Tipping at restaraunts

[cdubbie]

When I was a food server...no tip, regardless of service, was considered to be beyond rude by the patron. Small tip meant they were cheap or they didnt like something (service,the food etc).

I've left small tips a few times....and it was REALLY REALLY hard for me. (I'm usually such an overtipper)

Once I left zero tip b/c the waiter refused to explain where the total came from handwritten on our check. Our food and drinks would only have equaled $26 before tax or so...but the bill was for $37. We didnt know if this was an automatic tip or what...and the server would not say. I had to assume he was scamming - since I saw that in restaurants by servers I worked in - and we were *so* obviously tourists in this shi-shi Soho bistro.

They had the best eggs benedict I've ever had in my life though...I hope the server doesnt still work there, b/c I'd like to go back again!

 

[arlyn]

With really bad service, I leave two pennies, it sends a very clear message (I've only ever done this three times).
Usually, depending on the service and party size, I'll leave between 5% and 20%.

 

[cdubbie]

The penny thing is tricky b/c if you leave an adequate tip PLUS one penny...it means "GREAT service!"

I think two pennies or just one and no tip would confuse me.

 

[babyharley]

I ususally tip pretty well, depending on the service. If my server is rude, I won't tip at all, or just leave a penny or something small like that. If the food is bad, I'll say something, but if the server is nice, I won't take it out on their tip, its not their fault!

Last week I was out eating with my friend and the server was HORRIBLE. She was so mean and so rude. I should have left at least $5, but I didn't leave anything, I was so mad, I complained at the front tho!

 

[tari]

I used to waitress, so I know what it's like to work for tips (and to work your butt off for not a whole lot of money). I always tip at least 20% if the service is at least decent.

If the service is bad, I try to see if there's a legitimate reason for it. If my server is obviously running around like a crazy person, I assume they got double or triple sat and try to be patient. If that's not the case and they're just ignoring me I'll first try to politely bring it to the attention of the server and give them a chance to correct the problem. If that doesn't work, I'll speak with the manager. If service is still awful, I'll leave a really small tip so they know it was intentional and I didn't just forget. (Though it should come as no surprise to them because by that point I've probably already spoken to them and to their manager.)

I've found, though, that truly awful service happens more frequently when a restaurant is slow than when they're busy. When they're slow the servers are more likely to stand around talking to each other or take a break and just ignore their tables.

 

[vampirecat]

I only tip if the service was good or exceptional. I wont leave a tip for bad service.

However i will say that here in the Uk we dont have a 'tipping' culture as in many other countries. A lot of the time service is included in the final bill.

We did tip a lot in the restaurant when on holiday in Cuba, but the service there was exceptional

Happy smiling staff is all i ask for, delays in food from the kitchen or under staffing is not the fault of the waiters/waitresses and this rarely affects whether i leave a tip or not.

 

[lakeriedog]

I waited tables as a teenager, so I normally tip very well (20% is my usual tip) but if the service is bad then the tip is going to be 10% or less. If the service is exceptional, I tip more than 20%. Certainly if the wait staff are running from table to table I wouldn't count that against them, and I don't blame bad food on a wait staff either. Stopping by and letting customers know you are swamped or offering to replace something that is bad goes a long way for good customer service.

Tipping for a buffet is one thing that I have never understood, I have to get the meal for myself and then I am expected to tip the person who brought me a diet coke. They could just put the glasses out next to the coke machine, and I would serve myself! I will usually just leave $2.00 - $5.00 depending on how many people in our party.

I think that it is a real crime that restaurants in this country are allowed to pay less than the minimum wage. In San Francisco they passed a living wage ordinance which requires restaurants to pay a decent wage to the workers (something like $8.50 an hour) and the cost of a meal went up, but not by all that much. I would rather be charged what it cost to bring the meal to the table, rather than to be put in the position where I have to decide the hourly wage of the employee based on their job performance.

