The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2020

WillowMarie

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Frustrated as I received a follow up call about my inquiry of how much it would be to do a lion cut for Isabelle. My question was not answered, but they reminded me to make a dental cleaning appointment (told them 3 times already it is NOT happening right now and they area still pushing it) and was told I would be required to get a blood test, urine test, and chest x-ray before they would sedate her for lion cut, etc. because she is considered a senior now. I understand being cautious, but I also feel like they milking me for as much money as possible and pressuring me to do so. I am looking into other vets and will keep shaving out her knots myself and invest in that low vibration shaver someone recommended.
 

Katie M

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As far as job prospects go, I'm not too concerned since I'm trained for the healthcare field. Even in healthier times, it's a good bet.

I guess my life just feels kind of empty now. College was the first time in many years that I felt both challenged and able to rise to that challenge. Now it's over, and until I get work I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
 

Graceful-Lily

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Frustrated as I received a follow up call about my inquiry of how much it would be to do a lion cut for Isabelle. My question was not answered, but they reminded me to make a dental cleaning appointment (told them 3 times already it is NOT happening right now and they area still pushing it) and was told I would be required to get a blood test, urine test, and chest x-ray before they would sedate her for lion cut, etc. because she is considered a senior now. I understand being cautious, but I also feel like they milking me for as much money as possible and pressuring me to do so. I am looking into other vets and will keep shaving out her knots myself and invest in that low vibration shaver someone recommended.
That's absurd.

Reminds me of the time I took my dog in for something and she did a less accurate way of testing for the issue we thought it was first and after that did show anything, she then said, "Oh, but this one is much more accurate so we could do that. It would definitely tell us what we need to know for sure." Okay, so why didn't you do that test to begin with?? By that time, it was took late because the x-ray was already on the bill (and not cheap might I add). You gotta be careful with some vets W WillowMarie .
 

Tobermory

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YOu spend a lot of time working towards a goal that's entirely yours to make or break and when you accomplish it, your next goal (getting a job) is way more out of your control
:yeah: That’s exactly how I felt, and I graduated from college in the mid ‘70s and grad school in the late ‘80s. Unless you’re stepping immediately into a job, I think it’s common to feel a bit adrift. It’s gotta be so much worse now with the uncertainty.
until I get work I don't know what I'm going to do with myself.
And that is exactly how I felt when I quit working after 40 years! You get into a routine, and then it’s gone. I just had to develop some new routines.
 

Lari

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W WillowMarie - That is absolutely ridiculous! It does sound like they're trying to milk you for money.

When I graduated college, I still had a semester of student teaching to do, so I didn't feel as lost then, but once I finished that I think I felt it a bit more.
 

WillowMarie

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That's absurd.

Reminds me of the time I took my dog in for something and she did a less accurate way of testing for the issue we thought it was first and after that did show anything, she then said, "Oh, but this one is much more accurate so we could do that. It would definitely tell us what we need to know for sure." Okay, so why didn't you do that test to begin with?? By that time, it was took late because the x-ray was already on the bill (and not cheap might I add). You gotta be careful with some vets W WillowMarie .
Holy cow! Yeah, why didn't they do the more accurate test first or tell you there were multiple options to start with and pros and cons of each?? That's sounds so frustrating. Thanks for relating

:yeah: That’s exactly how I felt, and I graduated from college in the mid ‘70s and grad school in the late ‘80s. Unless you’re stepping immediately into a job, I think it’s common to feel a bit adrift. It’s gotta be so much worse now with the uncertainty.

And that is exactly how I felt when I quit working after 40 years! You get into a routine, and then it’s gone. I just had to develop some new routines.

Oh, this, too! It is hard for me to think of retiring because I love going to work because of the routine. Once my schedule was 4 ten hour days with 3 off in a row, and I was so bored after the third day and ready to get back to work! On the other hand, I feel more relaxed with 2 days off in a row because one day is do errands or get out of the house and the other is relax or just stay home. Since graduating high school, I worked full time before returning to school, so this past couple of months since graduating is the first time I haven't worked or been in class, and that has been hard. I did try to schedule and keep a routine, but it has never been so hard as right now. I may try again and do some productive things that are related to my field so it atleast looks like I'm doing something to learn/grow within my field, like online training.

