The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2019

[artiemom]

I spoke too soon. Lilah tried to swat at bee this morning..last night lilah howled at bee because she got within 2 feet of her, bee was scared all night huddling with her daddy while lilah glared at her from the chair...then this morning bee was on couch and lilah came charging at her and I stomped my foot to stop her from completing the contact-the claws were out and lilah was howling...I was able to distract Lilah and lure her with food into her room and shut the door...bee is pretty upset..

this morning someone from work expressed interest in Lilah so we may have a permanent home set up. I love Lilah but it's Bees house FIRST and if this cat is going to charge and scare bee=then she needs to find a new home-and this home would be an indoor only and she would be the only cat...

Do you think it may just be Lilah trying to make herself known? Trying to assert herself? Trying to see who is the alpha cat?

I know I would feel the same way if a new cat came in, trying to threaten Geoffrey.

BTW, I applaud you for taking in Lilah.

Whatever happens, you did a great thing by trying.

Lilah is still adjusting to not having her home, her person, new people, new cat to share things with, new food., new smells.

Look at how long it has taken Geoffrey. Almost a year. Now he is my shadow, except for when someone is at the door; then it is under my bed.

 

[tarasgirl06]

So right you are, artiemom ! *And I am so happy to read that last paragraph! What a sweet little face!*
Expecting a new cat to automatically integrate into a family/household is, in most cases, expecting too much. Think of how it is with people. Do new family additions/employees/members automatically and seamlessly adapt and know what they are supposed to do? Of course not!
It is very, very soon to expect Lila to know that she is supposed to be subordinate to Bee. They have to work this out between them, and it normally takes far longer than a couple of weeks to do so.

 

[Alicia88]

Heck, my boys still argue once in a while. Connor is the king, but Murphy and Mickey sometimes challenge that. As long as there's no blood, I wouldn't worry much.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Agree absolutely, Alicia88 ! Elvis and Suha do not get along. I don't expect them ever to get along. But I will NEVER consider rehoming Elvis! It took Sammi a year to acclimatize and fit in with the rest of what was then a larger feline family. He and Calo used to fight. There were times I had to squirt them and/or use a broom to break them up. But again, I would NEVER have considered rehoming Sammi. Adoption is for life in my family, and cats ARE family.

 

[foxxycat]

I just worry that Lilah would jump out the window and not find her way back..which is why I would like to find her a permanent home where she's the only kitty. I do know it takes a few months to settle in..but where my home is outdoor friendly and this cat hasn't been outside-I felt it would be better to find a home with someone who is actively looking for a companion cat..she came around alot sooner than I expected...I don't expect everything to be perfect-but sometimes having an indoor cat and outdoor cat can make things more complicated-we prop the door cracked and we know Lilah would open that door and see what's on the other side.

I made an appointment to get her shots updated-they can't see her until Next thursday at 4:30-so that gives us about 9 to 10 days for her to settle in...I want to be the one to bring the cat to this ladies house and see the home-kind of an home inspection but not...if I get vibes that it's not a good fit-I will bring her back...I just think she would thrive better in a home where she's the queen.

 

[Katie M]

So right you are, artiemom ! *And I am so happy to read that last paragraph! What a sweet little face!*
Expecting a new cat to automatically integrate into a family/household is, in most cases, expecting too much. Think of how it is with people. Do new family additions/employees/members automatically and seamlessly adapt and know what they are supposed to do? Of course not!
It is very, very soon to expect Lila to know that she is supposed to be subordinate to Bee. They have to work this out between them, and it normally takes far longer than a couple of weeks to do so.

I must've been insanely lucky with Charlie and Selene. The acceptance was almost instant.

I guess cats are like people-sometimes they click right away, sometimes they have to work at it.

 

[tarasgirl06]

foxxycat Yes, that makes perfect sense. I hadn't taken into account that there is outdoor access. Hopefully Lilah will get a loving indoor-only home.
@KatieM Yes, that's so true!

 

[foxxycat]

I hope people don't think that I'm treating this cat like yesterday's trash!!!!

