Stray Cats As A Factor In Major Life Decisions...

[ezwriter]

Hello everybody,

I have 5 cats, plus I am feeding another 6 (3 tame strays, 2 semi-ferals, 1 completely feral).

I am in the process of deciding whether to keep my current job, which will force me to relocate to another city, or to stay where I'm at and look for another job.

It dawned on me that I'm thinking about my strays (and, to a lesser extent, my pet cats), as I'm leaning more and more towards staying where I'm at. I'm thinking "who will feed them? who will take care of them? how can I leave them when they depend on me?" I also think about one of my pet cats, who likes to spend time outdoors, and would probably be forced to become a 100% indoor cat if I moved. (She's the mother of my other four, and doesn't like to be around them very much, so going outside gives her a bit of a break from them. She's lived her whole life in this apartment complex, so I think leaving it would be pretty rough on her. It's her territory. The other four get to go outside occasionally under my close supervision, and they are very familiar with the lay of the land here, so they would be negatively affected by a move as well.)

Then, I feel like this is kind of crazy. Like, who makes major life decisions based on pets and stray cats?

I'm not saying it's the only factor in my decision...I hate moving in general, I just turned 56 and have no desire at this point in my life to start over in a new city where I don't know anybody, and the job is very demanding as it is, and doesn't leave me with a lot of free time to actually live my life...so there's all that.

But if I'm being honest with myself, the cats are really a big deciding factor in my mind.

So my question to members of this site is...

Have you ever based a major life decision on your cats or strays, or other pets? If you have, tell me, so I don't feel so alone and crazy in thinking this way.

 

[KarenKat]

Can't say I have any major life decisions, more tiny life micro-decisions. Like when my boyfriend and I slept apart for about a week so Olive, the new cat that used to live outside, wouldn't feel lonely. Or how we don't go on vacation as often because of the cats.

I've never had a bond with outdoor stray/feral cats, but I can imagine it wouldn't be any less emotionally relevant than indoor pets. I would never even think of living any of our three cats behind in a move, so I understand wanting to stay so they are cared for.

Can you go on social media (Facebook, NextDoor, Twitter, etc) and see if there is a group or individual that would want to take over for you? If you find someone you trust to care for them, maybe you could evaluate if the move is right for you.

All in all, I think this just shows how compassionate and caring you are, and I don't think you are crazy at all.

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

.
ezwriter - A chap goes to see a psychiatrist, and says, "my Wife says I'm crazy because I like cats." The psychiatrist replies, "that's absurd; I like cats too," and his prospective patient responds, "lovely; you should come and see my collection sometime; I have hundreds of them!"

I have eleven in the house currently, though I spent years ridding the neighbourhood of strays and ferals by dint of trapping, vetting and socialising them sufficiently so they might have real homes. When the last (final) two ferals proved too wild to socialise in sort order, I built a place on the property for them. Kindliness calls it a, "guest house," though in reality, it's a Cat Palace.

I'm home unfailingly at 10AM, 5PM and 10PM because that's Canned Food Time. I feed the red foxes in the yard every night at dusk, and haven't missed a feeding in many, many years. Nothing is scheduled during Cat Play Time, and for that matter, if the phone rings and I can't reach it because of Cat On Lap, they'll either call back or not. All the same.

Preamble finished; you're in the right place. There's a multitude here on TCS whose Lives have been devoted to caring for cats - indoor, stray and feral alike, and doubtless they'll be along in due time to applaud your kindness and sense of responsibility to those less fortunate than yourself. While you wait, allow me to suggest this as reading material:

Moving House, Taking The Colony With Me.

I know Norachan and will say that she is mostly not crazy - she's simply devoted to caring for her cats. You're hardly alone - and here, you're in good company. The definition of, "crazy," is to be in a position to help, and not to do so.
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[marmoset]

I know I do and the people who volunteer/ work at the shelter I'm with also do. You are certainly not alone. Relocation is the biggest issue because I feel that if I'm caring for a colony leaving them to move closer to a job is too much. Anyone who'd take over would have to either buy my house (not likely as it's the teeny tiny house on the street with no central A/C and needs a sewer pipe replacement to the street) or drive here every day and trespass to feed the cats.

