Therapists/grief counseling for dealing with cat loss?

BBirdcat

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Hi, does anyone have a recommendation for a therapist/anyone who helps deal w loss of your cat? I see pets ones but was wondering about a specific person specializing in cat loss, specifically feral if possible.

With the Pandemic/Covid19 going on, I wouldn't need to see them in person but by phone could work.

Been dealing with massive feelings of guilt and grief and sadness for over a week and a half since my semi feral cat probably died

feel guilt about semi feral cat being eaten, need feedback.


My family wants me to get over it by now but I am still crying every night and having such sadness about it. I really need help.
 

LTS3

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Try a pet loss hotline. Some veterinary schools have one.

https://vet.tufts.edu/petloss/ (Also has a virtual group via Zoom if you're interested)

Other resources:

 
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neely

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The veterinary specialty center we have taken both our dog and cat to has a licensed counselor who offers both individual grief counseling and a pet loss support group. She is a wonderful, caring and compassionate lady who helped us tremendously. Depending where you live perhaps you have a similar veterinary organization nearby. I'm very sorry about the loss of your semi-feral cat. :hugs:
 

Mia6

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I am so sorry for your loss. Of course you are not over it, it will take time. I contacted a pet grief
therapist about 20 years ago when my Lena went to the bridge. She no longer practiced but
me to write down all the positives that I could remember about her. It was a very long list and
it indeed helped. Someone is always here if you need to talk. I'm sure you'll be able to find
someone to help you with all the links given.

Love,
Mia 💖 :hugs:
 

les26

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Please look into the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, it helps your body and mind adapt to grief, sudden loss and shock, and is natural, not a drug. Also Holy Basil helps with it too. Counseling is also wonderful, and talking on here helps too.

I hope you feel better soon, we all understand how you feel right now..... :alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

di and bob

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I was a mess for over 5 years, bursting into tears, couldn't sleep, a very pronounced startle reflex, I could put it down to post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. I finally came to realize that my little one, who loved life so very much, would NEVER want me to live out the rest of mine like I was. I know this because I would want her to find happiness and joy in life for her if I were the first to go, that is love.....Instead of dwelling on her death, and trying so hard to go back and change the past which can never be done, I started to live in the present, (like cats do) keeping busy and finding small things day by day that brought happiness. Even if it was just a walk. You will never 'get over' what happened, you will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and find joy in life once more by putting it firmly in the past and letting the good times with your little one grow into a wonderful part of your life as it should be, letting THOSE memories bring you comfort instead of the end bringing you such pain.
I can tell you that time is the only thing that helps. You have to purposely seek life bringing you happiness, keeping occupied, and doing things that help you feel better about yourself. Like donating a small donation, food, or time at your local shelter in your town.
Like a mother with several children, each one unique and loved so much, you could give a home to another little one too. It occupies your mind and helps your heart to heal by adding on to the love already there. Make this one a strictly indoor cat to keep your mind and your heart at ease. Or build a Catuary for a little outdoor excitement. I can say that although I resented my other cats at first for being alive when my other precious one was not, they literally became a lifesaver, taking care of them gave me a purpose in life.
My heart and prayers go out to you, as one who witnessed her little one killed on the road coming to me, I have stood in your shoes. I just want you to know the love you shared with that little girl is spiritual, so eternal. You will always have it, she will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. May you find healing in the future, keep busy, and just get through each day, one day at a time.......RIP precious girl. you will never be forgotten, you will forever have a special place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
 
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BBirdcat

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I was a mess for over 5 years, bursting into tears, couldn't sleep, a very pronounced startle reflex, I could put it down to post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. I finally came to realize that my little one, who loved life so very much, would NEVER want me to live out the rest of mine like I was. I know this because I would want her to find happiness and joy in life for her if I were the first to go, that is love.....Instead of dwelling on her death, and trying so hard to go back and change the past which can never be done, I started to live in the present, (like cats do) keeping busy and finding small things day by day that brought happiness. Even if it was just a walk. You will never 'get over' what happened, you will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and find joy in life once more by putting it firmly in the past and letting the good times with your little one grow into a wonderful part of your life as it should be, letting THOSE memories bring you comfort instead of the end bringing you such pain.
I can tell you that time is the only thing that helps. You have to purposely seek life bringing you happiness, keeping occupied, and doing things that help you feel better about yourself. Like donating a small donation, food, or time at your local shelter in your town.
Like a mother with several children, each one unique and loved so much, you could give a home to another little one too. It occupies your mind and helps your heart to heal by adding on to the love already there. Make this one a strictly indoor cat to keep your mind and your heart at ease. Or build a Catuary for a little outdoor excitement. I can say that although I resented my other cats at first for being alive when my other precious one was not, they literally became a lifesaver, taking care of them gave me a purpose in life.
My heart and prayers go out to you, as one who witnessed her little one killed on the road coming to me, I have stood in your shoes. I just want you to know the love you shared with that little girl is spiritual, so eternal. You will always have it, she will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. May you find healing in the future, keep busy, and just get through each day, one day at a time.......RIP precious girl. you will never be forgotten, you will forever have a special place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
This nearly brought me to tears. Thank you so much, I have saved a bunch of sentences you wrote and will be going back and looking at them over time. Thank you again. I miss her so much but I hear what you wrote.
 
