Stray Advice

[Midwest]

Hello All!
Seeking some advice on socializing a stray.

A few months ago a fairly skinny cat started coming around and I would feed it, and it stuck around so I kept feeding it. It's got a very strong flight reflex and runs away easily. Even after several months he will almost always run away when I bring the food bowl to him, then come back. He doesn't like being petted and has never tried to brush up against me, sit on my lap, or give a vibrating pur. However he will sit right next to me. He will sleep next to me. He will yawn his eyes affectionately. And he will play with a laser pointer and wand toy. But if I stand up and start moving around he will get nervous and often run out. I am not actually sure if he is neutered, he does let me get close enough to check so I suppose I should do that. I don't think I have the heart to do if he isn't though. Not sure how old he is, I suspect this is his first winter but naybe not.

I would like to bring him inside more but he freaks out if I close the door. He currently sleeps in a box with some blankets in it that I put outside. On a few of the extra cold nights this winter (below 20) I let him stay inside with the door cracked but I can't do that a lot. I know I could just force him into it but I don't really want to. I assume at this point he would keep coming back if I started locking him in for the night but I feel wrong taking an animal out of the wild without consent. The only times he has ever meowed or made any noise was after he had woken up and realized the door was shut. He really won't have it. It's about to start getting cold more consistently (St. Louis) and we will see if his attitude changes. He comes inside to feed but always with the door cracked. He will explore, sit, and nap inside but he won't have the door shut on him.

I have been feeding him mostly purina cat chow because it is cheap and at least the first ingredient is an animal product. He doesn't like wet food as much and will usually leave half the can. He does eat tuna and runny eggs though. I also give him whole milk which you aren't supposed to do but he loves it. He has gained a lot and was pretty skinny when I met him. Included are pics of him when he was still somewhat skinny and then another now that he is healthier.

My question beyond just advice in general is...Can I ever expect him to be more socialized or is he always going to be jumpy? Also how dangerous is the winter for him in his box? Any tips on insultaing it?

Thanks

 

[Furballsmom]

Hi! There are several experts who can help with your questions;
Jcatbird @shadowsrescue would you have thoughts for the OP?

 

[Jcatbird]

I am so glad you came to thecatsite for advice. This is a great place to get help and support from other cat lovers. Welcome!
The first thing I want you to know is that if you neuter/spay kitty it will probably be willing to stay inside. I know you don’t want to do that but it could save his life in many ways. Outside kitties live much shorter lifespans in general. Males fight, spread disease through mating and fighting and he may roam off, never to be seen again. Are you prepared to have him vanish or would you get very worried? If you would worry then maybe you can understand the importance of getting the kitty fixed. A female suffers many of the same issues as well as having many, many babies since they can go into heat repeatedly through out the year. I know they are scared about being shut in. I’ve raised and dealt with over 100 ferals the past year. Some get very scared but they do calm down and the most feral one, and the last one I caught, is now purring and climbed in my lap yesterday for the first time to rub all over me. The day I shut the door behind him I wrote in to TCS that, “ I had just shut myself in with an enraged feral!” He is a true lover cat. He did cry at first but now he is neutered and prefers petting, snuggling and sleeping in his bed to stay warm. I won’t lie, the kitty may cry at first and you may feel guilty about it but you are saving their life. If it is a choice between some crying now or a sick or injured cat later, which would you choose? It sounds harsh, I know but the life of a feral is a struggle for survival. They can have a different kind of freedom with you and they will be safe, loved and won’t go hungry.
If you feel you must build an outside shelter there are many ways to do it. A simple version is to cut a hole in a large rubbermaid container at two opposite corners and put a smaller styrofoam container inside it. Also put an entrance and exit hole in the strafoam container. Fill the space between the two containers with straw. Put a blanket inside the strafoam container and put the lids on both containers. Keep this under an overhang of the roof or on a porch if possible. There are heated pads you can buy and there are outdoor shelters you can buy. You can do a search on this site for outdoor feral shelters to get more good ideas. I do, strongly suggest spay/neuter and bringing kitty inside. This cat already loves you or would not be coming to you and you’ve made amazing progress! What you have been doing is fantastic! I am sure others will be posting to you as well. Please keep posting to us about how things go for you and kitty.We’ll all be hoping things go great! That’s a beautiful kitty and it’s so wonderful to see the improvement since you have been providing love and care! Wonderful news for us all!
Maybe Mamanyt1953 @surya or @catsknowme could also give some tips. Thank you Furballsmom for giving me a chance to offer some tips to try and help. Always a pleasure to help a kitty rescuer! Hopefully shadowrescue is coming too. Great advice coming!!!

 

[Midwest]

Yeah I knew the experts were going to suggest neutering...I don't know though. Frankly I don't even know if he needs it. I"ll have to check. I assume it is obvious (balls literally removed) right? He is pretty timid already so he might not need to be. I'm not sure what his early history was. He never once hissed at me like with other strays he was always very scared and flighty.

