Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

Great!!! That hopefully helps.

I think he will. No reason to suspect he will not. Some breeds and some individual dogs. :/ Yes, hopefully it is not too expensive. He is GS. I have no doubt.

Interesting. Wow, so cool, another black GS. Interesting. But he does sound well behaved.

But you are aware you want to fix them so you are progressing forward. MOST people do not even recognize an issue let alone want to improve it. But you do which is great. It is fine if you don't want to be as social. What makes you happy is best. But I think you can overcome the anxiety in "pretty much any social experience". I think it takes some mental preparation and conditioning and then some practice. But EVERYONE has some level of anxiety in many social experiences. So what you feel is not really different than others. So understanding that it is normal to feel that way and just maybe the other person is feeling the same could help you handle it better over time. I know you can. Well, it depends on why you don't want to speak to them. If you don't want to talk to them because they are fools then you shouldn't feel like you have to talk to them. But if you fear talking to them then it is something that you should continue trying to improve. It sounds like you can talk to your boss. So you can do it. And really, you talk to me (I know not facet to face) but you still do. So you can do it. And don't fear what they think of what you say or how you say it. If they have a problem with that THEY have the problem. I think you should understand your feelings are common in all of us. Some of us get over them more easily. But it still can be difficult, awkward, etc at times for everyone. As I mentioned, it is hard to find "true" friends. I think it is actually very rare for everyone. BUT they do exist. Sometimes you just have to weed through many to find that one. :/ And some people are never lucky enough to find one. Sure, there are friends but finding a "true" friend is rare. :/ Oh, my, I think we all have thought we have found true friends and found it wasn't. But never give up looking because finding one is rewarding for both people. I also think it is MUCH more difficult for females vs males for a lot of reasons. I can't tell you how many people I know that feel that way and it is societal on how we treat each other and how society treats females. When you say "holding back" you have trouble with what exactly do you mean? Do you feel like you hold back what you want to say to someone? I know you can do it if you want. I think you are a wonderful person and have so much to offer as a true friend to someone. And I hope someone is worthy of that friendship. Just be yourself like you are with me and I think people will find you as wonderful as I think you are. Just realize there are a lot of phonies out there and superficial "friends" but don't let that hold you back. I cherish our friendship!! You are very special.

Hahaha, no, I wish I had better play advice. I think you must be doing well with the cats. You had a great dog/cat intro so you are doing things right!!

Yes I think I understand. I think that is good. Learning those technical things while still trusting your instincts and letting those instincts take you as far in photography as they can and not letting others impede them. When I see your pics you have a talent of capturing "character" which seems pretty special.

 

[Animal Freak]

He does have so many good traits. If he's not excited and bitey, he's quite tolerant and is fine with hugs which even Stella does not tolerate. Really very sweet when in the right mood. Settles well.

Well, he's definitely GSD and probably at least mostly GSD, but it would be interesting to see what else could be in there. Definitely nothing obvious. But the health test would be interesting to see too. I wouldn't spend the money for just the breed test. Unfortunately, it's out of my price range at the moment even while it was on sale. But maybe for next Christmas.

He was well behaved, but the way he moves is just odd. Seeing him walk, it's like a black coyote. I would be nervous if I came across that dog on his own. I was a little nervous as it was.

Once I get talking I'm usually okay, but I struggle with starting and ending conversations. It's a matter of both not wanting to and being afraid to. I am not an overly social person and don't care to be. But you can't get through life without talking to some people and sometimes it's nice to talk to a likeminded person. I've only talked to my boss a few times and I've been working there for over a year. And almost always when I could catch her on her own. I do better when it's one-on-one. Even one other person makes it exponentially more difficult for me. I definitely hold back in what I say and what I do. I don't say what I want to out of fear of causing an argument or offending someone or being judged.

Ah, well, cats are difficult. They've been playing more with the new toy, but it's only a matter of time before they get bored with it. The boys are pretty much okay with their weight, so I'm not too worried about them. Ember definitely needs to lose weight and she does play.

Yes. I don't necessarily need to use someone else's "style" (though that can be a good way to learn as long as you don't get stuck in it), but seeing how people set things up and work with the animals would be helpful.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Ahhhhhhhhhh. Yes, he has that puppy still in him.

Yes, the health would be interesting. I have never done that as I am not sure what really could be done anyway. :/ But maybe I should? I love him.

