Thinking about giving back my cat

Sushitooshy

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
1
Purraise
0
Today I gave my almost 8 month old cat a flea bath. I tried giving him one in the sink but he dug his claws into me so much, where he drew blood and around the wound is bruised. I decided that it would be easier to put him in the shower. My shower is one of those closed glass doors with no curtain. I turned on the water and made sure it wasn’t too hot or cold, I then put him in there so I wouldn’t be torn up as much. He screamed and cried and I felt awful, but I had to do it. I took him out to scrub the shampoo on him then put him back in to get rinsed. He screamed so loud and like he was being torched with knifes, it hurt my heart so bad... I then took him out and wrapped him in a towel to dry him off and get the dead fleas off. I sat down, fed him some treats, and had a breakdown. I cried so hard since I knew he hated me, I feel like a horrible person who doesn’t deserve him. I’m considering bringing him back where I adopted him since I feel like he deserves better.
I already have a dog who has a skin infection from fleas. I recently moved to a place where fleas are here year round and are absolutely horrible, they’re evolved to an extent where typical anti flea medication that you put on their skin doesn’t work. I don’t have a good paying job so paying $23 for a one month dose on just my dog, the recent vet bill for his check up, medication for his skin, plus I recently bought a house, my cat needs to go to the vet now for prescription anti flea medication, and to put nail caps over his nails so he stops destroying things (just walking through the vet door is $65), is a lot of money that I cant really give. I love my cat but I think giving him back is the best option for me... this isn’t the first time I’ve wanted to get rid of him. I know this sounds horrible but when he destroys the carpet, gets on the counter or table after being told not to, and just being a naughty cat makes me want to not have him anymore. He doesn’t sit on my lap or enjoy cuddles/ pets as much as he used to when I got him (before and after bath btw) , just makes me want to give him back more since I think he dislikes me. Sorry about how disorganized this post is, is giving him back the right thing to do?
 

Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 4 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,171
Purraise
12,686
If you can find a trusted person who you know fully well is a cat lover and is willing to adopt your cat that would be great. It would also help if you know that that person is financially able to get him the required flea treatments.

Your cat does not hate you. As you know most cats hate the water and putting him there in the shower terrorized him. Him drawing blood on you is his self defense. Also, cats are not the same as dogs. They are more independent and even my own cats are not fond of cuddles and pets (with the exemption of 1 - my Graham). Most cats prefer to be left alone. So do not think that him avoiding pets and cuddles mean he hates you.
 

Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 4 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
4,171
Purraise
12,686
And may I also add, once you have a cat in the house, be prepared of them scratching on carpets, posts, anything they can reach. If you can afford to buy him toys, cat trees and scratch posts it would be helpful. He is only 8 months old - still very young and probably wants to play as well. I used to be so upset when my cats scratch on my sofa, but now not anymore. I just bought a cover for it so guests wont be able to see the damage they have done. :)
 

KittyCat Angel

A lover of cats ❤
Young Cat
Joined
Oct 3, 2019
Messages
72
Purraise
174
It sounds like this is part feral and not really a house cat? You did a good job anyway. Be careful you don't get scratched anymore! 😮
 

kittenmittens84

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Sep 30, 2019
Messages
618
Purraise
601
Ok first take a deep breath, get a good night’s sleep, and come back to this in the morning. It sounds like you had a very stressful experience with the flea bath today, and you’re probably still freaked out and feeling bad from that. Take some time before you make any decisions.

How long have you had the cat?

1. Your cat won’t hate you forever for giving him a bath or have to give him medicine or anything like that, I promise. While it sucks that we can’t explain to cats why they have to have a bath, they forgive and forget fairly quickly, and if it’s something you have to do for their health just remind yourself it’s to keep them healthy and that you have the cat’s best interest in mind. Treats and a nap after go a long way. I gave my cat daily injections that burned like hell for 84 days STRAIGHT and he still loves me.

2. If you ever need to give your cat a bath again, DO NOT put him in the shower and turn it on. That makes it way more stressful, since they don’t like getting their faces wet and they don’t like the spraying water. Trim his nails before the bath, exude calm and confidence (if you get worked up your cat will too), put a non-slip mat or other rubber mat in the bottom of your tub (they get freaked out when they slip around, I used an all-weather rubber floor mat from my car), and fill a bucket and then use a cup to gently pour water from the bucket over the cat. The faucet scares them. Also, try to tire your cat out by playing with him a lot before bathtime so he’s less energetic.

3. Just because your cat isn’t cuddly doesn’t me he doesn’t like you! Cats express affection in different ways, and like people some cats are cuddlers and others aren’t. Some cats like laps and some don’t. It’s very likely that your cat was feeling more timid and less secure for the first few weeks or months after moving in with you, and now he’s gotten more comfortable hence the personality change. It doesn’t mean he dislikes you. As you bond with him more you’ll start to notice his own personal way of showing affection - I have a cat who has never in his life sat on my lap or even snuggled up next to me, but he loves playing fetch with me and will bring me the ball which I think is adorable.

3. Behavioral issues - first of all, try to remember that when he’s scratching the carpet or jumping on the counter, he’s just following his natural cat instincts. He’s not deliberately acting out or trying to mess with you, cats need to scratch things to remove the outer layer of their claws, to mark their territory, and to stretch. Cats also like to be on high places like counters so they can keep watch over everything, easily escape danger, and with counters and tables specifically they might be in search of food. I know it doesn’t make it any less annoying to deal with, but you have to remember that he has natural instincts to do these things and also doesn’t really understand “no” in the same way humans do.

