Struggling With Play Time

[couchkitty]

Hello there,

I've found that changing up the variety of toys helps immensly. The best way to get a cat to play, is to engage their hunting interests. I would start off by buying a laser pointer. They can be had from $5-15 depending on your location and what's in stock at your local pet stores. Now, there so guaranteed way to tell if your cat will go after it, but many do. Another cheap and easy toy is a catnip stuffed toy. When introducing it, lightly rub the toy against the cats' cheek/whiskers mimicking a head bunt. If they like it you'll know. If you're short on cash and supplies, roll up some aluminum foil into a ball and roll it on the ground, when I was tight on cash I did this and it worked surprisingly. I would discourage dangling ropes, strings, etc, because this could make an outdoor/ex-feral cat prone to chewing electronic cords! Best of luck!

 

[couchkitty]

I have bought many toys from Lazer lights, dancing doll, feathers and everything I can think of. Balls, paper bags, play mice ,yarn, tissue paper etc. I have had her for six months now and after vitits to the vet we are thinking that after being sheltered three times and two homes she has been traumatized and it wilt take time. She came to me with s broken tail and other injuries. She is adapting nicely with me, sits in my lap, let's me pet her and sleeps with me. A real sweet kitty and I don't understand how anyone could treat her so cruelly. She was removed from her last home for that reason. Anyway, back to playing. I now am thinking that she was never really socialized and had no play time. I see a little bitty change come out, a paw will bat a toy if only once so I just let her go at her own pace and try every day. I am beginning to see some improvement. I love this sweet kitty and am so happy that I rescued her. I live by myself and am at home everyday and have no other animals. So with love and care I hope that she will come around and be the happy cat that she deserves to be

 

[calicosrspecial]

I am glad to hear Ash is more interested in the toy in there. At least he chased a couple of times.

That sounds great that she was back in there and there were no incidents. It is interesting she is anxious. I didn't expect that. The more they are together without an incident it is a positive. I am not worried about the hiss, that is just communication and it sounds like it was understood. Nothing more than the hiss. Just take it slow and make it as positive as possible.

That is great with the dog.

Yeah, brushing can be a challenge sadly. All you can do is your best. You may want to start a topic about brushing etc. I am not an expert on that but I am sure others have a lot of experience with that.

Keep up the great work. It sounds like you are doing well with them!!

 

[Animal Freak]

Yes, they seem to be adjusting to the play in the kitchen though I bring them back into the living for half of it so Ember can do her back flips and whatnot.

I moved Ember just outside the kitchen in the dining room which isn't much of a difference distance wise (maybe half a foot), but she seems a bit calmer there. Maybe she felt a bit trapped where I had her since she was in a bit of a corner. Or because she was forced to have her back to them though she doesn't seem to feel the need to face him now that she's outside the kitchen.

I'm brushing them tonight and I'll see how he acts since I haven't forgotten his medication. He used to be great about brushing. He didn't like me brushing under his legs, but he learned to get through it and it would be quick. I hate doing anything that hurts him, but I don't want him to get a knot either and, honestly, I'm not sure if it still hurts or if he's just found out that he can get out of the brushing. With how he was acting about his tail, I'm leaning towards the former, but I don't know.

Also, I forgot to mention I've been putting a couple of drops of Rescue Remedy in Ember's food. I don't intend on keeping it up for long, but I was hoping it would calm her and she'd realize she doesn't have to attack. We haven't had any real attacks though we've had moments got kind of close.

 

[calicosrspecial]

That is great on how you are doing play.

Great that Ember is calmer while eating yet still close. Any time they can be close and feel secure and do something they enjoy (eat) it is a big help. Keep it like this for a while then try to see if you can slowly (inches) move them closer. It could have been a corner that caused her to be on edge a little. It can be small things like that. But the more they are together without incident the more trusting they will be.

It is a tough call but I am guessing it probably does hurt. Poor guy. Mats and knots aren't good either. It sounds tough. At least you know how to do it the best possible way.

