Simon's Story: A Cat's Tail... "a life celebrated".

[Loving Mickey]

Shadow didn't post.
That is okay, as I am sure you have seen them around the site.
I know it is hard to remember, as there are so many beautiful and precious kitties on this site.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Hijack my thread, lol no way.  I'm loving these pictures.  I'm going to snoop around your profile and check out your pictures.  Mittens is gorgeous, and well, Mickey was certainly an angel, what a beautiful coat.

I'm doing well.  I have moments.  When I find random pictures I forgot about, it tears me up but I am grateful they are in a better place.  And I do believe that God for what ever reason, kept Chestnut around long enough for me to lean on for support, but knew she would just be too sick to stick around.  

After all of the heartache with Simon, I couldn't imagine caring for Chestnut like that.  Not that she's worth it, but in truth, and this might sound selfish, but I lost out on a few jobs last year, and at 52 years old, I need to stay in the game or else people forget about you.  Plus, my right hand thumb was destroyed with syringe feeding Simon. No Joke, because of the way I was holding the syringes when feeding, to tore my flexor tendons and nerves, I had it wrapped for most of the summer, and am now able to move my thumb without it snapping like a Barbi limb.  I would have to snap it into the position I needed it in.  Still hurts bad.

I will always kick myself for putting my doctors visits over Chestnuts needs back during the summer - but that's something I'll have to live with.

I do miss them and my heart will always ache for their company, but on the flip side, I'm looking forward to giving 2 other sweet souls a forever home.  

After all, my handle is 2Cats4everLoved. lol

below is a picture I found of Simon,

we were redoing the apt and he was fascinated by his own picture. LOL

IMG_0356.JPG

• 2Cats4everLoved
• Jan 19, 2017

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

Hello Everyone, It's been a while since I posted here.

Even though you all have remained close in my heart, I found it difficult to be here this past year. 2017 seems like a lost year... the year without. I know this is silly, but I found sadness in seeing my username 2Cats4everLoved, knowing I was without my babies. Again, silly I know. Also, last year I started reading some of the 1 year anniversary posts, and it made realize that Simon's anniversary was coming up. Wow, where did the time go.

I will never forget all the kitties who Crossed the Bridge in 2016
We are forever bonded by loss and our love for our sweet souls.


Looking back, I feel a bit selfish that I shy'd away knowing I may be able to lend my personal experiences and support, much the way I was treated, but it was a bit painful from time to time.

And honestly the new site was a little frustrating for this old gal to get used to, not to mention my computer was shot, lol.

For the past year, I had been glued to the local shelter sites looking for my future furry friend, but every time we got close they were adopted. It made me so sad. I'd look at these faces, thinking of names and what they would be like in my arms, only to have to pass on them. It wasn't healthy for my mentality. I realized that I needed to stay away until we were definitely ready.

It was around Christmas when @Antonio65 PM'd me, asking me how I was able to get through the loss of my boy and girl. It got me thinking and what I came up with was - time. Time passed by and I was able to let myself off the hook for feeling so very guilty, questioning if I went down the right road with Simon, and for being so consumed with him, not realizing at the time how very sick Chestnut was. There is only so much we as pet owners can handle, and I realize I exhausted all my resources and things worked out the way they were supposed to, although it didn't at the time.

If I treated Simon's cancer in an aggressive manor, he would have hated me allowing his bottom jaw to be removed. He was too proud to live like that. And sweet girl Chessy I still wonder about. However, I do know now that she had more issues than disclosed to us at the adoption, so had we known we could have treated her from the start accordingly.

Don't get me wrong, I let myself off the hook for the guilt, but my heart pounds every time I look at their pictures and see their urns side by side.

At Christmas Antonio asked me how I get through the days without my Simon. And this is what I came up with in my soul searching, it was Antonio who made me realize what a gift I was given.

Below is part of what I wrote on @Antonio65 tribute to Lola this morning.

If lucky, 1 out of millions of kitties get to experience this type of life.

It's easy to be on TCS and think all cats are loved and cared for as much as we members write about, but the reality is there is an estimated 80 million cats alone in the US who are out on the streets fending for themselves. When you think about that - it's got to be fate that brings our "special" kittens/cats to our attention. I really believe that these Special Bonds are created out in the Universe long before we ourselves know it in our hearts only for us to stumble upon them at the exact moment in our lives when we (for whatever reason) need each other.

