The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2020

segelkatt

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Thank you. I just feel that having to go through this daily is sad. Every day I have to hide the cat stuff so Mom doesn't see it.otherwise she throws major fits and threatens to kill them. Every day one of the cats run off scared because of her tantrums that they hear outside. Sopdet isn't used to it like Treasure and runs off tail between legs when I move stuff. Then I have to hide my stuff as she threatens me for having smart light bulbs and other such stuff. And I"m beginning to think she has neither dementia or Alz because she chooses when to act this way. She's mean to me but doesn't act mean when others are around. She's destroyed more of my cams and stuff than I can count. And this past week has been absolutely horrendous with her. Every day I'm spending 20 minutes running stuff to the side of the house so she doesn't see it when she comes to the basement to shower and INSISTS on looking out the basement door to make sure I"M LIVING by her rules and then I spend another 20 minutes moving stuff back to the designated areas as she's going upstairs in the event she decides to look out the windows or wash them. She refuses to let me do the windows. When I do she calls the police to have me forcibly removed (this is her habit of the 65 years I've been on this earth). My health is not that great but she just doesn't seem to care. She sits and ridicules me. Always has my 65 years. I have a stuffed animal collection and she calls me a baby and asks if I want a diaper change as collecting stuffed animals is childish and she didn't know I was so mentally disturbed. The words she has always flung at me hurt my feelings deeply. Yet since she is my mother I have made myself show her respect and love trying to help her but I don't think she really appreciates the days I give up to haul her around to get her hair done and buy groceries. I do love her but she is very hurtful in the things she says and does. She throws a fit about me using these computers to make money and it's only costing 50 cents a year more. She threw a fit about a massage mit made out of plastic claiming she didn't want a fire to start. Her reasoning is off the wall. Yet again she only does this when no one else is around. She doesn't do this shopping or at the hair dresser nor does she throw these tantrums when we have the odd out of state visitor. She acts like everything is wonderful during those times. Everything I do is never done good enough. If I dust the furniture she screams that I'm not doing it fast enough or I'm doing it too fast. Doctor snitches on me if I say anything and the police and eviction thing begins

BTW: My Dad was the complete opposite. If he got mad he'd forget it as soon as it was said. He never hovered to make sure you do things his way. He was very gentle and kind. Even though he didn't like cats he would have just said "If you insist on doing this for the cats then let me build something for you so there isn't so much mess". If he saw a mess (which sometimes there is because I'm busy earning money) he'd just say "Oh boy. You have your work cut out for you" and then that's it. He'd go off and do his own thing There wasn't this constant harping and carrying on for years about a glove I left on the floor or something silly I said when I was 2 years old. Yes Mom says I was a stupid child because I was scared of the basement. She still says that now 65 years later. How am I supposed to feel about this?

No matter where I put stuff in the yard there is always a view from a window for her to see what I'm doing and throws fits if I'm even outside (because if she fell I wouldn't hear her). She won't let me put a cam on her because all technology is evil and the devils work (she was saying this about cassette players back in the 70s). So a lot of this isn't new, she's just getting worse. She won't let anyone watch her, I have no way of living on my own financially and all relatives are either dead, live 5 states away or don't care.


I know that her tantrums are one of the reasons Shaman took off like she did. It probably won't be long before all the cats run off and I won't have any to worry about because of her. :(
I guess I had not read your previous posts (I now have gone back several months) as I had been under the impression that you were a young girl with not much of a job and thus not enough income to get a home of your own. This puts a different light on the situation, your mom is 96 and you are close to Soc Sec age.
Your mom sounds like a real dragon and she deserves no respect from you. She treats you like a child and you should not have to put up with that even if she threatens eviction etc which she would never do as then she would not have anyone push around. Tell her firmly that you will not put up with her abuse anymore, that you are not her servant and she will have to do for herself from now on, that you will do for yourself from now on and that you don't care if she has a tantrum, then contact Social Services for yourself. Tell them under what circumstances you are living and that you need some help. If she throws another tantrum go to your room and shut the door, turn on loud music if necessary so you don't hear her. Treat her like a child as that is how she behaves. You DON'T have to put up with that. What else is she going to do besides scream and yell? She just might shut up from sheer surprise. She'll holler "how dare you?" Just say, "well, I do dare" which should make her take another breath.
You may also want to advertise that you are looking for a place to share or rent a room as surely you have some kind of income such as disability and should be getting Soc Sec soon. Also put in for subsidized housing, food stamps (or whatever that program is called now) and any other kind of social services you can think of FOR YOURSELF! Ask at the social services office, they know all the resources. If any of this pans out then do it, stick to your guns and follow through. This will be very hard as you have put up with these conditions for so long that they are familiar and part of the way you live. It is never too late to change anything.
By the way, what happens once she passes as we all do?
 

