Simon's Story: A Cat's Tail... "a life celebrated".
Simon James
Found Thursday 10:30am - June 5th, 2003 - Forever Lost Wednesday 4:54ish - June 8th, 2016
How I'm feeling... oddly strange.
I've held off on writing this page for my sweet boy Simon for several reasons, the biggest being, writing in Crossing the Bridge means, Simon is in fact gone, never to return. A fact that is still hard for me to wrap my brain around. Going through the journey with him as I did, didn't make the ending easier, as I originally thought it would, and you all said otherwise. I feel silly in saying, I was really hoping for a miracle.
Above, Simon & the Lady Bug. every spring/summer we get swarms of them
I've been overwhelmed with sadness. A sadness I've never known as an adult, and I've lost my family. This is different, and I'm not sure why. I'm not sad all the time, it comes in waves. I know many of you know exactly how I feel, it's a strange and unfamiliar feeling. I've been mentally and physically exhausted, the weather here has been cool, crisp, breezy and so I've been sleeping. Much to my surprise, I've never slept better. I'm convinced Simon has something to do with the beautiful weather and my new found love for sleeping, knowing I can't handle humidity and I rarely ever got more than 4 hours a night. Physically, my body hurts from all the bending and most of all my thumb is sprained from the syringe feeding in his last 2 weeks. It's been wrapped making it hard to type or do anything else for that matter. For the record, thumbs are important and come in handy...
Another reason is @Edwardthefirst lost Eddie the following morning, June 9th. The cancer made it hard for him to breath and he gave her signs, that the time has come. I guess we've been grieving together behind closed doors.
I said to @Edwardthefirst, there's a sadness and great calmness. The relief of knowing Simon won't get worse and is no longer suffering is comforting, but then that empty feeling sets in, a painful void of sorts, leaving me with a gnawing ache tugging at my heart. And we both agreed, we'd trade our nights sleep anytime if it meant bringing them back.
Edwardthefirst won't be doing a page on crossing the bridge, so I'd like to take a moment to share with you her handsome boy.
Eddie was buried that evening during a beautiful sunset at home, where he will remain close to the hearts of his loved ones.
Rest in Peace Sweet Eddie. 2004 - June 9th, 2016
Above, Eddie looking regal, flashing his golden eyes. Above, Eddie relaxed, playful & flirty
There is something hauntingly beautiful in both @Edwardthefirst and myself seeing the same sky over Queens NY, the "Paws of Angels" picture I posted in Simon's Diary a couple of nights before they died. What were the odds that she would be here in Queens NY from England looking up at the same sky, only to lose our sweet boys within hours. The universe is a wonder, I feel we are all connected in ways unknown.
I find myself looking out at the sky with sadness now, knowing I won't have Simon to look out with me. I realize he made me see things I normally wouldn't. Anyway, the weekend before Simon died, a dear friend sent me a necklace with a pendant, on it is a silhouette of a cat looking up at a crescent moon.
The night after Simon died, and the same night Eddie was buried, I looked out over towards Manhattan and saw this sky...
You can see through the tree on the left, a crescent moon. The left was around 7:30ish and the other was just after 8. It's rare to see a moon over Manhattan.
Seeing this somehow made me feel good. Edwardthefirst was teasing that Simon and Eddie were probably fighting over a "girlfriend". LOL I said, knowing these two studs, they probably have their own and are hanging out with handsome Lamont. LOL.
@Donutte said it would be the stupidest things that would set me off and that is 100% correct, finding a whisker on the floor, seeing his mice on the floor where he last left them. Every thing in this apartment reminds me of my boy. @nerdgirl5 said, I'll probably be able to put closure on this and grieve properly when I get Simon's remains back. That should be next week, hopefully Wednesday.
The biggest and most noticeable difference is when we leave the apt. Especially with hubby in the morning, we had a 10 to 15 minute ritual of Simon hearing the keys which we called, "daddy's keys" and he come out from where ever he was then head bump the keys, then as hubby approached the door, Simon would have to walk around the dinning table, then walk around me until he finally stuck his head out the door and walked hubby to the stairs, or I would hold him and he would nose bump hubby, he would do this with me also. And when I put my make up on, Simon loved me stroking the blush brush on his face. Between the two, we have an extra 25 minutes in the morning. I didn't realize how much Simon and I were joined at the hip. He was always by my side watching and being involved in everything I did.