Interesting. Yes, they can be intimidating. It is good he was well behaved.

Yes, I can see where you are very good once a conversation is started. Starting can be very hard and ending since you don't want to hut anyone's feelings. But try to start finding something in common and then going from there. I am pretty good at starting conversation but I too have issues ending (as do many people). I don't want you to be afraid to so hopefully we can get you over that. Not wanting to is totally fine. But if you want to and don't then it would be disappointing BUT I KNOW you will be able to in time. Yes, it is good to talk to people and even people that don't think the same (as a person can learn that way). And listening is as important or maybe even more so than talking. Well, talking to your boss can be challenging because they can be busy, etc. SO finding a time to talk. BUT you could say to her "maybe some time when you have time we can talk about............". And that is a good way to maybe get some practice (and learn). At work is hard because it is a place to work rather than socialize. BUT maybe she could find some time. But if she can't that is understandable. Oh, I do so much better one on one as well as I think most people. That is common. Yes, one more person can be more difficult but as you do it more you will learn how to do it better. It takes some practice like everything. And if you are like you are with me you will do fine. AND if someone has an issue with what you say then maybe it is their issue. I think I know you pretty well and there is no way you would be unreasonable or unfriendly or embarrass yourself. Just be yourself and try to stay humble but share what you know and appropriately feel.

"I definitely hold back in what I say and what I do. I don't say what I want to out of fear of causing an argument or offending someone or being judged." - Ok, I understand. Well, that isn't that bad. It is good to not start arguments or offend someone. BUT if they are really wrong trying to help them understand the right way in a diplomatic way is good to them. But it is an art. Now, for fear of being judged is a little disappointing (but understandable). Because who are they to judge you? If you are wrong then you could learn why. And if they judge incorrectly then it is their problem not yours. Can I ask, do you ever hold back with me? I hope not.

Yes. And yes, cats do get bored with toys. But I do believe it is about how a toy moves more than the actual toy. But it is good and thank goodness the boys weights are good and Ember likes to play. Sounds pretty good to me.

Exactly. You are smart, you are aware so that helps a lot. I think you will be fine.

 

[Animal Freak]

He might grow into a good emotional support dog though. He needs some work. Lol. But there aren't many dogs that are so naturally tolerant of getting hugs and being squeezed. He decided he wanted to snuggle today. That was weird. Just came over, walked on top of me, and flopped down. He's very heavy. Sort of hard to breath with him laying on you.

Well, it would be more a head's up. It wouldn't be so surprising if something came up later on. I wouldn't spend the money on it for Stella (unless I was rich and had money to spare) because she's already 6 years or so old and I don't need a test to tell me she has luxating patella. But if it's accurate then it could be worth it for young rescue dogs.

I'm not one to be intimidated by a dog without a good reason though! I don't have a problem just because he's a black GSD. But that body language... Totally different movements than Osiris who sort of reminds me of a horse when walking.

I guess I should say I'm okay once started in certain situations. It depends on the conversation. I think some people give up on talking to me because they ask about where I go to school or whatever and I tend to give short answers. I'm not great at making small talk just for the sake of it. I'll talk about animals all day, any day, but I'm not someone who talks about the weather just to talk. Bringing myself to start a conversation is hard. Heck, even with people I know and am comfortable with, I'll plan what I'm going to say for 5-10 minutes before ever saying anything. I think the two biggest problems I have with talking to my coworkers at this point is that it's hard to catch just one person (and someone else could show up at any point) and I worry about them being busy. I don't even know what my boss does. She's relatively hands-off when she's there unless we need someone to work as the tech. But she sits at a computer in the office and I'm not sure what she's doing. Same with the vet. I like being able to ask him questions if I have a concern, but I don't want to interrupt him when he's on the computer or looking at a slide even though no one else has a problem with it. I don't know why I have such an issue with there being multiple people. It's ridiculously difficult for me. In fact, I usually end up caving and not saying anything. It's pretty rare I get myself to say anything when more than one person even if they're people I know.

I hate being afraid of judgement because I truly don't believe there's any reason for it and people shouldn't be afraid to speak because of that. People shouldn't be so quick to judge. But the fear is still there. At least sometimes. It's sort of a weird, fickle thing. I'm not always afraid of being judged. No, I wouldn't say I really hold back with you anymore. I still don't want to say anything that could start an argument, but I feel pretty safe that we're unlikely to really argue and, even if we did, we could come to an understanding. If I leave anything out, it's more likely because it seems unnecessary and I feel my post is long enough.

