I wanted to get this story out, not just as personal guilt but as story that may inspire others to take action. This cat story has a sad beginning, a hopeful middle, and a tragic end. But the reality of it needs to be said.
I’m a college student, I live with my parents and last year I started setting out cat food outside that my picky indoor cat didn’t want. There have been stray cats in my neighborhood years before, and I wanted to do something kind for any lingering ones. Much to my surprise I discovered a stray hanging around the neighborhood that I had never seen before. He was some sort of Siamese mix, skinny, and very frightened. Somehow, he had found my house and the cat food and would regularly come by once he learned I was constantly leaving food out.
Every time I would approach him, he would run away and over the next few months I slowly but surely got him to trust me until one day after he finished eating, he came over to me and started rubbing against me like we had been best friends our whole lives. He was a sweet little guy, loved head rubs, loved to roll around and show me his tummy, and loved rubbing against me. Naturally, I grew very attached to this cat. I fed him everyday. I would give him pets and sit with him and watch the stars and the leaves. Eventually my parents agreed to let him in and I wanted to adopt him very badly seeing as the winter months were also closely approaching.
I tried to bring him in, but when I did he would absolutely freak out, he would scream and claw the door open to escape. I felt terrible, I felt like I was hurting him even though I knew outside is not where a cat is meant to be. So I decided I would take it slowly, I would let him get comfortable coming in on his own terms. And for a while it worked. I would get him in to eat meals and explore. He was always comfortable around me but when he saw another person or heard my other cat crying because I locked him in another room, he would get scared and dash back outside.
I told myself to be patient, one day he would come inside and want to stay forever. But things became more pressing when I discovered he had injured his ear very badly, something or someone had hurt him and he needed a vet. Winter was also brutal this year. Below zero weather for a couple of weeks. He would curl up in the outdoor heated cat house I bought for him (which are great and lifesavers by the way, I a hundred percent recommend) and would stay for most of the night but he would always leave. Against all odds, he survived the freezing weather like the good strong boy he was. But, he never stayed outside my house for more than a few hours. He was a wanderer and I always wondered where he went.
In the warmer weather, he wandered more and I would just barely catch him for when he came by for meal time. But, last Thursday I noticed he hadn’t come by to eat at all which I didn’t think was odd at first since he’s gone days without visiting before but on my way to work as I was driving I found him in the middle of the road. He had been run over and had died who knows when. No words can describe how horrified I was, how I horrified bystanders by screaming and crying in the middle of the road, and how angry I still am at myself.
He had survived a year out here, I thought he was always cleverly careful but I was naive. People aren’t always nice to cats around here and people drive like maniacs. I should have known better. I had him in my house! I should have kept him there! I should have researched cat rescue more, I should have put in more effort instead of making excuses of how extremely busy I am. I had him in my house and I should have kept him there even if he was panicking and screaming! Now it’s too late, and my poor sweet boy who was probably looking for his home this whole time, who was probably heading to my house for our daily breakfast was killed and I can never take that back. I wasn’t even there to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to give him the life he deserved and I will have to live with this the rest of my life.
I called him ‘Toast’ because he looked like an adorable piece of toast. He was the sweetest, gentlest cat. He was full of love and full of life and he didn’t deserve all this pain and suffering. If my story can be a lesson to anyone, it would be 1. Please, for the love of everything, don’t abandon your pets. They aren’t objects, they aren’t toys, they are living creatures who have feelings. They feel love, hurt, and betrayal. And if you dump them outside and leave them, they will die. They will suffer and die brutally, so why would anyone do that? How could a sweet cat be dumped on the streets? He did nothing wrong, all he wanted was a home.
2. Don’t hesitate. Don’t be like me and wait too long, you never know when that chance day will come where the poor cat will be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
thanks for reading, I just needed to get this out there. It hurts so much to know that I failed him. I helped him suffer as little as possible through the winter but in the end I didn’t save him, he never deserved this kind of pain. The people who abandoned him and hit him and left him, are a special kind of monster. If I could have a single wish, it would be to go back in time to stop this from happening. But it’s too late. Now I can’t stop checking the porch window to see if by some miracle it was a different cat, but I know it was him, I know he’s buried behind our house. But I keep waiting for him even though I know he won’t be there.
I truly hope that he is in a better place, that the cats I’ve lost before can look out for him now. And I really desperately hope one day I can see him again to tell him how very sorry I am for not doing enough and to tell him that there were some humans in this life that loved him with all their hearts.