For me it is also not knowing when I will feel safe going back to work, and if future hiring managers would judge me for not working despite having multiple job offers. (Although the one I accepted I couldn't get official offer without moving to the area first and doing pre-employment screening there, so I could just tell them that. And the other one I accepted before that offer was cancelled.) I'm trying to remind myself that a healthy boss/workplace would not judge me or anyone for not working during a pandemic. That they would have some understanding.

This is also a collective trauma we are all facing and everyone deals with it differently. It would be pretty sucky if a future bosses judged me or anyone else how we coped during this time and what we did. This is different than the stress of a job. It they compare this time with how well you'd do at their job, well, I don't want to work in a traumatic workplace or job, so no thank you! :p

W WillowMarie - That is absolutely ridiculous! It does sound like they're trying to milk you for money.
Thank you. It is nice to hear from others they feel the same. Also, since they used the word senior and they need all these test before hand, I'm almost thinking if it is that much of a risk I shouldn't even be putting her under for teeth cleanings anymore or thinking about lion cuts, ya know?? So why are they pushing it so much? But she didn't discuss any of that with me when I asked my vet about lion cuts and did not mention the extra procedures they would require! She just said someone would have to call you with an estimate because she would have to be sedated, and the person giving me the estimate hit me with all the prerequisites that would be needed, etc.
 

segelkatt

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Frustrated as I received a follow up call about my inquiry of how much it would be to do a lion cut for Isabelle. My question was not answered, but they reminded me to make a dental cleaning appointment (told them 3 times already it is NOT happening right now and they area still pushing it) and was told I would be required to get a blood test, urine test, and chest x-ray before they would sedate her for lion cut, etc. because she is considered a senior now. I understand being cautious, but I also feel like they milking me for as much money as possible and pressuring me to do so. I am looking into other vets and will keep shaving out her knots myself and invest in that low vibration shaver someone recommended.
Take your cat to an independent groomer, there should be one around. They do cuts, shaves, baths, clip claws etc and they won't ask you to also get all kinds of other things. A groomer does just that, no sedation as they are not qualified for that. They know how to handle a cat, even the worst kind. Some of them have a thing like a very small cage where the cat cannot turn around in to slash the groomer when they get a bath which is more like shower.
Your vet is trying to sell you a bunch of stuff you don't need. Why should a senior cat need to be sedated for a hair cut? And all those other tests before he can be sedated? That's bunk too. Get a different vet, this one is bleeding you.
 

segelkatt

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After reading all the other comments I can only reemphasize to get another vet. How old is Isabelle? My 20 year old Capucchino recently had been given a sedation with no problem and she has a heart murmur. If you insist in getting her teeth cleaned she can be given a light sedation just enough where she does not struggle and be done with it. Capucchino has never had a teeth cleaning and she has all her teeth. Grooming should be done by a groomer who has lots of experience, not by a groomer in a vet's office where they charge you 3 prices for what?
 

MoochNNoodles

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I do not like the sound of that vet! My vets always present the options and help me make an educated decision. They usually say “Here’s what we can do...” and we go from there and I ask questions. They are fine with letting me think on things but will let me know if time is if the essence or not. Both vets we we are married to vets. One is part owner of the clinic. They have earned my trust. They’ve never pushed me or made me feel guilty when I decided against something.

I’m going through my pantry and reorganizing today. I need a better system for canned stuff. Its like if any row is more than 3 deep; stuff gets forgotten. We need to be more careful putting groceries away so stuff is rotated too.

I have bought some extras to donate also. I’m trying to think what else would be a good donation. What might people want that isn’t often thought of?
 

Graceful-Lily

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Harvey is back!
20160609_114020.jpg

(This photo was taken June 2016)

I don't know if anyone remembers him, his brother (Hendrik), and mother (Hazel). I rescued them in the summer of 2016 around this time. I wouldn't have joined the forum if it wasn't for them because I needed help and figured I might find it here. I don't want to get into the details of the situation but my brother and his family had him and his brother. Harvey's brother ran off a while ago (but he has a new home now with other cats). He was going to go to a shelter but my mom stepped in. He's back now and I'm so happy. I missed him a lot. I hope he can bond with Felix and Fayola. I'm not sure how adding Harvey is going to shift the dynamic.

