Someone tell me my cat will be fine.

[hannahe01]

Hey all. So I’ve had quite a year of mental health catastrophe. Ever since covid my anxiety/PTSD has been through the roof and my depression has worsened. I’m in a bad way and I have decided to get treatment and help but it’s going to be a long road to recovering fully.

My 2 year old cat will be staying with my mom for a few months. Or possibly indefinitely. It just depends on how things are going and where I end up. My mom offered to take him in, he knows my mom and brother, he’s been to her house many different times (given this was about a year ago but still) I actually lived with her when I first got him as a kitten and he’s been around her pets each time he stayed with her in 2019/2020. I feel better knowing he’s going somewhere somewhat familiar with people he knows. He will have all his favorite things with him too, But I’m still so nervous. He has anxiety already so I am praying this doesn’t make it worse. I fear that he will act out/be aggressive/ possibly stop eating. My mom has had cats all her life and has had one very similar to mine with behavior and she’s telling me he will be fine and I have nothing to worry about. But I am so scared and worried that this will make him feel so sad and abandoned. The guilt is incredibly strong. Is he going to be okay? I can’t stop crying.

 

[game misconduct]

he will be ok focus on yourself first

 

[ArtNJ]

It sounds like the best thing for your kitty right now.

There could be a bit of an adjustment, you know that. So I'm not going to say it will be fine just to help you when you know that isn't automatically true -- but there is no reason to think it will be an especially hard adjustment either. No reason to assume the worst. Just work on getting yourself better, and then in the unlikely event the cat is having a tough time, you'll be able to the help.

 

[hannahe01]

Also I can visit anytime because it’s my mom, so I was thinking for the first week or two maybe visiting once a day or every two days to help him ease into his situation but I’m not sure if that would make it worse for him or easier :/

 

[calicosrspecial]

Hey all. So I’ve had quite a year of mental health catastrophe. Ever since covid my anxiety/PTSD has been through the roof and my depression has worsened. I’m in a bad way and I have decided to get treatment and help but it’s going to be a long road to recovering fully.

My 2 year old cat will be staying with my mom for a few months. Or possibly indefinitely. It just depends on how things are going and where I end up. My mom offered to take him in, he knows my mom and brother, he’s been to her house many different times (given this was about a year ago but still) I actually lived with her when I first got him as a kitten and he’s been around her pets each time he stayed with her in 2019/2020. I feel better knowing he’s going somewhere somewhat familiar with people he knows. He will have all his favorite things with him too, But I’m still so nervous. He has anxiety already so I am praying this doesn’t make it worse. I fear that he will act out/be aggressive/ possibly stop eating. My mom has had cats all her life and has had one very similar to mine with behavior and she’s telling me he will be fine and I have nothing to worry about. But I am so scared and worried that this will make him feel so sad and abandoned. The guilt is incredibly strong. Is he going to be okay? I can’t stop crying.

Hi,

He is going to be fine. And if there are any issues please have your mom post her and ask for many of us and we will help make sure he will be fine.

I know he wants you to get better, to feel better so that you both can be reunited full time. During your treatment hopefully you can see him and get positive vibes from him.

This Covid/lockdown etc has been so hard for many of us. And so many of us battled depression before this. I am just so happy you are seeking help. That is the best step to take. I am proud of you!!!

So please do not worry about your kitty,. There is NO REASON to feel guilty as you are doing the absolute best thing for you and him. You obviously love him and I know that he loves you. He will do well and if we can help your mom in any way please have her reach out to any of us either through a new post, this post, or a message.

I think you can visit him any time you want and as often as you want. I would not worry at all about seeing him too much or too little. Just do what you want. I am sure he will love to see you and you will make his day better.

I am so proud of you for seeking out treatment. Please hang in there and I hope you come back to the site in the future. Get well soon.

We are always her for you anytime.

P.S. - Sometimes we don't all get updates for a thread we are watching so if someone doesn't respond just send a direct message and let us know there is a new post so we are aware. I think you will find the people posting on this site are wonderful and help to the best of their ability.

 

[gilmargl]

Try not to worry - it won't help either you or your cat. I was worried about the effects of introducing a new cat (4 years old, whose owner was no longer able to look after her) to my 4, considerably older cats. That was exactly 2 weeks ago and now they are all free to roam the house and interact. The newbie, who was exceedingly underweight, is no longer just fur and bone, and each of my cats is doing what she always did. I have had no hissing and spitting under my bed at night to keep me awake and, even the very shy and not-well socialised 14-year old, who makes a detour around any cat, and who I expected to hide in a bedroom cupboard, is hanging out in the living room with the rest of them. Sometimes things do turn out far better than expected, and I hope that this is the case for you.

