Struggling With Play Time

[calicosrspecial]

You are doing great. They are doing great and sound confident. Just keep up what you are doing. It sounds to me like it is a very happy normal household. I call that success. There is no such thing as perfect. I just had a hissing incident. It happens. But as long as it doesn't escalate then it isn't a worry.

That is really cool, great!! I think it acts like a mouse that is why they like it. Either way it is GREAT!!

Hehehehe I have a few like that as well.

I think that is very common. I see it in mine. They do go through phases it seems. But I think there is an underlying love and respect.

It happens. Cats do what they want. I am sure Frost didn't for a different reason. Frost probably found a new place he likes for the moment. As long as they are sleeping, acting normal, eating normal etc I call it success.

 

[Animal Freak]

All right. I'll continue as I am. I know I need to stop worrying so much. I'm well aware that I can't achieve perfection, but I believe that continuing to strive for it will ensure that I truly do my best.

Well, I would like to see them go back to cuddling. It's always reassuring. Today they were both on my bed, but my aunt was here to help cut Stella's nails so I don't know if Ember had already been there or if she was hiding there. She was very tense, low down, and wide eyed. She usually greets me at the door when I get home so I wouldn't expect her to be on the bed, but it's not much of a hiding spot.

I'm a worrier, of course. I know it's probably nothing. But they haven't gone more than one night not sleeping in my bed since it got cold. Ember did sleep with me last night. No Frost, but he has more fur than her so I worry less.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Excellent. I have no worry about you not doing anything but your best. They are in great hands.

I know. It is nice when they cuddle but they do change. I have a brother and a sister that were inseparable. And they have drifted apart sadly. They still cuddle once in a while but they have grown apart. It just happens. I just try to make sure that they have the opportunity to do what they choose.

My guess is Ember was a little afraid of a visitor. Which is normal. She couldn't have been too afraid if she was on the bed though which is good.

Oh I know. We only worry because we love. That is nice Ember was back. I am sure Frost will come back too. Their instinct is to survive so if they really were cold they would seek out warmth.

 

[Animal Freak]

That sounds like Ash and Frost. Well, maybe they weren't "inseparable," but I would say pretty close to it. They had grown up with each other. I've thought of them as "brothers" so much that sometimes I forget they aren't actually brothers. They would always be found curled up together, grooming each other. But they don't seem to care for each other so much anymore. They still get along great, but they prefer my attention than the other's these days. It's nice for me to get so much quality time with them and I think the bond I have with the boys has improved, but it is a bit sad to see them drift apart.

Yeah, I would have expected her to be hidden, but she has gotten a lot better with strangers. The boys aren't fazed by other people, but Ember definitely is. However, she usually comes out within ten minutes or so. It all depends on who it is and how loud they are though. Calmer, quieter people definitely get to see her sooner. And if it's loud, rambunctious kids, she'll stay hidden until they're gone. But that's okay. I don't like loud kids either and we don't have company very often.

Yes, they both slept with me last night. Ember was with me until around five in the morning, I think, and Frost got up when my alarm went off which is late for them. I think they usually get up half an hour to an hour prior. I've definitely become accustomed to sharing a bed with them. I don't know what I'm going to do when it's warm again and they no longer need the extra warmth.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I know but I think it is a feeling of more confidence that they drift apart. That they don't feel they "need" them anymore for protection etc.

I trapped my girl and usually when the trap goes off the other cats run. Well, my boy (her brother) stayed around, didn't want to leave her. So I trapped him as well. Then they were inseparable but as time went by and they felt more secure they "needed" each other less. I take it as a positive that they must feel pretty secure to not always be together. The main thing is they can cuddle if they want and they are happy. But I know what you mean. And it is good they are bonding with you so much.

I think she has made good progress (another sign you have built her confidence). I would hide too from loud rambunctious people!!

Awwwwwwwwww so nice.

 

[Animal Freak]

I can only hope that's what it is. Though Frost has always seemed like a confident, care-free cat. We always say he's the very epitome of the saying "curiosity killed the cat." It hasn't yet, but I worry it might. It's not often one sees him at all scared. He has very little fear and no survival instincts whatsoever. He needs someone to protect him from himself!

That's sweet that he didn't want to leave her. I guess it can be a good sign that they don't rely on each other, but it's definitely bittersweet to see their bond fade.