15932118824783854070485487641365.jpg
 
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MoonstoneWolf

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It's sad that my Mom chooses when to have an episode. I tried to get her diagnosed but the doctor just called her and snitched. But the other day was horrible with her tantrums and threats. Anyway, so far this morning things are quiet but I'm sure that won't last once Mom comes downstairs.
 

WillowMarie

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Take your cat to an independent groomer, there should be one around. They do cuts, shaves, baths, clip claws etc and they won't ask you to also get all kinds of other things. A groomer does just that, no sedation as they are not qualified for that. They know how to handle a cat, even the worst kind. Some of them have a thing like a very small cage where the cat cannot turn around in to slash the groomer when they get a bath which is more like shower.
Your vet is trying to sell you a bunch of stuff you don't need. Why should a senior cat need to be sedated for a hair cut? And all those other tests before he can be sedated? That's bunk too. Get a different vet, this one is bleeding you.
Thank you for this information. You know, when I was down in NC I asked my vet there to help me get a couple knots out of Isabelle's coat because they were near her belly and she was not cooperating with me flipping her on her back and staying still. My vet asked me to help hold her with the vet techs brushed the knots out. Isabelle is a lot of talk with growling and hissing, but she is just that, she has never tried to claw or bite. They were able to do that without sedation. I'm irritated the vet in IL said they had to sedate her to finish the exam. I'm wondering if my vet was irritated I wasn't giving gabepentin to Isabelle before her appointments, and she had recommended it because Isabelle gets growly. I honestly was so caught up in my anxiety I assumed Isabelle was in so much pain and didn't want the vet to touch it, but that wasn't the case since she didn't react when sedated and the exam was being done.

I'm so glad there are people here to give other options to consider. I'll check out groomers if Isabelle won't let me complete a lion's cut on her next spring before her seasonal knotting starts.

After reading all the other comments I can only reemphasize to get another vet. How old is Isabelle? My 20 year old Capucchino recently had been given a sedation with no problem and she has a heart murmur. If you insist in getting her teeth cleaned she can be given a light sedation just enough where she does not struggle and be done with it. Capucchino has never had a teeth cleaning and she has all her teeth. Grooming should be done by a groomer who has lots of experience, not by a groomer in a vet's office where they charge you 3 prices for what?
Isabelle is about 10/11 years old. Thank you for the information for the light sedation, I never knew that was an option! Oh, and it was not a blood test (although she got one when she was there), it was actually a blood pressure test. I had only wrote "blood" on my notes from listening to the voicemail and remembered last night I mistyped it here. Isabelle had been having yearly teeth cleanings before I went to school since starting this vet and she has never had any problems. My vet in NC said her teeth looked good whenever she did a physical exam of her. I understand teeth cleanings can still be important preventative care or problems cannot be seen unless an x-ray is given, but if she hasn't had problems in the past and is eating normally, that is something that can wait, if needed. Thank you for sharing your experience.

I do not like the sound of that vet! My vets always present the options and help me make an educated decision. They usually say “Here’s what we can do...” and we go from there and I ask questions. They are fine with letting me think on things but will let me know if time is if the essence or not. Both vets we we are married to vets. One is part owner of the clinic. They have earned my trust. They’ve never pushed me or made me feel guilty when I decided against something.

Yes, she has done this in the past a little more, but she seemed very irritated or something that day. I wonder if me putting restrictions by stating I was budget conscious threw her through a loop for whatever personal reasons she had. I donno, they have always been pushy, but this visit left such a bad taste in my mouth with how it was handled and with how my concerns were responded to and how they still pushed things I should come back for. I felt like she didn't want to discuss things with me.

A week or two ago when my mom was mentioning she may switch vets for Sunnie and how she feels like they over recommend procedures/treatment, she mentioned she probably spent enough to buy me a new car... Sunnie does have kidney disease and thyroid stuff which he has been treated for the past couple of years, but yikes! That's a lot! She also found out Sunnier could have Bladder cancer, but it sounded like the treatment wouldn't for sure work. My mom also realizes she cannot keep spending large amounts on vet bills because she also needs to have money for retirement years down the road, etc.. I know that is a really hard choice to make, but I understand. She has done a lot for him. He is still acting fine for now, it was found during a suggested imaging for something else.

I'm finally feeling calmer about the whole thing, thank you for everything who related, shared other options, and expressed your outrage.I am finally getting past this emotionally.
 

