The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2018

[NY cat man]

Ouch! Roger and I got married in the mountains, an hour after sunrise in a pretty little meadow that has since been taken over by a housing development. We had a friend play "In the Garden" on his guitar rather than "The Wedding March" (horrible song). My father-in-law thought it was horrible that we weren't having "The Wedding March" and put a huge effort into trying to find a sound system so he could foist "The Wedding March" on us; fortunately he was unsuccessful. But he also hired a bus to bring family members up to the mountains, which made good sense, but the driver thought that at altitude he might not be able to restart the bus if he turned the engine off so we have these horrible noises in the background of the audio tape of our wedding. And at our reception my grandmother said to me, in a surprised voice, "It was a nice wedding after all!" I don't know what she expected, maybe that we'd wear blue jeans and promise to hate each other?

If the mother of the bride has certain expectations, you're doomed before you start. I suggest that it's time to ask her for her assistance in planning the wedding and booking the venue, etc..


@Mamanyt1953 is the resident expert on herbs....

Margret

It all worked out OK anyway, and we're coming up on our 47th anniversary soon enough, so we must have done something right.

 

[Margret]

It all worked out OK anyway, and we're coming up on our 47th anniversary soon enough, so we must have done something right.

We celebrated our 43rd anniversary this year.

Something always goes "wrong" at weddings. I figured out a long time ago that that's what ring bearers and flower girls are for - small children are magnets for something to go "wrong" and whatever it is will just be cute and funny when it's a small child doing it.

My mother told me a long time ago to always take safety pins and a small sewing kit to weddings, that the bride would love me forever. She was right!

Margret

 

[NY cat man]

We celebrated our 43rd anniversary this year.

Something always goes "wrong" at weddings. I figured out a long time ago that that's what ring bearers and flower girls are for - small children are magnets for something to go "wrong" and whatever it is will just be cute and funny when it's a small child doing it.

My mother told me a long time ago to always take safety pins and a small sewing kit to weddings, that the bride would love me forever. She was right!

Margret

The only thing that went 'wrong' at our wedding was that it was so hot, and I was sweating so much, that when the best man put the ring on the book, and the preacher put it in front of me, I couldn't pick it up. I had to slide the ring into my hand so I could put it on her finger.

 

[Lari]

Lari I have no patience for girl stuff with weddings or home decorating. I would be like yeah flowers are fine, just make them prettty...the only thing that I would be interested in wedding planning is the food. Lol. Got to have good food. And music at the reception. The rest of it I totally agree with you....piddly fiddly details....good luck! I understand your frustration!!!

Lari
If Michele would have had her way, we would have eloped, but her mother had other ideas.

Normally I don't care about fiddly stuff, but seeing as this is the only time I plan to get married, I want it to be special and magical, so I'm going to have to care once. But I get overwhelmed easily.

So, JUST did this less than 2 years ago. My best advice? Try to relax and not get too worked up over it. My whole wedding fell down around my ears. My bridesmaids didn't bother getting their dresses, half of the groomsmen didn't show, my mother rolled her vehicle on her way there (she was fine and made it, but late), the phone we had the wedding playlist on decided to go kaput - absolutely nothing went according to plan. I still ended up married. I still got to be a beautiful bride. At the end of the day, the rest of it didn't matter that much.
I was so stressed trying to get our wedding planned, I developed an eye twitch. Literally. As soon as I got there, even though everything fell apart, the eye twitch was gone.

I also would have to say that with weddings just relax and go with the flow. We had all kinds of little mishaps. Pick a venue first and pick the date from that unless you have a specific date that means something to you. From there book everything that fills up far in advance (caterers, music/dj, officiants, photographers, ect). Get your dress or whatever you're wearing as early as possible because so much goes wrong in this area.

That's all good advice, thanks. I've got a couple dates next November in mind because he doesn't want to wait too long, so once I'm able to tour and get availability for the few venues I'm considering, I'll feel like I'm getting somewhere.

One of my student's mom is an event planner. I may be picking her brain a bit.

 

[Margret]

The only thing that went 'wrong' at our wedding was that it was so hot, and I was sweating so much, that when the best man put the ring on the book, and the preacher put it in front of me, I couldn't pick it up. I had to slide the ring into my hand so I could put it on her finger.

The minister put the wrong date on our wedding certificate; we had to correct it with the state later. And my dad, who had a friendly feud going with my out-of-state aunt, picked a Colorado Columbine and gave it to her to wear (in Colorado it's illegal to pick the state flower).

