Socializing Feral Kittens - Is Feeling Like There Is No Hope Is Par For The Course?

[kar5318]

I'm a newbie here. But after reading everything I could find on Google for the last week about TNR and socializing feral kittens, I wound up here, and it looks to be a great resource!

I've read a number of the threads here, but I still think to an extent my question is unanswered.

I rescued 3 feral kittens from my backyard 1 week ago. They are around 7-8 weeks in my estimation, and despite how many times I keep seeing things like "They can totally be socialized!" or "Oh no that's not too old!" and "You'll be fine, they always act scared at first" I legitimately feel like there is no way these terrified kittens could turn into social pets. It seems like everyone must be lying to me!

So here's my question: Does everyone feel this way when you're just starting the socialization process? That progress is soooo slow that socialization can't possibly work? That there is no possible way these kittens can make such a drastic transformation.

I've just been feeling so discouraged lately, so I'd love any empathy or encouraging words to know I'm not alone! Thanks All!

I can provide more background if anyone is curious.

 

[Kieka]

I would age them at 3 maybe up to 4 months personally. Yes, it is tough to socialize ferals and it does feel like a never ending road. You have triple trouble because they will continue to mime each other. So they may socialize better if you separate them at times. Before you know it though they will be socialized and you'll look back and wonder why you thought it was so hard.

My little Rocket came to me feral at 4 months old. This was her first day with us. She was post bath and pretty sure in shock at what was happening in this photo:

IMG_5253.JPG

• Kieka
• Dec 1, 2016

Totally 100% zero human contact for the first four months of her life. You can't see in this photo but I was scratched up from grabbing her and washing her. She finally gave up on fighting us as she dried and after this photo went back to hissing and growling until she saw my boy, Link. She only relaxed with my other two around for the first month. She still, two years later, has moments when you can tell her start in life. My vet called her an armpit cat at her annual exam last week because she froze and hid in my arm the entire time. My Dad and niece still can't pet her on a regular basis. But with me and my Mom she is an absolute doll and cuddles nonstop. It took me six months of dedication and work but she comes when called and has a routine. Which includes trying to convince me to stay home every morning, lol.

You can do this.

 

[tabbytom]

Hello kar5318 , on behalf of The Catsite community, I warmly welcome you to TCS

I'm tabbytom and I'm a Mentor here in Catsite. Feel free to ask questions if you have any in regards to getting around the site. I'm here to help


Here are some articles to read to help you get started with the site.

New Here? I Have A Few Suggestions For You!
Forum Rules
Community Guidelines & Practices - Frequently Asked Questions
How To Add A Picture To Your Forum Post

Do check out the informative forum threads and also the many good reads in the Articles section too.

And lastly, do introduce yourself and your kitty to the community in New Cats on the Block and do post photos of your kitty for us to see

 

[Sarthur2]

It is a process that takes time and patience. One week is not long at all.

Buy a couple of Feliway plug-in diffusers and put them in the room. Play soft classical music on a radio.

Sit on the floor and use a wand toy to play with the kittens. They will get to know you, learn your smell, learn that you feed them, and slowly begin to build trust and lose their fear.

Remember, Rome was not built in a day!

 

[tabbytom]

I'm a newbie here. But after reading everything I could find on Google for the last week about TNR and socializing feral kittens, I wound up here, and it looks to be a great resource!

I've read a number of the threads here, but I still think to an extent my question is unanswered.

I rescued 3 feral kittens from my backyard 1 week ago. They are around 7-8 weeks in my estimation, and despite how many times I keep seeing things like "They can totally be socialized!" or "Oh no that's not too old!" and "You'll be fine, they always act scared at first" I legitimately feel like there is no way these terrified kittens could turn into social pets. It seems like everyone must be lying to me!

So here's my question: Does everyone feel this way when you're just starting the socialization process? That progress is soooo slow that socialization can't possibly work? That there is no possible way these kittens can make such a drastic transformation.

