The "What's on your mind?" Thread -2017

[dustydiamond1]

I have never liked my Dad at all

I broke one of the cats' bowls again I was drying it and it somehow slipped out of the towel and smashed onto the counter And it was the one I had bought to replace one I had dropped and broken a couple months ago too Maybe I should buy stainless steel bowls now.

Try Correll bowls, they are very tough.

 

[dustydiamond1]

It's probably so management can easily track everyone on the main team. It's not like anyone on the main team helps cover my team's work when someone is out or vice versa anyways. We can still have our calendar, the new supervisor would just need to add our time off to the main calendar which isn't hard or time consuming to do. I'd make that suggestion but I don't want to come across as too pushy and a b**** about it.

The department is rolling out what they are calling a career ladder. It's to align our department with the rest of the company and those job titles. I'm still stuck as an associate 1 My manager, perhaps sensing my disappointment, said that he was well aware that I want to grow in my career and encouraged me to discuss with my new supervisor to set a plan in place to get me where I want to be. He also made sure to thank me for keeing the facilities from falling apart over the last few months during the transition from the lab to the department and for my years of work at the company. I made sure to point out that it's been 12 years since yesterday. I don't know, it all came off as a little fake like he was just saying thanks and all that beause it's just something you do during a discission of this type. And maybe he said all that so I wouldn't cry

I have no idea if my one co-worker is still an associate 1 or was moved up to an associate 2. Doubtful since she lacks the skills and experience and certification required. She's still in a bad mood. She pointedly did not sit next to me and our new sueprvisor at a meeting today even though there were plenty of seats available. If it's not resentment towards me because I have help every day and she doesn't, it's probably something in her personal life which I'm not going to pry into.

 

[amysuen]

Our 18 yr old son is breaking up with his girlfriend. They've been together 2+ years and are going to the same college in the fall. I feel really bad for his girlfriend, she's super-sweet and I know she's going to be devastated. THIS is why I try not to get involved with our kids' relationships or attached to their girl/boyfriends...

 

[Mamanyt1953]

My step sister died on Sunday. She was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer 3.5 years ago. She had just turned 50 in April.
We've been sisters since Jan. 1, 1983. We haven't lived in the same city for 18 years and the last time I saw her was 11 years ago when I helped my mom & step dad move to my city.
My step dad is 81 and has been in a rehab/nursing home since December after a fall at home. My poor mom is turning 70 on Friday and things aren't hopeful for my step dad ever coming home.
No one wants to outlive their children... I'm sad for so many different reasons right now. Just needed to say this to someone.

Did I somehow miss this post? Darlin, I am so very, very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Our 18 yr old son is breaking up with his girlfriend. They've been together 2+ years and are going to the same college in the fall. I feel really bad for his girlfriend, she's super-sweet and I know she's going to be devastated. THIS is why I try not to get involved with our kids' relationships or attached to their girl/boyfriends...

Yeah. I know about this, as the mother of two grown sons. I tried not to get overly attached before the actual wedding ceremony. I mean, I LIKED them (all, frankly), but I had to protect myself from hurting along with the girls when they turned out to be "Miss Right Now," not "Miss Right."

 

[artiemom]

Oh, LTS3 I really feel for you. Your predicament sounds so familiar; I could have authored all of this for you. I was treated the exact same way.

I have been reading and wanting to comment, yet I have nothing to add that could help you. I wish I did have an answer.

I do not have an answer. I know I tried everything..yet, the results were always the same.

It was as if I were already type-cast, and nothing I could do would change things. I feel for you..It is very hard, if not impossible to change others opinions, especially when it is related to work and work cliques...

yes, as @foxxycat stated, it is all lip service. They want to appear to be open to fresh ideas, but when presented it by oneself, they do not listen or take it seriously. Yet, the same ideas can be presented by someone else, and they go ga-ga over it.. I have been there.

This is when you realize your worth. They do not realize your potential. They see you as an 'underling' or someone who is not worthy of contributing to the "team".. yup, not a 'team-player"... oh, how I hate that term.. it is the current buzz word in employment.

The problem is, when a person initially becomes an employee, they have to become part of the clique.. If you are not, then you are labeled as worthless. Oh yes, they count on you to do more than your share of work, but never acknowledge the toll it takes on you. You cannot be 'quiet' either. But try to do that now, and it is taken as not being a "team player", or becoming questioning; a malcontent....It is so maddening.. frustrating.

I do not have an answer. All I know is that it continually became harder and harder for me to work in this type of environment. I had to put blinders on, and constantly defend myself.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[tallyollyopia]

Well last night turned into a huge argument about dumb dryer. I ordered the parts I was told to order-and he had a fit. Said we could buy a new one for goodness sake. And I told him the drum has to come out. I can't reach the fuse with the front panel on. I got some of the computer clips apart but there's one I can't get apart. I also marked each connection with a special pattern so I know where things go together. I told him I will lift the drum. Just get the front panel off and I will deal with the damn drum.