I actually don't have any experience with "Rescue Remedy" sadly.

I am so glad you haven't had real attacks. Close calls are ok because that tells me that they are working things out. And choose not to attack (for whatever reason). YOu are doing a great job with them to get them to that point. Progress.

 

[Animal Freak]

Yeah, they've all been doing fine. Ember might have slapped Ash last night while I was making their dinner, but I'm not sure. I haven't seen any signs of her doing it for a couple of days. Last night I caught Ash shaking his head which he typically does after being slapped and she did seem a little agitated, but at least it's becoming more infrequent.

I guess we're going to have to try to cut the knot off of Ash and just try to make it fast. I'd rather attempt to brush it out first, but it takes too long. We can at least try to be quick if we just cut it out and then I'll have to keep up on short brushings back there to keep it from happening again.

I'm also doing a training session every day with all four of them, including the dog. I've been wanting to increase training with Stella (the dog), but of course Frost and Ember come over wanting treats and now even Ash is interested. I felt bad feeding Stella in front of them, but I wasn't going to give them treats for doing nothing so I've started teaching them too. If they learn something then that'll be great, but it seemed like a good opportunity to get them all in one place. They do sit rather close together too. Frost is the only one who will sit by Stella and Ember hissed at her today because they were next to each other when Stella started moving around, but they're all still very close together with no issues so I'm quite happy with the situation.

 

[calicosrspecial]

A slap here and there isn't too bad. As long as it stops at that. They then learn what not to do and they should stop doing that. So, it is not too bad. I am glad it is becoming less frequent.

Yeah, just be careful on cutting the knot out. But it sounds like that is probably the best thing to resolve the situation.

That is great. Being together is "doing something" so as long as they are together and getting along I think it is a big positive. Some cats do hiss but again as long as it ends there the message got through and the result was achieved. Getting along is a positive even with only a hiss.

Keep up the great work. Sounds like you are doing a great job!!

 

[Animal Freak]

We'll definitely be careful. I don't think it's close to the skin yet so it should be pretty easy once it's locate and separated from the rest of his fur.

They've all done great with the training. Ember's hiss was the first (and so far the last) incident we've had. However, I'm out of Temptation treats. I'm really quite happy that we've had so few issues and those that we have had have been very minor. I've noticed a couple of things though. The first being Ash has been spending a lot of time in the bathroom. One day he spent probably over half the day in a small carrier and then spent the rest of it in the bathroom. Now he's in the bathroom most of the day and doesn't leave much.

The second thing I've noticed is that he hasn't been in my room much lately. It's never been his favorite room, but he would go in there and lay on my bed during the day when he couldn't get to my mom's or lay on the cat stand in there. Today was the first day he's been in there in a while and that was mostly because I was in the way when he went running to the bathroom. I encouraged him to go in there and he didn't seem to know what to do with himself. Then Ember came in and she didn't seem to like him being in there, but didn't fight it and got over it rather quickly. After that he actually lingered and came back later on to lay on the cat stand. I'm guessing he just lost confidence after being attacked repeatedly (even if it wasn't in that room) and my room has always been Ember's territory more than the boys'. She doesn't have a problem with sharing it, but I'm sure her scent is quite overwhelming in there.

However, I'm also happy to say Ash seems to be in a better mood. He's been more playful and has been chasing the toy a bit more than usual. The difference isn't outstanding, but it's definitely there. Even when he isn't playing, you can tell he wants to.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So glad training is going well. You must be doing a great job!!

I am so glad to hear Ash is in a better mood and is playing more! That is terrific!! That will help a lot I believe.

Do you think he is going in the bathroom to be cooler? If he starts acting differently (avoiding areas he liked before, walking low, etc) then I would be a little worried. Let's watch him.

I am not too worried about the bedroom either because it wasn't his favorite room in the first place, they didn't fight, and he did come back and went on the cat tree. So it sounds like it was ok. And being in there with her scent (and her being there) and not being attacked is very good and helps him build trust and confidence.