I've just been feeling so discouraged lately, so I'd love any empathy or encouraging words to know I'm not alone! Thanks All!

I can provide more background if anyone is curious.

Hi kar5318 , yes, what you read was true and I don't think you are being lied too. Socializing ferals takes time. Some sooner and some longer. It takes both parties, humans and cats to do their parts.

There are success stories on socializing ferals and the important ingredients to it is love, patience and routine. Yes, it's a slow process and sometimes slow progress. You are talking about ferals here and sometimes strays or even those who does adoptions face the same problems socializing their new kitties who are not even ferals.

Here are some members who had quite a success on socializing them :-
Socializing 3 Kittens - Need Advice!
Meet Cupcake - A Stray Success
meet Buggy
Socializing Ferals
Week2! Some Progress :-)
Socializing my feral Panda Bear - advice and encouragement?

Some of the threads are pretty long and that shows how long it takes for certain cats to be socialized. Do not give up and feel free to ask questions and we'll try our best to help you answer them

 

[msaimee]

I have successfully socialized 3 feral cats to be indoor pets and they were aged 4-10 months old when I took them in. Two of them are very affectionate, one is not, but she has arthritis and had a hard life prior to my rescuing her. Also, they are afraid of other people, so they are only fully socialized to me. However, they are very happy and I enjoy them very much. It usually takes at least a few months to fully domesticate a feral kitten. One week is not long at all. It requires a lot of patience, but is well worth the effort. You are giving these kittens a wonderful happy life as opposed to the difficult hardships they would have faced outside. I don't know if you live in a state that gets cold during winter, but if you do, I can promise that when you see the first snowfall, you will hold those two kittens close to your heart and be thankful for the time and energy you are putting into them right now, because they will be safe and warm and well cared for. What I have found to be very helpful in the taming process is play therapy. Try to engage them with a laser pointer and wand toys. Do this several times a day. Also provide catnip toys. Kittens love to play, and once they start to have fun with you, they will start to trust you. Good luck, and keep us posted.

 

[kar5318]

Thanks Everyone, I know it is still early so I will give it some time.

Initially I was planning to TNR these kids as I did with the Mama, but after I caught them, a few people were like "They're babies! They can totally be tamed". Of course I want to give them a chance at a loving home. Though it feels a bit like I got more than I bargined for! I do not plan to keep them, I am just socializing so they can be adopted. Hopefully that is possible at this age. I do plan to bring around other humans perhaps once I can pick them up.

I was able to play with them with a string toy today, and pet their heads while they ear, so that is a big step from Day 1 when they wouldn't leave the trap.

 

[tabbytom]

Thanks Everyone, I know it is still early so I will give it some time.

Initially I was planning to TNR these kids as I did with the Mama, but after I caught them, a few people were like "They're babies! They can totally be tamed". Of course I want to give them a chance at a loving home. Though it feels a bit like I got more than I bargined for! I do not plan to keep them, I am just socializing so they can be adopted. Hopefully that is possible at this age. I do plan to bring around other humans perhaps once I can pick them up.

I was able to play with them with a string toy today, and pet their heads while they ear, so that is a big step from Day 1 when they wouldn't leave the trap.

Good job, taking them off the streets and getting them adopted is the best for them

 

[msaimee]

Yes, being able to pet their heads and play with them is a big step That is very good progress in a week.

 

[di and bob]

I have had cats take SEVERAL months to get used to human touch, but once they accept you it goes much quicker. Cats are much more in tune with wild instincts than dogs are, that is why they can survive independently where dogs couldn't. They fight being dependent because it means giving up this survival skill, and it goes against their instincts. Humans are one of their worst enemies, so like getting over any phobia or instinct, it takes a lot of time and patience. You can never completely get rid of it because it is a part of every cat, but they can be socialized and get along with human companions.
A week is nothing in a cat's world. Touching their head, even if they suddenly realize what is going on and panic, is a huge step forward. accepting human touch is the first step. No sudden movements, no staring into their eyes, and no loud noises. Good treats are a bonding agent, it brings good feelings and trust. Just sit quietly nearby and let them get used to you, have a play wand handy for enticing them to play. Once they trust you not to harm them, things will progress nicely, they are young enough not to have been traumatized by humans and learn new ways.
Bless you for taking them in, you have literally saved them from a life of pain and starvation. Things will work out and you have a good start just by having them in your house. It's always scary when we look into the future too much and think things will not work out, be confident they will learn to love you and take you into their hearts, I am. Time is your friend.