I’m a college student, I live with my parents and last year I started setting out cat food outside that my picky indoor cat didn’t want. There have been stray cats in my neighborhood years before, and I wanted to do something kind for any lingering ones. Much to my surprise I discovered a stray hanging around the neighborhood that I had never seen before. He was some sort of Siamese mix, skinny, and very frightened. Somehow, he had found my house and the cat food and would regularly come by once he learned I was constantly leaving food out.
Every time I would approach him, he would run away and over the next few months I slowly but surely got him to trust me until one day after he finished eating, he came over to me and started rubbing against me like we had been best friends our whole lives. He was a sweet little guy, loved head rubs, loved to roll around and show me his tummy, and loved rubbing against me. Naturally, I grew very attached to this cat. I fed him everyday. I would give him pets and sit with him and watch the stars and the leaves. Eventually my parents agreed to let him in and I wanted to adopt him very badly seeing as the winter months were also closely approaching.
I tried to bring him in, but when I did he would absolutely freak out, he would scream and claw the door open to escape. I felt terrible, I felt like I was hurting him even though I knew outside is not where a cat is meant to be. So I decided I would take it slowly, I would let him get comfortable coming in on his own terms. And for a while it worked. I would get him in to eat meals and explore. He was always comfortable around me but when he saw another person or heard my other cat crying because I locked him in another room, he would get scared and dash back outside.
I told myself to be patient, one day he would come inside and want to stay forever. But things became more pressing when I discovered he had injured his ear very badly, something or someone had hurt him and he needed a vet. Winter was also brutal this year. Below zero weather for a couple of weeks. He would curl up in the outdoor heated cat house I bought for him (which are great and lifesavers by the way, I a hundred percent recommend) and would stay for most of the night but he would always leave. Against all odds, he survived the freezing weather like the good strong boy he was. But, he never stayed outside my house for more than a few hours. He was a wanderer and I always wondered where he went.
In the warmer weather, he wandered more and I would just barely catch him for when he came by for meal time. But, last Thursday I noticed he hadn’t come by to eat at all which I didn’t think was odd at first since he’s gone days without visiting before but on my way to work as I was driving I found him in the middle of the road. He had been run over and had died who knows when. No words can describe how horrified I was, how I horrified bystanders by screaming and crying in the middle of the road, and how angry I still am at myself.
He had survived a year out here, I thought he was always cleverly careful but I was naive. People aren’t always nice to cats around here and people drive like maniacs. I should have known better. I had him in my house! I should have kept him there! I should have researched cat rescue more, I should have put in more effort instead of making excuses of how extremely busy I am. I had him in my house and I should have kept him there even if he was panicking and screaming! Now it’s too late, and my poor sweet boy who was probably looking for his home this whole time, who was probably heading to my house for our daily breakfast was killed and I can never take that back. I wasn’t even there to say goodbye. I wasn’t able to give him the life he deserved and I will have to live with this the rest of my life.
I called him ‘Toast’ because he looked like an adorable piece of toast. He was the sweetest, gentlest cat. He was full of love and full of life and he didn’t deserve all this pain and suffering. If my story can be a lesson to anyone, it would be 1. Please, for the love of everything, don’t abandon your pets. They aren’t objects, they aren’t toys, they are living creatures who have feelings. They feel love, hurt, and betrayal. And if you dump them outside and leave them, they will die. They will suffer and die brutally, so why would anyone do that? How could a sweet cat be dumped on the streets? He did nothing wrong, all he wanted was a home.
2. Don’t hesitate. Don’t be like me and wait too long, you never know when that chance day will come where the poor cat will be at the wrong place at the wrong time.
thanks for reading, I just needed to get this out there. It hurts so much to know that I failed him. I helped him suffer as little as possible through the winter but in the end I didn’t save him, he never deserved this kind of pain. The people who abandoned him and hit him and left him, are a special kind of monster. If I could have a single wish, it would be to go back in time to stop this from happening. But it’s too late. Now I can’t stop checking the porch window to see if by some miracle it was a different cat, but I know it was him, I know he’s buried behind our house. But I keep waiting for him even though I know he won’t be there.
I truly hope that he is in a better place, that the cats I’ve lost before can look out for him now. And I really desperately hope one day I can see him again to tell him how very sorry I am for not doing enough and to tell him that there were some humans in this life that loved him with all their hearts.