Skittish kitties

[wssamuelson]

I adopted two cats at the end of June, one kitten (female), one about six months old (male). They were in the same foster home. Since I brought them home, the kitten had never really warmed up to me. She will cuddle with me when I’m in bed and let me pet her then, but otherwise she runs away when I come near her. I have tried treats (which she loves and will beg for) and she still won’t come near me. She doesn’t act like she’s afraid of me. She just wants nothing to do with me. My older boy is a little skittish too. He hides under a chair all day. When he comes out at night he will sit with me in my chair and let me pet him, and he’s very cuddly when I’m in my bed. I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong. I’m home most of the time, on work at home since the pandemic started. But there will be times coming up when I have to leave them alone. A big problem is that I can’t get either of them to let me trim nails. We have had to go to the vet and that’s a trauma in itself. I need advice! I love them to pieces but I feel like I’m doing something to hurt them that makes them avoid me.

 

[Furballsmom]

I realize it's been a few weeks, but would there be any chance you could talk to the foster parent and ask them some questions?

Something you could try if you haven't, is sitting on the floor while you work on your computer/phone, and don't look directly at them since eye contact can seem like aggression. Also, try ignoring them and just go about your daily routine This may take some time so don't expect overnight results.

 

[ArtNJ]

If cats are using the posts, you shouldn't need to trim their nails. I haven't done so in 20 years with various cats. As far as the vet, try leaving the cages out at all times and throwing the treats in there to desensitize them to the cage and get them used to going in there.

In general, with a skittish cat, you want to figure out what they are comfortable with, and do that. Maybe its petting them when sleepy. Or maybe they have a favorite spot where they will allow petting. Often that is somewhere where you are quiet, like the bed. And as Furballsmom said, just trying to chill around them. Once you have some spots to worth with, it generally gets easier. One cat would crawl on my chest on the bed. So I started lying on the couch and making the call noise. That became a thing. Years later, when she was no longer skittish, I got on the floor to stretch for a run. She surprised me by remembering her old habit and crawled onto my chest lol. Gradual expansion can work in other words.

Some cats its harder. I have a one year old that still only likes to be petted in certain spots around the house. She really likes us, and will cry for attention from us, but then she runs to one of the spots. Even in one of the spots (like the bed) she only usually wants to be petted for a little bit. And she is just generally skittish. But I don't mind too much. The other cat is a lap hog, and its clear she likes us, so its all good.