The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2021

[Lari]

I decided to have one of my mini bottles of Chardonnay as I shouldn't have to feed again until about 3am, but now need to wait until I feel a bit more okay to bring J upstairs.

I've had a lot of ennui/pandemic fatigue this week. In-laws are coming in this weekend, though, so hopefully that'll make things different enough to get me out of this funk a bit

Also, I'm so tired of my car's check engine light coming on. I probably should just get a new car, but feel weird not bringing in income. I need to do something like a few mom surveys at home since J's asleep, so I feel like I'm doing something. I'm so crap at cleaning, and I guess I'm keeping J alive, but I don't like not having any income and feeling like I'm mooching off my husband even though we agreed this was a better deal than daycare.

I'm tipsy rambling now. I think I need to kick Lelia off my lap, drink some water, and bring J upstairs to bed.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

He’ll probably outgrow it eventually. Or maybe you've got a future dentist on your hands! I use a Childrens size toothbrush because it fits in my mouth better at the back. DH used to brush too hard and we suspected that was starting to cause him issues. FIL was originally in dental school but decided to become a physician's assistant instead. So DH SHOULD have had good training. But I could easily see FIL's insistence on perfection translating to overdoing it.

This week (and the last few) have been hard here. It's a difficult time of the year because of some bad things that happened but it's also in the lead-up to the end of the school year. I don't really want to get into it; but basically I decided today we were taking it easy. When I woke up this morning I had a text from their friend from church's mom. The kids have been writing some old-fashion letters to each other after DS had a writing assignemnt a few weeks ago involving writing a letter. She said their friend has been asking to Zoom with them and could they do that this evening. So both my kids got on their kindle fires and "played" with their friend that way. I haven't heard that much laughter around here in a long while. Which makes me both happy and sad! She showed them how to draw on the screen and do some things so they had some kind of Pictionary like game going. It was really sweet.

We also went to Walmart for some birthday supplies even though we have a while yet. I wanted to keep an eye for the wave petunias that I love. I did end up finding some! And I got one other potted mix to transfer into one of my own pots. I set it on the back steps as is for now. A few minutes later DD and I were inside and looked out and saw them and I was just instantly happier. Tomorrow I will move things to proper pots!

 

[BellaGooch]

I’m afraid of spiders. That’s on my mind.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

Deleted as I asked this in the proper forum.

However back is a bit better except the occasional cough that I've had since I quit smoking in 2006, which I feel in my back. I am having a hard time sleeping though. Not due to pain but because the back screams at me for putting pressure on it. And I can't sleep on stomach or sides, so this is terrible. I have to get up and place the pillow on my desk and lean forward to sleep. Still the pain is nearly gone so that's good. I'm constantly chilled though at 60 degrees. What?????? Ever since I fell and fractured my humerus 3 years ago I've been that way. As usual doctors here are clueless. Ugh

Once again USPS is showing I have SSA being delivered. If I don't get it today I'm marching down there and will have them look for it even if I have to stand there for the next 40 weeks. I refuse to keep doing paid surveys 20 hours a day. I'm not well (because of the back) and I'm slowly getting physically and mentally exhausted from all of this. Ugh

And yes I'm stupid so hopefully someone who collects SSA can help. How can a letter (bulky) from SSA come from 2 miles away from my house but the rep is 400 miles away. Huh? Does this mean that I may be denied forever and ever and ever even though I paid into Social Security for 25 years and am now 65 years old? I'm so sick of being lied to all the time.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Mamanyt1953 i was glad that i had you to talk to last night

Always, Sweetie.

 

[susanm9006]

I hope you are feeling better this morning Lari . Feeling guilty and stressed about one thing or another is just part of being a parent. I should be doing this....I shouldnt be doing that. If you don’t work, you feel guilty for not bringing in income, if you do work you feel guilty about leaving the baby. There really isn’t a way around it, just take a deep breath and wait for it to pass.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

Mail carrier came by. Still refusal to give me my documents from SSA. I'm really going to have no money to survive on if this isn't resolved. I no longer no what to do. I have tried everything and all suggestions given to me. I guess it's my karma

I am physically and mentally exhausted. I wave the white flag. I am through fighting this. Whatever happens I'll accept even if it affects my ability to survive. I can't do it anymore. I fought this for 2 weeks and nothing is being resolved. I really had to have been the most horrible ugly mean person in a past life for all of this in this life. I'm through fighting.

 

[susanm9006]

Mail carrier came by. Still refusal to give me my documents from SSA. I'm really going to have no money to survive on if this isn't resolved. I no longer no what to do. I have tried everything and all suggestions given to me. I guess it's my karma

I am physically and mentally exhausted. I wave the white flag. I am through fighting this. Whatever happens I'll accept even if it affects my ability to survive. I can't do it anymore. I fought this for 2 weeks and nothing is being resolved. I really had to have been the most horrible ugly mean person in a past life for all of this in this life. I'm through fighting.

Next time you talk to your postal worker use your phone to record the conversation/refusal to give you your mail. And in the meantime you should be able to do your signup and paperwork for Social security and Medicare online. And maybe talk with your doctor about getting something to help with your stress.

 

[Willowy]

What do you mean by "refused"? If the carrier delivered to your house, they should have delivered everything they had for you. We don't just keep mail lying around cluttering up the place for funsies. Is it something that needs a signature?

