To my Pipsqueak, with love, whom I lost one year ago today.

feralvr

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I sit here looking at this blank white page and trying to figure out how to start. LOL. Can't believe it has been a year, and I feel finally ready to post a tribute.

Losing Pipsqueak a year ago was a complete shock and so sudden. In just two weeks time, he went from what vet and I thought was a virus to having exploratory surgery to find he had a huge tumor on his liver that had burst and leaking poison into his abdomen. We decided to go ahead with the surgery because I HAD to know if there was anything at all we could do to potentially save his life - possibly thinking it was a foreign object. But, no, it was much worse than that. We had to let him go on the table. It was liver cancer that had spread tumors up his vile duct as well. Never showed any signs before those two weeks. BUT - knowing my Pip, he would have never gone out any other way. Quick and swift with no time to do anything else but to just let him go - on his terms. YUP. That's how Pipsqueak lived his short life of eight years. ON his terms. He would have never wanted to go through mega tests, many medications and procedures to keep him going. Nope. He would want leaving this earth to go no other way than it did.

He was the BOSS - and I mean that BIG TIME - of the house. Small kitty - about nine pounds compared to my other fatties, but he ruled the roost. Dogs, people and cats alike. Pipsqueak did everything, EVERYTHING, with full on gusto and gumption. Even using the litter box was a huge production and mess. He would walk me to the door each and everyday of his life whenever I had to leave the house and insisted that I toss his puff ball. A favorite toy to carry around and howl all the while doing so. Upon my return, I would find a few puff balls by the door on the floor as I walked in the house. He watched my every move and monitored the other cats like a sergeant. He was a true cat soldier with a HUGE heart. When one of the dogs got out of line OR if Wendall made Perla hiss or scream - in came the white tornado, fast as lightening to pounce and control the situation. The dogs and other kitties respected Pip completely. I learned quickly over the years to keep calm and not yell out for any reason after one time when I dropped my cup of coffee in the kitchen and screamed - OH S!!!. Pip came roaring in and was on top of Wilbur, of course blaming him for my outburst. So I learned to tread lightly and calmly which was something I look back on and realize that he taught me.

Pipsqueak taught me a lot. Today I will try not to cry, though I miss him every day and will forever, but will celebrate the gift of him in my life, the blessing I was bestowed upon being the one to share part of my life with such a marvelous and stupendous, great in scope, and so much importance that it was truly amazing kitty. He was courageous and lived his life, each and every day he had, to the fullest of it's potential. I am trying to mirror his qualities and cherish our memories. I am grateful to him and feel I am a better person because of Pipsqueak. I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, My Soldier Angel, Pipsqueak. :rbheart: :soldier: :touch:

As a 12 week old kitten:

Always talking:

Pipsqueak loved Perkins:

Pipsqueak and Wendall:

Pipsqueak ADORED and CHERISHED Perla. Her protector and guardian.

Giving my RB Wilbur a kiss. Pipsqueak LOVED Wilbur too. Though, Wilbur never knew what he was up to or would do next. LOL.

He could be quite devilish at times!!!

Another one with Perkins. Perkins surely misses him, still.

I loved him so.

Wendall is missing in this one, I do have one with all six on the bed - somewhere!!! BUT I will never see this again, all cats on one bed together. That only happened when all the cats felt safe, especially Perla, to be that close under his watchful eye.

The last three days of Pip's life, Perla did not leave his side for long:

When we returned home from the vet after we let him go, I found this on our bed. He mustered the strength, one last time, to leave me a puff ball in a very special place.............. :touch: :touch: ok - shedding a few tears.....

Pipsqueak - I know you are ruling the holy heavens up there. I know you are with me, in my heart, watching over us and that we will someday, one day, be together again. You were my once-in-a-lifetime kitty, VERY, VERY special, and I will never forget the lessons you taught me and the love, GREAT LOVE, you gave to me. I will take that love, and share it as long as I can, because there surely was plenty of it.
 
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Columbine

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:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

What a beautiful tribute to a VERY special boy :rbheart: (and you have me crying right along with you :touch: ) Pipsqueak was just stunning, and his soul shines through in those pictures. What a blessing to have had him in your life :grphug2:
 

di and bob

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These anniversaries are always so bittersweet, your love for that very special kitty shines through. Pipsqueak sounds like a character, his personality is truly unique, the wonderful memories you carry of him will comfort you for the rest of your life. Although he is terribly missed, his presence is very much still a part of your family, the bond he formed with each and every one of you can never be taken away, not even by death. I am so saddened by the passing of one who was so loved, so cared for, it breaks my heart to imagine what you and your little family has gone through. Please accept my heartfelt condolences, only those who have been dealt this agony know the pain you are going through. RIP sweet Pipsqueak, you are so dearly loved, and will be forever held in loving hearts!  
 

catwoman707

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Okay all teary eyed here!!