On a more somber note, my aunt, the mother of one of my bridesmaids, had a heart attack during the wedding, probably brought on by the altitude. Roger's uncle noticed what was happening and got help for her immediately. The thing is, if it hadn't happened at the wedding it would probably have happened soon anyhow, and likely when she was alone or with someone who didn't have the resources to help, so having that heart attack at the wedding may well have saved her life. She finally passed away last year. Roger's uncle passed a few years ago, but my cousin still thinks of him as a hero for saving her mother's life.

One of my student's mom is an event planner. I may be picking her brain a bit.

That sounds like a very good plan.

Margret

 

[LTS3]

Wedding flowers are a huge expense that just gets tossed into the trash at the end of the day. If you plan on having fresh flowers, consider donating them to a nursing home or hospital or other place after the festivities. Look around for a place now and make the arrangements. Don't just show up somewhere after the wedding with the flowers.

Or consider artificial flowers. Paper flowers are quite popular. Etsy has a ton of paper flower sellers and many do custom wedding bouquets and table settings and such.

Alicia88 what tater tot casserole recipe did you use? I made one earlier this week and it's kind of meh

 

[AbbysMom]

Sometimes I think I'm not adult enough to plan a wedding. I haven't even managed to lock down a date/venue yet.

You are about to get on an ugly roller coaster for a bit. No matter what, remember this day is about you and your fiance. The two of you before all others. You will probably have a few mini nervous breakdowns, but you know what? It's going to be OK and all these little details you are going to stress about really don't matter. You are going to do fine.

You JUST got engaged. You get to breathe for a bit and bask in that. I know competition is tight for venues, but whatever you do, breathe.

Find a trusted friend/helper. Your mother? Maid of honor? Sibling? Lean on them and don't feel bad about it. You are going to need to unload and you are going to need honest advice. You are going to need help and don't feel you need to do it all yourself. You are about to find out who you can truly count on in your life.

My niece got married a little over a year ago and it was in a tent in someone's backyard, so there was rentals for furniture, tent rental, caterers, etc. The details were ridiculous. She started a binder with sections for everything. It REALLY helped her stay organized. She even started putting flower ideas, etc into the binder so when it came time to sit down with the florist, the florist had an idea of what she was looking for. Same with bridesmaid's dresses. She put styles and color ideas in the binder so when it came time to shop it was easier to narrow things down.

Start a thread about your wedding here. Vent away all you want. We all also love pictures and ideas and all of that.

Good luck!

 

[Alicia88]

Wedding flowers are a huge expense that just gets tossed into the trash at the end of the day. If you plan on having fresh flowers, consider donating them to a nursing home or hospital or other place after the festivities. Look around for a place now and make the arrangements. Don't just show up somewhere after the wedding with the flowers.

Or consider artificial flowers. Paper flowers are quite popular. Etsy has a ton of paper flower sellers and many do custom wedding bouquets and table settings and such.

Alicia88 what tater tot casserole recipe did you use? I made one earlier this week and it's kind of meh

I just mixed hamburger, cream of mushroom, onion soup mix, and green beans, added a huge layer of shredded cheese, then the layer of tater tots, and sprinkled it with a good amount of garlic and onion powder and just a bit of garlic salt.

 

[LTS3]

I'll try sweet potato tots next time. The regular ones remind me of too many years of school lunches.

 

[Alicia88]

Mmmm, that sounds amazing. I should do that the next time I make it.

 

[Lari]

You are about to get on an ugly roller coaster for a bit. No matter what, remember this day is about you and your fiance. The two of you before all others. You will probably have a few mini nervous breakdowns, but you know what? It's going to be OK and all these little details you are going to stress about really don't matter. You are going to do fine.

You JUST got engaged. You get to breathe for a bit and bask in that. I know competition is tight for venues, but whatever you do, breathe.

Find a trusted friend/helper. Your mother? Maid of honor? Sibling? Lean on them and don't feel bad about it. You are going to need to unload and you are going to need honest advice. You are going to need help and don't feel you need to do it all yourself. You are about to find out who you can truly count on in your life.

My niece got married a little over a year ago and it was in a tent in someone's backyard, so there was rentals for furniture, tent rental, caterers, etc. The details were ridiculous. She started a binder with sections for everything. It REALLY helped her stay organized. She even started putting flower ideas, etc into the binder so when it came time to sit down with the florist, the florist had an idea of what she was looking for. Same with bridesmaid's dresses. She put styles and color ideas in the binder so when it came time to shop it was easier to narrow things down.

Start a thread about your wedding here. Vent away all you want. We all also love pictures and ideas and all of that.

Good luck!

I didn't even think to start a wedding thread here! Anyone who isn't interested can easily ignore it. I might just do that, to give myself another place to get down ideas. I work well bouncing ideas off others, or even just writing them down. I do have a binder to use, courtesy of my future SIL, so I need to start using it.

