Socializing feral older kitten - is it time to stop?

LisaBLee

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Hi everyone,

I’ve been fostering cats for several years, including sick kittens, feral cats and kittens, dumped cats, etc. My rescue considers me to be a good socializer of feral cats and kittens. Many times I get cats and kittens that other fosters are overwhelmed or scared of. Most recently they asked me if I could take a ten week old kitten that was with another foster but she works long hours and he bit her. I already had three feral kittens, 12 weeks but they were moving along okay. When I first got him I though right away, this kitten is 4 months, not 10 weeks. Fast forward, it’s been a month and I don’t see any real progress. He never played in his former foster home but he does play here quite a bit with the strings, wands, mice, but along with playing swipes, low growls and generally does not want any touching.I’ve gotten a few pets in while giving him treats, but he will stand firm and not come out to eat until I step at least a few feet away. I have him in a crate and usually will let out once a cat starts accepting pets whether at meals or other. I’ve let the other kittens enter his crate, but he is aggressive with them so I can’t let him out with them unsupervised because he’s bigger than them. I never like to give up, but he is an older kitten. His former foster would purrito him and that’s when he would bite. I thought perhaps forcing that may have made him distrustful of hands and humans. He generally seems happy, but I hate having him crated so long without seeing progress. He hisses at me with every interaction without fail. I joke that he’s working on becoming a barn cat, but at what point are we forcing something to happen. I tend to be a foster who fosters quite a few cats and finds good homes quickly so I also worry that I’m holding up a space for other cats and kittens. Do I keep trying every day or do I start asking my Rescue to think of other options. I’ve socialized feral adult cats and other kittens his age, but he’s giving me a run for my money. He’s about 5 months and absolutely cute. Has anyone else been in this position?
 

Furballsmom

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I thought perhaps forcing that may have made him distrustful of hands and humans.
You're possibly correct, although he's grouchy with other cats too... Have you tried stroking him with a long stick with a sock on the end of it, to get him used to the sensation? Do you sit on the floor and read to him now and then?
Has he been checked by a vet to ensure he's healthy and not in pain from something not visible?
 
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LisaBLee

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Thank you for replying! He actually likes other cats but he was found alone so he doesn’t know how to play, which is expected. If I had older kittens it might be fine to let them play, but the younger ones seem to not fight back when he tries rough housing. I don’t see him trying to hurt them, he just doesn’t know better and cats usually will teach other but these guys are smaller and let him bite bite them without resisting.
I’ve tried different wands daily. Sometimes he seems fine and closes his eyes and leans into it and other times he’ll sit and take it but he’s licking his lips the whole time and just waiting for it to end.
I sit both quietly or read and he’s fine with me around. If I get too close he’ll run into his cubby.
He was neutered last week and noted as being healthy.
 
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LisaBLee

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This makes me think he just needs more time and loving patience 💗
I agree, although this week after surgery he hasn’t wanted any attempts at touching and has swatted everytime I approach with the wand. Ive had shy kitties here for almost a year so I’m not too worried about time, I guess I just don’t want to be forcing something he hates. And how long do I keep him in the crate? Usually cats start approaching me whether for food or treats or affection, or just really enjoying playing or the wand and he hasn’t shown any of this. I will keep trying though and give him more time!
 

Jesse James

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I agree with furballsmom - I think he just needs more time. 4 months isn't too old to socialize a kitten - I'm certain he'll come around if you keep spending time with him, talking to him and sneeking pets when you can. (Tip I learned somewhere - when you want to touch him, don't approach his face directly with your hand - it scares them to see a hand coming at them. Go around to his side or neck for a quick stroke.) He's been through a lot lately with moving to a new space, being neutered, etc. He's just scared - he'll come around.
 

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I've never heard of kittens (under 6 months give or take) actually hurting each notwithstanding how growly hissy or swatty they are. Which is not to say it is impossible, but it is very unlikely. So if this cat is now 5 months old, the "golden hour" is running out. So if it were me, I'd realy like to see if time together with other kittens could do the trick. Of course, you'd have to watch closely at first and make sure there won't be a true fight -- but that is very unlikely.

Just my two cents, but backed by the knowlege that kittens almost never actually hurt each other no matter what it sounds like. I've literally never seen a post here about a kitten giving another kitten a bite wound.
 
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LisaBLee

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I agree with furballsmom - I think he just needs more time. 4 months isn't too old to socialize a kitten - I'm certain he'll come around if you keep spending time with him, talking to him and sneeking pets when you can. (Tip I learned somewhere - when you want to touch him, don't approach his face directly with your hand - it scares them to see a hand coming at them. Go around to his side or neck for a quick stroke.) He's been through a lot lately with moving to a new space, being neutered, etc. He's just scared - he'll come around.
Thank you! I always try to sneak pets in when he’s relaxed from the back. He’s been my toughest “young” cat to socialize and I don’t mind giving him more time and patience and just want to make sure he’s no miserable about it.
 
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LisaBLee

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I've never heard of kittens (under 6 months give or take) actually hurting each notwithstanding how growly hissy or swatty they are. Which is not to say it is impossible, but it is very unlikely. So if this cat is now 5 months old, the "golden hour" is running out. So if it were me, I'd realy like to see if time together with other kittens could do the trick. Of course, you'd have to watch closely at first and make sure there won't be a true fight -- but that is very unlikely.

Just my two cents, but backed by the knowlege that kittens almost never actually hurt each other no matter what it sounds like. I've literally never seen a post here about a kitten giving another kitten a bite wound.
He definitely loves the two kittens and i get them to all play together. They don’t put up a fight when he bites and mounts them. I’ll hear a yelp and will shake a toy to distract him and then the kittens run away so he’s getting his playtime with them in. He must have known I was writing about him because today he’s been much more receptive to me being near him and not running away and hiding, so I’ll take that as progress.
And thanks to everyone’s feedback here. I hear so many people say after 3 months people should TNR and I like to try and give a chance to older kittens and usually have had amazing outcomes. I think I was doubting myself and socialization, but feel renewed to make this happen. Thank you!
 

Furballsmom

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And how long do I keep him in the crate?
He must have known I was writing about him because today he’s been much more receptive to me being near him and not running away and hiding, so I’ll take that as progress.
lol, bless his little heart - I think he'll let you know when crate time is no longer necessary :heartshape:
 

Jesse James

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Sounds like you're on the right track - keep at it. The mounting bit with the kittens will lessen once his hormones subside after his surgery - takes a while. Could be he doesn't like other cats in his "space" - which is his crate. Can you let him out of his crate to mingle with the other kittens on neutral territory? I agree, it's not likely he'll hurt them. You should watch anyway, just to make sure.
 
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LisaBLee

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Yes, I let him out of his crate and now he’s playing with his two foster siblings. He definitely seems happier to be able to pounce and play and run, but may take a little longer to be comfortable with me now that he has his friends! 😂 thank you all for the support and guidance! Here they are waiting for a late night snack ❤
 

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