Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

Oh yes. I am guessing it has to do with the temperatures (not needing the warmth). But I think some of it is that you have built her confidence so she doesn't need to be as clingy. Hahahaha, I know what you mean, when they get annoying with demanding laptime, etc it gets old fast but when they get more independent it is like "hey, what about me??". Hahahahaha, the grass is always greener................

Yes. Hmmmmmm, usually it is money related when they are so persistent (and not that they want to give some). I would look into something with the address and the person's name that they are "no longer at this residence". Not sure if that is the city or post office etc. I have lived in my home for 42 years so I haven't had to deal with this. :/ But I am guessing there is a way to get her name off your address.

It is good his crabbiness is mostly gone BUT NOT GOOD that he did that. It is either medical (UTI) or behavioral (probably territorial). Did anything happen in your room? I wonder if it is the ferals outside. Make sure you clean it with an ezymatic cleaner. Step up play in your room, feeding him treats in there, giving him love in there, putting something with his scent in there. Anything to give him more ownership and to build his confidence in there.

What's The Best Cat Urine Remover?

They are really smart, totally agree. It is very interesting that he is so good with her. I bet he is easy to teach. You must have taught him something in a short time.

 

[Animal Freak]

I don't know. She goes to my mom more now. And she doesn't sleep with me as much, so I'm missing out on a lot of Ember time. It's always back and forth though. Indeed, the grass is always greener. I miss being able to move at night when they sleep with me, but miss having them near me when they sleep elsewhere. Her antics don't typically bother me too much though. I know I created a bit of a monster with her. My fault entirely. Sometimes it gets to be a bit much though.

I sure wish they were trying to give some money! There'd better be a way to fix this though. It's a bit ridiculous. We get her mail all the time.

Well, he peed in the litterbox the next morning, so it doesn't seem to be medical. I don't think anything happened. I don't know when it happened. Just stepped in it when I was getting ready for bed. I don't spend much time in there until I'm going to bed and I was gone from 10a.m. to about 2:30p.m. No other signs of issues, I can't say. He hasn't playing much, but neither is Frost. I think because of it getting warmer. They want to play, but they just can't seem to bring themselves to get up.

He would have been. I, unfortunately, didn't work on training much. Once he figured out I'd take him for walks, that was all I was good for. He'd let me pet him for maybe five minutes and then run to the door. And I stayed for more than five minutes after getting back from a walk, he'd go back to the door. He'd listen for food and is motivated, but he was too excited to really work with in that state of mind.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I know the feelings.

Hahaha, it never seems to work that way. They are always asking for it. Yes, there should be a better way. :/ I would think the post office can do something ("Return to Sender" type stuff). But I don't know.

Sounds like some territorial insecurity then. I think it must have been an outside force rather than the inside cats/dog. Play can come and go.

He loves his walks. That is good. Well, he seems like he behaved well so something was going right. He loved your attention. I love dogs, he sounds cool.

 

[Animal Freak]

Ember did sleep with me last night which was nice. It got a bit colder again. They had some issues this morning after being fed. I put Ember in my room for a little while until my mom got up. Then she meowed to get out which was a first.

It does seem like there should be something. They hadn't been worried about it at the time and, of course, we still can't say for sure that's what it's about. Definitely seems likely though.

Yeah, it's weird because now that I know there a feral issue and that it's likely a cause of some of the issues with my cats, I've been noticing things. I've never noticed if these are things that happened in the spring when ferals are in heat before. Today both boys were on the couch and Frost got up and made a weird little meowing noise. I looked over and saw he had gotten on top of Ash, had a hold of Ash's neck, and was kneading on either side of him. Didn't seem like humping, just kneading. It was a bit weird.

He's definitely a good dog. A lot of potential for sure.

 

[calicosrspecial]

That is cool. Don't worry, her love for you is as strong as ever.

Sometimes they do have issues after eating. I get that once in a while. Usually they eat, groom, sleep but sometimes they eat, chase, groom, sleep. Hahahahaha.

Hopefully it gets solved soon.