So we didn't speak all night. I swear I don't understand his attitude. It's not like he's never fixed things before. He's always working on his heavy equipment and puttering..I figured he would enjoy something to do other than watch tv. I guess he doesn't like the fact my home is small and no room to put parts. I said just stick the drum in the kitchen. It's fine. I just frustrated. I figured he would like to save some CASH. I bought the parts not him!! WTH?!! ​

Maybe he doesn't feel confident enough to try to take it apart and put it back together. Does he fix things on a regular basis?

I've got to buy a narrow putty knife=that's what the guy used in the video=It's doable=just sucks at end of a busy day I just want to eat, put my feet up and go to bed after watching tv. The last thing I want do is play around with some dumb machine at the hottest time of the day. The parts won't be in until Saturday and that fuse won't be in until Monday. I found the fuse online at Wal-Mart and it was only $8 and gave discount for me to pick up instore. They will hold for 7 days.

I just don't understand why he's whining about this-he's retired and lays on my couch all day=so what if he has to mess around with a dryer?! He needs it more than I do-I air dry most of my clothes. He hired some handyman to fix it last time and it cost $600=and the dork didn't check any of the stuff I told him to check-fuse and thermostat. He didn't even run the computer diagnostics on the control panel. And the biggest issue was the first motor was broken-so reorder another one=took 3 weeks to get fixed. Then it still didn't work-so ordered computer board=then it worked=I still say it was the ECM because of the way it was acting-pushing some buttons caused different functions to work. Good grief.

So my reasoning was we would replace the high limit switch and fuses and see if it works-I also bought heater element but I don't think that's what it was but since it wasn't replaced the last time around-probably go ahead and replace it- the real kicker will be if the fuse box on the wall only blew a half of the block-we should have checked this before we tore it apart...let's hope the heater works when we fix it-he's worried we won't be able to put it back together=it doesn't look too complicated to put back together-but I said to him-get your garage built so we can take it up there and have room to work...he's annoyed with me because I have stuff everywhere.

I still have bagged clothes to take to goodwill I keep forgetting to toss into my truck plus the books in my truck I need to get priced and put into my book booth...I should have spent those two weeks off work doing that instead..but nope I was down on the picket line-and unemployment had no issues with us picketing. Because it was a lockout instead of "Strike". They expedited our case and people got paid 5 days later after the hold period.

I also am catching up on pacer dot gov documents concerning the bankruptcy of my employer-very interesting data has come out! Now we need the business plan to see if we are viable. Next court date is July 13 and 25. So the 25 I imagine will have that information or at least they have to present to the bankruptcy judge. I will be monitoring all electronic filed documents to see if I find any info to give us clues of how long we have a job for and when the hammer falls.

Sorry about the dryer.

just found out they will give us holiday pay for the day we were locked out. So July 3 and 4 will be holidays. We have lost 14 people now. They are trying to stop the onslant. Many of us have resumes and interviews..the tide is leaving=and they will learn the hard way that Monday talks and BS walks. If they don't pay the going rates=people will leave. Right now we have 3 big unions in Mass and NH who are desperately looking for people and paying decent wages. After I burn my vacation time I have been considering putting in to work on the road and make the big bucks. I need to refresh myself but I think I could do the tasks at least as a welders helper or assistant in the beginning.

Congratulations on the pay!

Well...the shopping got done, everything got put away, and I had time to eat before my conference call. MAN was I wiped out. Good to get back to normal.

Congratulations.

Is it bad to suck up to the new supervisor not even two weeks after she started? I was talking to someone in the lab about his upcoming house closing. he said he was going to take that day off and the week afterwards to move. I asked who was going to cover the work in the facility and he said he didn't know. So I emailed the new supervisor to let her know that there won't be any facility coverage by the lab on XYZ days. I suggested that since we have extra help on Mondays and Fridays and a new person on board next week, we could manage the coverage ourselves without needing to ask the lab for help. Then I proposed how the staff's time could be allocated on XYZ days. I closed the email with a "let me know if the team can support this suggestion". I probably won't get a response until tomorrow. This is something my co-worker wouldn't have done.

I'm kind of trying to put myself on the supervisor's good side to be in a better place for a promotion Not really sure if it would do much good since everyone in management has to approve a promotion and my past history with the department will likely be brought up at some point in discussions by certain people and my supervisor may change her mind about promoting me Besides the new hire is already BFFs with the supervisor so favoritism may come into play.

Good luck!

