Thinking Of Returning New Kitten

[PinkSox]

Hello all,

I know I posted awhile ago about my resident cat being very displeased with the new 13 week old kitten I introduced into the house, but now I really don't know what to do.

I introduced the two slowly and separated them and allowed them to meet each other from behind the door, through the baby gate, feeding near one another, giving treats, and playing with the kitten in front of my resident cat so he could just watch him from a distance.

Well despite no violence happening, my resident cat seems to hate the new kitten - whenever he is let out when I come home from work he begins to yowl and cry. He paces through the house yowling and crying and now (An exclusively indoor only cat) is constantly trying to get out of the house. He also has become more aggressive and defiant with me. I formerly had no issues trimming his nails or using the soft claws caps on his nails, but he now nips and runs away when I attempt to doing any of this.

In addition I noticed a small bit of urine on one of the ottomans I have in my room. I'm taking him to the vet to be sure it isn't anything medical as he was also yowling in the litter box when trying to urinate so there is a potential medical problem happening, but I don't know. I don't believe he was spraying/marking because it was more like a small puddle and it wasn't on a vertical surface.

Furthermore whenever I let the kitten out, my cat will nip me sometimes as he's pacing around the house yowling. He yowls when he does it so I don't believe he is doing it aggressively, but it's just shocking to see a formerly calm and happy cat so stressed and displeased.

My resident cat was formerly housed with other cats and did absolutely fine. The kitten I chose had a littermate. He is a relatively calm kitten (Even the vet commented on his very laid back attitude).

My cat seems incredibly annoyed whenever the kitten just comes up to him at all. He enjoys playing with the kitten but only rarely will he engage with the kitten or even me if the kitten is out and about.

It's coming up on three weeks now and things seem to be getting worse, not better, since my cat loves to scratch everything up I can't leave him out and about unsupervised without nail caps on and then he wants the kitten locked away all the time. Of course the kitten is very clingy and wants to be around both myself and my resident cat as much as possible.

What do I do here exactly? I feel like I have to choose between my resident cat or the new kitten all of the time and I'd just like us all to get along as a group instead of having to keep them separated or deal with my cat's apparent moodiness and stress.

I'm starting to think I may have to return the new kitten? Of course I don't want it to come to this as I'm already very attached to him, but I don't want to put my resident cat's health/happiness at risk either.

Any suggestions on this would be greatly appreciated!

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! The yowling in the litterbox is indicating to me that you're being very smart getting him to the vet, because I believe there is a medical issue going on.
If you can, hang in there with the kitten until you hear from the vet about your older kitty.

 

[jen]

I agree. He doesn't sound like he has an issue with the new kitten. Especially if he plays with the kitten sometimes. Sounds like something medical might be going on.

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi again

Let us know what the vet says...

 

[PinkSox]

Hi all,

I got my resident cat into the vet ASAP as sometimes I think it's hard to tell when cats are in pain/depressed/stressed out. They are moody creatures, well, at least my resident cat is.

The vet said he did not have a blockage and could tell that his bladder was empty by feeling. He did say that he believed my cat might have an infection or even simply bladder disease. He also hypothesized that it could very well be a stress response. I know when we first got him we took him to the vet and he had to be medicated as he had a fever and his gums appeared swollen. He was tested for both FIV and FeLV and both came back negative. He was given antibiotics and a steroid injection and that seemed to help. He had a recurrence of this and we had to take him back for a second round of injections but hadn't had further issues since. I am a little concerned about all this because for about 2 months or so now he's had diarrhea on and off. The vet wasn't sure if all of these symptoms may be tied together through stress/immune disease/infection, but he did recommend we start treatment conservatively with an antibiotic shot to see if things improve. He also recommended feliway plug ins to help with my cats anxiety (Perhaps to ease the transition with the new kitten coming into the house?). I'm a little reserved about using feliway plugins as I've heard that they don't really work? I know I've tried calming sprays for him before for car rides, but with no success. The primary things I've tried to combat his anxiety is to give him lots of scratching posts, cat towers, and comfortable places to look out the window that are basically just "his" so that he feels more confident, but I guess the kitten has sort of impeded on that territory.

