The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2018

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Alicia88

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We bought some Terro traps cuz I didn't want to put cotton balls everywhere. The traps seem less messy. I just checked the one we put right outside the back door. The ants are swarming it. Maybe we'll kill those off. I put one under the oven, but I can't get to it easily to take a peek. We've only had a few in the kitchen. And I put one under the part of the computer desk that nearly touches the floor. I can't get to that one either. But they're also swarming the one right outside the front door. I figure if I can't get to them, neither can the cats. I pushed them back far enough, they can't be reached with a paw. One of the cats puked the other night and I found it in the living room the next morning just covered in thousands of ants. So I'm hoping I get that nest.
 

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Rusty Spotted cats are classified as "small" cats. I wanted to find out the smallest of the "big" cats.
And, of course, the Black Footed cat of Africa is the smallest of the "small" cats, I think. Definitely the smallest in Africa, with males not going over about 5 pounds. It is also, incidentally, considered the most ferocious. Pity, given how sweet they look.



WELL...last night as I sat outside, I noticed Brutus (the BIG racoon that opens our dumpster doors) climbing out of the pine tree next to the dumpster. Imagine my surprise and delight when "Brutus" was followed by FIVE little mini-mes! "Brutus" is now "Porcia," who in history was Brutus' (of e tu, Brutus fame) wife. There are few things cuter than baby racoons, and BOY were they smart! They were too small to climb directly up the dumpster, but very quickly figured out how to use the tunnel thing that the truck's forks fit in to give them the necessary boost!
 

arouetta

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It does kinda look like a stuffed animal.

I think the Rusty spotted cat and the Black footed cat are tied for smallest. Their physical dimensions are nearly identical.
 

Alicia88

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Raccoons are very intelligent. My sister's friend once found a nest of starving baby raccoons. No clue what had happened to their mother. Could have been anything. But the babies were in bad shape. She rescued them and my sister took one. I only know what happened to my sister's raccoon after this point. She raised him up, was told that it was illegal to keep him, trained him to find food, and let him go in the middle of nowhere. He was a fast learner. I just hope he never ran across any nefarious humans.
And, of course, the Black Footed cat of Africa is the smallest of the "small" cats, I think. Definitely the smallest in Africa, with males not going over about 5 pounds. It is also, incidentally, considered the most ferocious. Pity, given how sweet they look.



WELL...last night as I sat outside, I noticed Brutus (the BIG racoon that opens our dumpster doors) climbing out of the pine tree next to the dumpster. Imagine my surprise and delight when "Brutus" was followed by FIVE little mini-mes! "Brutus" is now "Porcia," who in history was Brutus' (of e tu, Brutus fame) wife. There are few things cuter than baby racoons, and BOY were they smart! They were too small to climb directly up the dumpster, but very quickly figured out how to use the tunnel thing that the truck's forks fit in to give them the necessary boost!
 

Alicia88

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I know I've posted a lot about Aislyn lately, but here's another one. Sorry. If you have any input, I'll be glad to hear it. Otherwise, consider this a bit of a vent. You guys make a great sounding off board and we're kinda like family here.
Sorry, I seem to have written a book.
First of all, I want to share this photo.
ADHD.jpg