Keep up the great job!!

 

[Animal Freak]

No, the bathroom is the stuffiest room. There's no vent or window in there to let any air in. He likes to lay on the towels. Him and Frost have liked being in there since we moved though it's been a bit excessive for Ash lately.

We ordered a third cat stand which just came in today. I found Ember and Frost on it, but Ash was no where to be seen. I went throughout the house looking for him. Found him in the bathtub. He liked the cat stand better before it was finished apparently. I do have to admit I got it more for me. I figured they wouldn't be opposed to another one. We moved their cat stand and I wanted one back where it was for my photography since that was where I got my best photos of them.

He's been in my room more since I got him in there yesterday. It's like I broke some invisible barrier. He decided he was going to come in this morning and meow and got in the window, opening the curtains.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hmmmmm, well if they liked it in the bathroom before............... As long as he acts normal then I wouldn't worry.

Yeah, cat stands hold their scent and cats do not like change so not surprising he didn't use it.

So glad he is back in your room. Cats build confidence by having positive experiences. You helped him trust more in your room. GREAT!!

 

[Animal Freak]

He sure liked it when I was putting it together. He went crazy. His pupils were dilated and he jumped up on it, looking around trying to find the best way to the top while I was tying the fur down. Then we put it where the other cat stand used to be and he was nowhere to be found. Really, if one was going to be unhappy about the change, I'd expect it to be Ember, but she was quick to make herself comfortable up top. It seemed a little backwards for their personalities.

I'm happy he's back in my room too. Until, you know, he decides I need to get up.

I have something entirely unrelated that I've been wondering about though. I've noticed Ash acts like Ember on catnip when I smell odd. It's mostly after I take a shower, but not every time (though I can't say I'm usually petting him right after a shower) and he's done it after I was working outside in the dirt once before. He shoves his face in my hand and rubs into it, often even grabbing my hand with his paws so I can't pull away. He did this just the other night after a shower. He was rubbing my hand and then flopped over on his back, grabbed my hand, bit down, and started kicking me with his back claws. Now, this isn't entirely unusual behavior in itself. If I rub his belly, he sometimes gets in this playful mood where he does this (or sometimes it's less playful if he's not in the mood). It's not hard. Of course, teeth still pinch a bit, but he's never broken the skin and I can only barely feel his claws. However, I was wondering what causes him to do this after a shower (or am in the dirt). It really reminds me of when Ember gets some catnip. She rolls on it and rubs her head in it and will (playfully) attack anyone who gets too close. I thought of it being that he just doesn't like that I don't smell like him, but it really seems more playful than anything. And he's mostly unaffected by catnip, enjoying it only every once in a while.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hahahaha, cats. You never know!!! Cats always will surprise.

At 4AM typically.

My first reaction is that he wants to get his scent on you to "own" you again. The bite without breaking the skin is a love bite (just excited about you). Exposing the belly again saying "I really trust you, thank you for being you". So given it is after a shower (where his scent is gone) or in the dirt (where a foreign cat's scent might be on you) it sounds like he wants everyone to know you are his and get his scent on you then I am guessing he just loves you so much he is just happy to be around you again so he gets playful. I think it is wonderful and special!!

 

[Animal Freak]

This is true. Cats are strange little creatures. Wonderful too, of course, but strange in their quirks and habits.

Thanks. I always like finding those odd little ways they say "I love you" especially with the boys because it can be hard to tell. Frost just seems to like and trust everyone and Ash is so distant that it doesn't seem like he cares. He only comes out and greets two people and, of course, those are the two people who come in that don't care for cats. So it's nice knowing that they might actually like me. I've never had an issue with the biting either which is a good thing since Ash is a sensitive cat. He gives love bites, irritated bites, and the occasional playful ones, but he's never once broken skin and I'm happy to deal with it since it's how he communicates.