MoonstoneWolf

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I guess I had not read your previous posts (I now have gone back several months) as I had been under the impression that you were a young girl with not much of a job and thus not enough income to get a home of your own. This puts a different light on the situation, your mom is 96 and you are close to Soc Sec age.
Your mom sounds like a real dragon and she deserves no respect from you. She treats you like a child and you should not have to put up with that even if she threatens eviction etc which she would never do as then she would not have anyone push around. Tell her firmly that you will not put up with her abuse anymore, that you are not her servant and she will have to do for herself from now on, that you will do for yourself from now on and that you don't care if she has a tantrum, then contact Social Services for yourself. Tell them under what circumstances you are living and that you need some help. If she throws another tantrum go to your room and shut the door, turn on loud music if necessary so you don't hear her. Treat her like a child as that is how she behaves. You DON'T have to put up with that. What else is she going to do besides scream and yell? She just might shut up from sheer surprise. She'll holler "how dare you?" Just say, "well, I do dare" which should make her take another breath.
You may also want to advertise that you are looking for a place to share or rent a room as surely you have some kind of income such as disability and should be getting Soc Sec soon. Also put in for subsidized housing, food stamps (or whatever that program is called now) and any other kind of social services you can think of FOR YOURSELF! Ask at the social services office, they know all the resources. If any of this pans out then do it, stick to your guns and follow through. This will be very hard as you have put up with these conditions for so long that they are familiar and part of the way you live. It is never too late to change anything.
By the way, what happens once she passes as we all do?
Uhm she has evicted me though. On several occasions over the past year. As I said I do not have the money to live on my own. I thought I mentioned that above. And sadly if I speak up she hurts the cats. If she passes and I’m still here I get the house plus 1k a week that she’s leaving me.

And now I’m hearing gunshots from neighbors and cats are missing
 
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Katie M

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I'm finally getting a haircut today. I normally get it done in March, but, uh . . . well, not this year.

It reaches past my shoulders, which may not sound like too much of a problem, but it's very thick. The longer it is, the harder it is to wash.
20200629_120639.jpg


I'd never been to this salon before, but I think they did a great job.
 

MoochNNoodles

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New haircuts feel awesome! Especially this year!! DS is due. I cut his hair once during the shutdown. My mother has been to our usual salon and it sounds like they are ready for us. I normally don’t get my hair done often but I had it done in February. Talk about good timing! :crazy:
 

Mia6

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Sigh... I had to make a Vet appointment for Geoffrey.. a semi-urgent appointment.

Over the past 10 days, Geoffrey has almost daily, been vomiting large furballs. They listed him as a DSH; but. I swear he is medium haired. He keeps grooming himself... hating to be brushed. I try a ton to do so.

His appetite is decreased.... wanting his dry food, which is only given at night. He is on prescription food... RC Rabbit wet and dry, and Hills W/D dry-for fiber. He had bowel issues when I adopted him. I am afraid to switch his food because he has done so good with this combination.

He is only eating about 1/2 as much as he used to. G was eating at least one 6 oz can per day, in addition to a scoop of W/D and 1/2 scoop of RC Dry Rabbit.

Geoffrey has lost weight from this vomiting/furball episode. I estimate his weight was about 14 lbs. He looks to be about 12 lbs now.
He was getting 'pudgy'; now he is normal to thin.

Geoffrey is so sensitive... he was on prozac... took him off of it in November. He has done well without it.

With the weather being so hot; I have had to use the AC and the fans. He is not a fan of either.. noise.

I am really worried about him. I am trying not to put my fears out there for him; but he is so sensitive..

I am giving him laxatone, daily.... he hate this. I have to burrito him. Then he runs and hides. He is afraid of me... sigh..and when I try to brush him with a slicker brush. He hates it.... I have to hold him down... sigh..
I have a grooming glove arriving this week... My guess is that he is going to be afraid of it. He was abused by a previous owner.

My fears... trying to keep things in perspective... but, If any of you remember Artie and his issues ~~~~~~
Well, this is how it all started with him... I am so afraid.. Geoffrey is only 5 years old... At least Artie was 10 when it all started...
I have only had Geoffrey for 1.5 years... sigh...

It is just my anxiety... I know it is... I am trying to keep perspective..
Geoffrey is my therapy animal.. plus finances are bad at this point in time... I cannot put another cat through the ordeals that my sweet Artie endured.. nor do I think I am strong enough to go through it again...
As it is, Geoffrey already has FORLS~~ resorptive dental disease--had 3 teeth removed in January..