As far as him and the new kitten goes, I've taken a different approach to trying to get them to get along. I know a lot of people and behaviorist recommend just letting the cats work it out, but I think my resident cat doesn't know how to stand up to/discipline/diffuse with the kitten, so I've started stepping in more. Whenever the kitten continuously pounces on my cat and my cat has given him a warning and walked away, I'll take the kitten away from him and re-direct the kitten with a toy. My cat seemed more content last night than he's been in awhile so I assume maybe he just needs some assistance in learning how to be more assertive with the kitten when he doesn't want to engage/play because although my cat has previously been housed with other cats, I believe, this is his first time being around a kitten as an adult cat, so maybe there is a bit of a learning curve for both of us? My kitten doesn't really seem to be negatively affected by me keeping him from constantly trying to play with my resident cat and seems happy enough when I distract him with a toy so I suppose this isn't doing any harm between the two.

Anyways, sorry for the long post, but I guess my question now is, is limiting the kitten's play interaction with my resident cat bad? Will this negatively affect their relationship or the kitten's disposition as an adult? Would feliway help in this situation?

 

[Furballsmom]

is limiting the kitten's play interaction with my resident cat bad? Will this negatively affect their relationship or the kitten's disposition as an adult? Would feliway help in this situation?

Hi!
In my opinion, no, no and I think no, at least not feliway - (there are fake feliway products on the market, so that complicates the use of feliway as well).

What you might do in addition to what you're already doing, is play some music from the app Relax My Cat, or kusc.org - music really helps cats be more calm.
Also, have you tried a food change, and is he getting canned food?
Has his pee been the same amount? Is he getting filtered water?

From @Brian007 ; "You could try Natura Petz Soothed and Serene All Systems Calming Capsules, which I can't vouch for per say as I don't live in the US, so haven't tried them, but I can vouch for the ingredient, valerian, contained within. It is a herbal root that has a sedative and calming action, and most cats like the smell and taste. Because it's in a capsule, it is sprinklable on food. I give my cat, Dudley, valerian treats, which he loves but I cannot find them available in the US.
I can, however, find Beaphar Cat-Calming Spot-On, which contains valerian amongst other calming herbs and would by-pass the need for eating. I have also found some cat-calming sprays in the US that contain valerian and the one that I use is very effective, but highly smelly of stinky feet. You could spray some in his basket before and during travel.

Another sprinklable thing to try are M&C Vet IQ Serene-UM Calm Tablets. Again, I can't vouch for them but can vouch for the ingredients, including the natural amino acid and vitamin L-Tryptophan and Inositol, which I also give to Dudley with magical effect. L-Tryptophan is a precursor of serotonin and melatonin and acts as an anti-depressent, anti-anxiety, and calming sleep aid. You would have to crush the tablets between two spoons in order to sprinkle but there should be very little taste or a mildly palatable taste that could be disguised in wet food.

Zylkene is another sprinklabe capsule, containing the amino acid casein, which is the soothing component found in mother's breast milk. It is quite expensive but you can buy the large dog capsules and split the powder into quarters or fifths, depending on the heaviness of your cat. A rule of thumb is 15mg of zylkene per kg of cat.

Now then, again, I've not tried zylkene (yet, I have some winging it's way in the post) but I do give Dudley Royal Canin Veterinary 'Calm' dry cat food, which contains both L-Tryphophan and casein. It works wonders. However, the smallest bag you can buy is 2kg, so it's a bit risky as to whether he'll like it or not. But, Dudley is also a super picky eater and thankfully he loves it."