As I had suspected all along, Chestnut was the aggressor, her attitude has changed a little, as sweet as she is with people, I knew she drove Simon nuts. At one point on the night Simon died, for a split second I looked at her and thought, why wasn't this you... she was after all the one with the original health issues. Then guilt and shame came over me so fast, how could I even had thought that about my sweet girl. She is a sweetest and I'm the one that picked her out, or should say, we picked each other. She goes with the flow, pretty easy going, I look forward to seeing her true personality. I feel terrible. Then I think back to thinking, I hope for Simon's sake he dies before us. He would never be able to handle life in a new home or shelter. I guess we should be specific when making wishes...
I still feel guilty for thinking that about Chestnut, I guess I will for a while. Especially how she's let me hug her and cry on her shoulder, I will make it up to her always and forever. I have made her a spot on the bed in the window, and she knows it's now her spot. I think she knows how much I love her. I hope so, I keep telling her.
Okay, I'm babbling now. I'll touch more on Simon's funny habits when I write later on in a much more worthy memorial post. My thoughts seems so scattered, I can't think straight when it comes to Simon. I realize I've gotten some dates wrong, which I can't believe, but when my mind stops running, I'll get it together.
I'd like to thank you for your private messages of concern. I'm good and will be fine. It's just tough. As advised, I've gotten a candle and keep it lit near my Simon's picture, it does make me feel good.
And special thanks to @Red Top Rescue for sending the beautiful card from everyone on The Cat Site. I've said this before and I will keep saying it. Your support, encouragement and advice gave me more days with my Simon, I don't think I could have made it all the way without you all by my side.
The well wishes, thoughts & prayers and positive energy sent our way was the most beautiful act of human kindness from people of all faiths, beliefs, ethnicities and races. I will be forever in awe of you all.
And @Margret thank you again for taking the time to "treat" Simon. I believe it made a difference, even if it was short lived, the burst of energy gave me the gift of seeing Simon as he always was, a playful, feisty kitty.
Thank you all. Hope, Hubby & Chestnut
Below, Simon resting in my bass case, "mommy, I'm not moving".
Gosh I miss my Simon
Simon James
Found Thursday 10:30am - June 5th, 2003 - Forever Lost Wednesday 4:54ish - June 8th, 2016
How I'm feeling... oddly strange.
I've held off on writing this page for my sweet boy Simon for several reasons, the biggest being, writing in Crossing the Bridge means, Simon is in fact gone, never to return. A fact that is still hard for me to wrap my brain around. Going through the journey with him as I did, didn't make the ending easier, as I originally thought it would, and you all said otherwise. I feel silly in saying, I was really hoping for a miracle.
Above, Simon & the Lady Bug. every spring/summer we get swarms of them
I've been overwhelmed with sadness. A sadness I've never known as an adult, and I've lost my family. This is different, and I'm not sure why. I'm not sad all the time, it comes in waves. I know many of you know exactly how I feel, it's a strange and unfamiliar feeling. I've been mentally and physically exhausted, the weather here has been cool, crisp, breezy and so I've been sleeping. Much to my surprise, I've never slept better. I'm convinced Simon has something to do with the beautiful weather and my new found love for sleeping, knowing I can't handle humidity and I rarely ever got more than 4 hours a night. Physically, my body hurts from all the bending and most of all my thumb is sprained from the syringe feeding in his last 2 weeks. It's been wrapped making it hard to type or do anything else for that matter. For the record, thumbs are important and come in handy...
Another reason is @Edwardthefirst lost Eddie the following morning, June 9th. The cancer made it hard for him to breath and he gave her signs, that the time has come. I guess we've been grieving together behind closed doors.
I said to @Edwardthefirst, there's a sadness and great calmness. The relief of knowing Simon won't get worse and is no longer suffering is comforting, but then that empty feeling sets in, a painful void of sorts, leaving me with a gnawing ache tugging at my heart. And we both agreed, we'd trade our nights sleep anytime if it meant bringing them back.
Edwardthefirst won't be doing a page on crossing the bridge, so I'd like to take a moment to share with you her handsome boy.
Eddie was buried that evening during a beautiful sunset at home, where he will remain close to the hearts of his loved ones.
