They told us to never see their cat again

philip711

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
2
Purraise
7
Hi, I’m a little new and have never posted here before but I’m stuck in a dilemma and don’t know what to do.

Over the last 4 months, 1 of the 2 cats owned by our neighbour in the apartment above ours, comes to our home to sleep, cuddle and play. It’s got so bad that she comes and rubs against us and comes when we call and even hisses at the owner now when the owner tries to play with her. We don’t feed and we don’t allow her in at night but regardless she comes to us all the time.

We have a good communication with the owner and that’s how we know that the cat goes home to eat but then immediately comes to us again.

The problem is that me and my girlfriend are home all the time doing online university and will be doing so for a few more years and the owner is away at working all day or going on trips and we believe that’s why the cat has come to us. But now the owner has talked with us and said she knows the cat chooses their owner and she would give the cat to us if needed but first she wants to try to keep the cat herself. That means the owner has asked us to never let the cat in again, ignore her crying at the window for us and even spray her when we see her to try and encourage her to form a bond back with the owner by getting ride of the one she has with us.

We are heartbroken and would love to have the cat but also understand that the owner is a nice person and would be heartbroken to give the cat up and therefore we don’t know what to do and are finding the idea of never letting the cat in really hard.

Can anyone give some advance on how best to handle the situation?
 

susanm9006

Resident Cat Willow
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
Messages
8,922
Purraise
18,363
Location
Minnesota
I think you need to honor the owners wishes and start ignoring their cat. It would be better of course if she would just keep her cat in and you might want to suggest she try that. But unless this cat is being abused or neglected which doesn’t sound the case, she is within her right to ask you not to let it in.
 

rubysmama

Forum Helper
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
18,985
Purraise
41,874
Location
Canada
I'd have to agree that you really should honour the owner's wishes and stop letting the cat in your apartment. But I would advise against spraying water at it, as that could create aggressive behaviour from the cat which would not help with rebuilding a bond with her owner.

How old is the cat?

Do you know if she's spayed?

And do you know if she gets along with your neighbour's other cat? If she doesn't, that could explain why she's not content to stay home.

Welcome to TCS, btw. It's clear you love cats, and hopefully one day you'll have one of your own, whether it be this particular cat, or another one that needs a home.
 

Tik cat's mum

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Jul 20, 2019
Messages
1,862
Purraise
5,636
Location
UK
I have to agree with susanm9006 susanm9006 and rubysmama rubysmama don't let the cat in. But I wouldn't spray the cat even if I'd been asked. You sound like you will be a good cat owner one day but this cat already has a owner and it sounds like she cares. Maybe she will have a change of heart if she sees the cat meowing at your window. But I don't think it will help if you ignore what the owner has asked. If the owner asks again to spray her to chase her away. I would tell her sorry I can't do that I feel bad enough leaving her outside.
 

fionasmom

TCS Member
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Jun 21, 2014
Messages
4,906
Purraise
7,197
Location
Los Angeles
If you want the cat as your pet, I would work on the "if needed" clause of her request. If she does not keep the cat in and if it desperately hangs out at your place, I would keep her informed of that. What does she do with the cat when she is on trips? She does not sound like a bad owner, per se, but something is lacking in cat management.

Since there is a clear owner here, which means there is a property issue, you do have to work with her request though. It sounds as if it has crossed her mind that the cat may not want to stay with her, so that might be in your favor is you do want the cat.

5 Reasons To Never Spray Water On Your Cat [Or otherwise punish them] – TheCatSite Articles

If she insists that you use a spray bottle, or actually hands you one, it might help to be able to refer to this article.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

philip711

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Jun 18, 2021
Messages
2
Purraise
7
Thank you all for your replies. As much as I do not want to I think your right and that I should do what the owner says, especially thinking if it was my cat and what I would want from someone else.
Thank you for the support
 

momof3b1g

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Dec 8, 2013
Messages
1,102
Purraise
351
Wow this happened years ago. Dh and our first apartment. The neighbors cat always wanted in. So we let it in. It would sleep in our home. The neighbor saw us let it out and got mad. She said it always wanted out. Yet it loved coming in our home. Im no help. But was surprised to see it has happened to someone else.
 

vince

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Messages
1,066
Purraise
1,670
Location
metro Detroit
Years ago (before microchips), our neighbor's cat (no collar or ID) showed up at the door, came inside and made himself at home. Little Ug (Ugly) was perfectly happy being an inside cat and stayed with us about three months. We had him examined at the vet, vaccinated and everything. The neighbor saw us carrying him in the back yard and said "That's our cat! Where did you get him?" So we apologized profusely and I took Ug around the corner to her, three doors away. No hard feelings, I hope. I guess she made him stay inside, as we didn't see him again.
 
Top