I saw this and it fits Aislyn to a "t."
When she's talking, she kinda stumbles through her sentences, like she can't keep track of what she's trying to say.
She forgets things almost instantly - and not just rules or things she's supposed to. For example, the other day, we were talking about meat and what animals different meats come from. She asked, so we were answering. John listed off all the meat that comes from pigs - bacon, ham, pork chops, etc. Before even mentioning any other animal, he asked, "what animal does ham come from?" And she said, "I don't remember!" This happens consistently.
If you get after her for anything, she cries. Even something as gentle as, "Please don't interrupt. Wait until someone is done speaking before you talk," she bursts into tears.
I said something the other day about her never being able to find anything. I said it in a laughing matter. "You're about as good at looking for things as your daddy, which isn't very good at all!" And she burst into tears. Made me feel bad because I was kidding with her.
She constantly interrupts, no matter how often we correct her.
She's very messy, but I'm not sure this one counts cuz she's 5 and most 5 year olds are a mess.
She definitely has trouble finishing things on time. She very rarely has time limits on what she's supposed to do - except picking up her toys at bedtime or she purposely dawdles to avoid bed, but she gets very distracted while doing it - even since I made the rule: "You go to bed at 10, no matter what. If your toys aren't picked up, anything that is left out gets put away and you can't play with it tomorrow." I always ask her to pick up toys an hour before bedtime and if she finishes early, she can keep one thing out to play with. It definitely shouldn't take that long, but it often does because her mind wanders and she'll start doing something else.
She doesn't say "no" exactly, but she argues about the rules so that one doesn't really fit her.
She does have a very hard time decisions. I try to give her choices so she feels like she has more control over her life to minimize tantrums, but she seems to have a very hard time choosing dinner or choosing between dresses.
She has a really hard time with new people - even kids. I understand shyness but hers is like shyness on steroids.
I have a plan. Everyone I've talked to who has ADHD or a child with ADHD agrees that caffeine has the opposite effect. Instead of making them hyper, it settles them down and helps them focus. Aislyn rarely gets soda and if she does, it's always caffeine free. But I think I'm going to buy a mountain dew or something and give her a cup of it and see how she reacts. If she gets insanely hyper, I'm gonna forget about the whole thing. If it does seem to help her focus or be more calm, less emotional, etc., John is going to have to figure out a way to bring it up to her mother. However, her mother may already know. Aislyn says that her mother lets her have "brown coffee." At first, I thought this was just another instance of her mother being crazypants or Aislyn saying something to try to manipulate us into giving her what she wants. Now, I'm beginning to wonder if her mother knows something we don't and hasn't passed on the information. Aislyn isn't hyperactive like boys with ADHD, but I worry that if she does have it and it goes untreated, she'll have difficulty in school. I don't want that for her.

There's another issue that I'm very concerned about - even more so than the possible ADHD. She seems to like saying that she's hurt or sick for attention. Several days ago, she said she had a bad headache. So I gave her some tylenol. Seconds after swallowing it, she was jumping up and down and hollering. I said, "I thought you had a headache." She admitted that she said that for attention. It was shortly after I gave Aedan some Tylenol for teething. Almost every day, she says her tummy hurts, but she continues playing like she's fine. A few days ago, she was saying that her private parts hurt. Of course I took it seriously because that's a sensitive area. She didn't want me to look so I took her to John's mother and she said everything looked fine. But, you can look fine and still have an issue so John argued with her mother until she was finally willing to give him Aislyn's insurance information and we took her to the doctor. There's nothing wrong with her. They ran all the usual tests and nothing came up. They're running cultures, which will take a few days so we're going to follow up, but I doubt anything will come of it. And she only complained that it hurt if she wasn't currently the center of attention. John and his mother both say that Aislyn's mother is a massive hypochondriac. I'm beginning to feel concerned that Aislyn may be picking up her habits. Oh, and she still hasn't lost the tooth that she says has been hurting. Anyway, how do I when she's telling the truth? I don't want to write something off as attention-seeking and find out that there really was something wrong. I don't know how to deal with this at all. This could end up being very damaging later in life! Someone suggested therapy, but she's going back to her mother's in a few weeks. That really isn't an option unless we could get her mother to take her, but if her mother is the root of the problem, I don't see that happening. It's quite frustrating. It's like the boy who cried wolf. I told her that story, by the way. I guess we'll see if the lesson takes.

On a brighter note, Aedan is SO advanced. At his 6 month checkup, he was 18 lbs 4 oz and 26 inches long. Big boy! He said, "mama" on his 6 month birthday. He's been sitting up on his own for a couple of weeks. He can crawl a few steps. That started a few days ago. Two days ago, he went from hands and knees to sitting up all on his own with no help. He loves to stand in the window. All things he shouldn't be even close to doing yet.
However, I am a bit concerned about his teeth. His "eye teeth" are coming in. They're not supposed to be his first teeth, but he follows his own schedule. He's having a lot of trouble with them and I've been told those are the hardest to cut. He's been working on them for 3 months. They'll poke through, then go back into the gum. But my concern is that his teeth are going to come in like mine. I have fangs - my eye teeth stick out - because my mouth is too small for my teeth. My mother was unable to get me to an orthodontist because we were poor and only orthodontist in this area accepted medicaid and he was always booked to the end of his schedule and she called every week. He had a waiting list for cancellations and I never made it to the top. Anyway, the bumps for Aedan's teeth aren't on the bottom of the gum. They're on the front. The pediatrician said his teeth might be coming in like mine but the only thing to do right now is to wait and see. Eek!
 