To the current wait staff reading this, you should know that many of your customers may have waited tables at one time in their life and so we will be looking at all the same things you look for when you eat out. Personally, I don't care one hoot if you tell me your name or not, friendly is optional but I am looking at:

clean table and set up
getting the menu and drinks out within 15 minutes
timing of appetizers
checking at least one time after the meal is served
drink refills
offer deserts
prompt delivery of the check after everyone has finished eating

 

[erinandseamus]

Originally Posted by Godiva

I so hear you!!

I'm a waitress at an Olive Garden right now part time. We do have a lot more to do than servers at most restaurants... people take advantage of the salad and breadsticks thing! Last night, I had someone get five salads... which is fine, but a real pain in the butt when I get triple sat and I'm trying o take care of my other tables too.

If you are taking your time at the table (thus not allowing other people to come in), tip a little more... if you got only salad and breadsticks, tip a little more, especially if you got a few refills.

I like being a waitress... but I think a lot of people just don't understand how complicated it is to make things work. A lot has to do with the kitchen staff. Most things aren't the server's fault unless they just plain forgot something.

As I former Olive Garden server, I can totally relate. People at lunch will kill you, eating their weight in salad, soup, and breadstick refills, and then act like they're doing you a favor by leaving you $1.00 on a $5.95 bill. Thanks for nothing.

I also the second the person complaining about gift card tipping. I nearly cried in front of a table one time when they paid with a gift card, had $2.00 to pay in cash, complimented me on my great service and left me $0.50!

One time, I honestly forgot to send the food for a table. They finally stopped me and asked where their food was. I was mortified that I had forgotten and explained that it was all my fault, not the kitchens, and they still left me 15% and thanked me for my honesty.

But regarding the question of how I handle bad service...usually it doesn't happen for us. Honestly, I have never left less then 15%. My standard is 20%. Most of my restaurant complaints can be broken down into food complaints. I know that the server isn't the chef, so I'll mention the problem to them, give them an opportunity to correct it and I appreciate a table visit from management if I do complain. I have been known to send emails via company websites if I feel management is slacking in this regard. That being said, the last time my husband and I went out for lunch, I was a little peeved by the server, but I couldn't tell if she was brand new and uncertain of check placement timing, or if it was a standard set by the restaurant that she was just complying with. Either way it was annoying, but we left her 15%.

 

[laureen227]

Originally Posted by Slater

If you receive really bad service at a restaraunt, do you leave a smaller tip or none at all? I tend to leave at least something unless the service is abysmally bad.

you should always leave something. if the service is bad, you leave an intentionally tiny tip. if you leave nothing, they may think you just forgot.i also will write a note if i'm leaving a small tip for poor service.

 

[crittermom]

None at all.

 

[rapunzel47]

Originally Posted by lakeriedog

... prompt delivery of the check after everyone has finished eating

The easiest way to see your tip diminish at my table is to fall down on this one. I don't want to be rushed away, but when I'm done, I don't want to be trapped waiting to settle the bill, either. In fact, the message that sends me is "you matter only as long as you might spend more money on this visit". Even if that is true, only give me that idea if you want to make sure I won't come back.

 

[erinandseamus]

I've noticed this more and more lately. The early check delivery. While you're still eating in fact. It's very annoying

 

[esrgirl]

Don't forget that just because the restaurant appears or mostly is empty that there is a good chance that your server is the only one there. Take working at the OG for instance, I might have five different tables in five different sections, because people request certain areas. The alley worker (the one who keeps the salad area in shape, amoung a billion other things might have been sent home. The prep person who does breadsticks might have been sent home. I have one other coworker with me, who also has five tables spread everywhere, and the GM keeps himself locked in his office. I'm literally baking your bread, making your salad, melting the stupid butter so you can get free dipping sauce, mixing your drinks at the bar because the bartender was phased, and running my butt to get five zillion refills of the soup, salad, and bread, to get a two dollar tip.

Needless to say, I was very happy to get to the end of my grad school. I loved waitressing, but sometimes it was hell. And at a restaurant where "Hot Food Go Can't Say No!" was plastered all over the walls, if the food comes out cold it wasn't my fault. I'm a server, not a cook or thermometer!

Ok, off my soapbox!