Yes, she has. And I would too if I could. We don't have kids around often though. Usually it's only my sister who has become rather timid around people she's not very familiar with and has stopped trying to harass the cats. My mom used to babysit a little, but it got to the point that they wanted her to watch their kid every weekend and she quit. We're not very social people which may be a good thing or may be a bad thing. It makes it difficult to socialize the animals, but they're all friendly enough.

 

[calicosrspecial]

I think it probably is. Frost does seem confident which is great. I have a girl like you mention, so curious ALL THE TIME. It can be scary, I know what you mean. :/

So true. But as long as they are happy, that is all e can do and let them make their choices.

As long as they are happy that is the most important thing. If they had to be around people all the time then we would have to socialize them but if it is occasionally then it isn't too important. You cats sound like they are happy and doing great, that is the main thing.

 

[Animal Freak]

It really is. It's worse when I'm a bit scatterbrained and my mom seems to think they're going to know to not mess with something. Like every time they get into something is the first time. He used to get in the recycling, but we got it picked up and he hasn't gotten into it since. We really have to watch him around plastic and doors. He'll slip through the door without you even knowing it. He's gotten locked into the pantry and wandered off the porch once. He's darted into the basement a couple of times and who knows what bugs are down there.

Of course. It's not as though we can force them to remain best friends. And I guess there can be a bright side to it if it means they bond with you instead.

Yeah, I'm not too worried. I don't like that Ember hides from people and I'd rather see her always confident and secure in her home, but at least she can rest assured that she has a safe place. My room is pretty much off limits to people unless they're invited in and then it's only briefly. She does a good job at hiding too. I don't know how since there aren't very many hiding places, but she manages. Sometimes I can't find her!

 

[calicosrspecial]

I know. It seems like the more you don't want them to go somewhere or mess with something the more they want to. So frustrating.

So true.

Cat are VERY good at finding hiding places. I know what you mean. I will look for one of mine and I can't find them anywhere. Then out of the blue there they are. Amazing. Having a safe place is good and that means you have trust. Of course it is nice when they are social but their survival instincts need to be on at all times too.

 

[Animal Freak]

It is. Especially when you don't realize they did it. It can be dangerous for them and I'd hate for something to happen to them when I could have prevented it.

Ember seems to have mastered the skill. Ash has a natural talent. I don't know if it's me or him, but he lays in the dark corners and I can't find him. I'll look everywhere and he'll be in the first room I checked. And, of course, he'd be blatantly ignoring me calling him.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Oh I know. But all we can do is our best. We can't prevent everything.

I know. They really are amazing. They can be a bit naughty playing hide and seek like that. Cats.......

 

[Animal Freak]

I wish we could. It would make having animals easier.

Yeah. It's almost scary how easily they can disappear.

So yesterday someone threw up. A lot. It was shortly after their dinner and it didn't even look like it had been chewed. I thought it was one of the boys because Ember is on a different, grain free food. However, this morning I caught Ember throwing up and it was just a small pile of the urinary tract health food. How she managed to throw that up and none of her own, I don't know. I'm guessing she's eating too much, too fast because she wants to eat it before she gets caught. I think I'm going to start separating them. I like them being near each other while they eat, but I don't want her making herself sick and she's suppose to be on a diet. I'm not sure how much it'll help though, considering none of them usually finish their food immediately.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Oh I know. I worry all the time. :/

It is in their instinct, survival. Cats aren't too far removed from being wild. So they are really good at moving around quietly, hiding, etc.

Yep, eating new food too fast will do that. She probably would gulping it down. Cats. At this point it is fine to not have them eat together. Or just watch them really closely. I know it is hard to have separate foods. Just do your best. You are in a good spot with them. Just don't make too abrupt of a change to how you feed them (time and place etc) as cats don't like change. I know you will do a great job.

 

[Animal Freak]

They're definitely amazing animals. I don't know how anyone could not like them. Everything about them is absolutely fascinating.

Yeah, I think that at this point it's best to not let them eat near each other. However, for a cat who really doesn't like change, Ember took to this one quite easily. All I had to do was take a few steps towards the hall and she darted off into my room. I think she prefers eating in there. I guess because that's her safe room and where she feels the most secure. Honestly, she would still sometimes try to go into my room to eat despite the fact that I only ever did that when things got too bad between her and Ash, and it had been a while. I haven't shut her in or anything though. I will if it seems necessary, but I wanted to see if maybe just the separation would help ease the temptation of gobbling their food. She hasn't gotten sick though and I haven't seen her eating too much of their food. Sometimes quite a bit after a meal she'll eat some scraps, but at least she's not eating their food on top of her own. She used to eat the same food as them so it's not as though it's completely new, but it's not part of her main diet anymore.