 

[tallyollyopia]

I'm trying to get back on the diet after my calorie increase to combat starvation mode. But I've been craving chocolate like crazy. Well, what if I looked at sugar-free chocolate? Yeah, no. Russell Stover sugar-free stuff actually has more calories per piece than regular Andes' mints and most of the Hershey's and Mars miniatures bags. I found a bag of Reese's sugar-free mini peanut butter cups and compared those to the regular ones. Only 5 less calories per piece, and I don't know why the difference is so small. Saturated fat and total carbs were within a gram of each other. Cholesterol and total fat were identical. Carb breakdown was hugely different, the regular only had 2 or 3 grams of fiber while the sugar-free ones had 6 grams of fiber and 20 grams of sugar alcohols, leaving 1 countable carb. So with a dramatic reduction in sugar and no increase in other carbs, I can't figure out where all those calories are coming from.

On the plus side, at work yesterday I checked out my appearance in a mirror and my pants were super baggy. Turns out I've dropped another pants size. And this drop means I've gone from plus size clothes to the regular women's section. Yippee!!!

Congratulations on your loss! Baggy pants are a good, if expensive, thing to have. Now you can celebrate by buying a new pair to shrink out of.

Sometimes a craving for chocolate is actually a need for magnesium. You might try taking a modest supplement or find a food that's rich in it. Of course, a good piece of chocolate can be a very satisfying reward for your weight loss, too. Moderation is the key. Studies have shown that denying a craving can result in overeating something else. Find a piece of really delicious chocolate and let it melt very slowly in your mouth, resisting the urge to chew it. The longer-lasting sensation will make you think you've eaten more than you have, resulting in greater satisfaction.

I'll be part of your weight loss cheering section.

So much for taking the initiative to find upcoming coverage and suggesting a way to cover the work. Manager kind of shot the idea down, saying the lab is providing full coverage on Mondays and Fridays as agreed upon so one person being out won't matter. Um, no one in the lab actually comes to do the work. It's just the one person for the most part. No response from the new supervisor about this so far.

I still can't figure this out: they want suggestions and ideas and alawys go on a spiel about how they welcome and encourage all that but when I offer one, it gets shot down and later at review time I'm told that I don't offer suggestions / ideas Maybe I'm just not presenting the suggestion or idea the right way??

I think they are giving you lip service. My company does the same. I don't give suggestions anymore. I just come in. Do my job. Go home. I don't make any offers for improvement-I have suggested many different things in the 14 years I have been here-it's like talking to the wall. They say they want suggestions-but then when you do suggest something=they get mad because it's not tHEIR idea. My suggestion=back off and let it go. Be open to suggestions but they don't want us minions to make ripples even if our ideas make sense...hard to do I know.
I am sorry they are not being reasonable. I understand your frustration!

Doc assistant said it's not a bad injury-thinks tendonitis and I have a bone spur in the joint where it hurts. I can't lift my toe without assistance. They said keep taking aleve and come back in 6 weeks. gave me metal inserts to wear but I can not get my foot into the boot with it-I had to take the insert out to put it in there-so I have no arch support. I had thicker socks on-I have to locate new thin larger size socks-the small ones squeeze my foot and cause intense pain!

I understand problems with the shoes.

They do accept ideas, just from certain people With my previous supervisor on a different team, I had to bring ideas and suggestions to the team lead and let her present it to the supervisor because he'd listen to her and let her do whatever she wanted. Of course, she'd end up getting all the credit If I brought it up directly to the supervisor, I got shot down in a such a condenscending way that I'd always end up in tears. I think I brought this up to HR once but the HR person dismissed it I honestly want to say the next time I'm ask for a suggestion this, " I have a suggestion that may solve the issue but I'm not going to say it because you're just going to shoot it down and make me feel like an for even coming up with a suggestion"

Be careful with that. It might make you feel better, but it could also get you in trouble.

LTS3 I'm going to play armchair psychiatrist. Is it possible that your family conditioned you during your childhood to ask for things in a way that's really passive? A passive approach to suggestions in a business environment would result in repeated negative responses. Maybe you could listen to how you present things and then ask people close to you (that want you to succeed) how you can make it a confident and assertive approach.

Our 18 yr old son is breaking up with his girlfriend. They've been together 2+ years and are going to the same college in the fall. I feel really bad for his girlfriend, she's super-sweet and I know she's going to be devastated. THIS is why I try not to get involved with our kids' relationships or attached to their girl/boyfriends...

Sounds like the legion of boys LS left behind when she moved. AWM suggested they create a support group.

Did I somehow miss this post? Darlin, I am so very, very sorry. My thoughts are with you and your family.