Geoffrey was so good for me, mentally, when I was in quarantine for 7weeks.. he kept me sane... sigh.. just frightened...

Thanks for listening..
I am so sorry this is happening. When my cats, now just Medium Cal, has hairballs I place a small amount of either Vitamin A&D ointment or Vaseline on the tip of her nose. She begins to lick it then ingests it. This works well. Cal is part Maine Coon and part Calico of lots of hair, She's vomited 3 times in the past week. Sounds like Geoffrey is a sensitive little guy. Always here to listen.
💖💗💓 :hugs: :grouphug2:
 

Mia6

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Prayers for Geoffrey!

Ali was gaining weight too slowly so I have to pump and give her an extra ounce or two after every feeding. Extra calories that she doesn't have to work for. And Aedan is helping!
That pic should be in a magazine!! Sooo adorable!!💖
 

Mia6

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W Willowy The sunset is amazing! I would love to frame the pic
MoonstoneWolf MoonstoneWolf Could you have social intervene on a regular basis? They must see that she is unstable and could be a danger to herself or you.
Graceful-Lily Graceful-Lily Congrats on babies and the return of kittens
W WillowMarie I would get a second opinion on the dental.
MoochNNoodles MoochNNoodles I can;t wait to have a trim and color!!
Koveshnikov Koveshnikov Nicky and Alex, congrats on the programming!! Was it difficult?

I have been cutting Cal's hair myself for the past month. Going to a groomer is out of the question as it would be too stressful for her. Her hair grows very quickly as her Maine Coon DNA is prominent. I cute about 4 knots off yesterday. She purrs while I am cutting but if I get too close to her thighs I get scratched. She is much cooler and more comfortable. I'm thinking of keeping her hair short always, only letting it get to about an inch or so when it gets cold. We'll see. Amazon sells a grooming kit with low vibrating clippers, combs and brushes. I may buy it but she is frightened of loud noises.
 
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Xraystyle

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I'm working on a new design challenge! The Joe Strummer Foundation is having a t-shirt design contest! I'm really stoked about it because Joe Strummer (is) my hero. I wish he was still around, the world could certainly use more famous guys like him.

We're supposed to use one of his quotes as the base of our design. Luckily, one of the quotes we can use is the one that's on my facebook profile! So obvious choice! The heart of the quote is "give us some truth" so i'm asking my friends to translate it into different languages for my design idea. I think I will need to ask people directly though as not enough are answering my instagram story (I don't even have a Korean translation that I didn't do myself yet!!) SO far I have Brazilian Portuguese, French, and Flemish.
 

Graceful-Lily

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I'm working on a new design challenge! The Joe Strummer Foundation is having a t-shirt design contest! I'm really stoked about it because Joe Strummer (is) my hero. I wish he was still around, the world could certainly use more famous guys like him.

We're supposed to use one of his quotes as the base of our design. Luckily, one of the quotes we can use is the one that's on my facebook profile! So obvious choice! The heart of the quote is "give us some truth" so i'm asking my friends to translate it into different languages for my design idea. I think I will need to ask people directly though as not enough are answering my instagram story (I don't even have a Korean translation that I didn't do myself yet!!) SO far I have Brazilian Portuguese, French, and Flemish.
Are you in a design program?
 

susanm9006

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I have been cutting Cal's hair myself for the past month. Going to a groomer is out of the question as it would be too stressful for her. Her hair grows very quickly as her Maine Coon DNA is prominent. I cute about 4 knots off yesterday. She purrs while I am cutting but if I get too close to her thighs I get scratched. She is much cooler and more comfortable. I'm thinking of keeping her hair short always, only letting it get to about an inch or so when it gets cold. We'll see. Amazon sells a grooming kit with low vibrating clippers, combs and brushes. I may buy it but she is frightened of loud noises.
Since she is usually mellow and lets you handle her I would consider buying a grooming sack. It’s sort of a bag with a head cut out and a bunch of zippers that you put the cat in. Then you just unzip the section you need to groom. I had a bad tempered long haired Siamese that I had shaved every year til she developed kidney disease and they couldn’t do it any more. So bagging her was the only way I could groom her and it worked pretty well.
 

MoochNNoodles

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I’ve been trying to find the instructions for DS’s train table. He’s working off a picture now but it’s hard to see some pieces and he mixed all his tracks together at some point. I figured it would be easy to find the instructions online but nope! The table came from ToysRUs so that’s likely why. I did find someone SELLING the instructions on ebay!! :headshake::jawdrop::headshake: $10 the instructions and $5 for shipping. NOPE.
 
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