arouetta

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As far as Aislyn, now that you have insurance information definitely talk to a doctor. Frankly I'm appalled that the mother hadn't given it to you guys a long time ago - if Aislyn developed strep throat or broke an arm, did the mother expect her to just wait for medical treatment until it was mom's week? ADHD in girls is a very real thing, and it causes havoc for a lifetime. I've got ADHD and this part of my life I will forget what I'm talking about mid-sentence. My daughter was actually diagnosed and put on medication at age 2 because it was so clear cut.

As far as caffeine, it can't hurt but I'm doubtful. I heard the same things when my daughter was young and I asked her psychiatrist. He told me that if it was strong enough to help it would be a prescription medication. He also said that if caffeine was strong enough to hurt kids, it'd definitely be strong enough to help and it would be prescription only. The reason why it and other stimulants apparently have an opposite effect is because it's not having an opposite effect. All stimulant ADHD drugs work exactly the same on people without ADHD. It allows hyperfocusing, which is why it's so popular among college students, because it stimulates parts of the pre-frontal cortex. People with ADHD have the parts of the pre-frontal cortex involved with attention and impulse control being underactive, so stimulants rev them up enough to act like normal.
 

dustydiamond1

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I know I've posted a lot about Aislyn lately, but here's another one. Sorry. If you have any input, I'll be glad to hear it. Otherwise, consider this a bit of a vent. You guys make a great sounding off board and we're kinda like family here.
Sorry, I seem to have written a book.
First of all, I want to share this photo.
View attachment 243541

I saw this and it fits Aislyn to a "t."
When she's talking, she kinda stumbles through her sentences, like she can't keep track of what she's trying to say.
She forgets things almost instantly - and not just rules or things she's supposed to. For example, the other day, we were talking about meat and what animals different meats come from. She asked, so we were answering. John listed off all the meat that comes from pigs - bacon, ham, pork chops, etc. Before even mentioning any other animal, he asked, "what animal does ham come from?" And she said, "I don't remember!" This happens consistently.
If you get after her for anything, she cries. Even something as gentle as, "Please don't interrupt. Wait until someone is done speaking before you talk," she bursts into tears.
I said something the other day about her never being able to find anything. I said it in a laughing matter. "You're about as good at looking for things as your daddy, which isn't very good at all!" And she burst into tears. Made me feel bad because I was kidding with her.
She constantly interrupts, no matter how often we correct her.
She's very messy, but I'm not sure this one counts cuz she's 5 and most 5 year olds are a mess.
She definitely has trouble finishing things on time. She very rarely has time limits on what she's supposed to do - except picking up her toys at bedtime or she purposely dawdles to avoid bed, but she gets very distracted while doing it - even since I made the rule: "You go to bed at 10, no matter what. If your toys aren't picked up, anything that is left out gets put away and you can't play with it tomorrow." I always ask her to pick up toys an hour before bedtime and if she finishes early, she can keep one thing out to play with. It definitely shouldn't take that long, but it often does because her mind wanders and she'll start doing something else.
She doesn't say "no" exactly, but she argues about the rules so that one doesn't really fit her.
She does have a very hard time decisions. I try to give her choices so she feels like she has more control over her life to minimize tantrums, but she seems to have a very hard time choosing dinner or choosing between dresses.
She has a really hard time with new people - even kids. I understand shyness but hers is like shyness on steroids.
I have a plan. Everyone I've talked to who has ADHD or a child with ADHD agrees that caffeine has the opposite effect. Instead of making them hyper, it settles them down and helps them focus. Aislyn rarely gets soda and if she does, it's always caffeine free. But I think I'm going to buy a mountain dew or something and give her a cup of it and see how she reacts. If she gets insanely hyper, I'm gonna forget about the whole thing. If it does seem to help her focus or be more calm, less emotional, etc., John is going to have to figure out a way to bring it up to her mother. However, her mother may already know. Aislyn says that her mother lets her have "brown coffee." At first, I thought this was just another instance of her mother being crazypants or Aislyn saying something to try to manipulate us into giving her what she wants. Now, I'm beginning to wonder if her mother knows something we don't and hasn't passed on the information. Aislyn isn't hyperactive like boys with ADHD, but I worry that if she does have it and it goes untreated, she'll have difficulty in school. I don't want that for her.

