The loss of my little Tiger ( my Little Man)

[Babypaws]

My poor little Tiger passed yesterday and my heart is broken, he was only 11 months old and didn’t have the change of a long happy life. He was born in our yard sometime in April of last year with two siblings to a feral cat. His siblings were all black and his mother is all gray. My little boy was a tiger marked kitten. I brought him inside when he was about 5-6 weeks old. He was a very lovable kitten from the start. I don’t want to bring religion into this post but I have to say this little guy, who I called “my little man” had a very, very special place in my heart. I lost my youngest son in 2019 and am still grieving for him which will never stop. Before he passed he had a tiger cat who he loved and after he passed his girlfriend had given Tiger away before I had a chance to take her. So when my Tiger was born I knew my son sent him to me. But now he’s gone and my grief for him begins. The doctors think his issues began because he was the runt in the litter, his siblings, who I also brought inside are much larger than him. up until 3 weeks ago he was so active, so loving, so happy and then it seemed so sudden he started losing his appetite and not being as active. Long story, I had taken him to the local vet, they thought his issues were bladder stones and a urinary infection...put him on antibiotic, gave fluids etc...he wasnt getting better. On Saturday I brought him to an ER vet, they kept him over night and told me he probably would have passed if I had taken him there. But the next day they called and said he needs more tests etc and said I need to bring him to a Critical Care hospital. We took him there and they wanted to keep him there for several days for tests etc. unfortunately I received a call from the critical care unit saying he started to have seizures and they had to sedate him to get them to stop. They told me because he was the runt of the litter he could have neurological issues with his brain not being fully developed and causing other issues in his body. They were able to do an ultrasound and saw he had a liver strunt, I’m not sure if I spelled that correctl. Even if they were able to operate it would be a difficult surgery and if he pulled through he could still get seizures. He was in a good condition to go under anesthesia . They told me I could go there and see him, my daughter went with me. I think they advised me to go there because his condition was severe. I had to decide to make the decision to have them put him to sleep or not. i could see how much he was suffering so he’s gone now.
My heart is broken....I don’t have to explain how I feel, those who have lost their beloved pets know the hurt. I keep remembering how active and loving he was....this is so hard to deal with, I can’t stop my crying....
May they all be at peace...

 

[Mrsty1203]

My heart breaks for you! Obviously you tried so hard to get him healthy. My sister-in-law in another state does cat rescue and she has had many kittens die in her arms trying to save them, but they just can’t all be saved. I lost 2 cats this past year and I was lucky enough to have spent full lives with both. Allow the tears to flow, it’s worse to hold them in. Please take comfort in knowing you did all you could.

 

[Mr. Meow]

My heart breaks with yours. Just know that in so many ways, both your son and Tiger we're given such a wonderful life because of you. You watched over them, day after day, protecting them, loving them, taking care of them. Now, they are watching over you. There is no doubt in my mind that they are protecting you.
We're here for you, always, through the good days, and especially the bad.

 

[Babypaws]

Thank you for your support...I just have to get thru this...it’s still fresh and I keep picturing him doing his little head butts to us. I was teaching him when he did it they were kisses. If he actually had development issues I’m so glad I had the chance to love and care for him in his short life. I miss him so much

 

[Mrsty1203]

Thank you for your support...I just have to get thru this...it’s still fresh and I keep picturing him doing his little head butts to us. I was teaching him when he did it they were kisses. If he actually had development issues I’m so glad I had the chance to love and care for him in his short life. I miss him so much

yes, the first few days getting used to them being gone is the worst....

 

[solomonar]

Every single heartbeat is a special gift.
Tiger had the chance to have You and You offered him so many heartbeats.
Love and Tears!

 

[Maria Bayote]

I am very sorry. There are no right words to alleviate your grief. I hope in time you can remember him more of happy tears.

Sending you my warmest hugs. Hang in there.

 

[di and bob]

You did all you could, and what you thought was best. The outcome was not what you imagined and though somehow you found the love in your heart to end his pain, it is when yours begins......
We must rely on the advice of those who have seen so much in times like this. Their hearts are not involved and they have seen so many endings they can be accurate in their predictions. Your sweet boy had lived as long as he had because of your taking him in and providing him with the care and love he received in those short 11 months, most likely much longer than he would have had if you had not intervened. all he ever wanted was a home and someone to love him and you more than gave him that. The bond of love between your hearts is spiritual, so eternal. You will always have a connection with him because a part of his tiny spirit is a part of your own. As you have found with your son, you NEVER get 'over' something like this, you learn a new life's order and learn to live with it. Time is the ONLY thing that helps to heal a broken heart. None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow, none of us know our life's future. We can only look onto the past for how we choose to live our futures and it is up to each and every one of us to choose between filling ourselves with happiness for sharing such love, or pain for our loss. The human soul cannot sustain such pain forever. It strives for happiness, for the beauty of this world, and the love that can bring sunshine and happiness to our world. There is no truer saying than the one that states, 'Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
There is ample room in the soul for many loves. Like a mother with many children, each and every one is as unique as a snowflake. Each has its own place and importance, all are welcomed. To heal a broken heart often involves allowing more love in. Do not be afraid to open your heart to another. I have found it can make you feel better about yourself to help others. By offering empathy to the grieving while you are grieving yourself, or to make a small donation of food, supplies, or money to your local shelter. Do it all in your beloved's name.
Your loved ones are at peace because they carry your love in their hearts. and they will keep sending their own for as long as you live. They want you to go into the future and find peace and more love because that is exactly what you would want for them if you were the first to go. That is love.......RIP sweet Tiger, You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you met again!

