The holidays are tough

BluenIsaacBoys

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I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone has any advice on how to cope with the holidays after losing a kitty. After losing my beloved Blue this year, it is tough for me to hear holiday music, see Christmas trees, or deal with anything about the holidays in general. Seeing these things usually makes me happy, but not so much this year. Blue was always part of all of the holiday festivities, so he is sorely missed at this time of year. I still want to take part in the holidays for the sake of my human family and my other cats, especially since I adopted a new kitten, Nintu, and it will be his first Christmas :) But sometimes I hear certain songs or see certain things and my heart aches for Blue.

Just thought it was a good time to bring this up, with the holidays on the horizon. I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling this year. Has anyone dealt with this and found ways to remember your special friend at the holidays?
 

quill_luv

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I'm going through the exact same thing as you are - a new kitten, an ache in my heart for my dear Quill who I lost in the summer among other griefs and troubles that have happened this year. For Christmas, what I usually do is put a favourite toy up on the tree, one that was important for my past cats. Quill's kong is definitely going to be on the tree, along with my dog's milkbone decoration, and my other kittie's toys, photos in a few ball ornaments to hang in a place of honour. It's just a way to remind me that they are still a part of Christmas and the family, even though they are gone. With a new kitten I think it's important to start new traditions and new memories with them, but never forget the times you had with your past kitties.This year, it's the first time I have had a Christmas without Quill in fourteen years, but also the first time with Frankie.
 

Mamanyt1953

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I'm out of sage advice on this. You just...get through it. Allow yourself to withdraw for short periods when you need to do so. Allow yourself to say out loud, "I really miss Blue. He would have loved this." But not 15 times a day. And know, as I do, to the very depths of your being, that ONLY his physical presence is gone. His love for you remains with you, and there will be a furry little Christmas Angel around your tree.
 

di and bob

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I get the tree ornaments with their pictures in them. Somehow it seems that they are a part of the holiday then. I say a little prayer for them on Christmas Eve, and tell them how much I miss them, but I still can cry even 7 years later. You have to try to not let teh memories get you down for the sake of those still here, it would not be fair to them. Christmas, with it's magical, religous meanings, is meant to be a time of wonder, of birth. Concentrate on that and making the holiday one of family good feelings......
 

Tik cat's mum

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I lost my boy Tik in August so Christmas will be hard this year. He loved getting new toys he made everyone laugh. So this year I'm going all out for his brother patches Santa will spoil him rotten. I love the idea of pictures on tree ornaments think I'll do that thanks di and bob. But I won't get too upset because my funny guy wouldn't want that. Tears probably will be shed but not to many and away from the family don't want them upset.
 
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BluenIsaacBoys

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Thanks so much everyone. It sounds like a lot of us lost our special friends over the summer. So sorry to hear about your losses. I'm trying to think of as many ways possible to make Blue a part of the holidays. Will still hang up his stocking and am ordeing personalized memorial ornaments to hang on the tree with his name on them. I like the idea of putting his favorite toy on the tree, I already know which one it will be. I think the main thing that helps is knowing that Blue will ALWAYS be a part of my life, no matter what which means he will be part of every special holiday celebration too.
 

Leomc123

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For me its going to be hard, as i lost both cats this year and i dont have anymore pets :( So i dunno what i will do this Christmas or new years, its going to be depressing for me i guess. Just a reminder that they are completely gone or maybe i will pretend they are still around.
 

Tik cat's mum

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For me its going to be hard, as i lost both cats this year and i dont have anymore pets :( So i dunno what i will do this Christmas or new years, its going to be depressing for me i guess. Just a reminder that they are completely gone or maybe i will pretend they are still around.
It sounds like this will be our first Christmas without our friends for a lot of us. Maybe you could spend Christmas with family or friends to distract yourself hopefully. If not you could volunteer at a shelter or homeless charity to keep yourself busy. I'm sorry your feeling so down about Christmas please stay strong it won't always feel this painful.:alright:
 

Silver Crazy

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I just wanted to reach out and see if anyone has any advice on how to cope with the holidays after losing a kitty. After losing my beloved Blue this year, it is tough for me to hear holiday music, see Christmas trees, or deal with anything about the holidays in general. Seeing these things usually makes me happy, but not so much this year. Blue was always part of all of the holiday festivities, so he is sorely missed at this time of year. I still want to take part in the holidays for the sake of my human family and my other cats, especially since I adopted a new kitten, Nintu, and it will be his first Christmas :) But sometimes I hear certain songs or see certain things and my heart aches for Blue.