Willowy

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Anybody getting photos of the Sahara Sand? My feral cats are in the bushes right now.
You're in Missouri, right? It hasn't gotten here yet, I can still see 10 miles in every direction. But if it's in Missouri it should get here soon, I would think.

But it is a very pretty sunset so maybe a little is here already.
20200627_213302.jpg
 

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W WillowMarie I'm sorry the vet's office is being so pushy and demanding with you. It definitely sounds stressful

I do want to echo segelkatt segelkatt to look for an independent groomer. When we had our Maine Coon that's how we had her groomed.

MoonstoneWolf MoonstoneWolf you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. It is such a hard situation. We are going through something kind of similar with my grandmother who has Alzheimers and it's just kind of a mess right now.

Our storms are here wild and heavy. We're also in an air quality alert from Friday to Sunday evening at like 9 pm. The kitties surprisingly like the catio even in a thunderstorm! We hung around out on it for a good long time today just relaxing and listening to the rain hit the metal roof.

I've also been reorganizing and decluttering stuff for goodwill. And we got an elevated cat food and water dish and so far it's really cut down on the puking from the kitties with sensitive stomachs.
 

MoonstoneWolf

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W WillowMarie I'm sorry the vet's office is being so pushy and demanding with you. It definitely sounds stressful

I do want to echo segelkatt segelkatt to look for an independent groomer. When we had our Maine Coon that's how we had her groomed.

MoonstoneWolf MoonstoneWolf you guys are in my thoughts and prayers. It is such a hard situation. We are going through something kind of similar with my grandmother who has Alzheimers and it's just kind of a mess right now.

Our storms are here wild and heavy. We're also in an air quality alert from Friday to Sunday evening at like 9 pm. The kitties surprisingly like the catio even in a thunderstorm! We hung around out on it for a good long time today just relaxing and listening to the rain hit the metal roof.

I've also been reorganizing and decluttering stuff for goodwill. And we got an elevated cat food and water dish and so far it's really cut down on the puking from the kitties with sensitive stomachs.
Thank you. I just feel that having to go through this daily is sad. Every day I have to hide the cat stuff so Mom doesn't see it.otherwise she throws major fits and threatens to kill them. Every day one of the cats run off scared because of her tantrums that they hear outside. Sopdet isn't used to it like Treasure and runs off tail between legs when I move stuff. Then I have to hide my stuff as she threatens me for having smart light bulbs and other such stuff. And I"m beginning to think she has neither dementia or Alz because she chooses when to act this way. She's mean to me but doesn't act mean when others are around. She's destroyed more of my cams and stuff than I can count. And this past week has been absolutely horrendous with her. Every day I'm spending 20 minutes running stuff to the side of the house so she doesn't see it when she comes to the basement to shower and INSISTS on looking out the basement door to make sure I"M LIVING by her rules and then I spend another 20 minutes moving stuff back to the designated areas as she's going upstairs in the event she decides to look out the windows or wash them. She refuses to let me do the windows. When I do she calls the police to have me forcibly removed (this is her habit of the 65 years I've been on this earth). My health is not that great but she just doesn't seem to care. She sits and ridicules me. Always has my 65 years. I have a stuffed animal collection and she calls me a baby and asks if I want a diaper change as collecting stuffed animals is childish and she didn't know I was so mentally disturbed. The words she has always flung at me hurt my feelings deeply. Yet since she is my mother I have made myself show her respect and love trying to help her but I don't think she really appreciates the days I give up to haul her around to get her hair done and buy groceries. I do love her but she is very hurtful in the things she says and does. She throws a fit about me using these computers to make money and it's only costing 50 cents a year more. She threw a fit about a massage mit made out of plastic claiming she didn't want a fire to start. Her reasoning is off the wall. Yet again she only does this when no one else is around. She doesn't do this shopping or at the hair dresser nor does she throw these tantrums when we have the odd out of state visitor. She acts like everything is wonderful during those times. Everything I do is never done good enough. If I dust the furniture she screams that I'm not doing it fast enough or I'm doing it too fast. Doctor snitches on me if I say anything and the police and eviction thing begins

BTW: My Dad was the complete opposite. If he got mad he'd forget it as soon as it was said. He never hovered to make sure you do things his way. He was very gentle and kind. Even though he didn't like cats he would have just said "If you insist on doing this for the cats then let me build something for you so there isn't so much mess". If he saw a mess (which sometimes there is because I'm busy earning money) he'd just say "Oh boy. You have your work cut out for you" and then that's it. He'd go off and do his own thing There wasn't this constant harping and carrying on for years about a glove I left on the floor or something silly I said when I was 2 years old. Yes Mom says I was a stupid child because I was scared of the basement. She still says that now 65 years later. How am I supposed to feel about this?

