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Time To Say Goodbye To Our 20 Year Old Cat.

Discussion in 'Crossing the Bridge' started by mapper, Sep 9, 2019.

  1. mapper

    mapper Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    49
    18
    Mar 14, 2016
    The time has come to say goodbye to our nearly 20 year old cat. She has been with my husband longer than I have and it is hard for me, but it is extremely hard for him. For about 10 days now she has had labored breathing, the type that makes you really unsettled when you are near her. She hasn’t eaten in the past 3 days and has barely had any water. She spends her time under the bed or will occasionally hop up to the window seat and lie there all day. We decided Friday that we’d take her in this week to be euthanized. I had been hoping that she would just pass in her sleep over the weekend so we wouldn’t have to have to do that, taking that decision out of our hands, but that hasn’t happened. My husband will take her in tomorrow or Wednesday to have it done. I have to say goodbye to her before I go to work because I would be an absolute wreck if I had to be there. We know she has had a wonderful life and she is ready to be relieved of all her pain, but it is still so hard. We have three other cats so we will at least have others to come home to.
     
    CatLover49 and les26 purraised this.

  2. les26

    les26 Sylvester's daddy Top Cat

    1,441
    2,449
    Nov 19, 2015
    Emmaus, Pennsylvania
    This is always so so hard, the down side of having pets, but the upside is so great, but no matter how many years it is never long enough. But she had a WONDERFUL life with you all, she knows it and thanks you for it, and she will be whole again on the other side, and when you see her again one day it will be wonderful.

    "Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

    I am sorry for your upcoming loss, I know how hard it is. I hope your hearts heal a bit more each day, Lord Bless you....:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
     
    Tik cat's mum and will2002 purraised this.

  3. KarenKat

    KarenKat Kitty on the half shell, tortie power! Top Cat

    2,508
    5,429
    Apr 4, 2018
    Littleton, CO
    In so sorry to hear about your long time furry companion. My heart is with you today. What a wonderful life you all shared together. :heartshape::angel3:
     
    Tik cat's mum and will2002 purraised this.

  4. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    20,110
    27,010
    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    I am so, so sorry. My heart is with yours. When you know the time, let me know, and I will light a candle for her.
     
    les26, Tik cat's mum and will2002 purraised this.

  5. Purr-fect

    Purr-fect TCS Member Top Cat

    1,231
    3,499
    Apr 20, 2017
    Im sorry for all of you.

    We have been thru this and it hurts.

    Every situation is different, but I try to let the remaining cat(s) sniff and "say goodbye" to the departed cat when possible. Some cats are very bonded and if their buddy suddenly disappears and they dont know why, I think it can bring them added stress.

    My thoughts: Try to plan "the day" to have as few other stresses as possible. Cook dinner ahead of time. Go to bed early, spend extra time with your other cats, hot bath, glass of wine.....do something you enjoy if possible. Decide ahead of time if you will be cremating or burial. If burial....where? You dont want to make these decisions immediately after the event...its already devastating.
     

  6. mapper

    mapper Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    49
    18
    Mar 14, 2016
    Thank you all. My husband will be taking her in shortly after they open tomorrow morning. We plan on having a private cremation and getting her ashes back. We have two of our other cats buried in the back yard but he wanted to have her cremated so she can go with us if we ever move as she was quite special to him.

    She was always a loner and never really got along with our other cats. However, our others would try and come and sit next to her and she would protest, but then she would give in and let them sleep next to her. I'm not sure they will necessarily miss her but they will sense her absence.

    I am honestly hoping for her to pass overnight tonight to alleviate the stress of having to bring her in.
     
    les26 purraised this.

  7. DreamerRose

    DreamerRose TCS Member Top Cat

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    4,962
    Dec 11, 2015
    Naperville, IL
    I am so sorry. This is always difficult, no matter what the circumstances. After all these years, it's even more difficult. :vibes::vibes::vibes:
     

  8. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    20,110
    27,010
    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    Since she is going early tomorrow, I'll light that candle now, to show her the way Home. She'll be there waiting for you when it is your turn, you know.

    00LitCandle.jpeg
     
    di and bob and les26 purraised this.

  9. mapper

    mapper Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    49
    18
    Mar 14, 2016
    Thank you!
     

  10. Mamanyt1953

    Mamanyt1953 Rules my home with an iron paw Staff Member Forum Helper

    20,110
    27,010
    Oct 16, 2015
    Havelock, North Carolina
    You are so welcome. As I said, hugs, Darlin. Hugs.
     
    les26 purraised this.