Wow, it's been a year.......................seems like just a couple months ago.

I know it's been a long road for you, and I also know that you never really get over the loss, or the pain, you slowly learn to accept it as real, and to cope and live.

You have been deeply touched by his soul and that will never go, life changing. Endless memories.

Glad you're okay, I have missed you missy!! 
 

zed xyzed

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What character he was. Losing someone with such a big personality leaves a huge hole in your life. I am sorry you lost Pip. Thank you for sharing him with us, Ok that puff ball picture made me lose it  

 
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my4llma

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Oh what beautiful pictures of Pipsqueak. What wonderful memories you have of him. He was a very lucky cat to have found you. I know how special he was to you. My only regret for both of you is that your time together wasn't long enough. I'm so sorry that he is gone, but I know he is never far from you. I'm sorry. 
 

peppy6

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What a beautiful tribute to your Pipsqueak and great pictures!  I am so so sorry for your loss but so very happy to see the sweet memories and love left behind in your world by the little guy.  May those continue to make you smile!
 

jenny82

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I'm sorry for your loss. Pipsqueak was very loved! RIP.
 

ruthm

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I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Pip, these anniversaries are so difficult, I know! Your tribute is so touching and I love the pictures. It was so neat that you received that last puffball from your boy!  Thank you for sharing this tribute, I know how much it hurts to write the words.
 

riley1

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What a sweat tribute to your baby!  I remember this last year.  Go ahead & cry!  Know that Pipsqueak is right there beside you basking in the love you have for him.
 

ldg

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When we returned home from the vet after we let him go, I found this on our bed. He mustered the strength, one last time, to leave me a puff ball in a very special place.............. :touch: :touch: ok - shedding a few tears.....

Ok, I'm bawling. :bawling: Oh Pip.... :heart2:

Oh my, Lauren, what a lovely tribute to your little soldier! :soldier: (I think that smiley was designed just for him!) I don't remember seeing kitten pictures of him, and wow wow WOW what an adorable baby!

I know his loss had a big impact on all of you - with a purrsonality like that, it has to. :nod: And I know there's a lot to be thankful for - he didn't suffer, he went on his own terms, and it WAS quick... and I know you want to practice that same courage - but a love like that hurts when they leave us, there's just no way around that. Being able to grieve doesn't detract one iota, IMO, from the love - or their lessons in strength, courage, and living life to its fullest. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Pip will always soldier on in your heart. :heart2: :rbheart: :soldier:
 
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goholistic

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I'm so sorry for your loss, @Feralvr.   
  Such a beautiful tribute to your dear boy. He was very handsome with unique coloring.
 
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feralvr

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:touch: :hugs: Thank you all so very much for your kind and loving words! :hugs: :hugs: :heart3: A year has gone by but still there is always a bit of sorrow that lingers on from missing Pip's physical presence in the home. Oddly, (only because it did not seem to be his personality to me anyway) - it seems that Presley has taken on the role of kitty controller and ruler if the need arises. It took a couple of months for the social dynamics to work themselves out without Pip. We all must go on in life and find a new way to carry on each day without that special little spirit and it can be almost harder on the kitties left behind when they must redefine themselves and their roles in the household.

We all have to go through this painful process of loss when we love and care for our dear pets because, as it should be, we most likely outlive them. Some become more entwined into our hearts, a bit more special in a way, touch us more deeply than others and that makes losing even that much harder. They, of course, are all special and well loved but there seems, to me anyway, a few that the bond and connection goes so much deeper and can never be found again!!! That was Pipsqueak and also my Wilbur, dog. :heart3: :rbheart: Someone once told me this and I like to share it; that all of that great love we shared and constantly gave back and forth for years cannot be taken with them to the bridge. They leave it here to fill us up and share with other's who need it, to pass it on. And, that makes me smile amidst the sadness. The love never dies !!!!!!!!! :Shooting Star: :sun: :Moon: :rbheart:
 
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nurseangel

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Pipsqueak was such a handsome and special gentleman.  Thank you for sharing his story and the beautiful pictures.  
 

peaches08

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Oh the puffball...that got me too. Wonderful tribute!
 
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