No matter where I put stuff in the yard there is always a view from a window for her to see what I'm doing and throws fits if I'm even outside (because if she fell I wouldn't hear her). She won't let me put a cam on her because all technology is evil and the devils work (she was saying this about cassette players back in the 70s). So a lot of this isn't new, she's just getting worse. She won't let anyone watch her, I have no way of living on my own financially and all relatives are either dead, live 5 states away or don't care.


I know that her tantrums are one of the reasons Shaman took off like she did. It probably won't be long before all the cats run off and I won't have any to worry about because of her. :(
 
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WillowMarie

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W WillowMarie I'm sorry the vet's office is being so pushy and demanding with you. It definitely sounds stressful

I do want to echo segelkatt segelkatt to look for an independent groomer. When we had our Maine Coon that's how we had her groomed.

Our storms are here wild and heavy. We're also in an air quality alert from Friday to Sunday evening at like 9 pm. The kitties surprisingly like the catio even in a thunderstorm! We hung around out on it for a good long time today just relaxing and listening to the rain hit the metal roof.
Thank for the recommendation <3

The dust storm was supposed to make it here a little, but no air quality alerts have started yet. I'm being cautious and will not be letting my cats on the deck as Isabelle has asthma. There have been some beautiful sunsets around here. Have you noticed a difference in sunsets there? Being on the deck when it is raining or storming sounds lovely.

Persia choose to be on the deck the other day when it was raining. She loves being outside! It was a special circumstance as Sunnie was in my mom's room sleeping with the door closed, and my kitties were upstairs, since my mom dries my elderly friends clothes that are washed at the friends house in scented detergent (her dryer stopped working). Since the fragrance fills the downstairs when someone puts clothes cleaned in scent into the dryer and Isabelle should be kept away from all fragrance due to her asthma, I found a solution so my mom could dry her friend's clothes while keeping Isabelle safe. Since the kitties were all upstairs, and it was nice enough out the deck door stayed open, so the kitties could go out when they wanted to. At some point Sunnie woke up and wanted to be let out, but the clothes were not done yet, so I sat in my mom's room and Sunnie happily laid next to me on the bed until the scent dispersed and it was safe for my kitties to go back downstairs.

 

artiemom

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Thank you. I just feel that having to go through this daily is sad. Every day I have to hide the cat stuff so Mom doesn't see it.otherwise she throws major fits and threatens to kill them. Every day one of the cats run off scared because of her tantrums that they hear outside. Sopdet isn't used to it like Treasure and runs off tail between legs when I move stuff. Then I have to hide my stuff as she threatens me for having smart light bulbs and other such stuff. And I"m beginning to think she has neither dementia or Alz because she chooses when to act this way. She's mean to me but doesn't act mean when others are around. She's destroyed more of my cams and stuff than I can count. And this past week has been absolutely horrendous with her. Every day I'm spending 20 minutes running stuff to the side of the house so she doesn't see it when she comes to the basement to shower and INSISTS on looking out the basement door to make sure I"M LIVING by her rules and then I spend another 20 minutes moving stuff back to the designated areas as she's going upstairs in the event she decides to look out the windows or wash them. She refuses to let me do the windows. When I do she calls the police to have me forcibly removed (this is her habit of the 65 years I've been on this earth). My health is not that great but she just doesn't seem to care. She sits and ridicules me. Always has my 65 years. I have a stuffed animal collection and she calls me a baby and asks if I want a diaper change as collecting stuffed animals is childish and she didn't know I was so mentally disturbed. The words she has always flung at me hurt my feelings deeply. Yet since she is my mother I have made myself show her respect and love trying to help her but I don't think she really appreciates the days I give up to haul her around to get her hair done and buy groceries. I do love her but she is very hurtful in the things she says and does. She throws a fit about me using these computers to make money and it's only costing 50 cents a year more. She threw a fit about a massage mit made out of plastic claiming she didn't want a fire to start. Her reasoning is off the wall. Yet again she only does this when no one else is around. She doesn't do this shopping or at the hair dresser nor does she throw these tantrums when we have the odd out of state visitor. She acts like everything is wonderful during those times. Everything I do is never done good enough. If I dust the furniture she screams that I'm not doing it fast enough or I'm doing it too fast. Doctor snitches on me if I say anything and the police and eviction thing begins