I had put up an ad at work 10 days ago about Lilah! So it's not like I woke up, she barked and I reacted!!!!


I've been interviewing people who are interested in her to find the best home. I refuse to bring her to the shelter even though a few people recommended Laconia humane society that they are a no kill shelter and they work to group animals with the best home.

If I came off as harsh this morning, it's only because I was shocked this happened. I expected this to happen on day 1...not on day 5 lol.

But the good news is, this lady is home all day long and could grace Lilah with unlimited attention....some cats are independent. Bee is. She likes cuddles but not 24/7. This kitty seems like she would be a good fit with a retired person/couple...

 

[GaryT]

Theo likes chasing his toys down the stairs and back up when I throw them for him. He was slipping a lot on the bare steps so, I got some carpeted treads to help him. They stick down with double-backed tape that was already applied. All I had to do was peel the paper backing off and stick!

 

[tarasgirl06]

Well, for my part, I know you care a lot about Lilah, foxxycat and your assessment sounds spot on! as far as the kind of home she would feel most comfortable in.
GaryT That is one of the most adorable pix I've ever seen (of Theo ascending the steps)! Looks like he's not QUITE sure about the treads, which are beautiful BTW, yet. You have a gorgeous home!

 

[GaryT]

Well, for my part, I know you care a lot about Lilah, foxxycat and your assessment sounds spot on! as far as the kind of home she would feel most comfortable in.
GaryT That is one of the most adorable pix I've ever seen (of Theo ascending the steps)! Looks like he's not QUITE sure about the treads, which are beautiful BTW, yet. You have a gorgeous home!

Yes, he is still not sure about the change to his stairs. LOL He has already realized at least once that he gets MUCH better traction. Thanks on the home. It is a work in progress. I add as I get the extra money. Thank God it is paid for. I couldn't survive if I had a mortgage or rent payment. Just keep up with the taxes. I just got the railing up proper in the past year. The treads are a nice addition. Carpet is nice on the feet.

 

[foxxycat]

Yes, he is still not sure about the change to his stairs. LOL He has already realized at least once that he gets MUCH better traction. Thanks on the home. It is a work in progress. I add as I get the extra money. Thank God it is paid for. I couldn't survive if I had a mortgage or rent payment. Just keep up with the taxes. I just got the railing up proper in the past year. The treads are a nice addition. Carpet is nice on the feet.

He won't be scared of those treads once they start smelling like home. If you want, take a shirt you wore all day against your skin and rub the inside of shirt along each stair...it will help transfer your scent onto the new material and may help him realize that the treads are home.

When I used to live with my ex, Floey absolutely loved to play toss the toys on the stairs. It was her favorite thing. I would stand at the bottom of steps and toss mice up to the top. She would go running up the stairs and pelt it down the stairs at me. Sometimes she sat up there like a batter and pelted them back at me....stairs are lots of fun.


When I got home tonight Lilah was under the couch. She didn't come out for about 10 minutes. I immediately opened up a can of wet food and tapped the dish,,quess who came out?! Miss Queen Lilah! So she follow me into her room, I put her food down and she immediately ate it. Then snuck out and noticed she used her box. The one in hallway was used as well....

So I scooped the hallway one then went into her room...boy was she trying hard to dart out...I won by the way...she was pretty mad at me but I wanted to give Bee some time to roam the house without worrying about Lilah jumping on her...Lilah then went to lay down in the window seat I built for them...she seemed happy to look out the window. My neighbor came over and we gawked at her from outside. Lilah didn't run off or be scared....she was looking at me like she was plotting her revenge

 

[tarasgirl06]

Yes, he is still not sure about the change to his stairs. LOL He has already realized at least once that he gets MUCH better traction. Thanks on the home. It is a work in progress. I add as I get the extra money. Thank God it is paid for. I couldn't survive if I had a mortgage or rent payment. Just keep up with the taxes. I just got the railing up proper in the past year. The treads are a nice addition. Carpet is nice on the feet.