 

[jen]

That is ok that you redirect the kitten if he is bothering the resident cat but I don't see there being any issue at all there. If your resident cat was really THAT upset over the kitten and the kitten was annoying him believe me he would tell the kitten what's up. It sounds like the kitten is being a kitten and it isn't too big of a deal to your cat who just walks off when he had enough. This is great interaction.

 

[1 bruce 1]

That is ok that you redirect the kitten if he is bothering the resident cat but I don't see there being any issue at all there. If your resident cat was really THAT upset over the kitten and the kitten was annoying him believe me he would tell the kitten what's up. It sounds like the kitten is being a kitten and it isn't too big of a deal to your cat who just walks off when he had enough. This is great interaction.

Also, you said he was acting put off by the kitten and was earlier being short tempered with you. He may be acting this way from whatever is going on that's causing him discomfort when peeing. Since he's played with the kitten a few times makes me think he doesn't hate him but is probably a typical adult cat that finds this kitten annoying sometimes, and on top of not feeling well, etc.
Good on P PinkSox for stepping in and defending the adult, and I'm throwing in a high five for recognizing the yowling in the box means something is wrong.
How old is the kitten now?

 

[aliceneko]

I'm not experienced on introducing two cats from different litters with one another; though have you tried separating them for a while and perhaps gradually letting your kitten and resident cat interact with one another or at least get used to each other's presence? If your kitten still bothers your resident cat you could also try to distract your kitten with toys or treats etc to lure the kitten away from your resident cat.
Good luck and I hope things go well for you all - keep hanging in there

 

[PinkSox]

Furballsmom : His pee has smelled a bit more pungent and has been less than usual, but those were the only differences I've noticed. He does get filtered water (From the same filter source I drink from) and only eats wet food. I feed him Wellness brand grain free, although when we adopted him originally he ate the grain-full food and still seems to love it compared to any of the grain free stuff I've tried. I know he still likes it because I'm still transitioning the kitten from the food he was eating at the shelter (Purina Kitten Chow) to his new food (Blue Buffalo Freedom Indoor Wet) and my cat never misses an opportunity to swoop in and try to steal some of it. lol.

I'd really be interested in trying the music. I have an Alexa dot at my house that I often leave on when I'm at work - I typically just play forrest sounds or beach sounds. My resident cat seems to enjoy the forrest sounds quite a bit, but maybe he'd like music too? I don't know though, he never seems too impressed when I sing to him. Valerian, L-Tryptophan, Inositol, and Zylkene. I think I may try valerian first as I take that to sleep most nights. Funny, I didn't know you could give it to cats as well!

jen : I don't know sometimes I get worried because he's such a baby about things. I know when I briefly lived with my sister in law (Who has two cats) both cats would hiss and growl at him and his only reaction was to cry and run to me. I don't know if he has it in him to be to aggressive, at least not to others. I know he can get annoyed with me... that being said he's never swatted at me with his claws out or bit me as of yet. I'm still waiting for the day. lol.

1 bruce 1 : That's probably true. I know he's seemed to be feeling a bit better today - tired, but better and his disposition towards me has improved. He's been more affectionate and calm so hopefully things will continue to improve. I wasn't sure whether I should defend him or not? Some people say you should just let them work it out, but I don't know. I fear the kitten will start bullying him if I try to force my cat to stand up for himself, so I decided to intervene. At least now I've been re-assured that I'm not going to hurt their relationship by doing this. I think the only reason I caught the litter box thing is because I'm a huge sucker and whenever my cat yowls I come running like an idiot. lol. The kitten is almost 16 weeks now. My resident cat was my first indoor cat ever (I only had outdoor cats that were mostly feral as a child because my grandparents didn't believe cats belonged indoors), so he's the first real kitten I've ever had. I got my resident cat when he was about 8 months so although he was young, he wasn't baby young like this little fellow. I had originally wanted to adopt an adult, but my resident cat is still pretty active for a 2 year old and the shelter people thought a kitten would make a better friend for my resident cat. Hopefully they start becoming more "friendly" soon!