Yeah. I know about this, as the mother of two grown sons. I tried not to get overly attached before the actual wedding ceremony. I mean, I LIKED them (all, frankly), but I had to protect myself from hurting along with the girls when they turned out to be "Miss Right Now," not "Miss Right."

Oh, LTS3 I really feel for you. Your predicament sounds so familiar; I could have authored all of this for you. I was treated the exact same way.

I have been reading and wanting to comment, yet I have nothing to add that could help you. I wish I did have an answer.

I do not have an answer. I know I tried everything..yet, the results were always the same.

It was as if I were already type-cast, and nothing I could do would change things. I feel for you..It is very hard, if not impossible to change others opinions, especially when it is related to work and work cliques...

yes, as @foxxycat stated, it is all lip service. They want to appear to be open to fresh ideas, but when presented it by oneself, they do not listen or take it seriously. Yet, the same ideas can be presented by someone else, and they go ga-ga over it.. I have been there.

This is when you realize your worth. They do not realize your potential. They see you as an 'underling' or someone who is not worthy of contributing to the "team".. yup, not a 'team-player"... oh, how I hate that term.. it is the current buzz word in employment.

The problem is, when a person initially becomes an employee, they have to become part of the clique.. If you are not, then you are labeled as worthless. Oh yes, they count on you to do more than your share of work, but never acknowledge the toll it takes on you. You cannot be 'quiet' either. But try to do that now, and it is taken as not being a "team player", or becoming questioning; a malcontent....It is so maddening.. frustrating.

I do not have an answer. All I know is that it continually became harder and harder for me to work in this type of environment. I had to put blinders on, and constantly defend myself.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[tallyollyopia]

All right, just discovered this morning that if there's a problem with our next inventory audit we'll be getting a new manager. (There will be a problem, as someone's--probably an employee--is stealing from the store. Oddly enough--they're stealing coffee--which can only be made in the commercial store pots. ) So, I'm frantically looking for employment elsewhere before that happens--but the promotion to lead hasn't finished going through yet. Should I wait for it, or try jumping now?

Bright side--I managed to make the shoes bearable. The problem was (and I don't know why I didn't find this in the store) is the tongue of the shoe is sewn in wrong--instead of making a smooth seam the makers pinned the two pieces together and created a rough seam, which was digging into my feet. I've got it smoothed over with gorilla tape to help keep it from digging into the tops of my feet. So, that's a plus. One of my customers, when I explained the problem with the shoes, accused me of getting counterfeit shoes from the flea market. (I didn't, of course--the flea market doesn't carry my size.) But it did get me to thinking--could the legit store I shop at have accidentally gotten counterfeits without realizing it?

 

[LTS3]

Checking work emails...

So the supervisor set up a team calendar and said that she will take care of adding entries to the main calendar and blah blah blah. Um, that's what I suggested to you last week and it wasn't really well received and the manager shot that suggestion down by saying we should just use the main calendar

And she went ahead to get a price quote for something I suggested. Which is ok, I guess, but I kind of feel that she should have given me the opportunity to do that. I come up with the suggestion and it gets ignored. Then someone takes the suggestion and follows through with it and gets all the credit

And the whole coverage thing for someone's vacation is a mess Supervisor come up with a tentative schedule but she doesn't have the right people on the right days. She's been told who works on what days and in which facility Manager still says lab should do the work as agreed upon and I was being too dramatic when I expressed concerns that the work would not be done by the lab and the supervisor needs to talk to the lab head about coverage.

 

[Margret]

From the number of pages I just read, and the number of messages I find myself quoting, I conclude that I've been too involved with other things for the last few days.

You might try making a keystone garden, at least in the backyard with shade loving plants. The whole point of a keystone garden is to bring the ground level up so that it's easier to work. Some of them are very beautiful.

I tried Googling "keystone gardens" and discovered a firm by that name. A very expensive firm that does landscaping and gardening for people rich enough to afford them. Could it be that you meant a keyhole garden? Keyhole Gardening: Create Keyhole Garden Beds In Your Garden

Does this sound fishy? When the supervisor position was posted, we got a couple of candidates and brought 3 external ones in for an interview. We ended up hiring one of the external candidates. One of the other external candidates was offered the regular associate position and she accepted. The person who was previously the supervisor knows people in the industry and found out that not only does the new supervisor and new associate know each other, but they are BFFs and both are friends / former college buddies of one of the other supervisors in the department. It just seems strange that both of them applied for the same position and both were hired, one as the supervisor and the other as an associate. And neither are industry certified which was a requirement in the job posting. Of everyone now on the team or soon to be on the team (just heard that our contract position was filled), I have the highest certification.
I have a feeling the supervisor, her BFF, and my current one co-worker will be clique-y. I cannot stand cliques

Yes, it's fishy.