Yes, ferals will cause issues very often. Sometimes the other ferals cause issue with my feral colony!!! And the other ferals are TNR'd and not intact all the time. How is that for crazy. Yes, now it makes sense that Ash is a bit crabby if that is going one more often. My one feral outside does that to the other one once in a while and they are both TNR'd. It makes the other one crabby. Ughhhhhh, it is always something................

He sounds like it. He sounds very cool.

 

[Animal Freak]

I guess all it took was admitting I missed her. She slept with me again last night. Took up most of my bed. And she's been on my lap on and off today. Not as obsessively as she used to, but more than she has been lately.

They used to only have problems before eating in the morning which was solved by me feeding them at the same time every day. Now they're having issues after. In the morning it's really just easier to bring Ember into my room for a little while though. If I left them, there would just be another fight.

It's terrible, really. I'm fine with the ferals being there. I feel bad for them going through all that and having to mate all the time, but their presence doesn't bother me and I'd like to help them. However, on the other hand, I hate that they stress my cats out. Cats are tricky animals. It can be difficult to find a balance with any more than one around. I've never seen Frost mount Ash before though. Ash didn't seem too bothered by it. He jerked his head back once, but didn't bother moving.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hahahaha, she knows. She is saying "don't worry, I love you most". Of course then they get a bit annoying taking over everything but it is still great.

Sometimes they like to keep eating and get a little envious of others still eating. :/ Always something.

Yes. It is hard on the inside cats typically and a source of a lot of behavioral problems. But it is very hard to curb. There are millions and millions of ferals. And people typically don't even know they are there causing the issues they have. Cats really are tricky animals. Unique BUT we have the knowledge about them and with the proper effort and techniques we can solve the issues the vast majority of the time which is great. Yes, it can be quite shocking both for the human and the cat.

 

[Animal Freak]

It is great. It's been back and forth, though, because of the weather. It keeps going from chilly to warm and back to chilly. When I was cooking today she decided to climb my leg though. That kind of hurt. I'm used to her sticking her claws in the back of my pants. That's normal. I guess I ignored her too long or the food smelled too good. All of a sudden there were extra claws in my leg and a lot of weight. I look back and she had her front paws below my waist and her back paws above my ankle. 9lbs+ of cats hanging onto your pants by her claws is not comfortable.

Also, I've been paying attention to her near-bald spot. It does seem like the fur is starting to grow back in places. It's a bit patchy. However, I think it's also spreading. It seems like it goes over her knees more now than it did before and along the sides of her stomach starting from under her front legs, ending maybe half way down seems quite thin. She also had little dots on what would be the hock on a dog. Not sure if the terminology is the same for a cat.

Indeed, always something.

It's definitely not an easy situation. Even knowing what the issue is doesn't help a ton. I do think I want to try some valerian for stress. I've heard of it being used for dogs and cats, and both Ember and Stella could benefit from it if it works. I'll have to do the research though.

And yesterday I saw Ash mount Ember! It's been a little while since he's done that. She didn't appreciate it. Neither did I.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Nope. I know exactly what you went through. They sure get persistent...............

Hmmmmmmm. Is she scratching or anything more? Or is she sensitive there? Could it just be that she is getting rid of her winter coat? Is it in places she is laying on more? Is it dots on her skin or the fur? Maybe she is having an allergic reaction? I am not great on medical issues sadly so I would definitely post and see what people think. I am sure others have gone through the same thing.

YEP. ALWAYS. Hahahahahaha

Yes. The best thing is to work on confidence building. All the things we talk about, Play, Food, Height and Love. The more they realize that their territory is not at risk or their food source or their safety they will learn to accept the ferals. And keeping a really calm and confident demeanor as cats pick up on our emotions. My sister has a dog with bad anxiety but she never found anything to help sadly. I think cats are actually easier to deal with on that issue than dogs in my experience.

OH NO!! Learning from Frost and redirecting. Pretty typical. Ember has to tell him it is not acceptable. Hopefully she does. Keep working on building Ash's confidence and keep trying to get Frost and Ash together in a positive experience. Confidence tends to solve most problems. But I think the outside ferals are instigating some of this too.