 

[bigbadbass]

kar5318-
My months long ordeal with 3 year old Bug was so difficult (for him and I), stressed and demoralized at one point, I actually contemplated releasing him. What a mistake that would have been....*much* patience paid off. He's a mush now, got no interest in leaving "Club Med" for cats.

Plenty of good, specific advise from advisors/members here guided me through... you must give plenty of time, stick with it.

 

[kittychick]

I'm usually a "super long answerer" (as everyone who reads any of my postings knows ) ---but I'm frantically busy with a work project so will chime in a bit now -- - and write more later.

Socializing kittens is definitely a "process" - - -and yes, as tabbytom said, everything you read was right. As in - - sometimes it's quick, sometimes it's not-so-quick, and sometimes it's just plain hard. Because, like people, every kitten is different. The big thing I always try to remember - - - remind yourself that they're alive (unlike the vast majority of feral kittens that don't survive) because Momma cat taught them to be afraid (and it sounds like she did a good job!). So that fear response is what's kept them alive - just remember that when you get frustrated by a hiss or a scratch. That's why they're still here!

And yes - a week is a VERY short time in the "socialization world." Some kittens warm up quickly = some take alot longer. The key is truly patience. And time. Time in general...and time that you spend working with them. I'll write more for you later tonight about our "process" my husband and I use, and our "success stories." I'll post a pic or two that will hopefully make you laugh - and encourage you!!!!

You've definitely saved three lives. And it's WONDERFUL you TNR'd Momma too - - or she'd be working on her next 2 or 3 litter for the year very shortly. So bless you for preventing more unwanted kittens. And thank you for bringing these three adorable babies in - -- socialization isn't always easy - - but I can tell you - - it's ALWAYS worth it

Please don't hesitate to use this site - and this forum - - because there are TONS for people on here willing to answer any question (and none is too goofy to ask - - - so ask away!) - - -and almost everyone here has also gone through major frustration at times - - so everyone has shoulders to lend to lean on This site and its wonderful memories has often saved my sanity!

Good luck - - -and PLEASE keep us posted!

 

[kar5318]

The big thing I always try to remember - - - remind yourself that they're alive (unlike the vast majority of feral kittens that don't survive) because Momma cat taught them to be afraid (and it sounds like she did a good job!). So that fear response is what's kept them alive - just remember that when you get frustrated by a hiss or a scratch. That's why they're still here!

Thanks kittychick , that's a really helpful way to think about it. I look forward to hearing your stories.

I'm continuing to work with them, I tried to get them to eat off my lap this evening but that was mostly unsuccessful. I was being bold with my socialization steps it seems. I settled for them eating in front of me and aggressive petting.

I'll keep everyone updated, I will be out of town next week unfournately, so our cat sitter will be check-in in on them, but I'm anticipating a slow in progress since they won't get as much attention as I'm giving.

 

[kittychick]

I'll relay more soon - but glad a little bit of what I said helped!