BTW: My Dad was the complete opposite. If he got mad he'd forget it as soon as it was said. He never hovered to make sure you do things his way. He was very gentle and kind. Even though he didn't like cats he would have just said "If you insist on doing this for the cats then let me build something for you so there isn't so much mess". If he saw a mess (which sometimes there is because I'm busy earning money) he'd just say "Oh boy. You have your work cut out for you" and then that's it. He'd go off and do his own thing There wasn't this constant harping and carrying on for years about a glove I left on the floor or something silly I said when I was 2 years old. Yes Mom says I was a stupid child because I was scared of the basement. She still says that now 65 years later. How am I supposed to feel about this?

No matter where I put stuff in the yard there is always a view from a window for her to see what I'm doing and throws fits if I'm even outside (because if she fell I wouldn't hear her). She won't let me put a cam on her because all technology is evil and the devils work (she was saying this about cassette players back in the 70s). So a lot of this isn't new, she's just getting worse. She won't let anyone watch her, I have no way of living on my own financially and all relatives are either dead, live 5 states away or don't care.


I know that her tantrums are one of the reasons Shaman took off like she did. It probably won't be long before all the cats run off and I won't have any to worry about because of her. :(
I know you probably realize it, but you are being severely verbally abused. With all my heart, I wish you could get pit of this sitguation, and live on your own. I really do fear more reprisals from your mother.. Seriously.. It would not take much for her to physically assault you, or your kittens...

((hugs)))
 

artiemom

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Sigh... I had to make a Vet appointment for Geoffrey.. a semi-urgent appointment.

Over the past 10 days, Geoffrey has almost daily, been vomiting large furballs. They listed him as a DSH; but. I swear he is medium haired. He keeps grooming himself... hating to be brushed. I try a ton to do so.

His appetite is decreased.... wanting his dry food, which is only given at night. He is on prescription food... RC Rabbit wet and dry, and Hills W/D dry-for fiber. He had bowel issues when I adopted him. I am afraid to switch his food because he has done so good with this combination.

He is only eating about 1/2 as much as he used to. G was eating at least one 6 oz can per day, in addition to a scoop of W/D and 1/2 scoop of RC Dry Rabbit.

Geoffrey has lost weight from this vomiting/furball episode. I estimate his weight was about 14 lbs. He looks to be about 12 lbs now.
He was getting 'pudgy'; now he is normal to thin.

Geoffrey is so sensitive... he was on prozac... took him off of it in November. He has done well without it.

With the weather being so hot; I have had to use the AC and the fans. He is not a fan of either.. noise.

I am really worried about him. I am trying not to put my fears out there for him; but he is so sensitive..

I am giving him laxatone, daily.... he hate this. I have to burrito him. Then he runs and hides. He is afraid of me... sigh..and when I try to brush him with a slicker brush. He hates it.... I have to hold him down... sigh..
I have a grooming glove arriving this week... My guess is that he is going to be afraid of it. He was abused by a previous owner.

My fears... trying to keep things in perspective... but, If any of you remember Artie and his issues ~~~~~~
Well, this is how it all started with him... I am so afraid.. Geoffrey is only 5 years old... At least Artie was 10 when it all started...
I have only had Geoffrey for 1.5 years... sigh...

It is just my anxiety... I know it is... I am trying to keep perspective..
Geoffrey is my therapy animal.. plus finances are bad at this point in time... I cannot put another cat through the ordeals that my sweet Artie endured.. nor do I think I am strong enough to go through it again...
As it is, Geoffrey already has FORLS~~ resorptive dental disease--had 3 teeth removed in January..

Geoffrey was so good for me, mentally, when I was in quarantine for 7weeks.. he kept me sane... sigh.. just frightened...

Thanks for listening..
 
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