 

[Animal Freak]

In her defense, I needed to cut her claws. I did that today. So much better having dull claws stuck in your pants than needle-sharp ones.

No, not scratching. Not in that area, anyway. Doesn't seem sensitive. At least, she doesn't react any more than I'd expect from her being held on her back. This started a while ago, so I think the beginning of it was too soon for blowing her coat and I sure haven't seen her loose fur like that before. The dots are missing fur on the back of her legs. Just one on each leg. I'm not sure what she'd be allergic to now that she wouldn't have reacted to before. Not necessarily impossible. Allergies can develop. I've had it happen. Just not sure how likely it is or what it could have been before anything was growing. It's just so weird. It's been going on for so long it seems like there should be other symptoms by now if she was ill, but she seems fine.

Well, hopefully they'll calm down. And the ferals will get neutered. The anxiety can be an issue. Stella doesn't really have a whole lot of anxiety issues, but she's a sensitive dog. It would be helpful if I could get her to chill a bit while I work on improving the behaviors. And Ember could use something to help her get through kitten season with the ferals.

They're ridiculous cats. Always learning from each other. Ember jumped up on the counter while I was standing there cooking. It seemed very Ash-like. They haven't been playing much though, so I don't really have that to build confidence. I think they're too warm. Though today was quite chilly. The boys don't seem to hold any grudges though.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hahahaha, yes. That is when I realize that I forgot to trim them.

Hmmmmmm, nothing seems obvious. Next time she is in the vet I would bring it up. One would think she would be over grooming there or scratching etc. Maybe she is laying on it more? I am sure someone on here has experienced that. I just don't know.

Eventually they will calm down BUT it can take time. Dogs can be sensitive and then cause the cats to be. It can be very tricky. Just do your best. It doesn't sound like it is too bad right now so hopefully more progress can be made soon.

They all are. It is amazing how they do learn and they learn a lot of bad stuff typically. The good news is play is only one leg of the confidence stool. Food, Height and Love can overcome any play issues. Most cats play but I have run into a few that just don't for some reason. But giving them scent soak places and giving love etc are really good at getting there. Anytime there is a problem place getting their scent all in that area and giving treats and love in that area tends to get them to "own" it more and feel more secure. It is great the boys don't hold grudges. Some do.

 

[Animal Freak]

It's how I keep track of their nails. I never keep up on them as well as I mean to, but I don't put it off for long!

I don't know about her. The knees I could see potentially being from rolling around on the floor, but I don't know why it would be happening now when it's something she's done for a long time. Her poor legs are so sad looking though. And I don't know what would cause her to loose fur on the insides of her legs. Those shouldn't really be rubbing against the ground.

I do hope they get over it. Things seem relatively calm now. There's the occasional issue, but nothing major. Frost has been a bit of a jerk to Ember. He doesn't like her anywhere near him most of the time.

The boys do seem to want to play and they do play on cooler days, so I do think it's because of the weather. Frost is the hardest one to get up. He'll go after a toy once and them flop down on his side and refuse to get up. I used to be able to nudge him up and keep him going for a bit before he'd run off, but now he either flops again immediately or runs off the first time. I am trying to make sure I pet them when they come over. It just seems like I always have something I need to be doing, so sometimes I forget that they need my attention too, especially when they act like they don't so often.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I think we all try to keep up but most of us get sidetracked. I too take it as a sign I am behind.

They could be rubbing on each other. Like if they are walking on a straight line their legs could rub together. Not sure if that is what it is but it might be. I still wonder if it is an allergy. Sometimes cats get reactions from things they didn't before. I just don't know. I would think there would be some focus by her on that area if it was bothering her. I think the next time she is in the vet I would definitely ask. But they may not know either. It is so difficult to diagnose cats. No luck from other people if they experienced that before?