That's really quick to get them to eat off of your lap - so don't let that discourage you. If it helps you as far as that - - - I've got two quick stories (well, long ones that I"ll shorten here a bit). One was a very feral kitten we TNR'd named "Flick" (she's a tiny little beautiful solid grey with a little "flick" of white - almost in a heart shape - on her chest), and the other involves several we TNR'd almost 2 years ago. Flick had been hanging basically in our yard (we have a feeding station and several insulated houses with heated mats)....but my husband said "Don't even think about her coming inside - we already have 5 inside!" IN a few months she started following him around the yard whenever he did yard work. He started tossing her bits of ham to her. She loved the ham, but wouldn't come closer than 5 feet to him. Cut to a few months later - he put a little pink kitty bed on our back step. She started sleeping in it, and he started sitting on that step next to her a few times a day - giving her little pieces of ham. I started doing it too....and one day, she suddenly climbed into my lap to eat her ham treat. But the main reason I'm relaying this (and it's definitely a "Cliff Notes" version) - - - that process took something like 6 months! But now she's a completely inside kitty, and probably the sweetest cat I've ever known (and I've had quite a few!). I attached a pic of Flick in our yard while still very feral...and a pic of the very thankful to be inside, very loving current Flick.

Fast forward to now - - - we've got 4 ferals that we TNR'd within weeks of each other (there were 5 till we lost one a few weeks ago) almost two years ago. One we could could pet fairly quickly (I think she might have had a tiny bit of handling as a very small kitten)....but the other three wouldn't come closer than 5 feet (our vet calls those kind of kitties "Five Foot Cats" - which made us laugh). And just a few months ago - - the other three started letting us pet them. And last week, they all started letting me brush them! But talk about a process - almost two years!

So I guess that's my way of reiterating through personal story - - -every cat/kitten goes at their own pace. And they all end up each "being their own cat" -- - some (like Flick) actually turn into lap cats - - - some you have to be happy just petting them, and some you just have to be happy to catch a glimpse of them at times when then come out from under the bed I don't say this to discourage you - - - - but to remember they all socialize at their own rate, and they all end up being "the cat they're supposed to be." Sometimes you just have to be happy with the reward of knowing that you saved their lives!!!!

And it's smart to recognize that there may be a bit of "back sliding" while you're gone. Everyone who works alot with ferals knows it's alot of steps forward...and then steps back. And a big part of how they learn to trust is time spent with them....and repetition. So - particularly at the beginning - changes in routine - and "strange" people coming in is a little scary for them. But don't worry - - -they WILL remember you (unless you come back in a funny nose and glasses ) and eventually they'll forget you were ever gone! But I'm glad you're already to understand - and accept - what might make a difference with them. THat's a big key!

Have a good trip (hopefully something fun!)....and keep us posted on how things go once you return!

 

[kar5318]

It's been 3 weeks since I trapped the kittens (as of last night) and I was out of town for 10 days in the middle (so 3 days since I got back from vacation).

Our cat-sitters did great, she was a lot more hands on than I expected, and did continue to pet them when she fed them. When I got back they had backslid (or forgot me?) a little. If I reached for them while they ate they'd move away, but I've instituted some "tough love" since Sunday and only let them eat when I'm sitting on the ground holding them against my chest and holding the food bowl in my other hand. They're doing OK and seem to slowly be getting more OK with this. I've also been trying to pick them up (while sitting, again) for short periods of time when I don't have food and 2/3 do OK, though I can't hold them for more than a few seconds before they squirm away.

Any tips for my next steps moving forward? I'm trying to work with a rescue/foster group here in Houston and I'm supposed to bring the kittens to a Petco location to be "evaluated" this Sunday to determine if they will be accepted into the program. They supposedly don't have to be ready-to-go right now, but I cant get them de-wormed/flea treated/vetted/spayed until after this "evaluation". (I have other cats, so I'd like to get this done soon!) The group has been surprisingly difficult to work with (really confusing and contradictory information) and I'm afraid that they will tell me they can't be accepted or that I won't be able to actually get the kittens out of a carrier since they're not at the stage where you can just reach and grab one without fear.

Also, the women I spoke with told me I should give them "kitten massages" that they will find irresistible and will keep them coming back... but I googled this and clearly this must be her own term for it, because it doesn't seem to be a universal thing. I assume she just means like rubbing around their ears/using both hands/etc.

 

[Sarthur2]

You might want to call other no-kill rescues and see what they can do for you. This deal sounds like it may not work out, and you need other options.