So Upset And Angry About The Way My Kitty Died

[ClevelandsMom]

I put my kitty Cleveland to sleep last week on the advice of my vet. He was 16 and a half, had heart failure, paralysis in his hind legs, and apparently a tumor on his spleen when he died.

I was sad when he passed, but I was basically okay with it , as he lived a long time for a cat and had a fairly cushy life.

But one thing kept bugging me: he was basically okay until I took him to the vet in January to have his matted hair shaved. He was also given a distemper shot at that time on advice of my vet. He was a bit slow because he had arthritis in one leg, and he had a skin disease that made his back super-sensitive, but other than that, he was fine. He had a good appetite and never peed on himself or anything like that. His sister is the same age and has zero health issues.

After the vet visit in January, his strength declined rapidly. The day before the vet visit, he could climb on and off my bed as per usual. After the visit, he couldn’t climb on the bed without cat steps. His heart began to pump rapidly, he gagged a few times, and he peed himself. His hind legs would seem intermittently paralyzed. All of these symptoms unfortunately I put down to age or arthritis or trying to cough up a hairball.

But after he died, it finally occurred to me to research the side effects of distemper shots. I found that Cleveland’s rapid health decline and symptoms were all well-known symptoms of a bad reaction to a distemper shot. Distemper shots can also cause rapid-onset tumors. Moreover, I found that many vets don’t recommend vaccines for older cats. Clevie was too old for that shot.

I never would have agreed to put him down if I knew it was a reaction to a vaccine! There is apparently a drug called enephredrine that counter-acts the toxic side effects of distemper shots. If I had known how to recognize a bad reaction to that vaccine I surely would have taken Clevie in for the antidote before he got so bad. My vet never mentioned any side effects to watch for.

So knowing all of this has made me feel so awful, angry and upset about the way my kitty died. He was a very strong-willed cat and a real fighter. I feel he had one or two good years left in him if it hadn’t been for that darn shot!

 

[les26]

I am sorry that happened to you, I guess you will never know for sure if that was the cause of his decline and then death, but I understand what you are saying. When Sebastian was sick November 2015 I took him to the vet and they gave him a shot of Convenia, and I have since read many really awful things about that drug. I took him back 4 days later because he seemed like he was worse, another vet at this same vet looked at him and took him into another room and without even asking me gave him ANOTHER shot of it! I said "wait a minute, I thought that was a 2 week shot?" and she said "yes, but sometimes they need another one of it and he wasn't responding to it". I talked to the vet who originally saw him after he had passed and he was not happy to hear that she gave him another shot and I guess I will always have in the back of my mind that she either killed him or sped it up, just like you are doing. But it's moot now, they are both gone but they are both fine now, it is us who wonder and suffer but they are fine.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am sorry that you lost your little friend, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.....

 

[Furballsmom]

I am so sorry to hear this!
I'm hurting for you that this happened because it means that there's a possibility it will rob you of the good memories.

I guess my other concern is that I find it difficult to think that the drug you mentioned could reverse the heart failure or the tumor, even had he gotten it early.

I so wish I could remove the negativity for you.

RIP baby sweetheart Cleveland, and I hope and pray your loving person can find peace as well.

 

[Willowy]

I'm so sorry for your loss .

Epinephrine is liquid adrenaline. It can shock the body out of an acute anaphylactic reaction, but won't do anything for a lower-grade reaction.

Vaccines should only be given to healthy animals (or humans!). So he shouldn't have been given the vaccine, but I'm not sure it's what caused his health issues. Things happen to older cats (and people); usually there's no clear cause for them other than old age.

Was he anesthetized for the shave?

 

[Maria Bayote]

Oh no, this is so sad! I would also be very upset if I were you. Have you discussed this after with the vet?

But please do not dwell on this much longer as it could cause you too much unnecessary stress, sadness and even guilt. I am really sorry this happened to you and to your precious Cleveland. Hang on to the happy memories you both shared, to ease the pain and even possible anger his untimely death has brought you.

 

[di and bob]

The vet visit itself could cause too much stress for a failing heart, what I guess I'm trying to say is there are too many things that could have contributed to the symptoms he experienced. When we lose someone we love, shortly into the grieving process our minds clear up a little from the 'fog' of grieving enough to start to try to 'rationalize' what happened. We don't want to accept what really happened so we cling to every concievable senario that would give some kind of explanation. Believe me, it doesn't help to go there, it does not change the outcome and only brings more guilt, more heatache. You did absolutely nothing wrong, you trusted your vet and did what they suggested. You have to have intent to have guilt and the only intent you had was to do what you thought best for your little one.
I would ask the advise of a second vet to see if any wrongdoing accured. the only problem is that just like human Dr.s, they have different opinions and beliefs too.
I myself,quit giving vaccines for my senior at 16, but he did have his full set then, because there was an outbreak of distemper in our neighborhood at the time, and I witnessed how horrible it was to suffer from it. If there were no reactions to vaccinations before, SOMETHING had to have happened to make this one different, it may have been something with a change in his own immune system, he may have been much weaker and had declined more than you knew, cats can hide it well.
This anger, this guilt, this horrible not knowing, will rule your life if you let it. It is something everyone had to go through or it will tear you apart. It is grief speaking. My heart goes out to you because I, myself, have stood where you are more than once. Once you burn through it, it leaves you exhausted and changes absolutely nothing, our precious loved one is still gone.
The one constant you have in your life right now, is that the bond of love you have with that sweet boy can never be taken from you, it is spiritual and will never die. He needs to know you will be all right, he would never want to cause you such pain because that is what love is. Just as you would want for him if you were the first to go, so he wants for you to live and find joy in being alive because he now lives on through you.
Of course you mourn his leaving, it is like an amputation because a part of you is missing. But the life you shared together, the memories that one day will bring you comfort are still there, "Death cannot take that which never dies". To have never had him in your life, to have never have known him, to avoid the pain of losing him, would have been unthinkable because of what he brought to your life and what he now leaves for you to hold. It is a treasure beyond compare.....
Bring something good out of this darkness, you have already started by warning others of what you have experienced. Saving the life of one other precious soul will be a reward, and you may save countless lives with your posting over time.
My heart goes out to you, I'll pray for you all. Give that sister a kiss for me, she is grieving too. Be gentle on yourself, take care.....RIP dear Cleveland. ypou will never be forgotten, you will have a secure place in a loving heart for eternity. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Cleveland, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Darlin, without a necropsy, you can never know exactly what happened, but I will tell you that the symptoms you described are ALSO text-book for acute heart failure. And we know that that was an issue for him. Regardless, you did the very best for him, based on the best advice available to you AT THE TIME. It is all any of us can do. Of COURSE you are angry, of COURSE, you blame yourself in part, but that blame is misplaced. And, in the end, what matters most to you, and to Cleveland where he is now, is lifetime of love and care, and a promise to meet again one sweet, fine day.