When we first meet our purrballs no one starts thinking about what may happen down the road. I think about that when thinking of my sweet boy Simon. I think about how lost my husband and I were in his personality and loving ways, time passed so quickly while having fun, it never crossed my mind that cancer of all things would kill him.

These Special Bonds are to be celebrated and remembered with great fondness, not sadness. I know it's easier said than done, but in time you will be able to move forward and be able to think back with happy thoughts.

What gets me through, is knowing how rare these bonds are makes me realize I had something truly special. A priceless Gift.

What also got me through was knowing someday I would be able to share my love with another kitty. I know many don't have the option to adopt, especially after caring for a terminal cat where expenses were probably through the roof, but volunteering or visiting the local shelters and lending a kind gentle hand may help in your healing process.

As promised at the time of my babies departure, I said I would look to adopt a cat around Simon and Chestnuts age, 13. This past January I did just that, I adopted 12 year old sisters who were at North Shore Animal Shelter on Long Island for 8 months, they were in the top 10 for the longest residence.

I had been looking at all the pictures of by babies and realized that I needed a kitty for Christmas, and I knew it was time, I wasn't going to miss out on these two gals. I look forward to introducing them to you all. They have been a bundle of love and a handful. LOL

After writing this, I do realize that everyone handles loss differently. My thought is, if I ached terribly for my lost kitties, I needed to give my unused love to another. I don't feel as if I'm replacing Simon & Chestnut, just passing on the love.

Don't feel guilty for wanting to adopt after a loss. The love you'll get back from a shelter cat is amazing.

I hope this finds all my TCS friends healthy in 2018. I thank you all again for the support I was given during my fight.

Warmest wishes always, Hope

Below is a silly picture of my Simon back in 2009, he loved helping out with the decorating except when he realized I was going to dress him up. LOL

The above is a picture of Chestnut 2011, when she first came up to live with us after my dad passed, on the top you can see Simon in his fort assessing the situation, not liking where this was headed. They never really bonded, but did respect one another. Looking back, Chess was the aggressive one, poor Simon.

 

[di and bob]

Thank you so much for your update, your healing progress and the wonderful news of your adoption of those sisters. You will never replace the love you have for Chestnut and Simon, because you don't have to. They will always have a place in your heart, and the new loves will grow right alongside them. It's hard to begin a new journey, but the happiness and love will come, time will help you build a new life order for yourself. Allow yourself to let their love in, they will help to heal that broken heart. May God bless all of you with happiness here on earth, and take care of the two he is loving in heaven. Until you meet again.

 

[artiemom]

I am so happy for you, coming to terms with things, as you have.. Simon and Chestnut will always be with you..

Now you have room for 2 "little" girls.. a bonded pair.. they shall live out their lives in luxury and love..

Thank you so much for your update.. pictures of the newcomers, please..

I would write more, but 'things' are just going on in my head.. but I had to write you...

love to you and your girls...
XX00

 

[abby2932]

Good to hear from you, Hope. I'm so happy that you have been doing well and decided to open your arms to another pair of felines. I remember Simon's story well. I didn't speak to you much (I'm not very good with words) but I followed your story closely and admired the way you cared for him in his end days. It takes a very strong person to be able to do what you did. I think I posted on one of your threads one time that I hoped I would be as good as you were when my cat needed me. I just lost him almost 3 weeks ago and I didn't have a chance to help much because he declined so quickly.

Your 2 new ladies may not know it yet but they are the luckiest kitties to have you on their side.

 

[2Cats4everLoved]

I'm so sorry to learn of your loss, it's painful for all involved. Perhaps your sweet boy was sparing you the tears, much like I experienced. I'll look for your memorial page.

Yes, I do remember your posts. Again, so very sorry. Thank you for your reply.xo

With Simon, in hindsight I probably would have ended his suffering a few days earlier, but then again, he kept showing us that spark, even feeling bad. I'll never forget how his paw was in my had and his eyes staring at me. I miss him still, but have so much more love to give. These gals are a sweet handful of love.

Be well my TCS Friend, warmest regards, Hope