 

[calicosrspecial]

So true!!

That is great!! Just make sure that Ember doesn't start retreating into your room etc. So keep interacting with her and building her confidence elsewhere in the house. But that is great, I am proud of you and Ember. You obviously helped her a lot. Wonderful!!

 

[Animal Freak]

Oh, yes. We always play in the living room. Well, our before-dinner session goes through the living room, dining room, and kitchen because they make me drag the toy behind me. She seems pretty comfortable with the rest of the house but my room is the place she runs to when she's feeling insecure. She does hide under my mom's bed sometime too. Mine sits on the floor, so she can't get under there. And I still haven't seen her eating much of their food though I can't say I've been watching closely. I often have other things to do while they eat. At least no one is throwing up.

However, I am a bit worried about Frost. He's not eating well in the morning or in the evening. He's thin enough as it is. He's lighter than Ember is and she's smaller than him though she is a bit overweight. He wants to eat the other two's food. I don't know why theirs is so much better, but apparently it is. Ash isn't eating too well either, but he normally goes back to it later. Or to Frost's as the case may be. I'm honestly wondering if we shouldn't just let Frost eat what he wants, but Ember isn't on the same food as them and it makes it harder for me to keep track of who's eating what.

 

[calicosrspecial]

Great. That is normal to have a "safe base". So glad that no one is throwing up.

Does he act normal otherwise? Is he less active as usual? Does he eat the others food well or just nibble? The grass is always greener for cats. :/

See if you can maybe give the food as treats. Kind of feed him. I don't want to start bad habits and have him wanting to be hand fed all the time but if you are worried about his intake it is worth the effort so he does eat.

It is never easy, is it. :/

 

[Animal Freak]

Well, not throwing up food anyway. Ash has a furball just about three times a week. Often times more.

Yes, he seems to. He's fickle when it comes to play, but they all are and that's nothing new. Sometimes he plays more than the other two, sometimes not at all. He lays with me every day and most nights. I can't say I've paid much attention to how much he eats of the others'. When I catch him, I shoo him off and will usually take him back to his own bowl where he may or may not eat a little more. He doesn't seem to eat very quickly though.

I did try to hand feed him a little from his bowl, but it was probably still seen "food." Maybe if I put some in a treat dispenser it'll be "treats?" I'm willing to hand feed him if it means he's not underweight. Anything to keep him healthy. I did decrease the amount of wet food he was getting because it was being wasted, but I think that made it worse. Maybe I'll give him more.

 

[calicosrspecial]

The food is really the main thing. Hairballs happen unfortunately. Ash must groom a lot which is a positive.

That is good that he is acting normal. Maybe try to turn the eating from the others bowls into a positive. So maybe bring his food over and try to feed him that and then switch out the bowls. I don't think it is an issue but maybe "shooing" is creating a negative association? I don't think so but worth a try. I am guessing he is like most cats, they always love the other one's food.

Oh, well, there goes that idea. You could try the treat dispenser. Maybe the food is just not interesting to him. I have this issue with one of my cats and my ferals are terrible about getting bored with their wet food (not their hard though). Maybe try to up the wet food and switch around the flavors? That is what I do, never the same flavor in a row.

It is tricky and I am not an expert on feeding sadly. You may want to post on the other section and see if others have good ideas.

 

[Animal Freak]

He does. It might be borderline obsessive grooming. If he's not sleeping or going crazy, then that's what he's doing. It gets worse when he has a UTI though. I think the thickness of his fur makes it worse. Neither of the other two ever have hairballs. Frost has had maybe two, possibly three, very small ones throughout his life.

It's hard. Ember is eating a different food than him and Ash gets glucosamine in his food. It won't hurt Frost to eat it at least as far as I'm aware, but I don't want Ash missing out on it. I think Ash usually eats the top of his food where the powder is though. I have increased the amount of wet food he's getting, but I'm not sure that it's helped much. We do always have different flavors of food, but I don't pay much attention to which I'm using and when. I do try not to use the same one continuously.

I might. I'm not sure how worried I should be. Everything else seems fine and he doesn't seem to be suffering in any way. The vet wasn't worried which should be reassuring, but I don't trust easily and don't really know how reliable the vet is. I can't say we've had a problem with them yet.