Teenagers Are Hard

[amysuen]

Our 18 yr old is super mad at us. He wanted to go to Six Flags Great America with a friend the day before he leaves for a 2 week trip to Germany. We said it wasn't a good idea that day but he could go another day. He claims there's no other day his friend and he can go.

Now he won't talk to me, or even look at me. I still think we made the right decision. This is a once-in-a-lifetime trip and we don't want something to happen to ruin it for him (not to mention it cost us $2000). But I hope he gets over his mad soon - we usually have a really good relationship so this is super hard.

 

[denice]

Yes teenagers are hard. He will get over it just give it time. Teenager's emotions seem to be on hyperdrive a lot of the time. They don't have the perspective that people should gain with time so to them everything is an end of the world catastrophe.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Yep. I didn't even like being one to be honest. My childhood best friends sister ran away briefly when she was about 14. Recently her own daughter did the same thing to her. Teenagers just don't have the perspective and stability of mind yet. They might be adult size, but not inside. In a few years it'll be much different.

 

[kashmir64]

Wow. I'm so sorry. My son turned 18 at the end of last year. Right now he's trying to decide whether he wants to go into computer programming or linguistics. He wants to be a translator for the U.N. (he already knows 4 languages). But for the moment, he helps cooks, clean, takes care of the animals and because I have a problem in my shoulder, he even covers me up at night since I can't move my arm. He's always been like this and I couldn't imagine it if he changed. I think it would kill me inside if he was mad at me.

 

[arouetta]

Kids suffer from an way over-inflated sense of wishful thinking and your son is probably looking at the timeline and seeing how it will work if things work at they should and not seeing that (I kid you not, this happened to me) a box could fall out of a FedEx truck and the police shut the road down for half the night due to the possibility it might be a terrorist bomb.

He'll get over it.......eventually. He'll come back from Germany super-excited, and in a few years when more than one road trip goes wrong he'll realize how smart it was to allow a time margin before such a trip.

 

[Winchester]

I get it and I understand. As for your son, he'll get over it. I'd just let him alone to stew for a while.

When our son was in college, he went to France for a week to play in a football game. While he was there, he was going to Germany for a couple days. Meanwhile, we decided that we wanted to go to Kennywood, an amusement park in West Mifflin, Pennsylvania. Well! The very idea that we would go to an amusement park without him! We were clearly the worse parents in the history of the world. This "brat" was going to France and Germany (paid for by his very selfish parents, BTW) and he had the unmitigated gall to be angry with us because we were going to an amusement park? Seriously?

Well, he spent a couple days sulking down at school and wouldn't talk to us. But evidently he realized that he was pretty much an idiot and he called me to apologize (either that or he realized that he needed a ride to the airport!). He calmed down. And to be honest, I think one of his frat brothers had a talk with him, too, from what he told me later. And slapped him up alongside his head and told him to stop being such an idiot.

And I'm sure your son come around, too. He needs to think it out; he should feel very fortunate to be able to take this trip to Germany. Six Flags will be around for other visits. It's hard to realize that when he's a kid though and everything needs to be done NOW. But.....Germany! Wow!

Hang in there. It's hard being a mom to a boy sometimes. (I understand it's even harder with a daughter, although I don't know that personally.)

 

[amysuen]

Thanks all! His friend's mom said they could go this Sunday, so all's right in his world again. He's our 4th so you'd think I'd be immune to teenage angst, but apparently not.

 

[denice]

I get it and I understand. As for your son, he'll get over it. I'd just let him alone to stew for a while.

When our son was in college, he went to France for a week to play in a football game. While he was there, he was going to Germany for a couple days. Meanwhile, we decided that we wanted to go to Kennywood, an amusement park in West Mifflin, Pennsylvania. Well! The very idea that we would go to an amusement park without him! We were clearly the worse parents in the history of the world. This "brat" was going to France and Germany (paid for by his very selfish parents, BTW) and he had the unmitigated gall to be angry with us because we were going to an amusement park? Seriously?

Well, he spent a couple days sulking down at school and wouldn't talk to us. But evidently he realized that he was pretty much an idiot and he called me to apologize (either that or he realized that he needed a ride to the airport!). He calmed down. And to be honest, I think one of his frat brothers had a talk with him, too, from what he told me later. And slapped him up alongside his head and told him to stop being such an idiot.

And I'm sure your son come around, too. He needs to think it out; he should feel very fortunate to be able to take this trip to Germany. Six Flags will be around for other visits. It's hard to realize that when he's a kid though and everything needs to be done NOW. But.....Germany! Wow!

Hang in there. It's hard being a mom to a boy sometimes. (I understand it's even harder with a daughter, although I don't know that personally.)

I don't know if daughters are harder or the stakes are higher. I think daughters tend to be more manipulative and are less open with their anger than boys. My biggest fear was having to start over again with another baby. I love my kids and loved raising them but I didn't want to start over again with a baby. I wouldn't want one of my daughters being relegated to a life on assistance and low paying jobs either so I would've done it. Luckily they waited until they were established before they started having kids so I get to do just the fun part, the spoiling with the grandkids.

 

[betsygee]

But evidently he realized that he was pretty much an idiot and he called me to apologize (either that or he realized that he needed a ride to the airport!).