'The Rules'

[puddykat]

Now listen up - I know you humans are monitoring us cats in here so you better pay attention - it is like this we cats allow you to cuddle us, feed us, love us and what we do in retuen for you is unconditional love back to you but there are a few rules.

Rule #1 Cats are cats even when they are kittens
Rule #2 Cats always need food right NOW
Rule #3 Cats sleep where ever they want to NO EXCEPTIONS
Rule #4 Cats will bring humans rats, birds and anything else we want to, after all we are the ultimate hunters
Rule #5 Cats are always aware of where the human who has the food is at all times - even if they are sleeping we must wake them up to be fed
Rule #6 Cats do not own watches so we do not obey your curfew rules
Rule #7 Cats are always right

Rule #8 Cats are not children and we should be treated like what you humans call adults

Rule #9 Nine lives nine lives nine lives Nine lives nine lives nine lives Nine lives nine lives nine lives

 

[Deleted member 73596]

Now listen up - I know you humans are monitoring us cats in here so you better pay attention - it is like this we cats allow you to cuddle us, feed us, love us and what we do in retuen for you is unconditional love back to you but there are a few rules.
Rule #1 Cats are cats even when they are kittens

Rule #2 Cats always need food right NOW

Rule #3 Cats sleep where ever they want to NO EXCEPTIONS

Rule #4 Cats will bring humans rats, birds and anything else we want to, after all we are the ultimate hunters

Rule #5 Cats are always aware of where the human who has the food is at all times - even if they are sleeping we must wake them up to be fed

Rule #6 Cats do not own watches so we do not obey your curfew rules

Rule #7 Cats are always right
Rule #8 Cats are not children and we should be treated like what you humans call adults
Rule #9 Nine lives nine lives nine lives Nine lives nine lives nine lives Nine lives nine lives nine lives

L. O. L. :lol3:

 

[sivyaleah]

L. O. L.

Ditto!

 

[Deleted member 73596]

Just noticed you said nine lives nine times on rule number nine

 

[puddykat]

Humans - please respect us while we sleep on our thrones. You let your children sleep on your bed so we need our own bed too.

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• puddykat
• May 14, 2015

 

[Deleted member 73596]

Humans - please respect us while we sleep on our thrones. You let your children sleep on your bed so we need our own bed too.

Image0169.jpg

• puddykat
• May 14, 2015

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• Deleted member 73596
• May 15, 2015

And then there's this..

 

[Kat0121]

what a cutie!! 

 

[puddykat]

Listen closely humans - we were here before you arrived on this planet. This is not talked about in your history as it would upset your education system. We are not children, we are cats, you may talk to us as children but many humans do not now that cats are telepathic and we have observed you for thousands of years so we know your habits and we play along so we can survive here too. We used to be wild and you and some of our very advanced members helped you to down size us so to speak so we could live in your homes. We still have the big cat traits and yes we still like to hunt as that is our nature, we bring you gifts to show you that we can look after ourselves if you can not provide for us. You have too much garbage now and the rats and mice are full of toxins and this makes us sick if we eat too much of them, your vets think they know what we need, we do not need any drugs to help us heal, we can do that quite fine on our own. We often talk back to you but you are not paying attention ever since these little talking boxes you hold in your hand showed up. Enough ranting, time for some kibbles and sleep.

 

[mani]

You seem like a very wise puddykat @puddykat!

We look forward to hearing more of your wisdom...

 

[puddykat]

 
You seem like a very wise puddykat @puddykat!

We look forward to hearing more of your wisdom...

Of course I am wise I AM CAT.

So Mani - you are a moderator, pray tell us cats just what do you moderate? Words? How do you moderate words that come from cats, you know we have to send thoughts to the humans so they can type them, as you know or maybe you do not, cats can't type, humans can type with one finger but cats have no fingers, so how did you get this job? Did you cat put you up to it? Is your cat trying to work both sides of the fence? Get you to take his side of the story? You can tell us without worrying about cat tales being told how you go the job.

Is it because you secretly like to collect badges? Yes we have seen that hidden closet in your basement with all those badges you have collected over the years, why else do you think we go down there for? Not because the litter box is there, by the way the litter box should be upstairs, we have to run up and down those stairs and our legs get tired and we do not like sleeping on the floor in the basement, think it is about time you bought a nice soft couch for us to sleep on down there, that way we can guard your badges.