I'm stuck here unless I relocate the whole colony with me. Retirement home- no way. I have to get them fixed and wait for them to naturally die off. That's something I am willing to do but again- it'd be nice to move to a home that isn't so high maintenance, in a cheaper tax area, closer to work etc.

I'm not saying this is the right choice or the only one but I'm trying to say that I too take the cats into account- I don't even want to move away from the shelter I work with because those are my people.

 

[kittypa]

If it's any consolation, I gave up my retirement dream of moving to the central coast for similar reasons.

 

[shadowsrescue]

I moved 5 months ago. It took my DH and I almost 1 1/2 years to find a place that would be ok for the humans as well as the perfect spot for my cats. I had 3 indoor only cats and 3 feral cats who lived on my deck that I was taking with me. I had to have the perfect place where the cats would have the perfect spot. People thought I was crazy taking so long to find a place and a place that was ok for the cats. Other people thought I was crazy for taking the 3 feral cats along. I could have never ever left them behind.

I moved and brought the 3 feral cats into the house. I had the perfect 3 walls of windows room that was just off the main family room. It too had glass doors so the cats could see and hear the comings and goings in the house. It has been a process, but oh so worth it.

You are not crazy... just a cat lover!

 

[walli]

I too have made major life decisions based on the Feral Cat I have.
She is dependent on me now and I can't just let her loose, I'm in it for the long haul, If you really want to move, a lot of people here have experience moving Ferals, and can help you through it.
I think that would be the question, how do I do what I want with these cats?
Your awesome for caring!

 

[1 bruce 1]

Hello everybody,

I have 5 cats, plus I am feeding another 6 (3 tame strays, 2 semi-ferals, 1 completely feral).

I am in the process of deciding whether to keep my current job, which will force me to relocate to another city, or to stay where I'm at and look for another job.

It dawned on me that I'm thinking about my strays (and, to a lesser extent, my pet cats), as I'm leaning more and more towards staying where I'm at. I'm thinking "who will feed them? who will take care of them? how can I leave them when they depend on me?" I also think about one of my pet cats, who likes to spend time outdoors, and would probably be forced to become a 100% indoor cat if I moved. (She's the mother of my other four, and doesn't like to be around them very much, so going outside gives her a bit of a break from them. She's lived her whole life in this apartment complex, so I think leaving it would be pretty rough on her. It's her territory. The other four get to go outside occasionally under my close supervision, and they are very familiar with the lay of the land here, so they would be negatively affected by a move as well.)

Then, I feel like this is kind of crazy. Like, who makes major life decisions based on pets and stray cats?

I'm not saying it's the only factor in my decision...I hate moving in general, I just turned 56 and have no desire at this point in my life to start over in a new city where I don't know anybody, and the job is very demanding as it is, and doesn't leave me with a lot of free time to actually live my life...so there's all that.

But if I'm being honest with myself, the cats are really a big deciding factor in my mind.

So my question to members of this site is...

Have you ever based a major life decision on your cats or strays, or other pets? If you have, tell me, so I don't feel so alone and crazy in thinking this way.

Yes, yes, and yes to all, we have made major decisions based on pets and it was always weighed carefully and 9 times out of 10 it was based in their favor.
Depending on what your current job is, it might look really good on a resume if you decide to stay and get another similar job if available.
If you decide to move, I'm assuming it will be to an urban area and the stray cats could not safely be re-located? (We've done this, but were moving from city to boondocks and all went well!)
Best of luck in whatever you decide. You're not crazy, you're kind!

 

[kittychick]

I'm glad someone (thanks 1CatOverTheLine !!) mentioned Norachan and that thread!!! I remember it was one of the first threads I read when I found this site - - and that thread really sucked me in (in a good way). Partially out of sheer amazement (and I'll admit - more than a tad bit of jealousy!) at the lengths she's gone to for her furry family. Anytime anyone starts playing the "what would you do if you won the lottery?" my husband can answer for me....."she'd fly Norachan over and have her help us set up a kitty retreat." And he's right.