I've had crappy service though, so I know where you all are coming from. Waiting 45 minute for a greeting at Applebees, the ever fun experience of a Cincinatti Steak and Shake, or the server who kept cutting me off and guessing my order at a Steak and Shake in Muncie. Or the worst ever experience at Don Pablos here in Fort Wayne- boy, that was atrocious. We just ask for a manager.

Oh, and at lunch at the Olive Garden we had a "check back, check down" requirement. We had to check on your food three minutes after delivery and drop the check. Different restaurants have different check dropping times. If worse comes to worse we'll just put our Visa on the table.

 

[godiva]

I always ask after they're about halfway done with their meal... we're supposed to drop the check then, but I find it makes people feel rushed... so I just say, "Would you like a check now or would you like me to wait a little while?" Sometimes I'm too busy to give that kind of personalized service, so I'll drop the check but say, "There is no hurry. You take your time, I'm not trying to rush you, I promise. I just thought I'd drop it while I have a moment." People rarely believe me, but it's true.

The tough thing about serving is that every customer is different and has different expectations. You have to size up your guests without asking too many questions so you don't upset them... some want to be out of there quickly, some want to wait way longer than the computerized system will allow between courses, some want to be offered dessert, some think you're just trying to sell them more food. It's not easy to decipher what your guests really want without going into a full out interview beforehand, and you can't use the same formula for every table.

The hardest thing is when you've just dropped a couple checks and then you get sat two more tables. You end up with four tables mad at you because you couldn't get their drinks in the first few minutes they sat down or you didn't get them their change/credit slip in a couple minutes... you end up having to choose which people to piss off.

 

[godiva]

Originally Posted by esrgirl

Don't forget that just because the restaurant appears or mostly is empty that there is a good chance that your server is the only one there. Take working at the OG for instance, I might have five different tables in five different sections, because people request certain areas. The alley worker (the one who keeps the salad area in shape, amoung a billion other things might have been sent home. The prep person who does breadsticks might have been sent home. I have one other coworker with me, who also has five tables spread everywhere, and the GM keeps himself locked in his office. I'm literally baking your bread, making your salad, melting the stupid butter so you can get free dipping sauce, mixing your drinks at the bar because the bartender was phased, and running my butt to get five zillion refills of the soup, salad, and bread, to get a two dollar tip.

Needless to say, I was very happy to get to the end of my grad school. I loved waitressing, but sometimes it was hell. And at a restaurant where "Hot Food Go Can't Say No!" was plastered all over the walls, if the food comes out cold it wasn't my fault. I'm a server, not a cook or thermometer!

Oh, and at lunch at the Olive Garden we had a "check back, check down" requirement. We had to check on your food three minutes after delivery and drop the check. Different restaurants have different check dropping times. If worse comes to worse we'll just put our Visa on the table.

I can so relate!! I swear, the Olive Garden must be one of the worst places to be a server. There are so many extra little things that people run you around for, and I don't think people realize this. I usually have to make my own salads too... and breadsticks, argh... our store is usually so busy that we're out, so I end up taking two breadsticks to a table of four people, and bringing them out as they are done. It's incredibly time consuming, and I can't take care of my other tables because of it!

And the Hot Food Go thing is awful... if you happened to be in the kitchen and you aren't making your salad and breadsticks, they expect you to run other people's food even if your own food is sitting there, or no matter how busy you are (and you're just running through to grab something to go or melt some butter). That REALLY bugs me.

Sorry, rant mode off.

I've found that (perhaps because I got my waitressing start at the horribly unjust Olive Garden) I am very forgiving wherever I go to eat. There are so many factors out of the server's control, and good service is mainly due to luck, if you ask me!

Of course, waiting forever for drinks and rude servers are different... but if they're trying, then I don't hold it against them. I went out to relax and enjoy my company, not nit-pick the service I'm getting, unless it's absolutely horrible.

 

[tari]

Originally Posted by esrgirl

Don't forget that just because the restaurant appears or mostly is empty that there is a good chance that your server is the only one there.

