Hello all, looking for some advice/thoughts on cat introductions. I've been reading threads on here (including working through Furmama22's thread which has a lot of helpful info in it) and have also been trying to follow Jackson Galaxy's introduction instructions by watching his videos and reading his book. With all the information I'm gleaning, I think I might be moving a bit too fast but would love to get some insight on the process as my new cat, Little Moo, seems to be more territorial than my resident cat, Max and we've had a few setbacks...
I adopted Little Moo on 4/25 from a friend who runs a local rescue. She is a 5-6 year old female who was pregnant (she was spayed after being rescued so lost the kittens) and abandoned at a completely trashed trailer with four other cats. It sounds like she was territorial to the other cats (completely understandable) around the food neighbors were leaving out when they realized the cats had been abandoned and before the rescuers came. In the week before I got her, she was living in a small room with the other cats she was rescued with, and while I saw some tension between them when I went to meet her (cats keeping their space, tail flicking, nervous glances at each other, etc.) I didn't see any blatant warning signs that she wouldn't get on with other cats. She is incredibly sweet and loveable with me, loves her pets and snuggles and is just a very people-oriented cat.
My resident cat, Max, is 15-16 and has always been a shy guy. I adopted him at 11, and he and my first cat Luna (who I lost to transitional cell carcinoma last December) tolerated one another just fine. They weren't cuddlers but were very good at time sharing and aside from the very occasional swat, got on well doing their own things. Max isn't a cuddler and is easily overstimulated with petting but I can tell the warning signs and don't force anything on him. He is more independent, but still likes spending time near me.
When I brought Little Moo in, I kept her in my bedroom with all her resources including a cat tree. Max was curious, and there was some limited visual access when I opened and closed the door. We did the feeding ritual on either side of a closed door then progressed to a pet gate with a towel over it that over time I lifted/"cracked" to let them see each other. Little Moo gained a lot of confidence on her side of the door with play and has progressed to a quite playful cat who no longer "caves" under the bed but hangs out on the bed or floor.
I live in a one bedroom apartment, and though Max never slept with me, he used to come into the bedroom for his nightly pets and then leave. I have set up a floor bed on a foam pad in my living room, and every other night sleep in the living room with him so he doesn't feel "shut out". Whichever cat I spend the night with, I try to spend some extra time in the evening with the other cat. Little Moo is good at playing; Max is a bit more low-key. He likes to sit on his cat tree and smell the outside air or go on the patio. He will play with smaller toys like the laser or a small mouse on a wand, but larger things like feathers intimidate him somewhat. He also does NOT like being picked up, so while I did some scent swapping via blankets, when I tried to site swap he was VERY unhappy about being put in the bedroom even if I was with him. We tried a couple times to site swap and it just seemed like it was more stressful for him than it was positive so I stopped. Eventually I let Moo into the living room to meet Max, trying to keep her distracted with treats and toys. She is very treat oriented, but less focused on toys than Max. We had some positive/okay interactions when they were face-to-face, like nose sniffing before Little Moo pulled back and hissed then walked away (which was fine), and Max had some tail-tip twitching. These were short, supervised visits, trying to keep things positive but occasionally Moo would fixate on Max and start stalking him, and not in a playful way. Usually I could redirect her with treats (not toys though) and if it seemed like things were going to get out of hand, I'd either pick her up or lead her back to the bedroom and call it a day.
We WERE at the point where I was feeding them both about 6 or so feet apart in the same room, and doing twice daily treat sessions that way too. As long as they were both occupied that way, they were okay, though Max has never been a big eater (eats his raw over an hour or more). Little Moo eats all her canned food in one sitting generally. I think all of this had happened within the space of a little over a month (so, kinda fast, I am realizing now.) There were a couple instances of Moo chasing Max, one when he got too close to her food dish even though it was finished, and once we had a swatting/hissing match when Max was sitting under his cat tree and Moo, after making a completely normal circuit by him without incident, suddenly came back and beelined for him and the dust-up started. I picked her up and put her in her bedroom, door shut to reduce stimulus, and she immediately went after a toy mouse, before running under the bed. In this instance, it SEEMED like she redirected her aggressive energy with Max to play? We had another chasing incident when Max got too close to Moo's mostly empty food dish and Moo suddenly came out from the bedroom where she'd been hanging and stared down Max. I had turned away to grab my coffee mug, then looked up and she was staring at him over the food dish. When he ran, she chased.