They seem to get bored with movements too, unfortunately. I probably waste at least five minutes trying to figure out what they're into that day. And of course they tend to like different things. Frost is weird. He tends to like fast, rapid movements that make no sense.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Awwwwwwww, THAT is AMAZING!!! GSs are like that more than people think. They are amazingly connected with the parent. Yes, they are heavy!!! That is SO SWEET!!

Interesting. That makes sense.

Yes, that is what is interesting. You are like me, pretty good read on other animals. He must have walked in a way. The instinct kicks in that something isn't right. BUT he was good. I wish I could have seen him. Hahahaha, Osiris, a horse???? I think I know what you mean. That is cute.

Well that is good!!! So you can do it. And if you can at times then you can all the time you want to. Ahhhhhh, yes, well maybe you want to protect your privacy (which I think is good - I am the same way). And small talk, again, if you want to and can't that is different than not wanting to (which again I know the feeling well). Hehehehe, yes, talking about animals all day!!! And yes, the weather, nope. You sound so much like me. Now starting a conversation. Again, if you want to and can't then it is something to improve on. But if you don't want to then it isn't that big a deal. When you plan for 5-10 minutes before is it because you don't want to "look silly" or "foolish"? Or is it that you aren't sure exactly what to say? You are obviously VERY intelligent and you are very thoughtful, and respectful so you shouldn't worry. And maybe you don't think as fast on your feet as some but I know you can. If you can talk about animals (which I know you can you can talk about anything you know (which I know is a lot). And don't be afraid to pause, or listen to get time to respond. Yes, on co-workers. The busy worry is a very good and reasonable worry. But don't worry about someone else showing up. If they do I know you can handle it and if not that time then in the future. And again, you can listen and just give some comments interspersed. I know you can do it and with practice you will get better and better. Yes, they could be doing animal stuff or business stuff. It is hard to know. But you can always just pop in and say "I have a question when you have some time" and I am guessing most of the time they would right then. But you respect there time which is GREAT. Oh, I think having issue with multiple people is normal and common. I have the same issue. I think it is just more complex. Having to not ignore one of the people, having to respond to multiple comments, etc. I think it is normal to find it hard but with practice I know you can handle it. If you want to (which I hope you do). Why do you think you "cave" and not say anything? I pretty much can guarantee you would do fine. I am sure you wouldn't insult the other people, etc. And if they have an issue with what you say I would guess it would be their issue not yours. Look at how much we "talk" and you never say anything that seems offensive, or silly, etc. If you can do it with me I know you can do it with anyone.

This is what I mean, you are so wise. You are so right. You don't like being afraid of being judged (we all are like that) BUT we do fear of being judged even though it isn't right to judge. "I truly don't believe there's any reason for it and people shouldn't be afraid to speak because of that. People shouldn't be so quick to judge." - You are EXACTLY right. But isn't it their issue and not yours? I mean if someone is an axe murderer then thinking that isn't good is fine. But judging someone for something silly is their problem. But yes, the fear is there especially with someone a person doesn't know or even knows and respects. But most people are better than judging people for stupid things. But there are some bad ones and those have their own issues and are not your issues. "At least sometimes. It's sort of a weird, fickle thing. I'm not always afraid of being judged." - THAT is REALLY GREAT!!! I am so glad you don't hold back with me, I didn't think so but I am happy to know you don't. "I still don't want to say anything that could start an argument" - :/ Oh my, I know you would never want to but you should say what you feel. And I respect you so I can't believe we couldn't have an argument and agree to disagree but still like and respect each other. Maybe I am not thinking of something right or I am wrong about something? How can I improve myself without being challenged? Ahhhhhhhh, yes. " but I feel pretty safe that we're unlikely to really argue and, even if we did, we could come to an understanding." - EXACTLY!!! And that is the trust and respect we have to understand that. "If I leave anything out, it's more likely because it seems unnecessary and I feel my post is long enough." - That is great!!

"They seem to get bored with movements too, unfortunately. I probably waste at least five minutes trying to figure out what they're into that day." - Yes, that does happen. :/

" And of course they tend to like different things. Frost is weird. He tends to like fast, rapid movements that make no sense." - I know, some like fast, some like halting. Knowing what each prefers helps a lot!!!