There are things you can do to try to work on behavioral issues, mainly redirection to give him some outlets for those scratching and jumping instincts that aren’t your stuff. Cat trees, window ledges/hammocks, or even just a chair/table by the window can all be good outlets for the desire to be up high and looking at stuff. As far as scratching, regular nail trimming, scratching posts/pads, and nail caps are the three main options you have for reducing furniture destruction. Lots of cats respond well to these things but with some cats it’s unlikely you will be able to prevent them from ever jumping somewhere you don’t want them or stop them from ever scratching the floor a bit when they wake up. At a certain point these are just things you’ll have to accept a little of in order to have a cat in your house.

4. Financial issues - first of all, if you truly don’t think you can provide the resources for a happy healthy life for your kitty, that would be a valid reason for finding him a home that could provide that. He deserves it.

But there are ways you can stretch your money on pet related expenses. If you have vet visits where the cat doesn’t need to be seen by a vet (like putting on nail caps or regular medication administration for example), ask if a vet tech can see you instead. Lots of vet clinics will charge a lower exam fee for this if an actual vet isn’t involved in the appointment. Seek out low cost vet care in your area - many cities and counties have resources for pet owners who need financial help like sliding scale vet visits or low cost vaccination clinics. You also may be able to save money on food and litter by buying in bulk, buying on sale, or switching to cheaper brands.

Bottom line is that having a pet means that you’re caring for another living thing, and while it can be so rewarding and fun it’s also sometimes frustrating, sad, or difficult. I think we’ve all been there, at the end of our rope at midnight sitting on the floor about to cry, surrounded by spilled water and little bits of cat poop/hairball/whatever and wondering why the hell we ever adopted a stupid cat in the first place. It’s really hard and I’m sorry you’re going through this but no matter what you’ll feel better about it in the morning, even if it’s just because some time has passed and you’re not in that negative emotional mindset anymore.
 

canucksfan1

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Nov 2, 2019
Messages
48
Purraise
47
wow man i have NEVER had to flea bath my cat ever.
when she got fleas all it took to clear it up was a flea collar temporarily & the cat flea drops behind her neck & she was loving it.

cats aint dogs man and they will not cooperate with baths unless theyre those abused cats that get bathed from 6 weeks which is horrible for their fur & natural cat oils.
 

Talien

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Oct 10, 2018
Messages
2,650
Purraise
5,131
Location
Michigan
Food grade Diatomaceous Earth is much easier (and safer in some cases) than a bath. It's a powder that you get on your hands and rub into their fur, it will kill any external parasites that are on an animal. It's also less expensive than most flea treatments, a 5 LB bag is typically less than $15 and will last you a very long time. Just make sure it is FOOD GRADE and you won't need to worry about him ingesting it when he grooms himself.
 

SpecterOhPossum

spec's pet human
Alpha Cat
Joined
Sep 1, 2019
Messages
588
Purraise
722
Generally speaking, showering a cat and bathing it like you'd do a human or dog is setting yourself up for failure. It's best to sit them on a stool out of the water and gently pour warm-ish water from a cup onto them, with a teeeeeeeeeny drop of dawn or something VERY light. Like oats. They're sensitive to bear in mind the earlier fit might have been caused by accidentally burning water.
 

ArchyCat

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 22, 2017
Messages
1,202
Purraise
1,801
Location
Texas
You can buy Revolution from Australia without a prescription and at a much lower price than what a US vet will charge you.

The web site name is "Cats & Kittens Mega Store". The only problem is the shipping time can be 6 to 8 weeks..

Do a search one the TCS site for "Australia". Or "Revolution\".
 

WillowMarie

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 18, 2019
Messages
1,958
Purraise
5,916
You can buy Revolution from Australia without a prescription and at a much lower price than what a US vet will charge you.

The web site name is "Cats & Kittens Mega Store". The only problem is the shipping time can be 6 to 8 weeks..

Do a search one the TCS site for "Australia". Or "Revolution\".
Wow, that's good to know! This is the same stuff then?? This will help me save money.
 

mekkababble

TCS Member
Young Cat
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
77
Purraise
140
Location
North Carolina
I had a conversation with a friend this morning about how we initially didn’t like our cats.

1. Depending on how long you’ve had the cat, it takes a while to warm up to them and get into a routine- doubly so if the animal is causing problems! You had a rough experience with the fleas so give yourself a couple days to get into a good place of mind before sending the cat back to the shelter. Cats can take a couple month to adjust to a new place and a lot of them come pre-equipped with bad habits that need to be unlearned.

2. I promise your cat doesn’t hate you. They’re social creatures and extremely forgiving. We all make mistakes taking care of them, so forgive yourself for the bath incident.

3. Money is a concern. The good news is for younger cats get visits don’t need to be as frequent (I limit mine to sick visits), depending on where you live some places will provide county sponsored rabies vaccines. Regarding fleas- check online for ways you can clear fleas from your house (i had a flea, tick, and mouse infested apartment once and we cleared it with salt in the carpet, traps, and a couple months of flea treatment on the dog. Then it wasn’t an issue). In your case, I’d purge the house, frontline the dog, and keep the cat inside. I’d bet that’ll significantly reduce the problem.

4. To stop inappropriate scratching, I’ve found double sided tape does wonders along with some strategically places scratching posts/boards.
 
Top