Same with our house! It's ca. 1937 Art Deco, architect built and we love it. I kept the ancient carpet because it IS comfortable and much quieter than clomping around on wood. Elvis is not a huge cat, but he stomps. We have peg-and-groove plank oak floors which are beautiful, but who wants the noise and the hard surfaces? Not I!

 

[foxxycat]

I must've been insanely lucky with Charlie and Selene. The acceptance was almost instant.

I guess cats are like people-sometimes they click right away, sometimes they have to work at it.

Some cats are easy...when I got Floey in 2001? She came in and layed across my feet. Never hid. Then when we moved to my ex home she didnt hide either. .then we moved to another home...no hiding! Then we got Pumps in the 3rd home, Floey was hissing and spitting at her...i kept the kitten Pumpkin face in the carrier all night..used a small box for litter...she purred in there all night. She was scared but never hissed.

Then the next day kept kitten locked in my bedroom and Floey in living room.. it was a small mobile home. 1 bedroom single wide. Then I think the second day let them mingle. Floey hissed but never hurt her. Thats when I met Jon and he loved the kitten. .he observed that Floey was teaching the kitten how to play...how to run across the floor and jump onto a loose rug and smash into the wall. .it was hysterical.

Then years later we added 2 other cats, pumps just hide . Floey hissed and ran off. The cats we took in weren't aggressive. Flash was playful. Henrietta was an old cat who just wanted to sleep on Jon. Then when Bee came to me, pumps hid and floey growled...they intermingled within 3 days.

I set up a divider in office and Bee knocked it over so I said well if Floey chases you, don't say I didnt warn you...Bee layed on Jon an hour after she was brought to my house...and pumps sat nex5 to him. Pumps wasn't a lap cat so it worked out.


If the lady is willing to wait until November to adopt Lilah, I think it will be less traumatic for Lilah to readjust to a new home soo soon. By then it should be good and cold so Bee won't be going outside longer than a few minutes.

It's so interesting how different cats act differently.

Bee says mom open the window...no!!!

She growled meowed and howled

This was 15 minutes ago. Here's Bee after she jumped up on my lap for treats...she feels more comfortable with Lilah in her own bedroom...

 

[tarasgirl06]

Some cats are easy...when I got Floey in 2001? She came in and layed across my feet. Never hid. Then when we moved to my ex home she didnt hide either. .then we moved to another home...no hiding! Then we got Pumps in the 3rd home, Floey was hissing and spitting at her...i kept the kitten Pumpkin face in the carrier all night..used a small box for litter...she purred in there all night. She was scared but never hissed.

Then the next day kept kitten locked in my bedroom and Floey in living room.. it was a small mobile home. 1 bedroom single wide. Then I think the second day let them mingle. Floey hissed but never hurt her. Thats when I met Jon and he loved the kitten. .he observed that Floey was teaching the kitten how to play...how to run across the floor and jump onto a loose rug and smash into the wall. .it was hysterical.

Then years later we added 2 other cats, pumps just hide . Floey hissed and ran off. The cats we took in weren't aggressive. Flash was playful. Henrietta was an old cat who just wanted to sleep on Jon. Then when Bee came to me, pumps hid and floey growled...they intermingled within 3 days.

I set up a divider in office and Bee knocked it over so I said well if Floey chases you, don't say I didnt warn you...Bee layed on Jon an hour after she was brought to my house...and pumps sat nex5 to him. Pumps wasn't a lap cat so it worked out.


If the lady is willing to wait until November to adopt Lilah, I think it will be less traumatic for Lilah to readjust to a new home soo soon. By then it should be good and cold so Bee won't be going outside longer than a few minutes.

It's so interesting how different cats act differently.


View attachment 302290
Bee says mom open the window...no!!!

She growled meowed and howled

View attachment 302291
This was 15 minutes ago. Here's Bee after she jumped up on my lap for treats...she feels more comfortable with Lilah in her own bedroom...

Both Samuda and Tarifa were like that from the word go. Both came to us in our 1,100 sq. ft. "little house (almost) on the freeway" to a large feline family. Both were social and friendly with everyone. I have never seen Tar get mad at anyone, and Samuda didn't either.