As your mother is an experienced cat-owner and willing to look after your cat, I'm confident she will manage and your cat will soon settle down. It's now time for you to look after yourself. If it's going to upset you, I would not visit your mother too soon - give the cat a few days to settle down. He may think you are going to take him home, in which case he will take longer to feel comfortable with your mother. But, once he's settled down - visit as often as you like.

Good luck and get well soon!

 

[ArtNJ]

Also I can visit anytime because it’s my mom, so I was thinking for the first week or two maybe visiting once a day or every two days to help him ease into his situation but I’m not sure if that would make it worse for him or easier :/

I think its a good idea to visit as long as you are mentally prepared for him to possibly be a little bit extra stressed. Also, you need to understand that if he is stressed, you may not be able to physically comfort him. One can't physically comfort a stressed cat or they might lash out even at their favorite human. They need time and space. And he might be a little stressed for a bit. But thats ok, millions of people move or add kitties. Sometimes that causes their cats some stress for a bit, but its a temporary thing. From everything you said, no reason to expect it to be bad or lengthy.

I just don't want you to go there, see him being extra stressed and not be able to comfort him, and have that devastate you. Because these things take time.

 

[Tik cat's mum]

It sounds like your mum knows exactly how to care for your cat. So don't worry, you are doing the right thing for your cat and you. Look after yourself, like you said you can visit as often as you like. You'll see it will be fine.

 

[hannahe01]

I think its a good idea to visit as long as you are mentally prepared for him to possibly be a little bit extra stressed. Also, you need to understand that if he is stressed, you may not be able to physically comfort him. One can't physically comfort a stressed cat or they might lash out even at their favorite human. They need time and space. And he might be a little stressed for a bit. But thats ok, millions of people move or add kitties. Sometimes that causes their cats some stress for a bit, but its a temporary thing. From everything you said, no reason to expect it to be bad or lengthy.

I just don't want you to go there, see him being extra stressed and not be able to comfort him, and have that devastate you. Because these things take time.

Do you think it would be best to wait a few days or even a week to go over and visit then? I don’t want to make anything worse. I’m already giving him a little gabapentin beforehand because he gets nervous in the car and I figure it can’t hurt.

 

[hannahe01]

Try not to worry - it won't help either you or your cat. I was worried about the effects of introducing a new cat (4 years old, whose owner was no longer able to look after her) to my 4, considerably older cats. That was exactly 2 weeks ago and now they are all free to roam the house and interact. The newbie, who was exceedingly underweight, is no longer just fur and bone, and each of my cats is doing what she always did. I have had no hissing and spitting under my bed at night to keep me awake and, even the very shy and not-well socialised 14-year old, who makes a detour around any cat, and who I expected to hide in a bedroom cupboard, is hanging out in the living room with the rest of them. Sometimes things do turn out far better than expected, and I hope that this is the case for you.

As your mother is an experienced cat-owner and willing to look after your cat, I'm confident she will manage and your cat will soon settle down. It's now time for you to look after yourself. If it's going to upset you, I would not visit your mother too soon - give the cat a few days to settle down. He may think you are going to take him home, in which case he will take longer to feel comfortable with your mother. But, once he's settled down - visit as often as you like.

Good luck and get well soon!

Thank you! If he had to go somewhere I’d want it to be with people he at least is familiar with. And I trust my mom. I kept asking her “what if he does this or what if this happens” and she’s like “I’ll take care of it then focus on you.” It’s just so hard. It’s gonna be so hard for me to do this and I will probably be extremely sad for weeks. But I know it’s for the best in the long run. I do plan on giving him a little gabapentin beforehand for the car ride over and that way hopefully his stress is a bit more minimized..

 

[ArtNJ]

Do you think it would be best to wait a few days or even a week to go over and visit then? I don’t want to make anything worse. I’m already giving him a little gabapentin beforehand because he gets nervous in the car and I figure it can’t hurt.

Probably a good idea to wait. That said, you won't make anything worse as long as you don't have any expectations that your going to go there and cuddle your cat. You might be able too, if things are going well. But a cat that has even a moderate level of stress can feel like they have to be on guard duty, and doesn't want attention from their humans. Although even then, you might be able to lure your cat into a room and close the door, which might relax the cat enough to enjoy some petting. The big thing is that you can't go if a little normal no biggy adjustment stress is going to stress YOU, if that makes sense.

Why not give it a few days and see what mom has to say?