with great luck, other times it didn't seem to help at all. The first link below is for the natural feral formula he has (there are other sprays on that page, then link below that is his main page, which you might find helpful reading through some sections).

Feral Flower Formula

Tips & Tricks | Jackson Galaxy Store

Check out the links Furballsmom suggested - - she's always got great references!

And definitely search through this site (thecatsite.com) in this feral/stray section - - you'll find many who've dealt with similar situations!

I've got other links/articles that's I'll look through tonight and see what else I can come up with! I think you and Chotu can do this! Hang in there!!!!! (and keep us posted - - -day or night!)

 

[Psybug]

Thank you so much... chotus mother just gave birth a few weeks ago to 2 darling kittens and today when i went down stairs he was in the garden playing with them... it breaks my heart to take him away from this comfort zone of friends.
No sadly there is no one here i could have entrusted to feed him ...i could have left food however with all the other cats around henwouldnt have gotten a morsel and since he is not assertive (except with me) he probably would starve.

For the calming medication, i have beapher which is herbal and am trying to see how that will work. The options are so limited in delhi (india). And hes so smart he wont eat it so am going to find a spray...

The containment in the crate is perhaps the most challenging... day 2 only 18 mins and i need to get him in their for 17 hours plus the drive home...he yowls and cries and generally hates it...i would too so although i cajole him and lie right next to him and play it alleviates the yowling for a few seconds and then hes off and ..none of it helps... i worry he will rip the carrier and get out...
Luckily he is not as distressed with the harness ... the saving grace which i need for security check when i have to take him out of the carrier for it to be xrayed. Again thank you ...will see if i can get some of these galaxy products here....though hes a strong willed kitten most of which was my hope when he came to me for food at a very young age and his mother was always hissing at him as opposed to his siblings who have now died or disappeared....

 

[Furballsmom]

Luckily he is not as distressed with the harness ... the saving grace

I think you're doing a fantastic job of things!

 

[dragonlady2]

These are just my thoughts. I am not sure I would try to train Chotu to stay in the carrier. He doesn’t know he is moving so doesn’t understand why he is being kept in it. Once you leave, he will react differently to being in the carrier. There will be different sounds, smells etc. Can you place a toy, treat etc and give him the freedom to go in and get it? Hopefully, Chotu will feel positively about being in it. The more comfortable he is around it, the less stressed he will be. Once you get to your new home, I think the carrier will be the only place he will feel safe until he settles.
On the trip, maybe you could place a used sock of yours or a small blanket that he sleeps on to assist with feeling secure or calm.

 

[ZepMom]

I have NO experience with feral or semi feral cats. However, I also think if you leave the crate open & place a blanket or towel, treats & a toy inside this may encourage him to go in. I'd try playing with him around the crate (door open). Use a string toy to entice him near the crate, on top of it & work up to getting him inside. Draping a blanket over the crate may encourage him inside. My cats love find little hiding spots like boxes or under things.

Mine love napping in the carriers that we use for vet trips. We keep them in the same spot near a door with a thick hand towel inside. They really love it when their towels are freshly washed & dried.

Keep working with him & do not give up. I do believe he is meant to go with you, but understand it is quite stressful.

 

[Psybug]

stressful is absolutely right. he has become downright resentful. and wont even headbutt or be in the same room as me now.
he plays around the carrier...sometimes zipping through it. and when i get him for 18mins hes okay but the moment i stop playing or distracting him the howling and panic sets in and he wants out...
added to this - his kitten buddy hanging around doesnt help as it seems to make chotu realize that hes being kept indoors and so he howls to get out...both from carrier and from the room. not sure how i can take him on a 17 hour flight plus the drama of getting luggage and customs once we reach canada - i am really at my wits end. he hasnt come for breakfast today which just means he is super annoyed at me, and hes being a cat...i understand that. the very fact that i am taking him away from everything he knows - is going to be rude shock and rude awakening for him...
i have done everything for him that i have read about and researched and followed everyones suggestion but this really feels like i am banging my head against a wall. part of me wants to just let it be. i dont need the aggravation of traumatising a cat... thank you for the valuable insights...