Why would you want a badge about a mod squad that showed people that always had a bad hair day? We see this thing called tv and believe me it is not entertainment - it is entertrainment to get you to buy things you do not need. Why watch a commercial about cat food and how good it is for your cat? If I don't eat it - I don't like it no matter what that guy says on tv about howe good it is. The cat rule is this: "If it smells good eat it - if it has a bad smell run - run away and scratch the owner in the leg or bit him or what ever it takes to get the food back to what we liked before you seen the commercial. we try to tell you many things but you just don't get it.

Listen to us we talk to you all the time and in many ways, we look at you, straight in the eye for a moment and you still don't get it, we are trying to tell you something, remember we can read your thoughts so be very carefull what you think when you are holding us. You do know that cats not only have nine lives but can remember every thing from those nine lives and what can you remember? You run around looking for your car keys and when you slow down you find them, look at us - do we get that excited all the time - no only when you bring fish into the house, we can smell it miles away, even in the can and you know as we get older we require fresh fish as it is easier for us to chew. The human's mind is wandering again so we must stop now until next time.

 

[mani]

Trust me, Puddykat, I would never, ever try to moderate a cat.

 

[puddykat]

Humans must remember that the one thing that cats are the best in the world at is 'watching', after all we will sit for a long time waiting for prey to come to us or if we see it we will hunt it. We also watch our human friends and use our mind powers to create what we want for Christmas for example.

Puddy Xmas Card.jpg

• puddykat
• Nov 12, 2015

 

[tychopete]

Rules for human behavior  Top Ten Reasons  our Maine Coons  (Morgan and Emily) are willing to tolerate us human beings:

• Humans will generally make sure we have plenty of the most expensive but good food to eat, even  if it is not always served when we want it served or in the flavors we want.
   
• Humans will generally make sure we have plenty of good clean water to drink, even  though sometimes the humans can be slow to change the water after I (Morgan – who seems to be teaching Emily this trick) dip my big fat hairy paws in to play in the water bowls.
   
• Humans will generally make sure we have nice clean litter boxes available at all times, even  though the human in charge of this activity sometimes forgets to notify me (Emily) when they clean the boxes so I can be first in line whether I need to go or not.
   
• Humans are usually tolerable when we choose  to show them our love and affection by head butting them at food time, rubbing against them any time we want or rolling around on the floor when they get home from wherever it is they go all day, even  though for some reason the humans seem to think they can just grab us any time they feel like it for hugs and kisses.
   
• Humans usually react with some sort of interesting activity like waving a feather in your face when they discover us following them everywhere or getting into their faces when they are sitting at a table or desk, even  though sometimes we have to be quite persistent in our efforts to get their attention.
   
• Humans are usually tolerant when we scramble up as high as we can get on any surface, stable or unstable, that happens to be in a room, even  though humans sometimes yell or seem to have misgivings about things called kitchen counters, pianos, and bookshelves full of books, we don’t know why.
   
• Humans are usually good to stretch out against or on top of for naps or at night, even  though humans complain on occasion that MC’s feel like large overstuffed hairy pillow cases full of blast-furnace heated bricks who takes up more than their fair share of the bed, but frankly we think it is the humans who take up too much space.
   
• Humans will sometimes take us for a fun-filled stroller ride outside around the block or two, even  though the humans do all the work of pushing us while we get to just sit and watch the scenery go by.
   
• Every 5 or 6 days humans will stay home all day just to play with us, give us treats and take naps with us, even  though humans often have to be reminded that we are the sole reason the humans are there.
   
• Lucky for us cats, humans can be taught tricks. For instance, humans have been taught to get up at 5AM every day or else there will be a very large cat tromping around the house yelling at them to do so, even  though the humans seem absolutely incapable of learning some tricks like opening the door to outside when we want. Of course no one ever said humans were smart, but they are what we have to work with and sometimes we have to admit humans are worth having around!!

-Tycho Pete

 

[puddykat]

purr fectly spoken cat speak 

 

[jlchriswi]

   

  too funny!

 

[puddykat]

cat holiday.jpg

• puddykat
• Nov 16, 2015

 

[laura h]

since my human is new to this all, please all of you be teaching her how to do these tricks. She's terrible at it! After all, even she admits I am ruler of the house. She just needs to learn that I rule all, not just the house.

Comet