There's another issue that I'm very concerned about - even more so than the possible ADHD. She seems to like saying that she's hurt or sick for attention. Several days ago, she said she had a bad headache. So I gave her some tylenol. Seconds after swallowing it, she was jumping up and down and hollering. I said, "I thought you had a headache." She admitted that she said that for attention. It was shortly after I gave Aedan some Tylenol for teething. Almost every day, she says her tummy hurts, but she continues playing like she's fine. A few days ago, she was saying that her private parts hurt. Of course I took it seriously because that's a sensitive area. She didn't want me to look so I took her to John's mother and she said everything looked fine. But, you can look fine and still have an issue so John argued with her mother until she was finally willing to give him Aislyn's insurance information and we took her to the doctor. There's nothing wrong with her. They ran all the usual tests and nothing came up. They're running cultures, which will take a few days so we're going to follow up, but I doubt anything will come of it. And she only complained that it hurt if she wasn't currently the center of attention. John and his mother both say that Aislyn's mother is a massive hypochondriac. I'm beginning to feel concerned that Aislyn may be picking up her habits. Oh, and she still hasn't lost the tooth that she says has been hurting. Anyway, how do I when she's telling the truth? I don't want to write something off as attention-seeking and find out that there really was something wrong. I don't know how to deal with this at all. This could end up being very damaging later in life! Someone suggested therapy, but she's going back to her mother's in a few weeks. That really isn't an option unless we could get her mother to take her, but if her mother is the root of the problem, I don't see that happening. It's quite frustrating. It's like the boy who cried wolf. I told her that story, by the way. I guess we'll see if the lesson takes.

On a brighter note, Aedan is SO advanced. At his 6 month checkup, he was 18 lbs 4 oz and 26 inches long. Big boy! He said, "mama" on his 6 month birthday. He's been sitting up on his own for a couple of weeks. He can crawl a few steps. That started a few days ago. Two days ago, he went from hands and knees to sitting up all on his own with no help. He loves to stand in the window. All things he shouldn't be even close to doing yet.
However, I am a bit concerned about his teeth. His "eye teeth" are coming in. They're not supposed to be his first teeth, but he follows his own schedule. He's having a lot of trouble with them and I've been told those are the hardest to cut. He's been working on them for 3 months. They'll poke through, then go back into the gum. But my concern is that his teeth are going to come in like mine. I have fangs - my eye teeth stick out - because my mouth is too small for my teeth. My mother was unable to get me to an orthodontist because we were poor and only orthodontist in this area accepted medicaid and he was always booked to the end of his schedule and she called every week. He had a waiting list for cancellations and I never made it to the top. Anyway, the bumps for Aedan's teeth aren't on the bottom of the gum. They're on the front. The pediatrician said his teeth might be coming in like mine but the only thing to do right now is to wait and see. Eek!
:grouphug2::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes::goodluck::hangin::hearthrob::hugs::redheartpump:
 

dustydiamond1

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Katie M

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Have you seen the kitten lately? Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 is right, bus stop is too close to the road for safety.
Yes, the kitten and its littermates seem to live at that house. They're always hanging out on the porch, and there's food and water there.

The problem now is that they get excited when they see me coming and wind up following me down the road.
 

Alicia88

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As far as Aislyn, now that you have insurance information definitely talk to a doctor. Frankly I'm appalled that the mother hadn't given it to you guys a long time ago - if Aislyn developed strep throat or broke an arm, did the mother expect her to just wait for medical treatment until it was mom's week? ADHD in girls is a very real thing, and it causes havoc for a lifetime. I've got ADHD and this part of my life I will forget what I'm talking about mid-sentence. My daughter was actually diagnosed and put on medication at age 2 because it was so clear cut.