Last night, in the deep quiet hours
I sat, silent.
Across from me, on a swath of grass
Dotted by trees and bushes
Silvered by moonlight
One shadow emerged and became
A cat.
Close on her heels came
Two more, tiny little mites.
They played there,
Mama and kits
Gamboling on the lawn
Until headlights flashed by
(a neighbor wending his way home from work)
Quietly those three shadows slipped beneath
Their pampas grass home
And I was alone again,
Entranced and wondering...

Gorgeous. With your permission I'm putting that one in my filk book.

Well, the guests are finally gone, so I can vent. And this is just venting--no need to read further. IB's grandfather (not related to us) died and he came down for the weekend for the funeral. The original plan was for him to stay at his parents' place (he's adopted and AWM has been advocating reconciliation for some time) while Rose stayed with us (he couldn't find a pet sitter for her, and was afraid to stick her in a kennel for the four-day trip). Well, that quickly got thrown out the window when he remembered how much he doesn't like his parents, so he ended up staying with us. Excuse me--he and his GF (who wasn't supposed to come down) ended up staying with us. This meant that all my careful plans to keep Rose separated from the other cats (whom she hasn't seen in almost a year) were thrown completely and totally out the window as he decided that she missed her kittens. (She didn't. She's been enjoying the life of a single cat and is now totally spoiled rotten.) Oddly enough, she got along with the other cats--for the most part. For some reason, she developed a hatred for Princess. She would ambush Princess while sleeping, block her away from food, and everything I did to try and mitigate the problem was countered. Bad enough--except he also decided to throw several parties while he was here! Without informing us! I will be the first to admit (unless someone from work is asking and then I lie my little rear off) that I am not a people person. Going from work where I have to pretend to like people all night (not to mention training the whining priss who tried to make me angry at my AM for being late--she has a three-month-old--life happens) to a party on the back porch (the front door is broken) is just--just too much for me. And then I get scolded (by the GF who seems to be auditioning for Sister-In-Law) for being unsociable. Not only that, but every time I tried to retreat into my laptop or a book I had people peering over my shoulder, grabbing and pulling down the screen of the laptop (I threatened to bill one of the jerks who did that) just so that they could see what I was doing on the internet (hence, why I had to wait for them to leave). To top this madness off, she was sick and the smell of anything stronger than toast (and no, pregnancy is not a possible cause) made her ill. Now, I have no sense of smell--but I work hard at work, both physically and mentally, and when I get home I need food. Real food, with nutrients, and not dry toast. (And this is the same woman who was perfectly fine sitting out on the back porch in a cloud of cigarette smoke--I really don't think my frozen dinners were torture.) However, she was sick, and IB was grieving (I think), so before they left I baked them a loaf of banana bread (recipe over in the Foodie section) for them to take home. (This was while all of us were still sick from the pollen of that plant I mentioned a few posts ago, for context.) She turned right around and tried to guilt me into baking a second loaf (when it was all I could do to make the first one) and then, while I was trying to be calm and pleasant, IB came over and said that he wanted to leave the spoiled rotten cat here, and take timid little Asia with him back home. I got very unpleasant at that (and probably said a few words that I shouldn't have, all things considered), and made sure that when they left I was able to account for all my cats. And then, and then IB demanded to know why I didn't trust him! It's possible that the lack of down time made me overreact to some things--but I'm pretty sure I reacted with just the right amount of anger at others.

Well, I'm signing off to get ready for bed so I can go to work tonight. At least tomorrow morning I won't have to deal with all the other stuff I've been dealing with, and can actually get some down time before work.

I'm sorry, but if that were one of my relatives he would no longer be welcome in my home.

And the editor is now informing me that I've quoted so many messages I'll have to go to multiple postings.

Margret

 

[Margret]

I give up The new associate director was copied on the emails about the shared calendar and he just wants one calendar for the entire team (the main team and my team) to use. It just annoys me that people say they're open to suggestions and ideas and blah blah blah but whenever I make a suggestion it gets shot down every single time And then those same people say that I never make suggestions and am not a team player and blah blah blah So what exactly do they want?

I don't feel comfortable telling my co-worker about my work restrictions at all. She'll probably hear it from the new supervisor anyways since they're slowly getting chummy with each other. Then she might tell the guys in the lab who may tell other people We are working July 4 together and she's going to have to help me.

It's probably so management can easily track everyone on the main team. It's not like anyone on the main team helps cover my team's work when someone is out or vice versa anyways. We can still have our calendar, the new supervisor would just need to add our time off to the main calendar which isn't hard or time consuming to do. I'd make that suggestion but I don't want to come across as too pushy and a b**** about it.