aliceneko : I did do a slow introduction. It wasn't exceptionally long (4 days). I decided to introduce them face to face after the hissing and growling had stopped after doing scent swapping and feeding them on each side of a baby gate and just generally letting them get a feel for one another. When neither cat was swatting or hissing from either side of the door (I kept the kitten in the bathroom initially) is when I decided to do a face to face introduction. There wasn't any hissing or violence. In fact, I think my resident cat has hissed at him about two times and the kitten has never hissed once. But despite the lack of aggression, my resident cat still doesn't seem happy with the new arrival. I definitely have decided to start distracting the kitten more as I don't want to depress my resident cat. Hopefully he won't be as annoyed with him when he gets just a bit older. At least I hope that's how things will go.

 

[1 bruce 1]

Furballsmom : His pee has smelled a bit more pungent and has been less than usual, but those were the only differences I've noticed. He does get filtered water (From the same filter source I drink from) and only eats wet food. I feed him Wellness brand grain free, although when we adopted him originally he ate the grain-full food and still seems to love it compared to any of the grain free stuff I've tried. I know he still likes it because I'm still transitioning the kitten from the food he was eating at the shelter (Purina Kitten Chow) to his new food (Blue Buffalo Freedom Indoor Wet) and my cat never misses an opportunity to swoop in and try to steal some of it. lol.

I'd really be interested in trying the music. I have an Alexa dot at my house that I often leave on when I'm at work - I typically just play forrest sounds or beach sounds. My resident cat seems to enjoy the forrest sounds quite a bit, but maybe he'd like music too? I don't know though, he never seems too impressed when I sing to him. Valerian, L-Tryptophan, Inositol, and Zylkene. I think I may try valerian first as I take that to sleep most nights. Funny, I didn't know you could give it to cats as well!

jen : I don't know sometimes I get worried because he's such a baby about things. I know when I briefly lived with my sister in law (Who has two cats) both cats would hiss and growl at him and his only reaction was to cry and run to me. I don't know if he has it in him to be to aggressive, at least not to others. I know he can get annoyed with me... that being said he's never swatted at me with his claws out or bit me as of yet. I'm still waiting for the day. lol.

1 bruce 1 : That's probably true. I know he's seemed to be feeling a bit better today - tired, but better and his disposition towards me has improved. He's been more affectionate and calm so hopefully things will continue to improve. I wasn't sure whether I should defend him or not? Some people say you should just let them work it out, but I don't know. I fear the kitten will start bullying him if I try to force my cat to stand up for himself, so I decided to intervene. At least now I've been re-assured that I'm not going to hurt their relationship by doing this. I think the only reason I caught the litter box thing is because I'm a huge sucker and whenever my cat yowls I come running like an idiot. lol. The kitten is almost 16 weeks now. My resident cat was my first indoor cat ever (I only had outdoor cats that were mostly feral as a child because my grandparents didn't believe cats belonged indoors), so he's the first real kitten I've ever had. I got my resident cat when he was about 8 months so although he was young, he wasn't baby young like this little fellow. I had originally wanted to adopt an adult, but my resident cat is still pretty active for a 2 year old and the shelter people thought a kitten would make a better friend for my resident cat. Hopefully they start becoming more "friendly" soon!

aliceneko : I did do a slow introduction. It wasn't exceptionally long (4 days). I decided to introduce them face to face after the hissing and growling had stopped after doing scent swapping and feeding them on each side of a baby gate and just generally letting them get a feel for one another. When neither cat was swatting or hissing from either side of the door (I kept the kitten in the bathroom initially) is when I decided to do a face to face introduction. There wasn't any hissing or violence. In fact, I think my resident cat has hissed at him about two times and the kitten has never hissed once. But despite the lack of aggression, my resident cat still doesn't seem happy with the new arrival. I definitely have decided to start distracting the kitten more as I don't want to depress my resident cat. Hopefully he won't be as annoyed with him when he gets just a bit older. At least I hope that's how things will go.