 

[shadowsrescue]

I would stop trying to contain him in the crate. As mentioned above, he just doesn't understand and it may make it much harder for you to get him into the crate when the time comes. Instead, I would make the crate his cozy nest. This is the place where he feels safe. Some yummy snacks inside or even a meal, fun toys. Have you tried catnip?

I moved (only an hours car ride away) over a year ago and brought 3 feral cats with me. I started preparing to get them inside about 6 weeks ahead of time. They all had lived outside in my backyard and none had ever lived inside a house. They all knew me well as I had cared for them for years. I had to get them into carriers so they could be taken to a room I had ready for them on my second floor. I decided that when I moved, there were going to be inside only cats. Outside was just too dangerous.

I had 3 carriers that I would place around in different areas. In each carrier, I had a cozy blanket with catnip sprinkled all over it. I also had a small bowl of tuna. I did this every day. They looked forward to it. On the "capture" day, 2 of them easily went into the carriers. The 3rd one was more of a struggle, but it did work out.

I completely understand how stressful this is for you. Yet, if you are stressed, he will be stressed too. Cats can pick up on our emotions. Try to remain as normal and upbeat as possible. Just remember that "this too shall pass" and things will once again be normal. This is the hard part!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi!
I think that the suggestion of making his crate a cozy place is terrific.

Instead of viewing taking him away from things with negativity, think of the trip as one day on the way to a wonderful, safe place for him

You've done a lot of good to this point by introducing him to the carrier, and his playing around it and zooming through it is an enormous successful "win". My suggestion is much the same as above; you need to focus on normal routines, stop stressing and stop overthinking this, because you're making both yourself and your cat a lot more stressed.

Take a few hours each day and behave as though you've completely forgotten about the trip, as though it isn't happening. If you find that your cat also behaves differently (more calm around you) after a couple of days of this, then keep doing this mental exercise . When you get your inner peace and harmony more in balance, your cat will see you as The You he is familiar with, and will be much happier.

 

[Jcatbird]

I’m so sorry you are so stressed! Here’s my suggestion. I feel you are over thinking this. It’s great to plan ahead but it could be that you aren’t taking into consideration that sometimes when cats are traveling they become very quiet. I had to take 16 through an evacuation that took many hours. Most were in hard carriers or cages but a couple were in soft crates. They pawed at the soft crates a bit but when I talked in a calming tone to them, they stopped. If I had been able to I would have used hard crates for all but it just wasn’t possible. Cats that normally cried on the short ride to the vet did not cry. The 12 hour drive was silent. I talked to them in reassuring tones during the trip and a couple were nervous but over time they calmed and settled down. Most fell asleep. When we arrived at our destination they were still quiet. They were exposed to a dog for the first time and were kept crated while we were there with the exception of a few that had a private room. I did take them out to get exercise in the house but they were beautifully behaved. I was surprised! Like you, I had anticipated all kinds of issues in my mind. None of those things happened. The cats sensed that we were in a different environment and they used their instincts well. You know,a feral will be quiet and hide when confronted with something new. Even though these kitties had become used to me, they used their natural kitty instincts. They ate, slept a good bit, watched what was going on around them and went to the littter box. All my worrying was just my anticipation of problems. An airplane ride can actually be a relaxing thing. The quiet and vibrations may make kitty sleep a lot.
As for crate training, I always make crates a safe haven for my cats. It’s a place they go to for naps, play, treats and lots of attention. Brushing and letting happen their. Everything they like happens there during training. I leave the crates open for them to use as their own private house. I put something that carries my scent inside for them to lay on. It’s their happy and safe place.
Using something to help the kitty relax might help but you may find it isn’t needed. Try looking at this as a wonderful and fun adventure for you both. If you feel that way then your kitty will sense this. Positive thoughts and relaxation are important for you both. I fully believe you will both be fine.
Don’t worry about what comes after the move yet. One step at a time. Everything may be far different than you expect.
Anticipate great things!