 

[calicosrspecial]

They are unique, very unique. Really have character. Love it!!

Oh I know, I have seen all different ways. My one feral loves to nip to say "I love you". Rubbing, head butts, eye kisses, and on and on. Each one seems to like certain ways to communicate.

It is ironic that Ash likes the people that don't know they love cats yet. Maybe he likes the aloofness?

I think your cats know they are really lucky. They don't always show it (and humans don't always either) but I am sure they know it and are appreciative.

 

[Animal Freak]

Yeah, I actually worried because my cats never give me eye kisses. I've tried. The closest they come is closing their eyes and turning away. Ember did it once and I was thrilled. That wasn't all that long ago, actually. But I get head butts frequently and Ash is a biter.

Yeah, I've wondered about it, but no one typically bothers the cats except my sister and she's gotten better about it. Both of the people (my brother and my dad) have nothing against cats, but they're both dog people. They come in my house and they tolerate the cats and will pet them. Oddly enough though, my dad is also the only person Ash has ever used his claws on and actually bit down on. My dad's socks saved him from any real damage and doesn't hold it against him. In fact, he jokes about it because Ash really likes my dad's work shoes and will play with the shoe laces. I don't like this since my dad's work is staining decks, but the cat is insistent. However, the day Ash bit him my dad had worn different shoes so it's become a joke saying he wore the wrong shoes and Ash was mad.

That makes me feel a bit better. I always wonder if they actually like me or if they're just using me. Of course, I love them either way, but it's nice for it to be mutual. I suppose it's true that humans don't show their appreciation either. I'm often accused of this myself even though I'm really just not an enthusiastic person and am socially awkward.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Not all mine have either. I have found that some just don't do certain things. Some are more aloof, some are more affectionate. It is all over the spectrum in my experience. I have had ferals be really warm outside then they come inside and bond with another cast or cats and are less affectionate to us. It is pretty amazing, interesting.

I had a biter as well that never gave eye kisses. My feral guy gives eyes kisses and is a biter. I can't figure it out. Hahaha

Maybe it was because he didn't have the other shoes!! It can be so many things. Cat's do take on our emotions so maybe your Dad was stressed that day, or was more cautious, etc. Cats don't like change either so it honestly could be the different shoes (therefore he thought it was a different person). It is tough to tell sometimes. I am glad you Dad doesn't hold it against Ash. That is probably why it only happened once as well.

I have heard people say the same thing a hundred times. They aren't sure if the cat loves them or is using them. My experience is they are there because they love the humans and are part of the family. If they didn't they would be wanting to get out of the house etc. It is just sometimes cats don't show as much emotion. I truly believe since cats are amazingly self sufficient they only stay where they want to stay. Judging by what you have told me, I have no doubt they love you. I don't get a sense they want to go elsewhere. They know they are lucky.

It is interesting you say you aren't enthusiastic and are socially awkward. I did not see that in our back and forth. It sure seems like you are enthusiastic towards the cats at the very least and your writing sure doesn't seem awkward at all to me. You seem like a great person and are intelligent. Just be yourself. If you are cool when you write you are cool in person. Same person, same thoughts.

 

[Animal Freak]

They are definitely unique and complex animals. It's interesting seeing the differences between them and observing their behaviors. Frost will actually lick you before making any attempt to bite and it's not as though any of them have been in trouble for biting so it seems a bit odd that he developed this habit all on his own. Ash does this on occasion as well, but usually doesn't hesitate to use teeth in any situation. Honestly, Frost might be somewhat dog like. He's very friendly and more curious than anything.

I can't imagine my dad being cautious. He doesn't make a habit of worrying about things. He doesn't tend to express stress either, but it could be a possibility since cats are more sensitive to those things. The shoes are probably a could possibility too though he hasn't done it since.