The department is rolling out what they are calling a career ladder. It's to align our department with the rest of the company and those job titles. I'm still stuck as an associate 1 My manager, perhaps sensing my disappointment, said that he was well aware that I want to grow in my career and encouraged me to discuss with my new supervisor to set a plan in place to get me where I want to be. He also made sure to thank me for keeing the facilities from falling apart over the last few months during the transition from the lab to the department and for my years of work at the company. I made sure to point out that it's been 12 years since yesterday. I don't know, it all came off as a little fake like he was just saying thanks and all that beause it's just something you do during a discission of this type. And maybe he said all that so I wouldn't cry

I have no idea if my one co-worker is still an associate 1 or was moved up to an associate 2. Doubtful since she lacks the skills and experience and certification required. She's still in a bad mood. She pointedly did not sit next to me and our new sueprvisor at a meeting today even though there were plenty of seats available. If it's not resentment towards me because I have help every day and she doesn't, it's probably something in her personal life which I'm not going to pry into.

Is it bad to suck up to the new supervisor not even two weeks after she started? I was talking to someone in the lab about his upcoming house closing. he said he was going to take that day off and the week afterwards to move. I asked who was going to cover the work in the facility and he said he didn't know. So I emailed the new supervisor to let her know that there won't be any facility coverage by the lab on XYZ days. I suggested that since we have extra help on Mondays and Fridays and a new person on board next week, we could manage the coverage ourselves without needing to ask the lab for help. Then I proposed how the staff's time could be allocated on XYZ days. I closed the email with a "let me know if the team can support this suggestion". I probably won't get a response until tomorrow. This is something my co-worker wouldn't have done.

I'm kind of trying to put myself on the supervisor's good side to be in a better place for a promotion Not really sure if it would do much good since everyone in management has to approve a promotion and my past history with the department will likely be brought up at some point in discussions by certain people and my supervisor may change her mind about promoting me Besides the new hire is already BFFs with the supervisor so favoritism may come into play.

That's not sucking up. It's taking him at his word and giving him a chance to be a good leader. Too bad he failed the test.

They do accept ideas, just from certain people With my previous supervisor on a different team, I had to bring ideas and suggestions to the team lead and let her present it to the supervisor because he'd listen to her and let her do whatever she wanted. Of course, she'd end up getting all the credit If I brought it up directly to the supervisor, I got shot down in a such a condenscending way that I'd always end up in tears. I think I brought this up to HR once but the HR person dismissed it I honestly want to say the next time I'm ask for a suggestion this, " I have a suggestion that may solve the issue but I'm not going to say it because you're just going to shoot it down and make me feel like an for even coming up with a suggestion"

Checking work emails...

So the supervisor set up a team calendar and said that she will take care of adding entries to the main calendar and blah blah blah. Um, that's what I suggested to you last week and it wasn't really well received and the manager shot that suggestion down by saying we should just use the main calendar

And she went ahead to get a price quote for something I suggested. Which is ok, I guess, but I kind of feel that she should have given me the opportunity to do that. I come up with the suggestion and it gets ignored. Then someone takes the suggestion and follows through with it and gets all the credit

And the whole coverage thing for someone's vacation is a mess Supervisor come up with a tentative schedule but she doesn't have the right people on the right days. She's been told who works on what days and in which facility Manager still says lab should do the work as agreed upon and I was being too dramatic when I expressed concerns that the work would not be done by the lab and the supervisor needs to talk to the lab head about coverage.

So much for taking the initiative to find upcoming coverage and suggesting a way to cover the work. Manager kind of shot the idea down, saying the lab is providing full coverage on Mondays and Fridays as agreed upon so one person being out won't matter. Um, no one in the lab actually comes to do the work. It's just the one person for the most part. No response from the new supervisor about this so far.

I still can't figure this out: they want suggestions and ideas and alawys go on a spiel about how they welcome and encourage all that but when I offer one, it gets shot down and later at review time I'm told that I don't offer suggestions / ideas Maybe I'm just not presenting the suggestion or idea the right way??

Dysfunctional families frequently have one member who is the (unstated) designated scapegoat. This frequently happens in dysfunctional workplaces as well, and your workplace sounds exceptionally dysfunctional.

Additionally, you're getting all of the "good ole boy" techniques that are regularly used to put and keep women down. Appropriating the suggestions that a woman makes, so that she sounds like a whiner when she complains, forming cliques that women (or most women) aren't allowed to join and that are a prerequisite for getting ahead, etc.. One of the really frustrating things about it is that, for many men, these actions and attitudes are so deeply ingrained that they don't even realize they're doing it. However, there are ways to combat it when the women involved decide to work together. Check out the first few paragraphs of this story: White House women want to be in the room where it happens

I should mention that it appears to me that it would be a good idea for you to start job-hunting. You really are in a toxic work environment, and it's unlikely to change. If you can possibly get out you should, unless you think it's worth putting in the effort to try to change it, as a public service to other women. But if you decide to go that route you need to know up-front that you're unlikely to succeed and that it can only be done by a group of women working together.