That is good it is calm now. I think they will get over it. We always have issues sadly with cats. Yes, sometimes cats get grumpy and do let the other cat know. Sometimes it makes sense sometimes not. My oldest sometimes had enough of another cat wanting to be groomed. And she tells them!! But it is always how fast they get over it that really matters. As long as a cat doesn't have unhappiness or a lower quality of life then it isn't too worrying.

Yes, cats can get a bit lazy. And sometimes they love to be on their back and swat at a toy. They realize it is just fun and not real hunting. Just keep trying. Some cats are just more predisposed to laying than others even with our best efforts. It is so easy for us to get wrapped up in all the things we need to do. Happens here all the time. But all we can do is sometimes stop and give them a little love etc and hang out with them as mush as possible. Cats are independent but they need love. Last night I was giving one of the outside ferals love and he was all rollie pollie and purring etc. And I thought, wow he loves this, I need to give him more love. But a half hour of it gets a bit time consuming. But we just have to do our best.

 

[Animal Freak]

I can't say I've ever noticed her legs rubbing and I've watched her walk since seeing the lack of fur, but I can't guarantee anything. I didn't pay attention beforehand and it's not like I watch her constantly. It definitely seems like if it was an allergy then she'd be licking or scratching at it. Allergies usually cause an irritation. At least I haven't lost my hair so far... But I don't know. It seems weird that her fur just randomly fell out without her doing anything. I'm thinking of taking her to the vet with Stella since Stella is due for her shots. It's quite honestly driving me crazy. Nothing from other people as of yet other than the suggestion of stress that I got before, but I don't really see her being stressed enough to lose her fur like this.

Ember doesn't hold a grudge against Frost. Every now and then when he gets bad I see her give him a wider berth. I think she's mostly gotten used to it at this point, but she'll still turn around and walk away rather keep walking if he hisses at her. I don't like it because sometimes he keeps her from getting in my room and I worry about her becoming insecure and redirecting aggression onto Ash. I just don't understand why Frost has a problem with her walking by. I can understand if she's trying to play with him, but it's not always that.

Everyone's gone crazy since I got home tonight. Of course, only Ember wanted to play when I tried. But any other time they're all running around like crazy. I did see Ash play with Ember a couple of times the other day. It's been a long time since that's happened. And I'm trying to make sure I stop and pet them when they come over. I can't say I search them out, but I'm doing better about not just ignoring them when they come to lay on my lap.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hmmmmm, yeah, I thought of stress but she doesn't seem stressed and I agree on allergies. I would think next time you take her in for shots or something else then I would ask. If money is tight right now and since she seems to be fine in every way I am not sure it is urgent to take her in. BUT it is always good to get things checked out just in case because one never knows what might be going on and it is always good to catch something early (if it can be caught). It is hard. Diagnosing is so hard at times. :/ Just do what you can and think is best. I always err on the side of caution but not everyone can.

That is good that she doesn't seem bothered. The fact she looks away from Frost tells me she trusts him. NO CAT would turn their backs on a true threat. Frost does it because he is a cat. My boy is a brat and likes to tease and do things like that. It is more teasing than play but it might be a way to get them to play. My boy LOVED my previous older cat but he would corner her and get her to hiss just to tease AND my older cat LOVED the attention. She would actually try to instigate him to do that and after it happened would follow him to try to get it to happen again. Crazy stuff.

Hahahahaha, yep Seeing you gave them a burst of energy. It is like us on a beautiful day, we feel more alive. When cats see the person they love it is a burst of energy, adrenaline. I love to hear Ember wanted to play and that Ash and Ember were playing. That is great that you give a pet and attention a little more but I am not at all worried that you are not showing them a lot of love every day.

 

[Animal Freak]

Money is pretty much always tight, but I'll manage if I have to. I have the money to pay for it. I just have so many other things to spend it on as well. We can take both of them in and get their shots done as well as get the vet to look at her. It's really bugging me. If it had just stopped where it was and grown back then I would've left it alone, but my cat is going bald and I can't figure out why. We've joked that she's turning into a sphinx. I can't imagine how obsessed with heat she'd be if she had no fur. I've always been quick to take them in to the vet, but I hate doing it, especially with her. If there was a single difference in her behavior, I would have taken her in immediately.

