single cat after bonded "partner" dies - will she bond to a new cat/kitten?

[dorianscats]

We had a pair of cats who were deeply in love with each other (see photos). Last year, at age 13, one of them died, leaving our 10 year old cat as an only cat. She has been doing fine. We are ready to adopt again.

I'm curious to hear others' experiences: what are the odds that a formerly-bonded cat will attach to a new addition? And if you've had success, any tips in terms of the age and sex of the new addiition? I assume we'd be better off with a kitten, but I think my mom had success once adopting another adult cat whose bonded partner had died (or been separated?), so I'm wondering if that approach has worked for others.

One constraining factor if we adopt soon is that we fostered over the summer and had some panleukopenia tragedies, so if we adopt this year we can only consider older kittens, old enough to have had three distemper vaccinations. I'm guessing 4-5 month old kittens are the youngest we could adopt for now.

 

[betsygee]

Aww, what sweet photos.

We went through a similar experience. We had three kitties who had grown up together. Two died from cancer over the course of a couple of years, leaving our 13 year old boy alone for the first time in his life. We adopted a 14 year old female from the SPCA who had recently lost her human mom.

She was quite skittish at first and we weren't sure they'd be friends. It took some time for them to get used to each other and for Mowie to get used to a new home, but it's worked out well. They are now 14 and 15, similar in energy levels, and they spend a lot of time now hanging out and sleeping together.



Getting an older kitty worked for us, but each cat is so different, it would be hard to say what's best. Keep us posted as to what you decide and how it works out!

 

[dorianscats]

That's great to hear that even though your own cat was older, he still made friends with the new addition! That's so wonderful that you adopted a 14 year old. What a happy ending!

Can I ask if the cats who passed away were also female? As we think about adding a cat or kitten to our house, I'm pondering whether we should limit our search to cats who were the same sex as the one who died.

 

[betsygee]

The other two were a male and a female, and Ozzy was actually more bonded with the male. I didn’t have a sex in mind when looking for a new companion for him. There may be guidelines for things like that, and we just lucked out getting a female.

 

[Alldara]

Personality will be more important than age or sex of the cat.
An older cat will likely match energy levels best. If you're getting one that also likes to cuddle and is non-reactive to other cats, you'll be more likely to have ease with settling them together.

If you go with a younger cat, I suggest one that comes from a foster home with an older cat. I had good experiences that way, but I wouldn't say my elder 2 were bonded.

 

[Tobermory]

As with humans, sometimes they click and become besties and sometimes they don’t. Whatever you decide, just know that it will probably take time on their part and patience on yours.

I had two 10-year-old sisters when I adopted two-year-old Mocha. The sisters didn’t like each other and Lily only ever tolerated Mocha, but Iris and Mocha ended up like this…all the time:

It was clear at the shelter that Mocha liked other cats and that proved to be the case when I introduced her to Lily and Iris.

It depends on the older cat, but kittens are relentless when it comes to playing and chasing and if the older kitty doesn’t stand firm, it can be pretty stressful. I agree with Alldara that personality is more important than age or sex.

 

[Alldara]

Tobermory Isn't it interesting?
Got Lily for Nobel but they ended up more coexisting. They both loved having Minou as a buffer. Didn't care for my roommates cat before that but tolerated her. They'd all be in bed on me in different spots.
Two make cat roomies after that they liked one and not the other. Then they were happy to be around my other roommate's two cats after that, but never bonded like with Minou. Lily cuddled with my parents dogs more than Nobel.

After Lily, we went in strong on personality and Nobel loved Magnus a ton. Calcifer he got jealous of but also loved.

Cal and Magnus are closer in age and more like regular human siblings. Play wrestling and having a good time but also the occasional irritation. Ghost they are both very attached to and hes very attached to them. There was more cogrooming for Cal and Magnus when Nobel was alive and then again now with Ghost. They got on each other's nerves just as the two of them.

 

[ArtNJ]

On average, 10 year old cats don't do great with new cats. The odds of friendship are reduced as cats age, and more often then not, your working to get to toleration, often with some stress along the way. But you never know, and friendship is still possible.

What I always tell people is do not get another cat for your senior cat. The odds are that if they could talk, they would never thank you for that. But if YOU want another cat, and are prepared to whether some stress in your house that may last a good bit, then it is a reasonable thing to do.