Still Grieving, But I Want A Kitten... Too Soon?

[Avery]

OMG!!! Now I want a kitten, too! They are both SOOOO adorable and I'm sure either one would work out just fine. It sounds like you are going for kitty #2 and I agree that she is probably the best choice for you and Chilli. (Maybe you can get a friend to adopt the other one!?)

 

[rosegold]

Plus, anything more than two being female and single, i'm automatically in crazy cat lady territory

It’s too true. Though, since I like cats more than most people, the crazy cat lady moniker doesn’t bother me too much.

Totally agreed about the finances, too. I was lucky I had enough emergency savings when Chai got sick, but it’ll be a bit tighter from now until February when I start working full time again. Another reason to get the healthy vaccinated kitten I suppose.

 

[rosegold]

I’ve decided to go with the second kitten. I’m trying to just stick with my gut feeling that getting a kitten is the right thing for me right now, and focus on the excitement and energy of bringing her home soon rather than all the what-ifs... even though I’ve had a few friends tell me disapprovingly that they think it’s too soon and rushed (and other friends and all my family telling me to stop agonizing and just go for it, so definitely some mixed messages there!).

I really appreciate the replies of everyone on this thread. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and advice. You all are so wonderful and caring.

The (nameless as of yet) kitten is sure a cutiepie! I thought of calling her Clove to stick with the “C” names and as a sort of homage to Chai, but we’ll have to see what suits her personality. Any suggestions do send them along! I like one- or two-syllable names, food names, nature names, movie/game/book character names...

No matter what I think she will be a lovely little Christmas present for me and Chilli. Chilli might not agree just yet

First photo taken about 2 weeks ago and the second two are from when she was a baby. She’s already growing up fast! Her mom was a feral street cat, but thankfully this baby and her brother were taken inside with mom to be raised in a warm safe home.

 

[LisaT.]

But is it too soon? I don’t want to dishonor Chai’s memory... And I’ve never had a kitten before so maybe I am underestimating the whole idea of it.

I don't think it's too soon. When my Beamer passed, I got Theo 2 weeks later. I'm so glad I did. I would have been in deep grief for a long time, so getting Theo was like putting a light into the darkness. Hope this helps. And, it hasn't made me forget about Beamer for one minute.

Just saw the picture of your new kitten! How adorable!!

 

[Tobermory]

Here’s an article and a couple of threads that might give you some ideas.
How To Choose The Best Name For Your New Cat
Female Cat Names
Cat Names
Inspiration For Names

Mocha was Martha at the shelter which didn’t fit her at all. I wanted a flower name because I already had Iris and Lily. I must have looked at every flower name or part of a flower on the web for a couple of weeks but nothing fit. I was droning on about it ad nauseam and The Spouse just said “Mocha.” And it was perfect!

I love @LisaT.’s “light into darkness” metaphor. That’s exactly what it’s always been like for me. When I brought Mocha home, I had lost Max three months before at age 20. The Spouse and I were still grieving, but saving and socializing Mocha gave me a new focus.

 

[kittyluv387]

I absolutely applaud your sense of responsibility about the whole thing, and I agree with Tobermory and kittyluv387 , it is a noticeable jump from 2 to 3. I had three for ten years and I loved it, but also thought it was too much in a sense and that I probably wouldn't do that again. Plus, anything more than two being female and single, i'm automatically in crazy cat lady territory. Seriously. I don't know why, but apparently two cats=totally normal and acceptable, three cats and it's all
View attachment 266035
Even though i'm still in my thirties... these are important things to consider! But I digress... and for the record, i'm not the right person to be giving advice about how many to have, because I swore that once all my kitties were gone to the rainbow bridge that I would not have any more for awhile... then my 17 year old got sick and had to be put to sleep, and simultaneously 2 cats showed up on my doorstep, 1 was pregnant, I fell in love, kept both and one of the babies because I am a total sucker, so them plus my existing 15 year old equals 4, and now I have more cats than I ever had in my life!! The end.

Also. The financial part of it is legit expensive. I'm a full time student going back for my second bachelor's, I have one semester left and I am living on a prayer every day that everyone stays healthy for the next six months until I graduate and get a real full time job again!!

Oh some people are so anti-cat. When I had two cats in my late 20s (now 31) people still considered me a crazy cat lady. They thought I should be having a baby instead (this is Texas). Umm ew no thanks lol. Kitties all the way!

 

[Avery]

Yes, kitties all the way! And I am LOVING your new kitty! Such a sweetie pie. I showed the photos to my officemate and we BOTH want kittens! Can't wait to find out what you name her. If you have never had a kitten before, you are in for some fun!!

 

[Talien]

Clove sounds like a good name for her if you're going with "C" names or nature. Maybe Carrot? Or Cola if you want something more fun sounding.

 

[di and bob]

I love Cee Cee, she just kinda looks like it fits. Or Cajun to go with Chilli!

 

[Tobermory]

I like Clove, too, although I’d probably end up calling her Clover because two-syllable names roll off my tongue more naturally. I affectionately mangle my cats’ names constantly. I’m surprised they know their real names. (Max was my only one-syllable cat but I often called him Maxxers or Maxxie.)

Lots of good names among the herbs and spices:
Quick Guide to Every Herb and Spice in the Cupboard

Nutmeg, Rosemary, Saffron, Cinnamon, Sage...

 

[rosegold]

If you have never had a kitten before, you are in for some fun!!

I have not had a kitten of my own before! I haven’t even had a puppy since I was a teenager, and my last puppy was such a good boy and so well-behaved I’m not even sure I got the full experience. I can’t wait!