Unless I have an old one that's being a complete butt, I usually defend the old one. I liken an old cat or dog and a new, young cat or dog entering the picture like throwing in a bunch of punk teenagers into a nursing home and then wondering "Why don't the residents like their spunk?"
(Damn kids get off my lawn. )
I'd defend him and make sure he knows that the older cat is yours, and yours alone, and when the older guy says "enough" he means it, and YOU mean it. You don't have to be aggressive or rough with him (just redirecting him with a toy, a clap of the hand, etc.) works.
Make sure the old guy has privileges that the kitten doesn't (fed first, etc.) and has access to a "safe" spot away from the new kid. This can be as simple as letting him into a quiet room that you can shut off for a few hours.
I think they'll be friends some day. But it's not uncommon (IME) that older male anything animals aren't always happy at having a happy youngster begging them to play leapfrog.

Once the kitten goes past that nutso stage, they begin to act more "cat" and less "kitten" and then adults usually accept them.
Our Baby Girl is a status climber and is a complete brat and Queen Bee (7 years her senior) knows it. For 3 years Baby Girl was confined at night so she could have some peace! If Baby Girl does something to Queen Bee that is unfair, we break it up.
Protect the elders, but don't enable them if they go overboard. Use common sense, speak nicely to both and continue what you're doing, because you're doing fine my friend.

 

[Furballsmom]

because you're doing fine my friend.

yep, exactly my thinking as well

 

[basschick]

so your vet didn't do a urine test? if your cat's bladder was empty, why "hypothesize" - why didn't the vet hold onto the cat for an hour and get a sample? did the vet happen to explain that to you?

 

[PinkSox]

1 bruce 1 Wow! Three years! I’m honestly hoping I don’t have to lock the kitten up at night for that long as I feel bad about it but I do tend to favor my resident cat. He’s my baby despite his moodiness. Lol

Furballsmom I’m glad someone thinks so because I’m pretty sure my resident cat doubts this whole thing.

basschick The vet had mentioned holding him and collecting a sample but I don’t know why he decided against it in the end. He said he thought it best just to start him on the antibiotic and see if things improve. I know he seemed a little concerned by his anxiety but I don’t know. I thought most cats were pretty anxious at the vet? I’d honestly feel a little iffy about leaving him at the vet, though I would have been glad to have stayed with him for the urine sample, but I don’t know, the vet decided against it. Should I request he does one if my cat has a relapse of symptoms? He seemed to have improved and I haven’t found any puddles anywhere so I’m assuming it was an infection.

 

[Furballsmom]

Should I request he does one if my cat has a relapse of symptoms

Hopefully he doesn't have a relapse, but if so I think yes.
But with your wonderful attention to things, some music and some valerian, hopefully he finds his inner balance...

 

[basschick]

1 bruce 1 Wow! Three years! I’m honestly hoping I don’t have to lock the kitten up at night for that long as I feel bad about it but I do tend to favor my resident cat. He’s my baby despite his moodiness. Lol

Furballsmom I’m glad someone thinks so because I’m pretty sure my resident cat doubts this whole thing.

basschick The vet had mentioned holding him and collecting a sample but I don’t know why he decided against it in the end. He said he thought it best just to start him on the antibiotic and see if things improve. I know he seemed a little concerned by his anxiety but I don’t know. I thought most cats were pretty anxious at the vet? I’d honestly feel a little iffy about leaving him at the vet, though I would have been glad to have stayed with him for the urine sample, but I don’t know, the vet decided against it. Should I request he does one if my cat has a relapse of symptoms? He seemed to have improved and I haven’t found any puddles anywhere so I’m assuming it was an infection.

if the vet feels your cat is so anxious, perhaps he should give him a mild medication for this. and yes, if he has a relapse, your vet should get a sample. without a sample, it's just guessing.