I can say - - like most of us here care for kitties who aren't easy "just put 'em in a cat carrier and move across the country" cats. We currently care for 4 ferals (who aren't very feral anymore)....and we're at the point where, for various reasons, we really need to move and downsize. But my hubby knows - I won't go anywhere until the 4 either come in permanently (I'm still working on that!) or someone else adopts them from us as inside kitties. And the 4 feral/semi-ferals are in our will (not that we have much) as are our inside kitties.

One of my favorite stories of someone making life decisions around their pets comes from a wonderful couple who adopted two kittens we fostered several years ago. We fostered two little orange tiger brothers - Tom and Jerry - to try to socialize them because they were beyond terrified at the shelter at which we volunteer. A few months later, despite working with them for hours every day, they were better with us, but that's it. The night before the boys were supposed to go back to the shelter (and a full two days of sobbing) - we got a call from someone who'd seen my Facebook posts about the boys. Of course the minute the couple got here, both boys ran under the bed. Amazingly - the couple said "they need us - we'll take them"!!!!! We've become friends with the couple, and get to visit Tom and Jerry periodically. And last year we discovered the couple was making the ultimate sacrifice for this pair. They'd planned on retiring this year and traveling the country with their 4 cats and one dog in their RV...and they'd worked with each animal to get them used to the RV. But Tom was just terrified of the RV. So what did they do? They've changed retirement dreams - - which now will be no travel, just staying home with the boys! How's that for working your life around your furry family members? (I think the boys landed just where they were supposed to).

So yeah....they all factor into our life decisions, big and small. When friends say they don't get it - I always say "if they were our human kids - versus our furry ones - you wouldn't say 'just move - your kindergartener will find someone to feed him.'"

(I attached a pic of Tom and Jerry in their favorite sleeping spot when we fostered them - - an old rubbermaid container!)

 

[1 bruce 1]

View attachment 243373 I'm glad someone (thanks 1CatOverTheLine !!) mentioned Norachan and that thread!!! I remember it was one of the first threads I read when I found this site - - and that thread really sucked me in (in a good way). Partially out of sheer amazement (and I'll admit - more than a tad bit of jealousy!) at the lengths she's gone to for her furry family. Anytime anyone starts playing the "what would you do if you won the lottery?" my husband can answer for me....."she'd fly Norachan over and have her help us set up a kitty retreat." And he's right.

I can say - - like most of us here care for kitties who aren't easy "just put 'em in a cat carrier and move across the country" cats. We currently care for 4 ferals (who aren't very feral anymore)....and we're at the point where, for various reasons, we really need to move and downsize. But my hubby knows - I won't go anywhere until the 4 either come in permanently (I'm still working on that!) or someone else adopts them from us as inside kitties. And the 4 feral/semi-ferals are in our will (not that we have much) as are our inside kitties.

One of my favorite stories of someone making life decisions around their pets comes from a wonderful couple who adopted two kittens we fostered several years ago. We fostered two little orange tiger brothers - Tom and Jerry - to try to socialize them because they were beyond terrified at the shelter at which we volunteer. A few months later, despite working with them for hours every day, they were better with us, but that's it. The night before the boys were supposed to go back to the shelter (and a full two days of sobbing) - we got a call from someone who'd seen my Facebook posts about the boys. Of course the minute the couple got here, both boys ran under the bed. Amazingly - the couple said "they need us - we'll take them"!!!!! We've become friends with the couple, and get to visit Tom and Jerry periodically. And last year we discovered the couple was making the ultimate sacrifice for this pair. They'd planned on retiring this year and traveling the country with their 4 cats and one dog in their RV...and they'd worked with each animal to get them used to the RV. But Tom was just terrified of the RV. So what did they do? They've changed retirement dreams - - which now will be no travel, just staying home with the boys! How's that for working your life around your furry family members? (I think the boys landed just where they were supposed to).

So yeah....they all factor into our life decisions, big and small. When friends say they don't get it - I always say "if they were our human kids - versus our furry ones - you wouldn't say 'just move - your kindergartener will find someone to feed him.'"

(I attached a pic of Tom and Jerry in their favorite sleeping spot when we fostered them - - an old rubbermaid container!)

*face down from cuteness*
we have "twin" yellow boys, short haired like Tom and Jerry.
Do people have issues telling them apart besides you? I can tell them apart at the drop of a hat but most people get them confused.
I guess it's like having twin children. Mom and Dad can stop a twin switch in their tracks but everyone else is fooled!