Margret

 

[Margret]

Well last night turned into a huge argument about dumb dryer. I ordered the parts I was told to order-and he had a fit. Said we could buy a new one for goodness sake. And I told him the drum has to come out. I can't reach the fuse with the front panel on. I got some of the computer clips apart but there's one I can't get apart. I also marked each connection with a special pattern so I know where things go together. I told him I will lift the drum. Just get the front panel off and I will deal with the damn drum.

So we didn't speak all night. I swear I don't understand his attitude. It's not like he's never fixed things before. He's always working on his heavy equipment and puttering..I figured he would enjoy something to do other than watch tv. I guess he doesn't like the fact my home is small and no room to put parts. I said just stick the drum in the kitchen. It's fine. I just frustrated. I figured he would like to save some CASH. I bought the parts not him!! WTH?!!

Sounds to me like he was just having a bad night.

I also am catching up on pacer dot gov documents concerning the bankruptcy of my employer-very interesting data has come out! Now we need the business plan to see if we are viable. Next court date is July 13 and 25. So the 25 I imagine will have that information or at least they have to present to the bankruptcy judge. I will be monitoring all electronic filed documents to see if I find any info to give us clues of how long we have a job for and when the hammer falls.

Good for you. Anything you can do to track what's happening will make things easier for all of you.

Came home to a surprise! He took the dryer all apart!! Said the heater element was toast. I said it's ok-I ordered a new one. So nice to have access to all those parts I ordered. He still insists on buying a new dryer. I said nope. Not until this one dies again-and put in a new vent pipe-I am going to see what I can find online-the drain pipe idea sounds good but still need a flexible one for when the dryer gets pulled out-you can't access the power cord without doing this.

Woke up with a splitting headache. took an aleve-takes a good hour for that to work...and upset stomach.

Doc appointment this morning for my foot but it's not hurting as bad since I started that NSAID they prescribed for me-hopefully I don't waste their time.

Yep, he was having a bad night.

It isn't wasting your doctor's time; it's taking care of yourself.

Margret

 

[tallyollyopia]

Checking work emails...

So the supervisor set up a team calendar and said that she will take care of adding entries to the main calendar and blah blah blah. Um, that's what I suggested to you last week and it wasn't really well received and the manager shot that suggestion down by saying we should just use the main calendar

And she went ahead to get a price quote for something I suggested. Which is ok, I guess, but I kind of feel that she should have given me the opportunity to do that. I come up with the suggestion and it gets ignored. Then someone takes the suggestion and follows through with it and gets all the credit

And the whole coverage thing for someone's vacation is a mess Supervisor come up with a tentative schedule but she doesn't have the right people on the right days. She's been told who works on what days and in which facility Manager still says lab should do the work as agreed upon and I was being too dramatic when I expressed concerns that the work would not be done by the lab and the supervisor needs to talk to the lab head about coverage.

From the number of pages I just read, and the number of messages I find myself quoting, I conclude that I've been too involved with other things for the last few days.



I tried Googling "keystone gardens" and discovered a firm by that name. A very expensive firm that does landscaping and gardening for people rich enough to afford them. Could it be that you meant a keyhole garden? Keyhole Gardening: Create Keyhole Garden Beds In Your Garden



Yes, it's fishy.



Gorgeous. With your permission I'm putting that one in my filk book.



I'm sorry, but if that were one of my relatives he would no longer be welcome in my home.

And the editor is now informing me that I've quoted so many messages I'll have to go to multiple postings.

Margret

Yes, sorry, I did mean keyhole. The two words are used interchangeably in my area, and I tend to forget they are different. (Don't move to the South.) And IB is no longer welcome in this house--AWM has made it a point to inform him that there are several reasonably priced hotels in the area.

I get that message a lot.

That's not sucking up. It's taking him at his word and giving him a chance to be a good leader. Too bad he failed the test.





Dysfunctional families frequently have one member who is the (unstated) designated scapegoat. This frequently happens in dysfunctional workplaces as well, and your workplace sounds exceptionally dysfunctional.

Additionally, you're getting all of the "good ole boy" techniques that are regularly used to put and keep women down. Appropriating the suggestions that a woman makes, so that she sounds like a whiner when she complains, forming cliques that women (or most women) aren't allowed to join and that are a prerequisite for getting ahead, etc.. One of the really frustrating things about it is that, for many men, these actions and attitudes are so deeply ingrained that they don't even realize they're doing it. However, there are ways to combat it when the women involved decide to work together. Check out the first few paragraphs of this story: White House women want to be in the room where it happens

I should mention that it appears to me that it would be a good idea for you to start job-hunting. You really are in a toxic work environment, and it's unlikely to change. If you can possibly get out you should, unless you think it's worth putting in the effort to try to change it, as a public service to other women. But if you decide to go that route you need to know up-front that you're unlikely to succeed and that it can only be done by a group of women working together.