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BBirdcat

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I was a mess for over 5 years, bursting into tears, couldn't sleep, a very pronounced startle reflex, I could put it down to post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD. I finally came to realize that my little one, who loved life so very much, would NEVER want me to live out the rest of mine like I was. I know this because I would want her to find happiness and joy in life for her if I were the first to go, that is love.....Instead of dwelling on her death, and trying so hard to go back and change the past which can never be done, I started to live in the present, (like cats do) keeping busy and finding small things day by day that brought happiness. Even if it was just a walk. You will never 'get over' what happened, you will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and find joy in life once more by putting it firmly in the past and letting the good times with your little one grow into a wonderful part of your life as it should be, letting THOSE memories bring you comfort instead of the end bringing you such pain.
I can tell you that time is the only thing that helps. You have to purposely seek life bringing you happiness, keeping occupied, and doing things that help you feel better about yourself. Like donating a small donation, food, or time at your local shelter in your town.
Like a mother with several children, each one unique and loved so much, you could give a home to another little one too. It occupies your mind and helps your heart to heal by adding on to the love already there. Make this one a strictly indoor cat to keep your mind and your heart at ease. Or build a Catuary for a little outdoor excitement. I can say that although I resented my other cats at first for being alive when my other precious one was not, they literally became a lifesaver, taking care of them gave me a purpose in life.
My heart and prayers go out to you, as one who witnessed her little one killed on the road coming to me, I have stood in your shoes. I just want you to know the love you shared with that little girl is spiritual, so eternal. You will always have it, she will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers. May you find healing in the future, keep busy, and just get through each day, one day at a time.......RIP precious girl. you will never be forgotten, you will forever have a special place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
"You will never 'get over' what happened, you will never forget it, but you can learn to live with it and find joy in life once more by putting it firmly in the past and letting the good times with your little one grow into a wonderful part of your life as it should be, letting THOSE memories bring you comfort instead of the end bringing you such pain."

this is what I'm struggling with the most. I keep focusing on the end and what happened.

But this night (its so late and I have been up way too late since this happened) I ended up looking through a month or two worth of photos and videos and realized how much joy I brought her (and she brought me). We had such fun times and I tried so hard every night and dedicated a lot of hours. I love her so much
 

di and bob

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Nothing but time will bring you peace, mere words can bring a small amount of comfort because this is a personal journey you travel alone. It was YOUR love. We are here for you, we can all get through this together. We are all bound together by our grief, we are legion.....
 
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BBirdcat

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You are not alone. You will always love her so very much, as she loves you. Because you gave her care and what she wanted the most in this world, someone to love.....
thank you. I've been crying a lot (nights are toughest) but have talked to someone, and read books and also been on message boards like this telling my story of my wonderful kitten. on Sunday we are having a memorial for her. just trying to make sense of this all and find peace but as you said time is probably the biggest factor.

I loved her so and like you said .. she would not want me to live lief so sad and depressed. its just tough trying to be happy during all of this. it will be 2 weeks on monday. thank you again. I hope to talk further w you depending on how this journey continues to go for me
 
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BBirdcat

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Hi, I'm dealing with severe PTSD and Survivor's guilt still about my cat.

I've also been going on another message board for cats which is 75% helpful, but have a few posters who are continually trashing me and saying what an awful person I am and I caused it's death etc which is giving me panic attacks.

I dont' know what to do. It just really gets bad at night for me when I'm alone without distractions. I don't know what to do.
 

Mia6

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but have a few posters who are continually trashing me and saying what an awful person I am and I caused it's death etc which is giving me panic attacks.
Drop them. You don't need that nonsense. You won't find anything like that here.
We have so many members from all over the world you can talk with. I've been doing
a lot of crying lately because tomorrow would have been my Vincie girl's 20th birthday!!
I know they're planning a big bash at the Bridge and your feral will be there.:hugs::rbheart:

Love,
Mia xxx
 
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BBirdcat

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UPDATE:

So it turns out my family "forgot" to tell me that night they saw my cat walking around chasing bugs at like 2am in the morning near our back area (where she usually did) on our camera.

After that not sure what happened, but I thought it was possible the attack happened right after I let her out at 1240, so there's a slight bit of relief it wasn't directly after and the coyotes didn't hear her initially at the time or right after.

I also worried she freaked out after I didn't let her back in at 1240 and went crazy and then got eaten at like 1 am.

The fact that it happened after 2am or later means it was probably just more of a bad luck thing.

Still trying to process this as I'm super pissed at my family for "forgetting/failing" to tell me this for 2 weeks when I've been asking about my cat being on any cameras after 1240 for weeks AND they basically had said before she disappeared after 1240 and didn't see her again.

I had such guilt bc I thought the attack potentially happened right after and that's why my cat wanted to so badly come back in. It turns out it was probably more just like a regular night where she had fleas and still wanted to nap. She was also so adventurous and was starting to explore different areas which was probably the issue.
 
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