 

[kittychick]

You've got two little orange tiger boys too? Post a pic - - would love to see them!

Interestingly, when we first started fostering them, hubby and I both had a REALLY tough time telling them apart. But after about 2 weeks of fostering, their coats & body types really started to change - Tom got a little darker & redder, while Jerry was a little smaller and lighter (you can tell in the 1st photo below). Jerry also had a little bit more of an "innocent and young" face.....and as you can see in the 2nd photo below, the "innocent" part was just an act! (we opened the door and my hubby said "hmmmm....who do you think figured out where the paper towels are?"

When we go visit them now in their forever home - - we can definitely tell who's who as Tom kept getting darker. Plus he usually shoots under their bed when we go visit them.... some things never change.

 

[Norachan]

Thank you 1CatOverTheLine and kittychick



Kittychick I'm really touched to think I made such a positive impression on you.

ezwriter pretty much every major decision I've made in the past 10 years has taken my cats into account.

It started with one stray kitten who was living in the park next to my apartment with her mum. The kitten had kittens when she was only 6 months old. Long story short the whole litter died and she needed extensive medical care. After that I decided I was going to keep her indoors so she'd be safe. Managed to TNR her very feral mum too.

Trouble was out apartment was No Pets, so we had to look for somewhere else to live. We couldn't find anywhere suitable in the town we were living in, so my husband quit his job and we moved to the other side of the country where it was easier to find a pet friendly home.

Then I noticed all the stray cats living around our new pet friendly house.
I started doing TNR, got the whole colony fixed and as many of the socialised kittens into new homes as possible.

Then I realised it was too dangerous for the colony to be roaming around the neighbourhood. There was some big dogs in some of the yards and, even though it was a very quiet rural area, a few cats were lost on the road.

So we decided to move again, bought our own place in an even more remote area. It's a rickety little old house, gently subsiding in one corner, but who cares? It has a huge piece of land with it and it's in the middle of a forest. We spent our savings on the house and land and used our last little bit of money to put up a cat proof fence so they'd be safe.

I have 20+ permanent residents and take in foster kittens whenever asked. It takes up all of our spare time and most of our money, but that's fine. It's really rewarding and keeps us happily occupied.

Doing things to make yourself happy ultimately leave you unsatisfied; you never feel as happy as you thought you would and you're always looking for the next thing. Doing things to make others happy, even if those others are cats, brings you much more joy.

(Thank you for starting this thread and reminding me of that.)

 

[kittypa]

Oh dear, I have a special orange kitty myownself

He is also not as innocent as he looks, but I’m nuts about ginger tabbys now.

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

Doing things to make yourself happy ultimately leave you unsatisfied; you never feel as happy as you thought you would and you're always looking for the next thing. Doing things to make others happy, even if those others are cats, brings you much more joy.

(Thank you for starting this thread and reminding me of that.)

Norachan - Thanks for putting this so eloquently. For an English girl, you speak pretty good English.


.

 

[kittychick]

Norachan - -you have made and ENORMOUS impact on not just my knowledge about how far a person can go for feral kitties. I've always loved for and cared for (and volunteered for and worked for - when not pausing to make a living) animals, large and small. But you in particular impacted the very core of my brain and heart - - - that I could not just make a difference for stray/feral kitties as far as spaying and neutering, socializing and, when possible, finding homes for them, but that I could make a difference in making their lives not just 'livable'.....but enjoyable (as much as monetarily possible). Your story changed how I thought and what I did for them. I cared before - - - and taught my hubby to care that much too - - - but I really do look at things differently now. I can't thank you enough or explain enough how much I (and the kitties we currently care for) have felt I've grown from our "online friendship" at this site!

Many others have touched me too - - - I can't name them all or I'll forget someone for sure (like @msaimee ... or shadowsrescue .......or tabbytom ......or @Sarthur2 ....or @catwoman707 .....or @di and bob .....among MANY MANY others - - - I KNOW I'm leaving VERY important people out). But this site ----and especially folks like you Norachan ----- has certainly taught me so much about just how far a heart can expand!