Rest in Peace Sweet Eddie. 2004 - June 9th, 2016
Above, Eddie looking regal, flashing his golden eyes. Above, Eddie relaxed, playful & flirty
There is something hauntingly beautiful in both @Edwardthefirst and myself seeing the same sky over Queens NY, the "Paws of Angels" picture I posted in Simon's Diary a couple of nights before they died. What were the odds that she would be here in Queens NY from England looking up at the same sky, only to lose our sweet boys within hours. The universe is a wonder, I feel we are all connected in ways unknown.
I find myself looking out at the sky with sadness now, knowing I won't have Simon to look out with me. I realize he made me see things I normally wouldn't. Anyway, the weekend before Simon died, a dear friend sent me a necklace with a pendant, on it is a silhouette of a cat looking up at a crescent moon.
The night after Simon died, and the same night Eddie was buried, I looked out over towards Manhattan and saw this sky...
You can see through the tree on the left, a crescent moon. The left was around 7:30ish and the other was just after 8. It's rare to see a moon over Manhattan.
Seeing this somehow made me feel good. Edwardthefirst was teasing that Simon and Eddie were probably fighting over a "girlfriend". LOL I said, knowing these two studs, they probably have their own and are hanging out with handsome Lamont. LOL.
@Donutte said it would be the stupidest things that would set me off and that is 100% correct, finding a whisker on the floor, seeing his mice on the floor where he last left them. Every thing in this apartment reminds me of my boy. @nerdgirl5 said, I'll probably be able to put closure on this and grieve properly when I get Simon's remains back. That should be next week, hopefully Wednesday.
The biggest and most noticeable difference is when we leave the apt. Especially with hubby in the morning, we had a 10 to 15 minute ritual of Simon hearing the keys which we called, "daddy's keys" and he come out from where ever he was then head bump the keys, then as hubby approached the door, Simon would have to walk around the dinning table, then walk around me until he finally stuck his head out the door and walked hubby to the stairs, or I would hold him and he would nose bump hubby, he would do this with me also. And when I put my make up on, Simon loved me stroking the blush brush on his face. Between the two, we have an extra 25 minutes in the morning. I didn't realize how much Simon and I were joined at the hip. He was always by my side watching and being involved in everything I did.
As I had suspected all along, Chestnut was the aggressor, her attitude has changed a little, as sweet as she is with people, I knew she drove Simon nuts. At one point on the night Simon died, for a split second I looked at her and thought, why wasn't this you... she was after all the one with the original health issues. Then guilt and shame came over me so fast, how could I even had thought that about my sweet girl. She is a sweetest and I'm the one that picked her out, or should say, we picked each other. She goes with the flow, pretty easy going, I look forward to seeing her true personality. I feel terrible. Then I think back to thinking, I hope for Simon's sake he dies before us. He would never be able to handle life in a new home or shelter. I guess we should be specific when making wishes...
I still feel guilty for thinking that about Chestnut, I guess I will for a while. Especially how she's let me hug her and cry on her shoulder, I will make it up to her always and forever. I have made her a spot on the bed in the window, and she knows it's now her spot. I think she knows how much I love her. I hope so, I keep telling her.
Okay, I'm babbling now. I'll touch more on Simon's funny habits when I write later on in a much more worthy memorial post. My thoughts seems so scattered, I can't think straight when it comes to Simon. I realize I've gotten some dates wrong, which I can't believe, but when my mind stops running, I'll get it together.
I'd like to thank you for your private messages of concern. I'm good and will be fine. It's just tough. As advised, I've gotten a candle and keep it lit near my Simon's picture, it does make me feel good.
And special thanks to @Red Top Rescue for sending the beautiful card from everyone on The Cat Site. I've said this before and I will keep saying it. Your support, encouragement and advice gave me more days with my Simon, I don't think I could have made it all the way without you all by my side.
The well wishes, thoughts & prayers and positive energy sent our way was the most beautiful act of human kindness from people of all faiths, beliefs, ethnicities and races. I will be forever in awe of you all.
And @Margret thank you again for taking the time to "treat" Simon. I believe it made a difference, even if it was short lived, the burst of energy gave me the gift of seeing Simon as he always was, a playful, feisty kitty.
Thank you all. Hope, Hubby & Chestnut
Below, Simon resting in my bass case, "mommy, I'm not moving".
Gosh I miss my Simon