Starting over while still grieving (and anxious)

misty8723

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I apologize for not reading all the posts in this thread, but as someone who suffers from anxiety, are you or have you considered taking medication for it? I take a low dose of buproprion. It doesn't perfectly overcome my anxiety, but it does help enough to be manageable. I'm looking forward to seeing your babies.
 
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WebDragon

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Hi Misty, thanks for the suggestion about medication. I haven't been prescribed any, but have been in therapy about 7 months or so. Medication is something I've considered in the past, but an appointment with a psychiatrist turned out to be a negative experience and that steered me towards therapy instead. Basically my anxiety isn't constant - it gets severe and pretty much rules my life for a few weeks during periods of major change. Losing my previous cat Loki was such a traumatic experience for both my husband and I that I was determined not to let anxiety take the reigns from me ever again. I thought therapy had helped a lot... until now. The setback might be a reason to consider meds, or could just mean I need more therapy, or could mean that having new kitties in my life will help me work through some issues on my own.
In any case, I'm glad that medication helps you. It really is a mysterious struggle and whatever helps is worth celebrating!
 

CindyH66

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aw, webdragon this is a difficult position to navigate. I have a sibling who suffers from anxiety, OCD and depression. He has been on meds and in therapy for years. His kitty died 2 yrs ago and he still struggles with getting another one ! I think the fear of the pain of another loss is what is stopping him. (?) For what it is worth .. he comes over and plays with our peanut. the love and attention she has shown him , has convinced him ..he wants another kitty , too ! I dont think he realized how much it meant to him until peanut started showing it to him again. Sometimes he comes over at night...JUST to say goodnight to her ! One night he said " I am going to kidnap her , and you and your hubby will just have to go adopt another kitty !!" ( kidding of course) its amazing the joy and healing this little girl has brought to all of us ! I found a magnet for him for his fridge that said .. " everything you want is on the other side of fear":goldstar: .. pretty good food for thought ! He is looking every day at our local shelter for another kitty he would like. :heartshape:I will take him to get it when he finds the one that he decides he wants. I suspect, it will be much like Peanut LOL ... hang in there ...you are almost there !! we are here for ya !!
 

misty8723

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Hi Misty, thanks for the suggestion about medication. I haven't been prescribed any, but have been in therapy about 7 months or so. Medication is something I've considered in the past, but an appointment with a psychiatrist turned out to be a negative experience and that steered me towards therapy instead. Basically my anxiety isn't constant - it gets severe and pretty much rules my life for a few weeks during periods of major change. Losing my previous cat Loki was such a traumatic experience for both my husband and I that I was determined not to let anxiety take the reigns from me ever again. I thought therapy had helped a lot... until now. The setback might be a reason to consider meds, or could just mean I need more therapy, or could mean that having new kitties in my life will help me work through some issues on my own.
In any case, I'm glad that medication helps you. It really is a mysterious struggle and whatever helps is worth celebrating!
Therapy was never any use to me, but I'm glad it's helping you. Nor were psychiatrists, I had some meds from them that helped a lot but had some nasty side effects and were a bear to get off. I got my current script from my PCP many years ago, it's good enough, but extremely stressful situations will still kick in on. The meds just help tone it down a bit and help me not dwell on the sad thoughts that will do me in. My husband says losing our cat Cynthia who was his heart kitty was harder on him than when his mother died, and losing my heart kitty Swanie so suddenly devastated me, especially since I failed him and will never forgive myself for it. Anyway, I hope you have a lot of happy times with your new kitties, they really do help. (Austin is up on the table with me purring and bumping foreheads)
 
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WebDragon

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Cindy and Misty your stories are both so sad and happy at the same time. I can definitely sympathize with the things you and your family members have felt. Cindy your sibling must be so appreciative of you and Peanut helping him to bridge the gap of grief. And Misty I've heard from elsewhere too that losing a pet can hurt worse than losing a parent, which seems strange on face but I totally get it. I do hope that once my kitties are home it will wash all of the doubt and anxiety away, but I suspect that every time they need to go to the vet, especially for something not planned, I will have my heart in my throat. My dearly departed Loki rolled through a lot of medical setbacks in life with no troubles, and I never really worried about her, until of course her last few weeks.

We pick up the little ones first thing tomorrow morning, and I've still got rearranging and kitten-proofing to do. My office is their 'safe room', and it's so odd sitting here knowing that in a few hours I will be in the same place with two new lives to hold in my hands. I don't know if I could ever feel like I was truly ready, and tonight is probably going to be a long and sleepless one. But I'm sure the anxiety will fade in time as it has done before. I'll be sure to nab some pictures, and again I'm grateful to you all for your stories and encouragement.
 

denice

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How exciting. Kittens are so much fun. This last time I adopted an adult because I am in my mid-sixties and I have to think about the increased chances of a kitten outliving me. I think Charlotte is a young adult and when I took her in for her first check at the vet clinic that I take my cats to the vet thought that she was young as well.
 
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WebDragon

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The kitties have been home for almost a week now, and have just been delightful. They're wonderful with each other and have been using the litter box, vacuuming up their canned food, and being adorable. I'm relieved they are adjusting so well; their foster home did wonders for them. I'm also trying some new techniques from my therapist to help address the few pangs of nervousness I still get, but fortunately as the days pass, the anxiety is quickly receding and I finally can get to the part where I really enjoy having these precious little critters around!

Thank you all again for your sound advice and support. Here are the sweets!
IMG_9831.JPG
 

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Oh my goodness they are adorable. It looks like they are making a heart cuddling like that. Yes we need names:agree:
 
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WebDragon

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They are each others' best friends, and I'm so glad they are helping each other adjust and thrive. My husband and I knew from the start that we couldn't break them up - it was either adopt them both, or adopt a different single cat. Someone else had contacted the rescue organization after we had, interested in adopting one but not both. So we felt that much better about taking them both home :)

Not settled on names just yet... we're pondering options that will be different enough that the cats won't get confused, suits each of their personalities, but also sound good as a pair. Lots of choices fortunately! We'll know the right fit when we hit upon it...
 
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WebDragon

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Names decided! The little gray one is Luna, and her older "sister" is Nyx. The fact that they already had celestial-themed collars is a nice coincidence :D
 
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WebDragon

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Kitties have been home for about three weeks now, and they've been a happy handful. I'm glad that they're getting my husband's watchful eye all day, as he's still working from home for now.

Little Luna may have a urinary tract issue - she was frequently hopping in and out of the boxes last night, passing only a few drops at a time, which looked like they may have had blood. But this morning she seems fine, eating and drinking and playing with her normal appetite and energy. She pooped and is passing urine maybe a little more frequently and with a little less volume. This all resulted in a pretty terrible night for me as I couldn't sleep, weighing whether to rush her over to the veterinary ER about half an hour away or wait to see if I could get an appointment at a vet's office this morning. My vet of choice is booked three weeks out, but I could probably get her in at another office. But now that she seems better, I'm wondering if I shouldn't put her through the stress of a visit? Anxiety is back in full force and I have a feeling it's not going to go away regardless of what I do - but I want to do what's best for her. Since I haven't had the new kittens that long, it's tough to say what's abnormal behavior for them.

I don't have kids, but I'm sure this is what my parents felt like when my brother and I were little, having to run us in to the ER for earaches and such while still needing to hold things down at work the next day. My nerves feel so frayed! When my former cat Loki was a kitten she had several bouts with UTIs and I don't remember worrying all that much. She just visited the litter box, so I'm going to scoop the results and make a decision from there...
 
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