Cats are weird. I don't think Frost is trying to get Ember to play though. She tries playing with him fairly often and the only times he plays in return is around meal time. He always flops down on his side or back when playing, so even when he does make some aggressive vocalizations it's pretty easy to tell if he's playing or not. And Ember knows as well. If I question it, then I can tell by how she responds. I wouldn't worry about it as much if he didn't prevent her from going down the hall or getting into me room at times though I can't say I like him doing it.

It was funny watching them run around. Ember is so cute as she runs with her tail sticking straight up. Though she's rather dangerous because she runs room to room. You never know when she's going to go flying by and she'll run right under your feet. Ash is funny because he's a relatively large, somewhat intimidating cat who goes all wide-eyed and kitten-like.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes. I think your thinking is spot on. It is hard to decide but combining a visit with something needed (shots) and having the vet take a look is always good. I know it is hard but I also know you will do what is best. The vet may want to take some tests which can add up fast. If she was not well etc then it would be more worrying. But she seems fine. I wonder if it is a food allergy. Did it begin when you changed her food?

Hahahaha, yep. The fact he flops down on his side and back with Ember there tells me he has NO FEAR of her. That is a very vulnerable position and a really trusting position towards Ember. That is a really good sign. I think Frost blocking etc is him being a brat like my boy. I agree, I don't like them doing that either. My sense is Ember is handling it well though.

That is really cute. Tail straight up is such a great sign of confidence and happiness!! They do love to run back and forth and up and down. WILD!! I love when big cats act like kittens. It really is SO CUTE!!

 

[Animal Freak]

It would be fewer trips, too, if we took Ember and Stella at the same time. I'm honestly not sure what the vet'll do. She tends to do basically as little as possible. My mom likes her because she doesn't push medicine or anything onto us, but she's not quick to worry or do tests. With nothing else out of the ordinary, she may very well not do anything, but I'm hoping she might have some ideas as to what it can be. Don't think it's the food. We've been giving them American Journey for a little while now. I don't know exactly how long, but I'm pretty confident it was before her fur started falling out. And I get the same flavors.

Frost is a very trusting cat. Always has been. And Ember has never done anything to provoke (other than playing) or react to his aggression. He has no reason to fear her because she respects and obeys him. He's just become such a grouch. I don't know where he learned all of his foul language from, but he's sure learned to love it!

Oh, yes. She goes all over the place. Frost is the least graceful when it comes to running through the house. He usually runs into walls, counters, the TV stand... He runs in place for a moment, too, when he starts running or tries to turn because he can't get a grip on the wood floors. It is really cute watching Ash look like a kitten. I always tell myself I'm going to get pictures of it sometime.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Yes, that helps. And it is great that she does want is needed and only what is needed. It doesn't sound like anything obvious and since she is acting normal it is good. But it is always good to get a vet's opinion. Sometimes in food there can be something that causes an allergic reaction. And sometimes the same food flavor (chicken) can cause issues. It will be interesting to see what the vet thinks.

Well, if Frost felt uneasy he would show it. The good news is they have that trust. Sometimes a cat doesn't have to do anything in order to have a lack of trust. Cat interactions are complex but it is a GREAT sign that they have that trust and that says what ever might happen it isn't really serious. Hahaha, yeah, it is interesting how they get sometimes.

It is so wonderful when they are happy like that. I love when they are running around and playing and enjoying themselves. It can get a bit wild and worrisome but it does show they are really happy which is fantastic.

 

[Animal Freak]

I'm certainly interested to hear a vet's opinion. I'm at a loss as to what it could be. I do see her grooming her back legs a bit, but I don't think it's obsessive and she's not pulling her fur out.

Yeah, those two don't have any lasting issues. It would be nice if Frost was a be friendlier and didn't hiss and slap at Ember nearly every time she gets within a couple of feet of him, but Ember doesn't hold anything against him. At least not for long.

It's funny watching them run around. Less funny when you're trying to walk and they're running under your feet. Ash, in particular, is rather amusing to watch.