How are these heating pads you talked about powered? That sounds promising.

I'm going to start having a litter box and see if he will go inside and then try to ween him in more.

Thanks for the advice

 

[Jcatbird]

Yeah, sorry we have to stress the spay/ neuter thing and I understand the feeling of hating to do that but it really is better for the health of the cat. There are more reasons than I got into for doing it too. My last male is such a hero guy to me and his Dad produced really beautiful babies but they helped make up a colony of over 100 kitties! Way to many of that colony were their children. I had to make the same choice and at first I felt bad for them but seeing how much healthier they got and how much calmer and happier they are reminded me why I do this. As a rescuer I see hundreds of kittens that were accidently bred. I’ve seen too many suffer without someone to take care of them. That cured me pretty quickly of any thoughts of leaving one Un neutered. I spend all my time picking up the unwanted that were produced by cats that no one had fixed. It’s become many, many thousands of kitties in this country. That’s why I love finding people like you who are willing to rescue an unwanted cat. Regardless of your decision. If you save one cat , you’re great in my book! Thank you! ( If you can bring yourself to have him neutered there are some grants and programs that are available in many areas to help with the expense and I’d be glad to pass on that info. You just post if you decide you are going to get it done.) Oh yeah, the question about seeing the evidence of neutering, it isn’t always totally obvious.

Now, on to the immediate issue of warmth. There are different kinds of heating pads. The ones I am familiar with are the ones you just plug in to electricity and there are some radiant types that just store the animals body heat. Of course the electric provide more heat if you get one with a thermostat control. Some types say they put out heat equal to a cats needed body temperature. I don’t like that kind and my cats don’t seem to either. The radiant ones may help but if cold is very severe it may not be enough. Chewy.com Amazon and even EBay have these things online. Pet supply companies like Petco and petsmart have some too. I have even rigged up tarps in tent shape for and put a lawn chair inside draped with blankets. I used ceramic portable heaters with thermostats to run under the tarps to be safe from any weather. It’s important for the cat that you block wind, rain, snow and if possible get them off the cold of the ground. The ferals actually liked the tarp tents since they could easily exit each end and could get up off the ground but I had to have about ten shelters. If you only need one then you could do something better than that maybe. It just depends on where you need to put it, the climate, access to electricity, and what you think that cat would be willing to go to. If you can tell more here about the area you need to put it then maybe people here can give you better advice. I’ve seen some folks here put up all kinds of shelters. We’ll do anything we can to help you. Thanks again for helping that cat. Have you given him a name yet? Just so you know...... Orange tabbies are kind of a favorite here. rubysmama can attest to that. We love pictures too!

 

[Midwest]

Yeah I will have to figure out if he fixed or not...I suppose I am going to have to google some gross pictures.

He is definitely getting more and more comfortable around me. But he's still a scaredy cat. I'm going to try to take it gradually but winter might force my hand. We will see. Here's another pic, yiu xan see he is getting much heavier, I might have to start rationing his food. Up to now I have just kept his bowl full at all times.

His name is Kitty btw. Yes not very creative but...

 

[Jcatbird]

Awwwww! I love Kitty! He looks a lot me rescue Saffron. I think Kitty is a fine name. I think whatever sticks is what we should call them. My girl Lady isn’t a creative name or the one I have named Mama. The names suited them though. I had one a long time ago named Baby Kitty. Heh! The vet I use said that as long as it’s not an obscene name..... they are good with it! Lol Made me wonder what kinds of names they have heard before but I don’t think I really want to know.
If you google pictures just look for non neutered male and maybe it won’t be bad. You can also post pictures of Kitty here to see if anyone can tell. Sometimes the look is kind of iffy. Hard to determine.

 

[Willowy]

I brought of my ferals inside because a local vet was having a neutering event. . .I put him in my entryway (like an attached garage) and he freaked out. Just went crazy. I was on lunch break and had to go back to work so I just left him to his freakout. He settled in after that. After he was neutered I waited a few days and then put him back outside. Yay! Go! Have fun! But nooo. He sat by the door and meowed to get back in, lol. So now I have an entryway cat, and he will NOT go back outside, even if I leave the door open.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that even if he flips out if you close the door, he'll probably settle in just fine once you get past the initial freakout. He just has to see that nothing bad will happen. Don't get in his way while he's freaking out though. That's a good way to get scratched and bitten.

But yes, he will need all his vet work done. Even though he won't like it. He'll forgive you. So at some point, get a good sturdy cat carrier and some leather gloves, and get him in that carrier. He'll need vaccines, de-worming, and neutering. Maybe flea treatment too. After all that is done you can relax and just enjoy each other's company.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Patience, patience and more patience. Try to be kinda zen about it all...don't be TOO attached to your progress with him, because it will be slow, and there will be setbacks, and some days you'll get two steps forward and one back, but others you might get one forward and two back. Take it all in stride. If you get frustrated, that energy will transmit itself to Kitty, and make him even more anxious.