Margret

 

[LTS3]

I haven't found a similar open position since last month I declined the interview for that because I found out that the salary was less than half of what I'm currently get paid. I'm still looking but there isn't anything out there other than very entry level positions or positions that want tons of advanced lab skills.

I don't care for cliques or drama or playing office politics games. I just want to do my work and be appreciated and listened to and be recognized when applicable. Is that too much to ask for? Everyone on the team is female so far. Our contract person doesn't start until August and it's a guy who I can't see getting involved in the clique-iness between the supervisor, her BFF, and my other co-worker. Our manager is only temporary until the new associate director gets settled into his role and then we report to hm.

We have a team meeting on Tuesday. The manager will not be there so it will just be me, the supervisor, my co-worker and possibly the new co-worker / supervisor's BFF. I have quite a few things to discuss but who knows if anyone will listen to them I have an update to something the manager wanted me to look into, a suggestion to put a rack shelf in one of the rooms to store supplies and either move or get rid of most of the empty buckets that are just piling up in that space currently, I have a new template for sign off sheets I want to run by everyone for their opinion, I reached out a company to see if they have replacement parts for an ancient piece of equipment we have (the ones we had likely got thrown out during a lab clean out) and need to know if we should go ahead and get the parts so we can use the equipment properly. I think there's a few more items.

 

[artiemom]

LTS3 The only thing I would add to this, would be to: Document everything in writing. Have a Journal. Write things down. Dates, who said what, etc.

I did that once for an evaluation. I always got bad evaluations, for one reason or another. One particular year, I was ready for it. I was tired of being the perennial "Scapegoat".

I had documented all the times I went above and beyond. All the times, my suggestions were rebuked.
I had a 2 page, very unemotional reply to the review,s eating facts and positive comments from others. It dragged on for weeks. My immediate supervisor was flabbergasted that I would have the gall to fight back. She showed her true colors at that point.

I won the small battle but lost the war.. but I felt so good about fighting back.
Unfortunately, the people who were alerted to this pettiness, ended up leaving and I was forced to work with the petty clique, who incorporated new members. Yes, it was a very dysfunctional, toxic work environment.

PS.. I think a lot of health care workers are exposed to dysfunctional, toxic environments.

 

[arouetta]

Ugh.....sick. My husband gave me his cold. I called out today. He's mad I did so since he's not calling out. Yeah, I lost 8 hours of income, but he has a car that gets him to work in five minutes. My car is broken, so I'd be walking to and from bus stops to get to work, total of 3/4 of a mile, standing in the heat for the bus, walking 3 miles home in the heat, and since tomorrow the bus doesn't run, I'll be walking both ways tomorrow. I think resting a day to prepare for tomorrow is a good idea.

Edit: I take that back. I'll be walking to work tomorrow, but I'll have to spring for Uber to get home since I'm closing. Still, that's a lot of walking when sick.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Margret please do. It was just...stream of consciousness stuff. That's how my mind works when not in "conversation" mode. Kinda like this:

Hot summer days
No joy out my front door
Only breathless, killing
Heat
So I,
Survival in mind,
Retreat to my office lair,
Cool and dim
Except the chair, and
My tail hurts.

 

[artiemom]

Mamanyt1953 You are a born Poet Laureate!!

 

[Willowy]

I sent a graduation present to a young friend. She wrote a very nice thank you note in which she assured me that she "defiantly" appreciated the gift. It was a handwritten note. . .I didn't even know that was an actual misspelling; I always thought it was from typing too fast, a typo of a different misspelling ("definately"). She was an Honor Student . I know the schools here aren't too great but yikes.

 

[arouetta]

I sent a graduation present to a young friend. She wrote a very nice thank you note in which she assured me that she "defiantly" appreciated the gift. It was a handwritten note. . .I didn't even know that was an actual misspelling; I always thought it was from typing too fast, a typo of a different misspelling ("definately"). She was an Honor Student . I know the schools here aren't too great but yikes.

Don't be too hard on her. #1, you got a thank you note. #2, it was hand-written, not a copy-paste of what she sent to everyone else. #3, there is a type of memory called word recall, it's the brain providing you the right word to use, and sometimes the brain glitches and provides a similarly sounding/looking word. If she didn't re-read the letter carefully, she wouldn't have caught it as word recall glitches are never caught by the person experiencing them at the time it happens (after all, your brain is saying you did use the right word).