Just thought it was a good time to bring this up, with the holidays on the horizon. I'm sure I'm not the only one struggling this year. Has anyone dealt with this and found ways to remember your special friend at the holidays?
I have a picture from my last cat who was a very special cat and I was sure nothing could replace him.
The picture is simply his paw in my hand and it brings every memory of him back and can still feel the touch.
Find a pic of your Blue that means the most and frame it..blow it up to huge size..whatever and that will do you proud as a special memorial to a special cat.
My cats named Blue too..think they are special as well.:)
 

Silver Crazy

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For me its going to be hard, as i lost both cats this year and i dont have anymore pets :( So i dunno what i will do this Christmas or new years, its going to be depressing for me i guess. Just a reminder that they are completely gone or maybe i will pretend they are still around.
Go to a shelter..sit on the floor and let the cats/kittens climb all over you..overdose on catiness for a day..bet you come home with a smile on your face and looking forward to a future with a new cat or 3 or 4 .
 

di and bob

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My Christmas will be a special one this year, as I have one cat diagnosed with leukemia and most likely the other two too. This may be my last one with them, although I have hope it is not. I have pulled Yammy through two horrible sick episodes since July, but now I have hope he will be here for this Christmas. He is eating and much stronger, back to his old self. Sigh, I guess just love them all I can right now, and take one day at a time......
 

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I'm very sentimental and usually save a lot of cat toys that my rainbow kitties have loved over the years. At Christmas, I "let go" of one or some of those toys that have been tucked away for posterity, and hand them down to my current kitty as a Christmas present. I guess it brings my rainbow kitties back to life, in a way, to see my current cat Milly playing with the old, beloved toys.
 

rosegold

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I completely understand this feeling... I lost Chai last year on December 7th, just a few days after we’d put up all the Christmas decorations, so the impending holidays are really difficult for me. It would’ve been her first Christmas with me, but unfortunately we never got to celebrate it together. Last Christmas was mostly just spent crying, and I’m afraid that this Christmas will be sad too. I like some of the suggestions on this thread though.
 

solomonar

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Wonderful things have been said by forum mates, on the Love side. Head bow for your Cat and my respect for You and all people posting here!

+++

Allow me to turn to some (humble) practical ideas then:
a)Have a friend to drastically re-decorate the rooms (everything except painting and furniture)
b) Spend the spare time to invigorate and practice an old dear hobby (say collection of coins, crafts etc.)
c) Get out - Xmas in a Restaurants with relatives/friends/co-workers (as the case may be)
d) Turn back to old ways to celebrate Winter Hollydays (in some Nordic space, an old log is decorated and not a tree, there are seeds and dried fruits etc. - google to find more)- that includes a different set of songs

A set of softer ideas:
a) Xmas at a Cat shelter (if accepted in your area, of course)
b) Read a few pages of a book about spiritual realm (could be any type, any Faith- Love is the same anyway)
c) Pretend to be in another country (may I suggest one from Africa?): listen that country songs (YT), invite friends to these special days, hang images form that country on the walls

Turn sadness into a social strength
:
a) Help with an emergency animal service those days (Veterinary College may have some volunteering services)
b) Help some poor people/homeless (stay safe, however)
c) Visit an orphanage, not only offering gifts but stay there and tell them a story (either imaginary or from your life does not matter)
d) Write a book, shoot a clip for YT about something you know and may be useful for the others
e) Comfort the others in pain (either in person, in organisations or in forums)
f) Join an animal welfare civil independent movement (avoid extremism, though) and write petitions, help with fundraising , attend their meetings etc. They may also have Winter Seasons specific agendas.
 
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BluenIsaacBoys

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My cats named Blue too..think they are special as well.:)
Awww....those Blue cats sure are special. My new kitten, Nintu is a purebred Australian Mist cat, like Blue. "Nintu" was Blue's pedigree family name, and I made Nintu's middle name Blue. That way every time I say his name it's a reminder of good old Blue.

Thanks for all the support and ideas for coping with the holidays, everyone, and hang in there. I know how much we all miss them!
 
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