If Kitty is a full tom, his...erm...bits ought to be fairly obvious. But whether they are or not, he'll need a vet check, worming, de-fleaing, and a general checkup. If there are bits present, they can be dealt with. Male animals don't attach the same importance to those bits as humans do, so don't feel guilty about that. LOL, a little known fact is that males can, and often DO, mate after neutering. They just aren't driven to do so, won't fight over the matter, and tend to be far more content at home. AND there are some cancers that are hormone-driven in both male and female cats, so you'll be saving him from the dangers of that, as well!

 

[rubysmama]

M Midwest - Hello and welcome to TCS. Kitty is gorgeous.
He's so lucky to have you to care about him.

And, yes, as Jcatbird mentioned, as the "mama" to a orange tabby girl, I have a soft spot for threads about other orange kitties.

Can I ever expect him to be more socialized or is he always going to be jumpy?

Absolutely, yes. And the fact that he is lying on a chair inside the house, means he's already started his socialization.

As already mentioned by others, neutering him is the kindest thing you can do for him. It will take away his instinct to mate, and to fight other tomcats. And, if he hasn't already started to spray, should prevent that from starting. And could stop spraying, if he already does. And will, for sure, take away his super stinky tomcat pee smell.

Here are the TCS articles on spay/neutering that should cover any questions you have:

Why You Should Spay And Neuter Your Cats
When To Spay Or Neuter A Cat?
Spaying And Neutering - What To Ask Before The Surgery
Spaying And Neutering - What To Look For After Surgery
Will Cats Become Extinct If We Spay/neuter All Of Them?
How Much Does It Cost To Get A Cat Fixed

If you decide to some day, close the door and keep him inside, here's some articles on ferals/strays:
A Feral Cat Or A Stray Cat? How To Tell The Difference
Handling Feral Cats
The Five Golden Rules To Bringing An Outdoor Cat Inside

And this one on How To Help Feral Cats Stay Safe & Warm During Winter for while he's still spending time outside.

Good luck with him. I hope in time he becomes a cuddly, snuggler lap cat.

BTW, Jcatbird wasn't exaggerating when mentioning the 100 cats. Here's her thread that follows her and the cats' journey. It's super long, so expect to read it over many days.
My Feral And Rescued Cats

 

[Midwest]

Ok lots to think about...

In your opinions based on the behavior I described do I have a stray or a feral? He certainly has never hissed or anything. He just runs all the time.

 

[Jcatbird]

Personally, from my experience with cats, I would call this one a stray. Most ferals without a lot of experience with humans would not be so happy laying in your chair in that last photo. Many, many are dumped when people no longer want them, pass away, move or just can’t afford them. Some are lost or even run away from bad homes.They become frightened when their life circumstances change and it takes awhile for them to feel safe again. You wouldn’t believe how many people chase off kitties, abuse them and harass them. His instinct to run is to survive and out of fear. Dogs, cats and predators also chase them. That’s who I am so ecstatic that he had stuck by you so long.It appears no one is looking for him or has cared about his life but you. You are awesome! You will find that all the people on this site care too. You came to a great place.

 

[Midwest]

Yeah he only started coming up on the furniture recently. Before that I had a box by the door that he would nap in, with the door cracked.
Still no way he would let me pet him though.

 

[rubysmama]

Here's another TCS article: A Feral Cat Or A Stray Cat? How To Tell The Difference

BTW, are you sure he's a he, and not a she?

 

[Midwest]

I am pretty sure he is a he. But I suppose bigger mistakes have been made.
There was a black stray that came around one day and hissed at him which I am assuming was another male. And there is also a very tiny grey cat that I've seen around with a colar on which he seems interested in . I am assuming she is fixed though.

Weather has been pretty good recently so he has been going outside quickly after eating. I will try to progress him inside more and more.

 

[rubysmama]

Good luck with him. Keep us posted.

BTW, do you have a litter box inside for him? Has he seen it? Used it yet?

 

[Midwest]

I am going to start litter boxing soon and see if he takes to that. I'm definitely going to take this slower than some of you would. I'm just not a trap and neuter kind of guy, bot yet at least. He doesn't even let me pet him yet.

But in the meantime I went shopping for him. Got him a rubbermaid bin, some insulation, and a water resistant mat that was incredibly overpriced but fit so perfectly in the tub that I had to get it. Also a longer wand toy, some treats to get him more used to hand feeding, and some catnip.
First time I gave him some catnip ; at first he didn't notice but eventually found the pile and rolled around in it. Then off for some kind of adventure...

So tomorrow will be box construction Saturday. Cheers

 

[rubysmama]

Since he won't be inside only yet, he may not use the litter box, but it can't hurt to let him get used to seeing it. And who knows, he may decide "inside plumbing" is a good thing.

Good luck building his shelter.

 

[Midwest]

All done! It was easier than I expected and I was able to get the insulation to stay firm in place without glue.
Hopefully Kitty takes to it.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

VERY well done!