 

[game misconduct]

I’m afraid of spiders. That’s on my mind.

i can "help" you get over that

 

[Lari]

susanm9006 Yeah, feeling a bit better today. You're right that there are downsides and upsides no matter what you choose and you just have to make peace with your decisions because you can't have it all at once.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

I guess I'll start recording the conversation. But sadly for the most part the relief carrier shows up at a time we're in bed for the night. Oh and if you don't hold onto it for funsies how is it that at Christmas time I got 5 pieces of mail that were postmarked March 2008? That was 13 years ago, so it had to have been somewhere.

 

[Willowy]

Oh and if you don't hold onto it for funsies how is it that at Christmas time I got 5 pieces of mail that were postmarked March 2008?

They got stuck behind/in/under the sorting machines, usually. COVID cleaning dug up quite a few of those, sadly. But post offices don't have room to keep mail around.

 

[Katie M]

I'm looking for a vaporizer, preferably waterless, for sinus problems.

 

[artiemom]

I'm looking for a vaporizer, preferably waterless, for sinus problems.

I think all vaporizers/humidifiers use water. Not quite sure what you are looking for. Sorry

Have you tried a sinus rinse? I was against it for years, and then my PCP insisted I try one. It works great.

I got the NellMed rinse kit. There is a video on YouTube on how to use it. I use the packs of saline mix; added to cooled boiled tap water.

It works so good that I keep a new set up on hand.

 

[Katie M]

My mom says she has a waterless one

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

They got stuck behind/in/under the sorting machines, usually. COVID cleaning dug up quite a few of those, sadly. But post offices don't have room to keep mail around.

That still does not resolve the issue that out of the 150 pieces of mail scanned for informed delivery over the past 3 weeks only 25 of those pieces were delivered. And also why the mail truck does not go down our little street of 25 houses more often then that. Nothingis ever resolved with this post office and now I lost out on SSA as a result. Which does not make me happy because I am tired of spending 18 to 20 hours a day doing paid survey sites. I think at 65 years of age I should be allowed at least a full 8 hours of sleep instead of having to struggle to make this money. I am entitled to SSA as I paid into it for 25 years. Which reminds me, if you work for the main Post office of all the states, the phone numbers are not up to date. I have a new phone number for the Normandy Post Office in St Louis MO that they state now works. I called them but they tell me my mail is not their responsibility. Sorry I mentioned this once before. The number you have on your main site (the link you provided) is inaccurate and they have verified that.

 

[Willowy]

You really do have to get ahold of management at the post office that delivers your mail. Maybe if you put a note in your box that says "please write post office phone number here", and include a pen so they don't have an excuse not to write it down, that might work.

Or, do you ever get a peach slip (for things that need signatures)? If so, it should have up-to-date info printed on it.

And (I'm sure you wouldn't do this, but just as a PSA ), don't start off yelling or being nasty, or they'll be nasty right back. Just calmly state that you haven't received mail for a certain amount of time and you're wondering if something is wrong, and what you can do to fix that.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

You really do have to get hold of management at the post office that delivers your mail. Maybe if you put a note in your box that says "please write post office phone number here", and include a pen so they don't have an excuse not to write it down, that might work.

Or, do you ever get a peach slip (for things that need signatures)? If so, it should have up-to-date info printed on it.

Nope. I don't get those peach slips because when Danielle is delivering she always rings the bell. And outside of on Fridays Mom and I are ALWAYS home. She's 97 almost 98 and so her days of running around to stores is over and I personally never did like shopping. But I do need my SSA since I paid into it and my local post office doesn't even seem to take it seriously. It says Social Security Administration on the outside of the envelop for crying out loud.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I hope you are feeling better this morning Lari . Feeling guilty and stressed about one thing or another is just part of being a parent. I should be doing this....I shouldnt be doing that. If you don’t work, you feel guilty for not bringing in income, if you do work you feel guilty about leaving the baby. There really isn’t a way around it, just take a deep breath and wait for it to pass.

This. 1000% on the money. I’ve been home for over 10 years. Daycare for one would have taken all but $20 if each paycheck and my job had no benefits. Daycare for 2 would have cost us money. Choosing to homeschool was definitely a leap of faith but I do not regret it at all. Even though things have been really tough/draining lately; I’ve seen the rewards.

There have been many hard and challenging phases. None have lasted. I just see the time with my kids as priceless. Every choice has its benefits and tradeoffs. Mom guilt is a real thing!! I have learned to manage it (and other peoples opinions) much better over the years as i see how it changes from season to season.

My husband and I are a team; my contribution to our family might not translate to bringing money in, but its no less valuable. Obviously at first my working would have been money out! But even now it’s probably still saving us in other ways. I really feel like the whole income=value thing is just the wrong way to look at life. My worth is not tied to my income. I can do things my husband can’t. I know dads who stay home because their wives have better careers! I know parents who work opposite shifts to make life work. I know people who work just because they want to. None of it is wrong. Choosing to be different is ok. Choosing to be “traditional” is ok too. Its nice to have the choice. One of my friends pretty much accused me of being anti-feminist when she heard I didn’t want to work. I told her I think not having a choice is pretty anti-woman. She changed her tune after that. She was just raised in the “don’t depend on a man” mindset.

I think covid has proven how valuable it can be to have one parent in the home. I feel so bad for families who have had to put teenagers in charge of younger siblings virtual school while managing their own! Its been tough!