I felt I was damaging Max's confidence and their relationship by allowing them to interact this much, because it was getting hard to keep the experiences 100% positive, and Max started running away when I let Moo out of the bedroom for supervised visits and that was a huge red flag to me. I felt like I was failing them, and my stress was elevated, which I KNOW feeds into their stress too and is NOT helpful. This last week and a half, after talking with a cat-experienced friend, I walked things back. We are now back to being fed on either side of the pet gate with full visual access, though Max really prefers to be most of the room away from the gate and Moo. We've been doing twice daily treat sessions with the pet gate keeping Moo separate from me and Max, and those have been going well. No signs of aggression that I can see from either cat during these sessions, though Max is nervous and usually ends the session first. I am also giving Little Moo liquid Vetri-Science Composure in her food once a day (thiamine, L-theanine and colostrum calming supplement).
I have been occasionally letting Little Moo out in the evening, only after meals and play when energy is a bit reduced, and only when Max is already safely up on his cat tree, his chair, or the back of the couch. And this has been mostly fine, as far as I can tell. Moo will come sit on my lap on the couch and seems somewhat okay with Max anywhere from three feet (on the back of the couch) to 6+ feet away. She does do tail twitching and swishing and stares but by holding her and petting her head (full body pets induce more tail swishing) she eventually settles and they don't look at each other and fall asleep.
Like I said, I've felt a bit reassured reading others' experiences on here, but I'm unnerved by Little Moo's signs of aggression. The stalking, staring, and tail twitching/thrashing are all points of concern to me. Max is not a confident cat, and while I don't need them to be friends, I am hoping they can co-habitat without being separated. There have been some positive signs, like the same-room-sleeping-sessions, and on occasion, Moo has looked up at Max on his cat tree, chirped, then continued on her way without tail trashing or staring. They both rub their faces on a particular box corner at different times, mingling their scent. As I write this, Moo is on my lap in the living room, throat and belly exposed napping while Max has settled on a chair 5-6 feet away and is grooming/resting.
I guess after writing all this, I am wondering... am I still moving too quickly with letting them sit with me in the same room? Does Little Moo's territorial nature sound troubling or is this relatively normal and with continued positive exposure, it will be okay? I am hopeful we will get there but also afraid we won't. Trying to tell myself that it hasn't been that long (just reaching the two month mark since I brought her home) and we will get there. I guess I am looking for reassurance and guidance, if anyone has some. I will also continue to educate myself by reading other threads on here and trying to apply the advice I'm seeing there. Thanks to anyone who reads this, I feel better just reaching out and trying to organize my thoughts around these two kiddos.
Edit: Added photos. Little Moo is the black and white, Max is the polydactyl flame point.
I adopted Little Moo on 4/25 from a friend who runs a local rescue. She is a 5-6 year old female who was pregnant (she was spayed after being rescued so lost the kittens) and abandoned at a completely trashed trailer with four other cats. It sounds like she was territorial to the other cats (completely understandable) around the food neighbors were leaving out when they realized the cats had been abandoned and before the rescuers came. In the week before I got her, she was living in a small room with the other cats she was rescued with, and while I saw some tension between them when I went to meet her (cats keeping their space, tail flicking, nervous glances at each other, etc.) I didn't see any blatant warning signs that she wouldn't get on with other cats. She is incredibly sweet and loveable with me, loves her pets and snuggles and is just a very people-oriented cat.
My resident cat, Max, is 15-16 and has always been a shy guy. I adopted him at 11, and he and my first cat Luna (who I lost to transitional cell carcinoma last December) tolerated one another just fine. They weren't cuddlers but were very good at time sharing and aside from the very occasional swat, got on well doing their own things. Max isn't a cuddler and is easily overstimulated with petting but I can tell the warning signs and don't force anything on him. He is more independent, but still likes spending time near me.
When I brought Little Moo in, I kept her in my bedroom with all her resources including a cat tree. Max was curious, and there was some limited visual access when I opened and closed the door. We did the feeding ritual on either side of a closed door then progressed to a pet gate with a towel over it that over time I lifted/"cracked" to let them see each other. Little Moo gained a lot of confidence on her side of the door with play and has progressed to a quite playful cat who no longer "caves" under the bed but hangs out on the bed or floor.