I definitely hear you, and agree with you, on that one. I don't assume that just because I don't see a server it means they aren't busy. But...have you ever been in at restaurant when you're trying to get the attention of someone (anyone) but you can't. You can see all of the servers standing around the drink station talking but none of them are paying any attention? I know it's perfectly natural for them to want to talk with each other, but noting irritates me faster.

 

[godiva]

Originally Posted by Tari

I definitely hear you, and agree with you, on that one. I don't assume that just because I don't see a server it means they aren't busy. But...have you ever been in at restaurant when you're trying to get the attention of someone (anyone) but you can't. You can see all of the servers standing around the drink station talking but none of them are paying any attention? I know it's perfectly natural for them to want to talk with each other, but noting irritates me faster.

There's a good explanation for that behavior... they assume the server assigned to your table is taking care of you. Servers don't typically tip each other out, so they know that they probably won't get compensated for helping you. It's sad, but it's not like in an hourly job where everyone gets paid the same. I've found that we servers are very selfish... we only provide good service to our own tables because we don't want want other servers to benefit from our diligence. However, if a server personally asks another server for help, there is no problem... we take care of each other like that. I'm not sure why there is a difference.

Now, if the customer is nice about flagging me down and they aren't my table and I'm not that busy, I get what they ask for with a smile and no hard feelings for not getting the tip for it. But if you're waving your hand wildly and being rude to me, I am less inclined to help you out.

Honestly though, where I work, it's never slow enough to just be standing around chatting. If you don't see me running to other tables, I'm in the kitchen making something, running food to the other side of the restaurant, or trying to track down a manager. I just don't have time to take care of my own tables, let alone random tables that rudely flag me down. People just need to be more patient. Fast food culture has taken over in restaurants that you are supposed to take your time in!!

 

[lakeriedog]

Originally Posted by Godiva

I've found that we servers are very selfish... we only provide good service to our own tables because we don't want want other servers to benefit from our diligence.

That is one of the reasons that I think all restaurant workers should be paid a decent living wage. If everyone working in the restaurant were guaranteed a decent paycheck, the staff could work more as a team.

 

[esrgirl]

I always helped out other servers and never expected to get in on their tip. If a table sat for more than 3 minutes and the server hadn't shown yet I'd go to the table and welcome them- tell them the server would be there soon. Usually the other server was in the bathroom or something. I'd take out drinks, set up salad, even take out everything if my partner was being killed. We had some hosts that would double seat a partner, while not seating the other at all, etc. I got triple sat with 3 seven tops once, while my partner didn't get anything. We helped each other out, especially at the Muncie OG, but also at the Ft. Wayne one too.

I've waited up to 45 minutes with not even a greet at Applebees before, that is totally unacceptable. I know there are some horrible servers out there! It's funny to see so many OG servers here!

 

[godiva]

Originally Posted by esrgirl

I always helped out other servers and never expected to get in on their tip. If a table sat for more than 3 minutes and the server hadn't shown yet I'd go to the table and welcome them- tell them the server would be there soon. Usually the other server was in the bathroom or something. I'd take out drinks, set up salad, even take out everything if my partner was being killed. We had some hosts that would double seat a partner, while not seating the other at all, etc. I got triple sat with 3 seven tops once, while my partner didn't get anything. We helped each other out, especially at the Muncie OG, but also at the Ft. Wayne one too.

I've waited up to 45 minutes with not even a greet at Applebees before, that is totally unacceptable. I know there are some horrible servers out there! It's funny to see so many OG servers here!

I'm not really talking about that kind of stuff... because I/we do all that too. Mainly, what I'm talking about is the rude people who flag you down, screaming, "hey!! hey!! I need some olives!" when all they needed was a refill on a glass that is half full, extra olives, or something trivial... when it isn't your table. I don't like to be treated like that, so I just say I will tell their server (and I do tell their server, and if they're busy and I'm not, I'll actually get it myself) and move to my own business, unless it is something that actually NEED (like as you said, drinks, or whatever).

And ugh... we have that problem at my place too! They like to triple seat some servers, while some wait an hour for their first table. Makes no sense.

Oh well... such is life. I think I'd have a better time at a more upscale place... the OG doesn't exactly attract classy or polite people.