The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2021

[MoonstoneWolf]

Trying to sneak a phone call to my cousin about my Mom without her hearing me. I feel like a bad person if I call the police on her but I really fear for my life. She stood over me yesterday with a heavy wood cane threatening me because of the cats and my cameras. I can't even text someone without her snatching the phone from my hand to make sure I'm not talking about her. Like my cousin's girlfriend said we need to act now and not wait. Right now it's threats with a cane but that can and most likely will escalate very quickly to actual beatings. And she would not even be aware of what she's doing because of either dementia or alzheimers. Problem is they can go back to their home but I have to stay here until she is put into assisted living or another home and face her wrath and possible serious abuse.

 

[Lari]

It is hitting the 80's today, wowza!

I know, I can't believe it! I have my winter baby in a short romper for the first time!

MoonstoneWolf honestly, calling the police might be the only way to get your mom help at this point. At the very least you're starting a paper trail so if you talk to Alzheimer's groups or whatnot, there's more than just talk to show she needs more help than she thinks she does.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

I know, I can't believe it! I have my winter baby in a short romper for the first time!

MoonstoneWolf honestly, calling the police might be the only way to get your mom help at this point. At the very least you're starting a paper trail so if you talk to Alzheimer's groups or whatnot, there's more than just talk to show she needs more help than she thinks she does.

I know but it's hard with your own mother to do that. And what if the police don't get involved because they think it's just a domestic dispute? And sneaking to call my cousin is going to be a challenge for sure.

 

[Willowy]

My parents' neighbor was declining for a long time (she used to run out on the porch in her undies to yell at neighborhood kids!), but it was when she started beating her husband with his own cane that they got her into the Alzheimer's unit. So maybe this will be what gets them to take things seriously.

 

[Lari]

Even if they don't do anything (and I doubt they'd arrest her), they'd have to make a report, and since you've said alz org hasn't been helpful, having reports might be what gets them to take it seriously. I'm sure it's very difficult, but try to think about it being for her own good?

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

Even if they don't do anything (and I doubt they'd arrest her), they'd have to make a report, and since you've said alz org hasn't been helpful, having reports might be what gets them to take it seriously. I'm sure it's very difficult, but try to think about it being for her own good?

What do I do for my own safety? I mean I call the police, they come and talk to her, Linda and Stuart go home, police leave and leaving me with Mom who is now more irate than before and her cane beating me to a pulp.

 

[susanm9006]

What do I do for my own safety? I mean I call the police, they come and talk to her, Linda and Stuart go home, police leave and leaving me with Mom who is now more irate than before and her cane beating me to a pulp.

Your options are to leave if you are being abused or visit with an attorney about the process to become your mother’s guardian. There would be a court hearing, you would both be present and the judge would decide if your mom needs a guardian. If you are appointed then you are able to make the choice to transfer her to a care facility whether she wants to go or not. You would have to pay for this out of her assets, presumably by selling her house.

 

[MoonstoneWolf]

Your options are to leave if you are being abused or visit with an attorney about the process to become your mother’s guardian. There would be a court hearing, you would both be present and the judge would decide if your mom needs a guardian. If you are appointed then you are able to make the choice to transfer her to a care facility whether she wants to go or not. You would have to pay for this out of her assets, presumably by selling her house.

She's already set me as power of attorney. When Mom was in hospital 4 years ago with kidney infection Linda (my cousin's girlfriend) looked at the living trust and will and I am power of attorney now. But as I have repeatedly stated that Mom calls the police (right now) if a doctor comes here. so we need as much ammo as we can get to keep Mom from making that call.

 

[Lari]

What do I do for my own safety? I mean I call the police, they come and talk to her, Linda and Stuart go home, police leave and leaving me with Mom who is now more irate than before and her cane beating me to a pulp.

Call the Hotline or go to a domestic violence shelter? I know people tend to think of them for partner violence, but you're dealing with abuse and they ought to offer you a safe place to stay for a bit or give you resources to help.

