That Darn Post Adoption Anxiety

[misty8723]

Thanks Misty! Noodle has been getting better about us coming and going, maybe 1/5 times she escapes the room hahah thankfully she can't get far since the door to outside the actual building is always closed off. Not making a big deal about it has been helping.

Me and the fam have really thought about getting her a buddy (there was also a really cuddly white kitten at the adoption center) but our space is already super tiny having her included. I thought my place was p decently sized but I realize now it's not all that big with one cat's worth of stuff around unfortunately ^^""

Just a funny side note on how easy it is for cats to get out without being spotted. I was at the rescue where I volunteer yesterday. I was working in the back, but had to come up front to get some more bowls. The young girl cleaning one of the community rooms opened the door to come out and one of the cats raced out right next to her. I said, "one of the cats escaped." She said "It did??" I was able to scoop him with up with no problems, but there have been times when an escaped cat has been able to get up in the ceiling and that's definitely not fun. It always helps when they get out but can't really go anywhere.

I do agree, not making a big deal of something helps. I've noticed that when I try to stop my cat from doing something, that's the exact thing he wants to do.

 

[lilnoodle]

AGH this one is so tricky to handle, im still not sure how to go about it. I know we're supposed to ignore unwanted behavior bc that makes them stop. But I kind of have to move her or push her away when she does some specific stuff (like she's been biting my keyboard wire recently, and it's an expensive keyboard so ofc I need to take her away from it)- which obviously gets the bite and nip from her and she keeps trying- which I guess might be counterproductive to what im trying to do? but I can't really...just let her, if that makes sense haha"

I do agree, not making a big deal of something helps. I've noticed that when I try to stop my cat from doing something, that's the exact thing he wants to do.

 

[suzeanna]

AGH this one is so tricky to handle, im still not sure how to go about it. I know we're supposed to ignore unwanted behavior bc that makes them stop. But I kind of have to move her or push her away when she does some specific stuff (like she's been biting my keyboard wire recently, and it's an expensive keyboard so ofc I need to take her away from it)- which obviously gets the bite and nip from her and she keeps trying- which I guess might be counterproductive to what im trying to do? but I can't really...just let her, if that makes sense haha"

Maybe you could try a cord protector/cover if she's that insistent. There are also deterrents like bitter apple.

 

[misty8723]

AGH this one is so tricky to handle, im still not sure how to go about it. I know we're supposed to ignore unwanted behavior bc that makes them stop. But I kind of have to move her or push her away when she does some specific stuff (like she's been biting my keyboard wire recently, and it's an expensive keyboard so ofc I need to take her away from it)- which obviously gets the bite and nip from her and she keeps trying- which I guess might be counterproductive to what im trying to do? but I can't really...just let her, if that makes sense haha"

There are some things we can't just let them do it, like biting cables (Austin does that too on my computer cables). Austin also like to scratch the TV screen. Mostly if it isn't dangerous, I just let them do what they want. Cricket is a very well behaved girl...Austin, not so much.

 

[Lucy&Petra]

Anxiety is not rational, nor is it shameful. You are feeling worried about a new experience, and you did the right thing by asking your parents for help. I have extreme anxiety about my cats, so I totally understand. I have cameras and pet gates and everything you would need to help with anxiety ... but I still have anxiety. And that's okay. I'm just an anxious person and I want to do everything right for my cats. I forgive myself for my anxiety. You should too *hug*

 

[CaitlinH]

I've had my cat for about 5 months now, and I worried all the time if she is happy. I suppose that is life as a parent- even though its an animal-we worried about them! Keep trying different things and you know that you have already enriched this cat's life by giving them a home!

 

[lilnoodle]

Update! It has been a little over a month now- lil noodle is about 5 and 1/2 months now- she's so big now!
We actually had to leave her with a family friend for about a week bc we had to go out of state for personal reasons- of course i was worried but she was fine haha"

Things have been....better- kind of! I still get those anxious spurts and I can't quite place why the feeling hasn't left yet for me, but then again it hasn't been a 3 months! She's still as energetic as ever, which is suuuper cute, but definitely looking forward to the mellowing down when a year rolls around haha

We found out she loves hanging out in the bathtub and actually likes taking showers- she's still a bit jumpy but a very smart kitten; we're still teaching her to be ok with nail cutting and brushing- I think it makes me anxious when she swipes at my family and scratches them- i feel bad haha

Hopefully things get better! I'm sure they will. I will for sure keep with the updates when I can

 

[vince]

Maybe you could get her a ping pong ball for fun while she's in the (dry) bathtub. Cats like the noise it makes, and it comes back!

 

[lilnoodle]

Ahh she's hitting them teenager months now haha she's been more aggressive than usual- I guess the hormones are starting to kick in for her

It's hard not to feel anxious! she keeps swiping at me and my family, i feel awful whenever they get hurt because of her- we try and ignore her when she does but she keeps insisting, I'm guessing that's because of her age right now and we just gotta wait it out as she figures out the boundaries...?