Well, my cats will take off outside if given the opportunity, but they aren't keen on going far. They've actually had the chance to run off. Twice. When we were moving, the door was left unlocked and blew open. All three were inside. Then a window got left open. When we pulled into the driveway, we saw Ember and Frost jumping back into the window and Ash was already in there. It was terrifying, but it is somewhat comforting knowing that they don't feel the need to leave.

Thank you very much. It means a lot. I have anxiety (which makes what you say mean even more) and, with my strong beliefs about animal rights, I don't tend to get along with people very well. It's easier online, but the anxiety is still there. The longer I talk to someone, the easier it gets. I'm not very motivated to be social though and, even when I am truly happy, I'm not the kind to jump up and down in joy. However, I am very passionate about animals. They're one of the few things that I get excited about. My favorite thing to do is go to the shelter and hang with the cats and I would like to open my own eventually.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Cats are so complex, dogs are different, more narrow in their ways if that makes sense. I have seen many cats that act like dogs, it is amazing. Their are different bites, when it is fear driven and the intention is to hurt it is really known. Hopefully you never experience that. Cats know their strength and the limits (even ferals in my experience).

Cats can sense things we can't pick up on. It is hard to explain but they are very good at noticing anything different. Remember their instinct is survival in the wild so they have be very aware to survive. Shoes, clothes, scents, little things can cause a cat to get defensive.

That is scary. At least they wanted to come back home!!

All cats love to explore and experience something different so not surprising given the opportunity to explore. Again it is hard to explain but a cat that doesn't want to be there will try everything to get out (opportunity or not). I can tell your like their home!!

It is interesting because you seem to be very easy to get along with. I never sensed once that you were anxious (I think you did mention it once before) but I have never seen it. Even from the beginning. I have found animals are a lot better than most people but there are some nice people around, just have to be choosy. It is better to have 1 true friend than 100 "friends". Quality not quantity. The fact you are passionate about animals tells me you are a good person. Hopefully, you share that good person with others as well. You have a lot to offer to others. Just be yourself. You sure seem strong and confident in our thread here (and a post I saw you do on another thread). If you can do it online I guarantee you can do it in person. You are the same person with the same thoughts and beliefs. If some shallow person doesn't appreciate you then they aren't worthy of your friendship.

I hope you do get to open a shelter, I know you would do a great job. It is hard and heartbreaking at times but rewarding as well I would imagine. That is a great goal. In the meantime, you are doing so much good already, saving lives and taking good care of your animals. Giving them love and a great home!!

 

[Animal Freak]

I actually just recently read that, while cats have smaller brains compared to dogs, theirs work more like a humans which is why they're so diverse and unique. Of course, dogs are all different too, but they do tend to be more easily manipulated.

I definitely hope they want to be here. It might not be the best, but I give them everything they need and more. We've spent a lot of money on Ash and his UTI problems. I continuously buy toys they don't care about. I admit I've slacked off in some areas, but I'm trying to make up for past mistakes. The boys would probably be too lazy to bother leaving though. I would actually like to be able to allow them outside, but there's a fairly busy road behind our house and our yard is too small for an enclosure. They're allowed on the porch sometimes, but watching three (okay, mainly just two) cats at one time is difficult. I keep saying I'm going to let them in the fence in back yard, but that's not exactly the perfect situation either.

Thank you so much. Your support means a lot to me. I hope to one day get over my anxiety and even be able to do public speaking on behalf of all animals. As far as friends go, I literally only have one and I don't communicate with her much though we do share the same beliefs about animals (she's always getting animals off the street and trying to find their home or get them one) though not always people.

I think this site has helped me in a way though. I found an open and friendly community here where we all share at least one common interest and I've found it progressively easier to make posts both in my own threads and other people's. I have yet to find a dog thread this wonderful.

My shelter is really the only dream, only goal I have. I want to find a way to make a cage free area that is both safe and open. Where they all get the socialization they need. I realize it will be difficult, but I'm willing to make sacrifices for animals. Even giving them up to their new homes when I've fallen in love with them. It's always tough walking away from them in the shelter. Imagine running that shelter!