I live in a one bedroom apartment, and though Max never slept with me, he used to come into the bedroom for his nightly pets and then leave. I have set up a floor bed on a foam pad in my living room, and every other night sleep in the living room with him so he doesn't feel "shut out". Whichever cat I spend the night with, I try to spend some extra time in the evening with the other cat. Little Moo is good at playing; Max is a bit more low-key. He likes to sit on his cat tree and smell the outside air or go on the patio. He will play with smaller toys like the laser or a small mouse on a wand, but larger things like feathers intimidate him somewhat. He also does NOT like being picked up, so while I did some scent swapping via blankets, when I tried to site swap he was VERY unhappy about being put in the bedroom even if I was with him. We tried a couple times to site swap and it just seemed like it was more stressful for him than it was positive so I stopped. Eventually I let Moo into the living room to meet Max, trying to keep her distracted with treats and toys. She is very treat oriented, but less focused on toys than Max. We had some positive/okay interactions when they were face-to-face, like nose sniffing before Little Moo pulled back and hissed then walked away (which was fine), and Max had some tail-tip twitching. These were short, supervised visits, trying to keep things positive but occasionally Moo would fixate on Max and start stalking him, and not in a playful way. Usually I could redirect her with treats (not toys though) and if it seemed like things were going to get out of hand, I'd either pick her up or lead her back to the bedroom and call it a day.
We WERE at the point where I was feeding them both about 6 or so feet apart in the same room, and doing twice daily treat sessions that way too. As long as they were both occupied that way, they were okay, though Max has never been a big eater (eats his raw over an hour or more). Little Moo eats all her canned food in one sitting generally. I think all of this had happened within the space of a little over a month (so, kinda fast, I am realizing now.) There were a couple instances of Moo chasing Max, one when he got too close to her food dish even though it was finished, and once we had a swatting/hissing match when Max was sitting under his cat tree and Moo, after making a completely normal circuit by him without incident, suddenly came back and beelined for him and the dust-up started. I picked her up and put her in her bedroom, door shut to reduce stimulus, and she immediately went after a toy mouse, before running under the bed. In this instance, it SEEMED like she redirected her aggressive energy with Max to play? We had another chasing incident when Max got too close to Moo's mostly empty food dish and Moo suddenly came out from the bedroom where she'd been hanging and stared down Max. I had turned away to grab my coffee mug, then looked up and she was staring at him over the food dish. When he ran, she chased.
I felt I was damaging Max's confidence and their relationship by allowing them to interact this much, because it was getting hard to keep the experiences 100% positive, and Max started running away when I let Moo out of the bedroom for supervised visits and that was a huge red flag to me. I felt like I was failing them, and my stress was elevated, which I KNOW feeds into their stress too and is NOT helpful. This last week and a half, after talking with a cat-experienced friend, I walked things back. We are now back to being fed on either side of the pet gate with full visual access, though Max really prefers to be most of the room away from the gate and Moo. We've been doing twice daily treat sessions with the pet gate keeping Moo separate from me and Max, and those have been going well. No signs of aggression that I can see from either cat during these sessions, though Max is nervous and usually ends the session first. I am also giving Little Moo liquid Vetri-Science Composure in her food once a day (thiamine, L-theanine and colostrum calming supplement).
I have been occasionally letting Little Moo out in the evening, only after meals and play when energy is a bit reduced, and only when Max is already safely up on his cat tree, his chair, or the back of the couch. And this has been mostly fine, as far as I can tell. Moo will come sit on my lap on the couch and seems somewhat okay with Max anywhere from three feet (on the back of the couch) to 6+ feet away. She does do tail twitching and swishing and stares but by holding her and petting her head (full body pets induce more tail swishing) she eventually settles and they don't look at each other and fall asleep.
Like I said, I've felt a bit reassured reading others' experiences on here, but I'm unnerved by Little Moo's signs of aggression. The stalking, staring, and tail twitching/thrashing are all points of concern to me. Max is not a confident cat, and while I don't need them to be friends, I am hoping they can co-habitat without being separated. There have been some positive signs, like the same-room-sleeping-sessions, and on occasion, Moo has looked up at Max on his cat tree, chirped, then continued on her way without tail trashing or staring. They both rub their faces on a particular box corner at different times, mingling their scent. As I write this, Moo is on my lap in the living room, throat and belly exposed napping while Max has settled on a chair 5-6 feet away and is grooming/resting.
I guess after writing all this, I am wondering... am I still moving too quickly with letting them sit with me in the same room? Does Little Moo's territorial nature sound troubling or is this relatively normal and with continued positive exposure, it will be okay? I am hopeful we will get there but also afraid we won't. Trying to tell myself that it hasn't been that long (just reaching the two month mark since I brought her home) and we will get there. I guess I am looking for reassurance and guidance, if anyone has some. I will also continue to educate myself by reading other threads on here and trying to apply the advice I'm seeing there. Thanks to anyone who reads this, I feel better just reaching out and trying to organize my thoughts around these two kiddos.
Edit: Added photos. Little Moo is the black and white, Max is the polydactyl flame point.
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