 

[dragonlady2]

Agree with Jcatbird. We travelled cross country for 3 days. I had one yowler, but even she calmed down after a while. The cats were in a crates large enough for litter and food. Two of them were feral, three were house cats. They were never let out of their crates and they all managed really well, considering I had twelve travelling cages with parrots on top of them during the drive...lol.
If I have any words of advice, keep him in from now on. Cover up windows so he can’t look out. He may not be happy, but he will adjust. Get him dependent on you for food, safety etc. Cats are really resilient.

 

[msaimee]

I agree with those who have advised you against creating him each day. Almost all cats hate to be crated or confined in a pet carrier for any length of time, especially outdoor cats. My oldest cat is over 18 years old, I've had him since he was a kitten, and he still cries inside the carrier when I take him to the vet. They all do. There is simply no way to "prepare" him for the trip. You'll just need to do it and you will both get through it. Can you get a vet to prescribe Gabapentin for the trip? That would sedate him for most of it.

I absolutely hate the whole process of trapping a cat, driving the panicked cat to my vet in the trap, and the days the cat has to spend at the vet for the spay/neuter surgery. I know the cat is scared, and I'm stressed. But I've learned to adopt the mindset that these few days of trauma for the cat will result in a lifetime of happiness and safety for the cat inside my home or my neighbors' homes. The cat will absolutely forget the experience and forgive you. I guarantee it. They are not humans, they do not hold grudges. Crating hom every day needlessly, however, will damage the trust you have built.

If you leave him behind, you will worry and always wonder if he's being cared for.

My advice is to make the decision to take him. Try to get a vet to prescribe a sedative. Then just do it. He will adjust to his new home. From what you've described, he is a stray, not a feral. If you can handle him and he comes into your home, then you've already domesticated him and he will adjust to your new home.

 

[kittychick]

One quick thing - - -and I may have missed someone suggesting this - -- when you're on the plane/travelling, covering the outside of the carrier in something like a sheet makes a big difference for most kitties. Carriers all have holes on the sides/top/front/etc. - - and by covering, you take away the kitty's feeling that he's defenseless and can be "come at" from all sides. It makes them feel far more secure. We even do this with our own (very socialized) kitties when going on any kind of trip (like vet, etc.). The difference is enormous - some of ours now even fall asleep once the carrier is covered!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! How are things going? Are you and Chotu ok I hope?

I wanted to post this link for you - this is a list of some of the animal welfare organizations in India. If you are able to contact one or more of them, they may have information about veterinarians and other things that may be of help to you

Groups We Help - HelpAnimalsIndia

 

[maggiedemi]

we will be on a plane for 17 hours.

Are they letting him ride in the cabin of the plane with you instead of cargo?

 

[tnrmakessense]

Chotu seems to be less affectionate as the days go by and i try to keep him indoors but the moment his buddy kitten comes, he wants to go out. Today i got the cabin crate and catnip to play with and am halfway through the process of getting him to leave with me but the more i watch his behaviour, the more i feel disheartened and think i should just leave him behind. Hes become spoiled (my fault) and i am finding the whole situation unmanageable. I kept him in the soft cabin crate for 20 mins and played with him...but then things just went sour...
What on earth am i going to do? If i dont take him then i definitely dont have the funds to ensure food for him after i leave. So am really fed up of this situation...all advice would be appreciated.

 

[tnrmakessense]

I'm a lifelong feral socializer/rescuer and I admit I haven't read all of your posts, but I wanted to tell you that it's been my experience that when a cat - especially a former feral - acts badly, it's because they don't feel well. And I've long since given up hope that veterinary care can solve the myriad problems a feral kitty comes with. But when all is said and done, I'd rather look back and say that I did ALL that I could for a cat, than not. That means endless patience. Putting up with pee everywhere. Putting up with bad behavior. Being grateful for the small moments that most people wouldn't understand as miraculous. And knowing, after a long grieving period, that I really did everything I could, to meet that kitty where they were.