 

[Sam1967]

Hi everyone! I'm new here. For context, I've always loved animals- cats and dogs especially. I have been wanting a cat for years now, since I was in high school (I've graduated college by now). I moved out semi-recently in the beginning of September Last year and I knew I wanted to have some company since I'd be by myself all day- I had thought about adopting a cat right after moving but I wanted to get used to living by myself for a little while (good choice on my part haha). Now the new year rolled by and I felt prepared to take on my first fur baby. I had never cared for a pet before, but I was well aware of the time commitment and responsibility to decide to take care of any animal.

However when that faithful adoption day came by- nothing had prepared me for that post adoption anxiety spike. This might sound like a broken record, as there were threads describing this before (and i've read a bunch of them), but like all of them, I'm starting to feel incredibly overwhelmed and anxious about everything. I know the "rule of 3s" (Today is day 5) and ironically the anxiety spike happened on day 3 like most people, but its hard to believe things will change when every atom in my body is telling me im doing terribly.

My lil noodle is a 4 month old domestic medium hair, she's very pretty and sweet. I work at home, so I play with her at least 2 times a day for at least 15 minutes- she's super smart, she already knew how to use the litterbox and scratch post I got her. Unfortunately bc of the money did getting all the supplies I don't have much for her other than a small cat tower and a few toys aside from necessities.

I'm so so afraid of being a terrible mom for her, and instilling bad behaviors completely unintentionally. Part of me knows that this is an adjustment period for the both of us (where most people start seeing a bit of change in both themselves and in the kitten at around 3 weeks) but another part of me knows it's better to teach her behavior things as soon as she's able (but maybe now isn't a good time and I should just wait? But I'm afraid if I condone her behavior for things I don't want her to do and then try and 'train' her after a few weeks she might be confused?). In the day she's often skittish and scared/jumpy, which is understandable, it's only barely been 5 days. At night she's super cuddly and kneads/purrs right next to me every night so far. She wakes up on occasion to walk around the bed and fall back asleep, no midnight zoomies. She eats all her meals. I'm just so afraid I'm treating her poorly that I've seriously considered bringing her back, which is breaking my heart. part of me thinks that it'd be better if I got a roommate to raise her with. I know getting a second kitten/bonded pair now is a better idea and the cost isnt much more than having just one (which, now in foresight i feel super irresponsible about now), but I just don't have the home space or mental strength to take a second one on (especially if only one right now is causing me this much emotional distress). I've barely been able to eat or work, and to my own surprise I ended up having a terrible anxiety attack that reduced me to tears yesterday.

So I guess what I'd like to ask here is- did anyone else have any recent similar experiences? What did you do? what did you do to cope and get through those first few weeks? What did you do to discourage bad behavior? (I would never physically hurt my kitten of course. when she bites and nips at my hand and arm I go limp and slowly pull away while saying "no, ouch..!" I am just unsure how to prevent things like going and climbing on unwanted things like my desk or keyboard, or digging through my plant pot. I tried doing the aluminum foil thing but she is surprisingly unaffected by it haha. So the only non-physical thing I could think of was startling her with shaking a bin of coins I have. Though, she has begun to be more aggressive/afraid because of it, so I know now to not do that and have stopped, and I feel terrible about attempting it. There's gotta be some way, I don't want my kitten to hate me but I don't want her to think going on these things is ok either.)

Of course, this has caused me to think of bringing her back, which i absolutely would hate to do and would break my heart. I know she's a very sweet good girl and I love her a lot. I'm terrified of trying to 'discipline' her. She isnt used to being handled yet, and likes to escape when I try to go out to take out the trash. I know I have to be patient but I just don't know what to do. I would be super grateful for some advice and reassurance. Thanks so much.

I have this happen to me too every time I adopt a new kitten. I always think did I make the right decision. It is now day 5 since I adopted my kitten and my anxiety is gone. You just need to have patience and everything will turn out just fine.

 

[noani]

Ahh she's hitting them teenager months now haha she's been more aggressive than usual- I guess the hormones are starting to kick in for her

It's hard not to feel anxious! she keeps swiping at me and my family, i feel awful whenever they get hurt because of her- we try and ignore her when she does but she keeps insisting, I'm guessing that's because of her age right now and we just gotta wait it out as she figures out the boundaries...?

Depends, what usually happens before she swipes?

Now bear in mind, when I got the first of my current two cats, he was a wee baby and he would scratch and bite quite a bit and had to learn not to slowly over time. I was regularly covered in scratches and bites (not deep). He grew out of it and also learned.
If it happens during play/out of boredom: just get up and leave. Literally leave and go do something and pay him no mind whatsoever. Another consideration with such a young kitten could be that maybe 15 minutes twice a day isn't enough play for him. When mine was a kitten he needed much more than that to be balanced and worn out.

Clicker training also worked really well as it's great mental stimulation and helps with the bonding.