 

[missy&spikesmom]

I think too, if he seems like his urine problems seem to be improving, MAYBE the antibiotic was indeed, the correct one. However, if you see more of that behavior, your kitty really does need them to extract a sterile sample of urine and do a culture on it. That way, when a culture is done, the results if positive for infection, shows the actual germ involved AND the correct antibiotic to use for that specific infection. I do hope things calm down and go in a much better direction. But with all that being said, I think you are a wonderful Kitty person, as it shows by what you wrote, that you truly do care!

 

[imjustacatmom]

So I am of the school to do a slow intro and then just let them adjust...however when my two start to act agro towards each other I am quick to intervene...hopefully your babies will end up being best buds but they also might not...mine tolerate each other and every so often in morning when I wake up we'll all come together and they will start to groom eachother....unfortunately my boy starts to become aggressive so I have to stop them...and sometimes I also let them work it out because cats are territorial and they need to establish who is in charge...you sound like an amazing mom to your babies

 

[valou999]

I wouldn't worry too much, it can take a while for cats to accept/tolerate the presence of another cats. They may never become best buddies however, some cats just don't want anything to do with other cats, that's just how it is and nobody can control that. Last November I got a new 3 month old kitten and things were similar to your situation, minus the yowling and peeing. My resident 10 year old cat drastically changed some of his habits at first, maybe feeling a little bit jealous and insecure, but things returned to normal over a few months once he got accustomed to sharing space with the newcomer. They don't hiss or fight or anything, but won't cuddle or groom each other either. The only thing that's still a real issue is the kitten insisting on wrestling the poor senior cat which he appears to find quite bothersome.

 

[PinkSox]

Furballsmom Yes, I'm hoping things continue to improve and so far my kitty has been doing seemingly well!

basschick The only med my vet had recommended for me to give him was FeliWay, but now reading the comments on this forum I decided to go the valerian root route instead and it has seemed to help him! But the vet didn't offer any medication there at the vet's to relieve his anxiety.

missy&spikesmom He does seem to be improving and I haven't noticed any urine puddles around the house. He also has been happier and more energetic so I presume the antibiotic did work, however, I'm a little confused as my vet had mentioned that I could collect a urine sample myself at home. As I mentioned previously these are the first two cats I have ever had in my life (Indoor and non-feral) and while I've seen urine samples be collected with relative ease from a dog, I'm a little questionable on how one would go about getting a urine sample from a cat at home? I definitely wouldn't want to give my cat a bad experience at the litter box and make him averse to it? And thank you! I do try my best to be a good cat owner and make sure my cats are as well cared for as possible, but cats are perplexing animals. It sometimes very difficult to distinguish medical from emotional issues or even to get a straight answer about their behavior and body language. After getting my first cat I read so much on cat behavior and body language, but there is a lot of conflicting information and so many cats seem to be individualistic that it's difficult to say with certainty what they are trying to convey exactly. I think you just have to spend a year or two with a cat and even then they seem to change over time so you're always on your toes!

imjustacatmom Yes I understand this as mine become aggressive with each other as well. No hissing or growling at all, but they do seem to squabble still. I'm not sure if it's just the kitten attempting to play with my resident cat and he's annoying him or if they are being territorially with each other, because although they do squabble quite a bit, they also nap near one another and I've caught them grooming each other on quite a number of instances. And thank you!

valou999 That's good that your cats tolerate each other, although I'll admit I'll be disappointed if my two boys never love each other. They do groom one another though, so I suppose that's a good sign, but yes, just like your cats my kitten does seem to annoy my resident boy quite a bit. I'm hoping this will lessen as the kitten ages. It's sort of odd to me that the kitten's playfulness seems to bother my resident cat because he's actually quite playful himself. He does seem to enjoy rough housing with the kitten from time to time, but he still seems like he'd rather have me playing with him. Not exactly the result I was hoping for, but hopefully with time they will learn to tolerate each other better.