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Very, very early this morning I was in the shower and I heard a slight bang, and then one of our inside dogs barked for a few seconds. I was still half asleep so I didn't think a lot of it.
When I came out of the bathroom, this dog was standing a few feet away. Usually this dog just lays around, but this morning he was standing on all fours, staring at me with his ears perked up and his tail, held low, was wagging furiously. His hackles were risen on his body from his neck to his shoulders, and he kept looking out into the hall and back at me.
My wife was already outside, and my first thought was something was very wrong, some intruder or something has happened to my wife, and I threw on my bathrobe ran into the hall.
It's still dark, so without flicking on a light I see a few sets of widened, spooked cat eyes staring back at me. I think someone has been here, someone has robbed us, get outside to your wife this instant and I run into the living room, flip on the light, and see an 8 foot tall artificial tree we have in our living room crashed onto it's side, with that little fake mulch stuff all over the place.
The cats have tails that look like they belong on raccoons and Baby Girl is cool as a cucumber, sitting near the tree and gazing up at me. "I killed this tree for you, Dad, I think it was after us".
And that's the story of how an artificial tree almost gave me a cardiac infarction at 5:30 in the morning
When I came out of the bathroom, this dog was standing a few feet away. Usually this dog just lays around, but this morning he was standing on all fours, staring at me with his ears perked up and his tail, held low, was wagging furiously. His hackles were risen on his body from his neck to his shoulders, and he kept looking out into the hall and back at me.
My wife was already outside, and my first thought was something was very wrong, some intruder or something has happened to my wife, and I threw on my bathrobe ran into the hall.
It's still dark, so without flicking on a light I see a few sets of widened, spooked cat eyes staring back at me. I think someone has been here, someone has robbed us, get outside to your wife this instant and I run into the living room, flip on the light, and see an 8 foot tall artificial tree we have in our living room crashed onto it's side, with that little fake mulch stuff all over the place.
The cats have tails that look like they belong on raccoons and Baby Girl is cool as a cucumber, sitting near the tree and gazing up at me. "I killed this tree for you, Dad, I think it was after us".
And that's the story of how an artificial tree almost gave me a cardiac infarction at 5:30 in the morning
Well, it's not that (we gave up on holiday type trees many years ago) but it's this big old palm looking thing that makes us feel less trapped and doomed when there's 15 feet of snow up against the windows 