 

[strider rose]

i am thinking about what i should do today.... i slept in today and am just now getting up

 

[Willowy]

But as I have repeatedly stated that Mom calls the police (right now) if a doctor comes here. so we need as much ammo as we can get to keep Mom from making that call.

If you have full power of attorney, then you are her, legally speaking (unless it specifies that it's only for financial purposes or otherwise is limited). This means that if she calls the cops, you can override it. You just tell them you have POA and have given the doctor permission to be there, and that ought to be the end of it.

 

[AbbysMom]

If you have full power of attorney, then you are her, legally speaking (unless it specifies that it's only for financial purposes or otherwise is limited). This means that if she calls the cops, you can override it. You just tell them you have POA and have given the doctor permission to be there, and that ought to be the end of it.

As someone that had to have their mother committed for a geriatric psych evaluation and put into memory care assisted living in the past year, it depends. When does the POA go into effect? Was it immediately upon execution or does the person have to be declared incapable of dealing with their own affairs first? Does the POA outline that the person is in charge of medical decisions too? Is there a separate Health Care proxy? It can get very tricky.

 

[susanm9006]

She's already set me as power of attorney. When Mom was in hospital 4 years ago with kidney infection Linda (my cousin's girlfriend) looked at the living trust and will and I am power of attorney now. But as I have repeatedly stated that Mom calls the police (right now) if a doctor comes here. so we need as much ammo as we can get to keep Mom from making that call.

there is financial power of attorney and then there is guardianship of the person. Two different things. The first is management of her money and financial affairs. The second is management of her including where she lives. If you have guardianship you can take away her phone or tell the police to disregard her calls or Place her in a nursing home or assisted living.

 

[game misconduct]

the view from our hotel room supposed to be on a vacation? But yet still here on the forum browsing by cell phone i got issues maybe? Along with constantly checking to make sure graycies ok at the boarding place they said she is a bit angry and settled in eating etc

 

[BellaGooch]

Beautiful view game misconduct . The mountains and clouds are breathtaking.

 

[gilmargl]

i am thinking about what i should do today.... i slept in today and am just now getting up

I had to get up early (at least early for me) as I have to give the ferals their breakfast every morning this week. They are a short drive away and the other cat-carer is on holiday. It was especially early as my grandson was having an operation on his ankle/foot and someone needed to be available to watch him when he came home from the hospital. His parents were at work. As it happened he wasn't discharged till mid-afternoon when my daughter was available. I'm feeling quite tired ......... Tomorrow will be another early start but the ferals will get their breakfast a bit later than today! How did I manage to get up and go to work every day for most of my life? I hope you found something interesting to do. Apart from thoroughly cleaning one of the cat litter boxes in the bath, I have done precisely NOTHING SPECIAL, but it's taken all day!

 

[game misconduct]

Beautiful view game misconduct . The mountains and clouds are breathtaking.

20 mph plus winds yesterday we just stayed in our room wandered the casino a bit but i miss graycie though i don't think i am gonna do any more trips where i have to leave her behind

 

[BellaGooch]

20 mph plus winds yesterday we just stayed in our room wandered the casino a bit but i miss graycie though i don't think i am gonna do any more trips where i have to leave her behind

Wow, that’s windy! Poor Graycie. I’m sure he’s missing you but she’s probably doing fine.

 

[game misconduct]

Wow, that’s windy! Poor Graycie. I’m sure he’s missing you but she’s probably doing fine.

The pet hotel said she is kinda angry still getting settled in i guess its more i just feel nobody's gonna take care of her as good as mei did marinate a t shirt for over a week to leave with her so she has a stinky shirt of mine to sleep with during her stayand she is eating normally they saud as per feeding instructions we gave but man i was so bored this morning

 

[BellaGooch]

The pet hotel said she is kinda angry still getting settled in i guess its more i just feel nobody's gonna take care of her as good as mei did marinate a t shirt for over a week to leave with her so she has a stinky shirt of mine to sleep with during her stayand she is eating normally they saud as per feeding instructions we gave but man i was so bored this morning

Aw, poor thing.
That’s good if you!
Haha, I’d be bored if I was inside a hotel room and it was too cold to go out too!