 

[Babypaws]

Di and Bob....thank you so much for your comforting words. It was the first thing I read this morning.... I’ve been trying to keep my mind busy but it keeps drifting back to my little man, Tiger. It seems like every little thing I do for my cats, whether it’s feeding them, cleaning the litter boxes or just watching them play makes me think of the one I lost. I know, at least I hope as the weeks go by it will get a little easier... It just seems like it happened so sudden. He was full of life a few weeks ago. He had his own personality, it’s hard to explain, he was different than my other cats and had and still has a special place in my heart. I hope he’s with my son now and are at peace.
thank you again...

 

[di and bob]

You will do this for a long time, grief will take hold of your life. There will be all those should haves, could haves, because that is what grief brings. Try not to feel alone because you are definitely not. We are all with you in spirit.

 

[les26]

First let me say that I am so sorry that you lost your son in 2019, that is so so sad....and then this loss on top of that, you have had MORE than your share of loss and grief to deal with, no wonder you are having such a tough time of it, I am so sorry!!! For some reasons these things just happen, we don't know why nor do we understand it, but sometimes we just have really tough times and heartache, be it the loss of a person or an animal, we just get hammered some times. I am so sorry that this has happened, and for the kitty to be so young hurts even more. But you will see them again someday and it will be wonderful, I know that isn't much comfort to you right now but it is true, one day it will be good again.

Please Google the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, it helps with shock and loss and grief.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am so sorry, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless you....

 

[Babypaws]

Thank you so much for your kind words. My life has changed since I lost my son and now my little Tiger.

 

[catsknowme]

Condolences on your sad losses - truly a tough time. My father's people believed that those who have died are returned to the Creator and those yet to be born. Your Tiger was on the Other Side with your son and they are together again, along with your future kitties.

 

[Babypaws]

First let me say that I am so sorry that you lost your son in 2019, that is so so sad....and then this loss on top of that, you have had MORE than your share of loss and grief to deal with, no wonder you are having such a tough time of it, I am so sorry!!! For some reasons these things just happen, we don't know why nor do we understand it, but sometimes we just have really tough times and heartache, be it the loss of a person or an animal, we just get hammered some times. I am so sorry that this has happened, and for the kitty to be so young hurts even more. But you will see them again someday and it will be wonderful, I know that isn't much comfort to you right now but it is true, one day it will be good again.

Please Google the homeopathic remedy Ignatia Amara, it helps with shock and loss and grief.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am so sorry, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless you....

Thank you for the Ignacio Amara suggestion, I’m going to look it up..I need something to calm down before I lose my mind.

 

[les26]

Thank you for the Ignacio Amara suggestion, I’m going to look it up..I need something to calm down before I lose my mind.

It helps with the stress and shock and grief. Another helpful natural item is Holy Basil, it helps you adapt to the stress. I used it after Sebastian died in my arms years ago, the girl at the health food store said it helps you adapt to the stress, you know it is still there but it isn't as hard to handle and she was right.

Try to hang in there, I know it is much easier said than done.....

 

[Babypaws]

Thank you...will look for it at health store near me tomorrow. For some reasons my loss always gets worse at night...thats when I start thinking about them. I try to keep my mind busy during the day.

 

[les26]

Thank you...will look for it at health store near me tomorrow. For some reasons my loss always gets worse at night...thats when I start thinking about them. I try to keep my mind busy during the day.

Things tend to close in on us at night. I remember after we had to put Simon down I couldn't stand to be in the dark...like a little kid, I couldn't stand to be in the dark OR in the shower, as soon as that shower door closed I felt like I was suffocating. It didn't last too long, and I know it was the grief and the stress playing mental and physical games with me as it will.

 

[catsknowme]

The nights are indeed difficult. After my nephew was murdered and my eldest brother killed on his way by a drunk driver,.I had trouble driving the 40 miles home after my night shift - I had to listen to loud music & try hard not to cry. When I thought long and hard about Night Sky Trail with all the souls crossing over, I began to find comfort in looking at the Milky Way and nighttimes became easier - not carefree easy but definitely more tolerable. Sometimes I bundle up and go outside to look up at the sky although I hate to wake up the ferals from their cosy shelters during freezing weather (for me, cats are not aloof at all).
If you try the Holy Basil, please let us know how it works for you. I like to use lemon balm but haven't tried Holy Basil yet.

 

[Babypaws]

I’m so sorry for the loss of your nephew and brother. Horrible tragedies...I try to tell myself when I’m feeling really low there are a lot of people who have lost loved ones who have suffered etc. My son wasn’t taking care of his health and passed away in his sleep.
How does the Lemon Balm work? I had intended going to the health store today but just have the gumption to go anywhere...guess I’m a homebody to begin with.
lol
In what form do you use the lemon balm? I certainly will let you know how the Holy Basil works. Someone told me there’s actually some type of spray mist that you can use and it calms you down, unfortunately I didn’t write the name down but I think you can get it at a health store.

 

[catsknowme]

I enjoy lemon balm as a tea but you can use capsules as well. It is similar to chamomile but lemony (hence the name). It can be a soothing wash for skin irritation, too. I have used it on cats as well, especially with other herbs for URI among my ferals (consult your own vet if you want to try it on cats).
I know it's hard to get out but the healthfood store often has a soothing, healing vibe - when you are there, stay alert for the different scents and try to recognize 5 - it will help keep you from crying, if that is a concern.