As far as caffeine, it can't hurt but I'm doubtful. I heard the same things when my daughter was young and I asked her psychiatrist. He told me that if it was strong enough to help it would be a prescription medication. He also said that if caffeine was strong enough to hurt kids, it'd definitely be strong enough to help and it would be prescription only. The reason why it and other stimulants apparently have an opposite effect is because it's not having an opposite effect. All stimulant ADHD drugs work exactly the same on people without ADHD. It allows hyperfocusing, which is why it's so popular among college students, because it stimulates parts of the pre-frontal cortex. People with ADHD have the parts of the pre-frontal cortex involved with attention and impulse control being underactive, so stimulants rev them up enough to act like normal.
We've argued with her mother for years about leaving us her insurance card just in case something happened. She lives 3 hours away. It's not like she's in the same town or even the next town over. She still refused to send us pictures of the card, which the office wanted, and only gave us the numbers. I don't get it. I would want to be sure my kid could see a doctor if necessary.
As someone with ADHD, in your personal opinion, does it sound like Aislyn might have it?
 

Mamanyt1953

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Anyway, how do I when she's telling the truth? I don't want to write something off as attention-seeking and find out that there really was something wrong. I don't know how to deal with this at all. This could end up being very damaging later in life!
This was my mother's rule, strictly enforced. "If you feel bad, you have to go to bed. No toys, no television, no excitement. You may read quietly." It cut out on, oh, say, 95% of the "getting out of doing something I don't want to do" and "I want attention" sicknesses!

I asked her psychiatrist. He told me that if it was strong enough to help it would be a prescription medication.
I heard the same thing, but I have to say that Zac did much better when I started giving him coffee. Doctors can say what they want, but it is hard to argue with success. Worth a try, certainly.

The problem now is that they get excited when they see me coming and wind up following me down the road.
What a perplexing ethical issue...the kittens obviously "belong" at that house, but they are also obviously lonely and neglected. I'm not certain what I would actually do, but I sure know what I would be tempted to do!
 

arouetta

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What about knocking on the door and be friendly and how worried you are about the bus stop? Maybe they don't realize how far the kittens wander.
 

kashmir64

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What about knocking on the door and be friendly and how worried you are about the bus stop? Maybe they don't realize how far the kittens wander.
I hate to say this, but if the people let kittens that age wander around outside, then they probably don't care.

Maybe they're hoping someone at the bus stop will take one or two (or all).
 

arouetta

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Or they don't know better. I grew up with the household belief that it's cruel to keep a cat in if it wants to go out. That's just how it was in the whole community, everyone thought that.
 

Alicia88

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This was my mother's rule, strictly enforced. "If you feel bad, you have to go to bed. No toys, no television, no excitement. You may read quietly." It cut out on, oh, say, 95% of the "getting out of doing something I don't want to do" and "I want attention" sicknesses!



I heard the same thing, but I have to say that Zac did much better when I started giving him coffee. Doctors can say what they want, but it is hard to argue with success. Worth a try, certainly.



What a perplexing ethical issue...the kittens obviously "belong" at that house, but they are also obviously lonely and neglected. I'm not certain what I would actually do, but I sure know what I would be tempted to do!
My friend's son - the one who has Marcy - is ridiculously ADHD. To the point where he's just nuts if unmedicated. I was babysitting him once before he was officially diagnosed and, with his mother's permission, gave him caffeine. He was calm the rest of the night.
 

Alicia88

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And I think I'll use your mother's rule and see how it goes. If she doesn't feel good, she can go lay down. I tried telling her that if she says she's sick and I give her medicine but she's not really sick, the medicine can make her sick. Didn't work.
 

arouetta

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I'll see if they're outside on Monday. Oh, I'm getting nervous just thinking about a confrontation :bawling2:
Don't think of it as a confrontation. Don't approach it as a confrontation. Just a friendly one cat lady to another that the kittens are roaming all the way to the edge of the road and you are worried (s)he doesn't realize they are within a couple of feet of the actual road and you are worried they will get hit. And that you be seen them follow people to the road's edge.
 
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