  11. les26

    les26 Sylvester's daddy Top Cat

    1,441
    2,449
    Nov 19, 2015
    Emmaus, Pennsylvania
    This is beautiful, where's my hanky? :( :bawling2:
     

  12. di and bob

    di and bob TCS Member Top Cat

    9,584
    9,684
    Dec 12, 2012
    Nebraska, USA
    No matter how much you prepare your heart for the unimaginable, when the time actually comes it is devastating to say the least. You are giving her the peace of slipping away quickly and quietly, instead of fighting against the darkness as all living creatures do when their time approaches. My Burt died at home in my arms and it added much stress to an already stressfukl situation. You are doing the kind thing, the merciful thing, she deserves no less.
    Be prepared to feel all the emotions that grieving brings...guilt, misgivings, incredible sadness and most of all an emptiness that will linger for months, even years. Try not to dwell on her end, to make it define what she meant to you. It only brings hardache and changes nothing.
    None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, that she was blessed to spend twenty years with those she loved above all else, and so are you. It is a testament to the good care and the love she received. None of us ever want to have our world changed, to ever lose someone who is such an important part of that life, but for some life must come to an end while those left behind are left behind to carry on the legacy that was entrusted to them. To be a witness to what love can be, and to pass on that love and help it to flourish and grow. Do not hide what she left you in a cold, dark heart. It needs your memories of happier times, your continued love, your willingness to keep her memory alive through those beautiful memories, to grow and become what it was meant to be. A time in your life that shared love as it should be.
    She will be forever as close as your thoughts and prayers. She shared your life's journey for twenty wonderful years, and though she will shortly follow a new path, it will always parallel your own. "Death cannot take that which never dies" and you know in your heart the love you share with that precious little girl will always be with you.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you on this sad, sad day. I know how much it hurts to lose someone so special. And although the pain is unique, and known only to you both, it is universal in it's depth and anguish. The pain is equal to the depth of your love. Time is the only thing that helps, take as much as you need, one day at a time...... may the good Lord gather you all in His loving arms and bring peace to your hearts, may He welcome your sweet girl joyously and keep her safe until you meet again!
     
    Tik cat's mum and Purr-fect purraised this.

  13. betsygee

    betsygee Don't believe everything you think. Staff Member Moderator

    20,361
    5,390
    Mar 17, 2013
    Monterey, CA, USA
    Oh, I'm so sorry. Even when you know that helping them cross is the right thing to do, it's a heart-wrenching decision to make. I'm thinking about you all this morning. :hugs:
     
    CatLover49 and Tik cat's mum purraised this.

  14. sheridragonfly

    sheridragonfly TCS Member Young Cat

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    Sep 17, 2018
    I am so sorry for you and your husband.

    A stray kitten came to our home to the yard 11 years ago
    and my husband let me have an outdoor cat in earlier years

    but he did not
    enjoy cats..

    Bro, this kitten must have known he had to get larry to love him

    because Bro would jump into the recliner and watch college football with my husband

    and Bro would sleep on his lap stretched
    out..

    I sure feel for your husband also

    because its hard for some men to show emotion...

    and losing a cat or dog to them
    is devastating and they are not able to talk about it..
    or reach out to others as much as women do

    I had to drive us home because my husband cried so hard
    during the euthanizing as we petted and stayed with Bro
    during the process..Bro smiled as he was passing away and leaving us on the table.

    So our hearts go out to you both.
    Sheri , Larry and Lily
     
    Tik cat's mum purraised this.

  15. mapper

    mapper Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    49
    18
    Mar 14, 2016
    This is turning out to be a horrible experience for my husband! We’ve taken our pets to this startup practice for the past 5 years. I’ve always thought about going somewhere else, but they are so much cheaper than other places. I emailed them yesterday telling them we want to euthanize our cat and the girl wrote back to just call them and let them know when you’ll be there and they’ll make sure an empty room is available. My husband called them at 10AM and said he’d be there around 10:30. He has been there for a 1 ½ hours and they have him waiting out in the lobby with everyone else! How horrible to have to sit there with everyone else while you are waiting to euthanize your pet.
     

  16. CatLover49

    CatLover49 My Precious Snowball Super Cat

    1,044
    1,257
    Feb 8, 2018
    Reidsville NC
    Im so VERY SORRY....May yas baby be at peace....
     

  17. CatLover49

    CatLover49 My Precious Snowball Super Cat

    1,044
    1,257
    Feb 8, 2018
    Reidsville NC
    Ipeace....IM SO SORRY:alright:
     

  18. CatLover49

    CatLover49 My Precious Snowball Super Cat

    1,044
    1,257
    Feb 8, 2018
    Reidsville NC
    May ure kitty RIP...So VERY sorry little kitty..Bless ure heart sweet kitty:grouphug2::redheartpump::heartshape::petcat::angelcat::catrub:
     

  19. sheridragonfly

    sheridragonfly TCS Member Young Cat

    23
    28
    Sep 17, 2018
    You need to call that office and speak to the office manager or one of the vets now..

    Tell them that your husband was barely able to go there today to euthanize his cat...that you were told to come on it and he has been waiting …..how ever long...

    Then when its over

    write the vet a letter to him and mail it..

    Tell him how you felt and how you were treated...nicely but firmly..include a picture of your cat and If I had one extra of your husband with the cat ...in the letter..

    Our vet takes us in pretty quick..

    they know we are all to pieces
    and that this is heart breaking..even for the vet...
    Sheri and Lily
     
    Tik cat's mum purraised this.

  20. mapper

    mapper Thread Starter TCS Member Young Cat

    49
    18
    Mar 14, 2016
    I didn't think any vet would let someone sit with the other clients when they have come to end their pet's life. Especially to sit and wait for that long. It is a walk-in clinic and I'm sure they have to see everyrone in order, but he did call. At least put him in another room!
     
    Tik cat's mum and CatLover49 purraised this.

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