 

[Offy]

Probably going to bring the mood of this thread right down but I just need somewhere to vent about the loneliness and helplessness I feel when there's unrest in my cat household. Have a bad case of non-recognition aggression atm and having to keep all my cats pretty separate for the time being but with no guarentee it will resolve when I try to intergrate them again. I love my cats so much, rescued them and their mum on the day they were born, and they are so happy with each other until one goes to the vets then it's hell. Just hell. I just want my happy cat family back.

 

[foxxycat]

Have you tried scent swapping O Offy ?

A friend from work says their friend uses towels in their sleep area, let them sleep on towel or blanket then 2 days later, swap them. Do the same with the poop. Switch them to other cat box and continue to keep separate...sometimes the scent is what sets them off.

After a week or two of swapping, can you get a cheap babygate or something like this and put it in the door? I am going to try the screen for the door if my meathead cats fight anymore..they can see each other but can't attack.

Another thing is playing with them at the same time...watch the body language...my resident cat does not like sharing. She gets awfully pissy if she sees me using a toy on other cat then put it in her face, she gets this look on her face...another time I tied shoe strings together and dangled one end to one cat and other at other end...usually they give in to it...

How long have you had the kitties and what kind of environment did they come from?

 

[Lari]

View attachment 302283

Look at how long it has taken Geoffrey. Almost a year. Now he is my shadow, except for when someone is at the door; then it is under my bed.

That picture of Geoffrey just makes my heart melt. What a sweetie.

~~~~~~~

I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety this week. We had a field trip Tuesday, which is always super stressful, and parent-teacher conferences are tomorrow and there are a couple parents I'm dreading seeing because they're very high maintenance and demanding. I've been stress sweets eating which makes me feel guilty especially with the overeating around my sister's wedding. And fiancé is leaving for his bachelor party tomorrow during the day, so if conferences are a disaster, he won't even be home for hugs and cuddles.

I'm just looking forward to them being over.

 

[tarasgirl06]

That picture of Geoffrey just makes my heart melt. What a sweetie.

~~~~~~~

I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety this week. We had a field trip Tuesday, which is always super stressful, and parent-teacher conferences are tomorrow and there are a couple parents I'm dreading seeing because they're very high maintenance and demanding. I've been stress sweets eating which makes me feel guilty especially with the overeating around my sister's wedding. And fiancé is leaving for his bachelor party tomorrow during the day, so if conferences are a disaster, he won't even be home for hugs and cuddles.

I'm just looking forward to them being over.

*Get plenty of C.A.T.!*

 

[Offy]

Have you tried scent swapping O Offy ?

A friend from work says their friend uses towels in their sleep area, let them sleep on towel or blanket then 2 days later, swap them. Do the same with the poop. Switch them to other cat box and continue to keep separate...sometimes the scent is what sets them off.

After a week or two of swapping, can you get a cheap babygate or something like this and put it in the door? I am going to try the screen for the door if my meathead cats fight anymore..they can see each other but can't attack.

Another thing is playing with them at the same time...watch the body language...my resident cat does not like sharing. She gets awfully pissy if she sees me using a toy on other cat then put it in her face, she gets this look on her face...another time I tied shoe strings together and dangled one end to one cat and other at other end...usually they give in to it...

How long have you had the kitties and what kind of environment did they come from?

Thanks for the reply. I haven't tried scent swapping just yet because I think the cat that went to the vets still smells funky. At least when they smell her on me, it enough to set my other cats off spitting. It something I will so though and I will definitely start switching the litter boxes around too - thanks for that advice.

I think when she starts to smell and look like her old self again (she had liquid paraffin treatment so half of her looks like a drowned rat, I'll let the others see her and slowly start playing and giving them treats together. I suspect one of her sisters will be easier than the other one is hypersensitive. Incidentally, those two have also fallen out with each other as a result of the upset.

I've had the cats since May 17. Their mum was dumped as a kitten and gave birth near to where I live. I brought them all home on the day they were born.