Also noted about the flowers LTS3 - a conservatory was on my list so I wouldn't have to worry about it, but it may be out of my budget.

 

[Graceful-Lily]

Running off and getting married sounds so romantic and all this wedding talk is making me think about it... but I'd need someone to run off with...

 

[NY cat man]

Running off and getting married sounds so romantic and all this wedding talk is making me think about it... but I'd need someone to run off with...

The funniest part is, prior to our starting to date, while I was home on leave, I hadn't seen Michele in 9 years, at which time (she was 9, and a holy terror) I had told her that if I caught up, I would rip her arm off and beat her over the head with the bloody end of it. Who knew?

 

[Graceful-Lily]

N NY cat man - Perfect! There is still hope for me then. A few gentlemen come to mind, ha!

 

[segelkatt]

All this talk about weddings. Why do all the bridesmaids have to wear the same dress? I went to a Catholic church wedding where the 3 bridesmaids and the maid of honor just wore nice dresses that they usually wore to church, none of them matched or were even similar. The bride wore her mother's wedding dress which looked like it had just been designed and not a "hand-me-down", it looked very modern but modest as this was a Catholic wedding. It came with a form-fitting bolero-style lace jacket which she took off at the reception. The groom wore a rental tux, the best man wore a dark suit. The groom was not Catholic so a Protestant minister also officiated. They had a reception afterwards at a clubhouse where the bride's parents had a membership so there was no charge for the room, the kitchen provided big stuffed croissants and salad and lots of wine and beer for a big donation by both sets of parents. Dancing afterwards with music with a disc jockey who was a friend of the couple. My late spouse took all the pictures (he had been a photographer in a previous life). It was a lovely wedding and reception and they saved a ton of money which they could use to start their life together. People spent vast amounts of money for what? $3,000 for a dress which is worn one day only? Bridesmaids dresses which none of them like and can't use again and that they can't afford? These two people are still married some 25+ years later and they did not start out with a huge debt due to a fancy wedding. When did this start that people had to have a wedding fit for a princess?

 

[Graceful-Lily]

If the love is there, it's strong and genuine then everything else shouldn't matter, right? You can find just about anything on amazon nowadays and for a fairly good price too.

 

[Margret]

I've been looking at my new (used) Baby Lock BL9 sewing machine. It came with a zigzag presser foot and a buttonhole presser foot. The manual seems to assume that there's no need for a plain old straight stitch foot; when explaining how to select and sew a straight stitch it says to use the zigzag foot. Is it worth my time to search out and buy a straight stitch foot? I'm wondering whether it would work better with really light weight fabrics than the zigzag foot. Obviously I'll have to get a zipper foot; are there any others that spring to anyone's mind? I've already stocked up on the correct bobbins, and plan to get a variety of needles; what am I missing?

Margret

 

[Willowy]

Why do all the bridesmaids have to wear the same dress?

Nobody HAS to do anything. It's their wedding; they can do it the way they want. Whether it's barefoot on the beach with everybody in swimsuits, everybody wearing clothes they already own, or the whole "traditional" shebang. Whatever is agreeable to both parties (and couples may want to consider their mothers' opinions just to keep the peace). They're the only ones that matter in a wedding.

 

[NY cat man]

All this talk about weddings. Why do all the bridesmaids have to wear the same dress? I went to a Catholic church wedding where the 3 bridesmaids and the maid of honor just wore nice dresses that they usually wore to church, none of them matched or were even similar. The bride wore her mother's wedding dress which looked like it had just been designed and not a "hand-me-down", it looked very modern but modest as this was a Catholic wedding. It came with a form-fitting bolero-style lace jacket which she took off at the reception. The groom wore a rental tux, the best man wore a dark suit. The groom was not Catholic so a Protestant minister also officiated. They had a reception afterwards at a clubhouse where the bride's parents had a membership so there was no charge for the room, the kitchen provided big stuffed croissants and salad and lots of wine and beer for a big donation by both sets of parents. Dancing afterwards with music with a disc jockey who was a friend of the couple. My late spouse took all the pictures (he had been a photographer in a previous life). It was a lovely wedding and reception and they saved a ton of money which they could use to start their life together. People spent vast amounts of money for what? $3,000 for a dress which is worn one day only? Bridesmaids dresses which none of them like and can't use again and that they can't afford? These two people are still married some 25+ years later and they did not start out with a huge debt due to a fancy wedding. When did this start that people had to have a wedding fit for a princess?

Michele made her own wedding dress.

 

[NY cat man]

N NY cat man - Perfect! There is still hope for me then. A few gentlemen come to mind, ha!

As the saying goes- where there is life, there is hope.