I affectionately mangle my cats’ names constantly. I’m surprised they know their real names

Oh yes, I do this too. Usually my pet nicknames don’t even sound like their real names. I actually call Chilli Chilli only about 20% of the time—usually she is “MaoMao” which is a nickname my brother gave her since she meowed nonstop when I first got her! One of my old dogs back home is Buttercup, but everyone just calls her “Darling.” I’m sure new kitten will get an equally silly nickname soon enough.

Thank you for the name suggestions! Carrot, Clover, and Cajun are all super cute. I’ve also got Noon, which means snow (and eye) in Korean, since we live in Korea and it’s so snowy here now! Star is on the list as well even though it seems like such a generic pet name. Plum, Sable, Minty, Ivy... Right now her name is Gomi (and her brother is Somi), which is kind of cute in its own way.

 

[kittyluv387]

I have not had a kitten of my own before! I haven’t even had a puppy since I was a teenager, and my last puppy was such a good boy and so well-behaved I’m not even sure I got the full experience. I can’t wait!



Oh yes, I do this too. Usually my pet nicknames don’t even sound like their real names. I actually call Chilli Chilli only about 20% of the time—usually she is “MaoMao” which is a nickname my brother gave her since she meowed nonstop when I first got her! One of my old dogs back home is Buttercup, but everyone just calls her “Darling.” I’m sure new kitten will get an equally silly nickname soon enough.

Thank you for the name suggestions! Carrot, Clover, and Cajun are all super cute. I’ve also got Noon, which means snow (and eye) in Korean, since we live in Korea and it’s so snowy here now! Star is on the list as well even though it seems like such a generic pet name. Plum, Sable, Minty, Ivy... Right now her name is Gomi (and her brother is Somi), which is kind of cute in its own way.

Wow you live in Korea?? Interesting! What part?

 

[rubysmama]

I just came across this thread now. That kitten is super cute, and really does resemble Chai.

I like the name Clove, if you want to stick with the spice names. But when you mentioned staying with "C" names, Christmas came to my mind, as her formal name, with Chrissy her nickname.

 

[nunnc84]

One of my two cats, Chai, died yesterday, to FIP. It was unexpected and horribly untimely; she was young and I’d only had her a few months, and I expected many long happy years with her.

But even though I am definitely still grieving... I have already found myself browsing kittens for adoption. I suddenly felt terribly guilty and closed the page. How could I seek to replace her like that? How dare I try to move on from her so easily? I haven’t even put away her toys and bowls yet, and I’m already looking at kittens... it made me feel awful, even though I’m trying to be compassionate with myself...

But I can’t stop desperately wanting a kitten. Especially another calico or maybe a tortoiseshell that reminds me of her. Am I being impulsive and not thinking straight? I know another kitty will be totally different from her and won’t bring her back. I just want something to take care of and look after. I think I am feeling a desperate need to nurture something, to care for a little needy being and make them safe and happy... to do what I ultimately couldn’t do, in the end, for Chai. All this time I have been nursing my sick, semiferal kitty to health and happiness and it was one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. But suddenly she was ripped from me. Suddenly I no longer have meds to give, food to blend up and syringe feed, treats to tempt with, blankets to clean and hot water bottles to be refilled... I have my one cat Chilli whom I absolutely adore but who is a very easy and low-maintenance cat. My little Chai kitty needed so much care but she gave me so much back in return, and made me feel like I had some purpose, some reason to wake up every day. Now I just feel an empty hole there.

I’m an elementary school teacher, as well, but right now I don’t start work again until February, so I can’t even nurture ‘my kids’ at school. On the other hand, this break from work might mean it’s an excellent time to get a kitten. The idea of having a little baby to look forward to makes me feel happier and more energized to get out of bed, clean and kittenproof my house, distract me from my grief...

But is it too soon? I don’t want to dishonor Chai’s memory... And I’ve never had a kitten before so maybe I am underestimating the whole idea of it. The past week and a half has felt so unreal that maybe I’m just not thinking straight. Any advice or insight is much appreciated.

Get a kitten

 

[rosegold]

Wow you live in Korea?? Interesting! What part?

I live in Seoul! It’s a fun city. There’s lots of “cat cafes” here (and other animal cafes!), so before I adopted Chilli I went to pet kitties there all the time!

 

[kittyluv387]

I live in Seoul! It’s a fun city. There’s lots of “cat cafes” here (and other animal cafes!), so before I adopted Chilli I went to pet kitties there all the time!

I didn't realize korean people liked cats lol. My parents are korean but I was born in the states so I've been to korea a few times. But it would be nice to visit as a tourist next time since it is fun!

 

[ans5181]

You could name her Cornbread to go with Chili

For real though, some suggestions:
Celeste
Cocoa or CoCo
Caramel
Curry, Cumin
Cookie
Coffee
I might or might not be hungry

 

[ans5181]

she is “MaoMao” which is a nickname my brother gave her since she meowed nonstop when I first got her!

My friends had a cat whose real name I can't remember, but the husband would call her Princess Me-How for the exact same reason!

 

[nunnc84]

You could name her Cornbread to go with Chili

For real though, some suggestions:
Celeste
Cocoa or CoCo
Caramel
Curry, Cumin
Cookie
Coffee
I might or might not be hungry

Koko for sure! Gizmo? Show us pictures

 

[ans5181]

Koko for sure! Gizmo? Show us pictures

Scroll up, she posted three of her looking super cute