For cables, you could wrap them in protectors. There's a spiral plastic cord wrapper designed to hold cables together which you can get at the hardware store. I used that with mine for a year or so until he grew out of it.

About wanting to be on your work station and not wanting to move him: I put a very comfy box next to my pc and work place when I was working from home when he was little (home office due to covid) so every time I moved him away from the laptop, I directed him there. He soon started to lie down there instead, right next to "the action" but in a comfy place where he wouldn't get moved anymore. It was also slightly higher so he could look down on me while I worked, and be able to properly supervise the human.

 

[lilnoodle]

Depends, what usually happens before she swipes?

Now bear in mind, when I got the first of my current two cats, he was a wee baby and he would scratch and bite quite a bit and had to learn not to slowly over time. I was regularly covered in scratches and bites (not deep). He grew out of it and also learned.
If it happens during play/out of boredom: just get up and leave. Literally leave and go do something and pay him no mind whatsoever. Another consideration with such a young kitten could be that maybe 15 minutes twice a day isn't enough play for him. When mine was a kitten he needed much more than that to be balanced and worn out.

Clicker training also worked really well as it's great mental stimulation and helps with the bonding.

For cables, you could wrap them in protectors. There's a spiral plastic cord wrapper designed to hold cables together which you can get at the hardware store. I used that with mine for a year or so until he grew out of it.

About wanting to be on your work station and not wanting to move him: I put a very comfy box next to my pc and work place when I was working from home when he was little (home office due to covid) so every time I moved him away from the laptop, I directed him there. He soon started to lie down there instead, right next to "the action" but in a comfy place where he wouldn't get moved anymore. It was also slightly higher so he could look down on me while I worked, and be able to properly supervise the human.

I wish I knew what my parents did to cause her to swipe, but it's usually things like dangling objects that happen to be in front of her (mom has a strap attached to her phone and when she folds clothes the fabric dangles haha) so she probably thinks they're toys. I've been constantly reminding them not to try and get her attention with their hands and fingers of course. When she bites at me it's usually just a small nip or pap with her paw and that tells me she doesn't want any touching so I just leave her be haha

She's been counter surfing now though! It makes it a biiiit hard to eat. Again, she isnt phased by aluminum foil- maybe about 50% of the time she just lays there while we eat and the other 50% she sniffs our food and gets too close (which would prompt us to have to gently push her away, caused some growls and hissing though so I dont know if that is the smartest thing to do). It didn't help that the family friend we let her stay with for a week let her eat her meals on their table so I'm imagining it's going to be a while to get that habit fixed

On the bright side though she's not nipping at the cables as much anymore, when she's sleepy or tired she lets us pet her (though my parents have a habit of trying to pet her lower half which I am trying to discourage). She has lil hyper hours especially after she poops but the regular play I do with her gets her winded after like 3 minutes haha (i.e. lots of panting during play, am unsure if that means she likes it and is into the hunt or maybe I should be a little more easier with the toys, though I let her 'kill' it a bunch). She's also been a bit better with being carried, but only for a very short amount of time. She also is ok with brushies now! She gets brushed every morning. No progress on nail cutting however haha, I've been also thinking of using nail caps but it's hard to get a gauge on anything cat related when the internet scrutinizes every little action (lots of self proclaimed vets out there) so I've been second guessing a lot.

I know she's nearing the 6th month mark so again, hitting them hormones (don't worry she's spayed!) so I'm expecting the heightened wildness to happen for a while. I guess I'm just mainly concerned with the scratching. I'm ok with a kitten that isnt fond of being touched or cuddled (to my dismay) but I can't have one that hurts other people. But she's still learning! So it's just a matter of time hopefully-

OH ALSO now that I've mentioned it, does anyone know how to combat like....treat aggression? She hisses and swipes and growls whenever we give her treats. I know this is probably because she hasn't made the connection that we're giving the food to her and not taking it away haha is there a good way to make that distinction? I've tried gently putting it on the ground or letting her eat it from my hand, as well as put it in a spoon but she still does all the aforementioned

Sorry for being so wordy!

 

[lilnoodle]

Update!!

It has officially been 3 months since I've gotten lil noodle (she's also 7 months now!) and we feel mostly adjusted to each other. She's so big now and is still a lil naughty from time to time but she's just a teen so it's fair haha. She hasn't been scratching any of us or the furniture which has been great, she does counter surf but doesnt try eating our food, just sniffs it. And recently now she lets me rub her belly when she's sleepy which is fun haha- if anything she just runs around a lot but goes to sleep before midnight.

I guess I just wanted to let yall knows things are ok, and I'm ok, and noodle is ok! Thanks for all the encouragement getting me through those first rough weeks. The 3 day, 3 week, 3 month rule really does ring true. It also super helped that I have family with me while doing all of this.

I'm hoping to get a tower for her soon! here's a photo for then vs now as thanks haha she's a lil stinker