 

[abby2932]

I was supposed to have attended a bachelorette party out of town this weekend but had to stay behind because I brought home a new kitten last month. He hasn't had his rabies vaccination yet because my holistic vet wants to wait until he is at least 18 weeks old. I can't let my pet sitter watch my cats (I have two cats now) unless they are both vaccinated for rabies. So I had to cancel the trip!

I'll also be buying a new house relatively soon (2020) and my top priority of what I'm looking for in my home will be a backyard porch that I can screen in to have a nice, safe, outside space for my kitties to get some fresh air

It's a minor thing but definitely not something people who don't have pets really "get". Picture of my kitties because they're cute:

 

[1CatOverTheLine]

I was supposed to have attended a bachelorette party out of town this weekend but had to stay behind because I brought home a new kitten last month. He hasn't had his rabies vaccination yet because my holistic vet wants to wait until he is at least 18 weeks old. I can't let my pet sitter watch my cats (I have two cats now) unless they are both vaccinated for rabies. So I had to cancel the trip!

I'll also be buying a new house relatively soon (2020) and my top priority of what I'm looking for in my home will be a backyard porch that I can screen in to have a nice, safe, outside space for my kitties to get some fresh air

It's a minor thing but definitely not something people who don't have pets really "get". Picture of my kitties because they're cute:
View attachment 243784

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[sabrinah]

I make every decision based on my cat, dog, and aquariums. Where I live, which university I go to, whether or not I visit family, etc. I hate my current university with a burning passion but it's cheap, giving me more money to feed them better food and make sure my senior kitty gets all the vet care she needs. A lot of places don't allow aquariums, but my fish are just as important as my furry critters so they aren't going anywhere, regardless of how hard it makes things. Whether or not I go to grad school and how I go about getting my masters and PhD entirely depends on my pets.

 

[tarasgirl06]

Hello ezwriter and WELCOME to TCS! By the time you read this post, you'll undoubtedly have been convinced that you're far from alone in your caring about and for cats. I can only add my heartfelt gratitude to you, and observe that it seems you answered your own question in your post.
Coming from a family where men, women and children, of all ages, have always, as far as I know, loved cats, I think it's not only weird, but really not good, when people DON'T. That's our "normal". There's never anything negative about compassion, kindness and caring IMHO! In fact, I am now wearing my brand new tshirt that says, "You don't lose cool points for compassion" from an organization that does TNR in Atlanta.
My life has always revolved around cats. As a renter most of my adult life, the few times I had to move into a place that did not accept cats, I was less than happy; and I count among my greatest blessings, the fact that I now own a home and have security for myself and my beloved feline family members who currently are 3 rescues -- one adopted from a friend who does rescue/adoptions, one feral, and one adopted from someone who had to rehome his cat because his fiancee has cat allergies.
As a fellow writer, I could natter on forever, but to make a long story a tiny bit longer, I know people all over the world whose cats are beloved family members and who definitely take them into account when making life decisions. I'd feel more "crazy" if I did NOT have friends like these.

 

[tabbytom]

ezwriter , you are not alone and you'll never be alone here in The Catsite.

Glad that you have the welfare of your cats (or ferals) in your heart which is most important to me. To some, they say, ditch them and leave. They are after all animals and they can take care of themselves, which to me is total rubbish. If they can do that totally on their own, they should look for a job and buy their own food or buy themselves a house to stay or walk into the vet's office and say 'Hey Doc, I need a spay or I need a flu jab'. This are just my thoughts if only they can do such things. They still need us whether they are indoor cats or ferals.

Before I had my cat January after many years, I have dogs. From 4 dogs, then I was left with none and then I got another one much later and I was offered to study in the US and because of my last doggy, I forgo my studies. Regrets? NO. What could have turned out after the studies? Better job, better pay? As long as I can get a decent job, feed myself and my dog and not leaving family and friends behind, most importantly is my dog and I was happy.

As many have mentioned in their posts, the cats comes first and indeed the joy there.
What I'm saying is, if you can find a job (switch job?) where you are right now and don't mind a not so glamorous life where you can afford to feed your cats and support yourself and still be with the cats, I'll say, stay where you are.

To me, yes, the cats are my deciding factor

You are not crazy and non of us are